There’s a legend that in the days of the Roman empire, some wag once scrawled on the walls of a government building the words ‘non suffragium, Senatus in’. ‘Don’t vote, the Senate will get in’. The story may be apocryphal, but it’s bloody hard to disagree with the sentiment. It’s a case of ‘the more things change, the more they stay the same’.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I despise our poilticians to the very depth of my soul. They are scum-sucking pond life that feed on the very bottom. Naturally they all claim to seek office for altruistic reasons; they just want to serve, they don’t want to get on board the gravy train. But to me they are self-serving to a man and woman; arrogant, ambitious for power, devious, cynical, venal, chancers, spivs or plain incompetent. Often they’re the ‘perfect storm’ of most if not all of these things.

Just the briefest look back over recent years serves to illustrate the point. We’ve had a host of scandals such as cash for questions, cash for honours, cash for influence, dodgy donations, the Iraq WMD dodgy dossier, election result betting, the Westminster expenses outrage. We’ve had a sackful of sleazos such as Aitken, Vaz, Archer, Parish, Oaten, Onasanya and Pincher. We’ve had a roll-call of cynical bastards and incompetents like ‘Back to Basics’ Major (not forgetting the fragrant Edwina), Mandelson, Johnson, Corbyn, Abbott, Bercow and Bliar, the biggest cunt of all. Oh, and let’s most definitely not forget those who set themselves against the expressed will of the majority over Brexit and Scottish independence; step forward Sturgeon, Grieve, Cable, Lucas, Soubry….

Let’s get bang up to date with the latest bunch of devious chislers. I give you Lammy and Rayner, Reeves and Cooper, and of course shifty Arsehole-in-Chief Sir Keir Two-Tier, Sir Keir FreeGear Starmer, liar and hypocrite. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

I could cunt on for pages, listing the outrages and the perpetrators, but you all know where I’m coming from I’m sure. They’re all the same, opportunist flies buzzing around the same arse. They campaign on a platform of promises for a new start and a better deal, promises of integrity and accountability. But these things are there to be cynically thrown aside amid mealy-mouthed excuses and hand-wringing once they’ve served their purpose and are no longer expedient politically.

The parliaments of the UK are riddled with incompetence, cronyism, hypocrisy, trough-swilling and deceit. They are swamps which cannot be drained. A plague on all their houses. Don’t vote indeed; the government will get in.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Ron Knee.