Auto correct is a ducking count.
Lettuce half a “on this wee can all agree” counting for the piece of shift known as Auto Correct.
IsaC is an on line forum. It is not the Ox cart rebate society. Most of us are not Roads scholars.
We make miss stakes. Spelling, grammar, punctuation extra, extra, extra. Miner miss stakes can be looked over and ignorant as long as wee fake our pint.
Butt ducking Auto Correct…witch is supposed to make our wives wetter…has become an ember ass meant four many.
It thinks it knows what wee want two say. Butt honestly, if yew or eye eight a bowl of alphabet soap we could shit a moor intelligent massage than some A1 auto correct pro Graham wood right four us.
Know pint in betting it too dearth. Wee all no it’s a reel pane in the ash.
If I ever meat the count who inverted auto correct, Ill tell him to his face; duck off other trucker.
Butt yew counters from the British aisles are a bit more defined and police than us Tanks, sew you wood problem ably gist tell him; Got to duck.
Nominated by : General Cuntster
Correct 😁
10
It’s my suspicion that G00gles is a fucking half arsed know it all spying conglomerate cunt.
If my phone can’t remember what to type then fuck the Korean cunts and their American paymasters.
No doubt Apple is much better and my cheque is in the post.
anyway fūç/> tuëm the ar§ë80leZZ
10
Autocorrect, auto-capitalisation, predictive text, keyboard dictionary, switch the whole fucking lot off permanently is the way to go. Like when I get in a different car, first thing I do is switch off the gadgets that want to control throttle, brakes, steering etc. and finally the devil’s own device, the touch screen. Fuck ’em all!
11
I agree.
Auto correct and predictive text is a right Cynthia.
10
Is it a Payne then?
8
Sick to the back gnashers of this Liam Payne grief fest already.
The predictable shit about him being a ‘brave and beautiful soul’.
Every bugger who snuffs it gets called that now.
And ‘brave’ in what way? Brave for being rich and famous?
Brave for having birds on tap?
What the hell was brave about him?
Of course, it’s sad when anyone dies (well, almost anyone). But this grief overkill about this lad is both mawkish and ridculous.
29
pissed up and likely on The Sniff.
therefore skydiving a breach of health and safety.
Good health Norman.
15
Thanks Tez.
Arm is like a balloon today. Flu and Covid jabs done yesterday.
These cunts have everything on a plate, no financial worries, lives that others can only dream of. Yet these fuckers still behave as stupidly and as badly as possible. And, when they balls up, they get gushing tributes and virtual sainthoods. Whether it’s that cokehead cunt from Friends, Amy Wineskin or this One Direction person.
10
Norman, if you think th flu and covid jabs are bad, just try a shingles jab. I must have had over 100 bloody needles stuck in me this year but that one was a bit of a bugger. Still worth having done though.
1
So, you’ve had more pricks in one year than Katie Price, then?
1
Aye not wrong there mate.
Fuck Em.
7
Pity he didn’t do it three years earlier. He would have made the 27 Club.
1
Looking on the bright side, his bird with the banging tits is back on the market.
10
Oh, and expect a Chavs Aloud Sarah Harding gravy train style ‘tribute’ cash in tour. As Styles and errr the other one, and the asian personage and umm thingy re-form to pay their ‘respects’ for their departed bandmate,
3
I j just c can’t g get to g grips, w with this n nom, as I h have a t t t t terible stu t t er.
7
I am Kweer Stammer & I claim my expences.
7
Dyslexia rules ko!
8
Dyslexia, a real cunt of a word to spell. What were they thinking?
9
I had the old t shirt back in the 80’s
ADIS
Don’t die of dyslexia
9
I had the T-shirt that asked, “What does DNA stand for”?
National Dyslexia Association.
8
Old Macdonald had dyslexia, O I E I A.
1
Unless Autocorrect changes starmer to sponger, rayner to slag, reeves to thief, lammy to retard and miliband to mental then it’s completely pointless.
14
@geordie….streeting to straight…😩 Maybe not 👊
4
OT. I presume Ten German Bombers is now off the England playlist
And the tabloids will destroy ths Tuchel bloke if he fucks up.
One can see the headlines now….
‘Don’t Mention The VAR’
‘Who Do You Think You Are Kidding Mister Tuchel’
‘The Filth And The Fuhrer’
‘They Played Like (Storm) Troopers’
‘England Blitzed Again’
‘Not The Reich Result’
Go! In Ze Name Ov Gott, Go!’
17
Not to worry Norman, the appointment of a foreigner to manage our national team puts us firmly on a par with all the other African nations.
7
I think it’s marvellous.
Never had a issue.
It’s there to help those with ‘issues’.
😆
18
Auto correct sent me flowers and a letter saying if everyone was like me they’d be out of business
Sniff 🧐
7
Holland & The Netherlands.
It`s all double-Dutch to me.
🟠
10
Mme Beau,
Shirley you relate…
https://www.castlekitchenfoods.com/products/double-dutch-dark-chocolate-premium-hot-chocolate
I know! Stop calling you Shirley.
It wasn’t my fault.
It was ducking auto connect.
3
The guy who invented autocorrect has just died…
His funfair is next Monkey.
15
He’s deed?
I wonder what his tombstone will say.
Hear lyes the man who inverted auto connect. A grate count.
15
I can’t understand that when I’ve obviously fucked up with my fat fingers and type ‘tge’ instead of ‘the’, the cunting thing accepts it.
9
Actually, when I typed that, it did correct me, for the first time ever.
Surely evidence that my bastard phone is not only monitoring my search history etc, it’s actually reading my mind.
What a count!
8
In the light of today’s news from the Middle East I typed ‘Sinwar’ and autocorrect changed it to ‘singed’.
Rather understated, in my opinion.
14
They have got Jar Jar Binks 😂
7
Off topic…
It is a great day Geordie.
It took us Yanks 10 years to get Bin Laden but our Kosher friends caught up with and martyred this cunt in a year.
I hope he’s enjoying his heavenly rewards.
13
His 72 virologists.
11
No doubt there will be a vigil for the cunt in Khans London.
With coppers taking the fucking knee 😂
11
Yes 72 mothers in law. All in full bitch mode.
6
I did a Goggle search for Yoyo Dim Wart and it says he was kilted.
Apparently he was from the Palestinian Highlands.
6
You’ve got to feel for St Jeremy though, losing so many friends just recently.
Ah well, to look on the bright side, at least the North Islington branch of Interflora is having a bumper year.
7
Sorry, forgot to say
Grate nomad, Generalisation.
4
Thanks Geode!
4
72 Malalas….
Imagine the fucking noise?
‘But… But… She was shot!’
And don’t we (and the taxpayer) know it.🤢
2
Auto correct
Peggy to Mannix “it could be a trap joe”
Peggy always knew when Mannix was going to get th fk kict out ov em
4
Great nom, Herr General! German auto correct must be a right laugh.
6
Thinks Twitty.
Unter der se?
4
I have a few books about autocorrect fails, some of them are epic.
3
Hey doggie,
Yew should post sum of them.
3
There used to be several but I’m not sure where they’ve got to:
https://www.boredpanda.com/funniest-autocorrects-2012/
3
I see kamala “rolf” Harris was getting auto corrected on fox last night..
What a car crash.
That’s really a excuse to post this video.
https://x.com/PapiTrumpo/status/1846684133298159702?t=jjdpkTpi-CZNLCsJTOyplQ&s=19
6
Indeed it was Barry.
Bret “Trump hating” Baier* had Ole’ Flatback on her heels for the whole interview.
The behind the scenes story is that they agreed to a 1/2 hour interview and Cacklin’ Kami showed up 15 minutes late and her entourage told them they might do 15 or 20 minutes.
During the interview her “handlers” stood behind her gesturing for Baier to hurry up…move on…wrap it up etc.
What’s hilarious is that Bret Bair is one of the foremost Trump Haters at RAT News. Maybe she thought he would be sympathetic to her hate filled rant against the Orange Hitler.
*Bret’s colleagues and pals Jonah “Judas” Goldberg and Stephen “Purple” Hayes left RAT News over their hatred of Trump.
5
Auto correct will lead to mass arrests.
I ate my dinner, very dangerous thing to write or post, it is so it is
Behave responsively, or face the conciseness.
3
Hands off the Fork Lands you Argie bastards!
4
Lice counting General Munster.
3
Tanks Liberated Liquor dated
3
I don’t know why, but whilst reading this nom, a vision popped into my head. 😲
It was of a lithe and voluptuous young lady dressed in a black leather catsuit, with Velcro flaps in er, strategic areas, spikey heeled boots and bright red lipstick 💋, brandishing a riding crop.
Miss. Auto – Correct. A totally fictitious character of course and simply the product of an overactive imagination. But very interesting nonetheless. 😃
Good evening. 👍
6
Reminds me of the character, Ursa. On the Blu Ray of Richard Donner’s Superman, there is screen test for Dana Gillespie as Ursa.
Far more big up top and more dominant than the Sarah Douglas version (and she was sexy enough too).
Dana can be seen auditioning here on the 1 minute mark.
Evening Jack.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M5BQ4onal0
3
Ho, ho, ho ! Dana Gillespie. Now there was a sprightly filly. Most scrumptious.
I think I know how this Miss. Auto – Correct has manifested herself in my consciousness. I was watching The Avengers last night, paying particular attention to Mrs. Peel, the marvelous Diana Rigg. One of the most attractive and desirable women ever to have lived, a true English Rose, from the fine county of Yorkshire.
Whenever I see her it always brings to mind the Avengers episode A Touch of Brimstone…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxSpTKE5Jno
The memory must have been lurking in my subconscious. Somehow it’s fused with the word autocorrect.
How lovely.
Evening Norman.
3
Bet you’re in handcuffs for the correction dream, Are you blind folded as-well, face down or possibly suspended by apparatus.
Each stinging moment releasing the inner Jack to its core element.
Surely yore not a Tory with one to many plastic bags.
0
Hey Jack,
You are Thomas the CE and I claim my 5 bucks.
(I don’t even get that joke.)
3
Of course you don’t old man, you’re an American……
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lobby_Lud
Five pounds was a handsome sum, years ago.
Evening General.
5
Evening Jack,
Who you* calling “old man?”
I consider myself young at heart but old enough to know better.
Now what about my fiver?
*Outraged American vernacular.
3
Edit:
You are Jack the Counter and I claim my liver.
2
” Old man ” is a term very often used in a friendly or informal way, it can be tinged with sarcasm, as shown here…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxSpTKE5Jno
3
Wrong link !
Here we go….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zO4iPELF1cU
1
Hey Jack,
I knew that. Here in the States we would never say that. That’s why the “outraged American vernacular” remark.
No harm. No foul. Just trying to be funny…which sometimes can be difficult in print on the interweb*
*That’s what youngsters in America today think us old guys call the internet.
2
GC@ 👍👍
1
Does anyone have Mitzi Gaynor in the Deadpool?
She’s on her way to “My Blue Heaven.”
2
Off topic…
…but it’s my nom…
After the remarks posted earlier in this thread about Yahah Sinwar I thought I would post this heartwarming account of his demise:
https://www.timesofisrael.com/liveblog_entry/drone-catches-wounded-sinwars-final-moments-before-his-killing-by-idf/
I love a feel good news story!
5
I wonder how many candidates will be putting their name forward to be the next leader ? Hehehe
” I’m very busy at the moment, maybe next time…..”
Hamas are on their knees.
Hezbollah are going the same way.
That just leaves the Houthis and Iranians to fuck up good style.
Save the best till last.
Give war a chance, fuck John Lennon.
10
I tried to reply but auto correct changed my remarks to Hamassholes and Hezbollocks…
2
Top work General C. I had a proper chuckle at that.
3
Thank yew Counts village
3
Yayah yayah
Yayah yayah
Hey hey hey
Goodbye
https://youtu.be/jsaTElBljOE?si=YmwXI_XhslIUZmxS
2
Ps
That lead singers got a touch of the tard about him.
Should he really be in a pop band?
2
No he shouldn’t.
Perhaps he was out on day release ?
Not many teenage girls putting his poster up on the bedroom wall. 😁
Morning MNC / All. 🌅👍
1