is a cunt.
Following on from JP’s nom, “Scaremongering Click Bait Masquerading As News”, may I nominate the despicable Daily Mail?
This cunting could refer to any amount of shithousery in which this rag indulges, but the most annoying thing is how these wanker reporters phrase their headlines:
‘Fury as….’
Never irritation, never mild annoyance, always “Fury”.
‘Steps out’
Some celebrity cunt is seen walking normally and they’re “stepping out”.
‘Slammed’
Someone has a slightly controversial opinion about which some nonentity whinges.
‘Vile’
Anything nominally ‘right-wing’
And yet more I can’t be arsed to elaborate upon:
‘Here’s why’
‘Reveals’
‘Sparks online debate’
‘I’m an expert on xxxxxx’
‘Claps back’
‘Goes wild’
No link necessary, just go on their establishment boot-licking website and see all examples of the above on the main page
Nominated by Thomas the cunt engine.
‘go on their establishment boot-licking website’ … what on earth would possess me to do that?
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The problem is journalists have become so lazy they just look on “social meeja” to get their stories, instead of going out looking for them. The last really genuine service the press gave was 15 years ago when the Daily Telegraph investigated the spurious “expenses” claims that our sponging MPs made which saw the end of the careers of several shits, like Hazel Blears and James Purnell (or Pur-nell as he liked to pronounce it). People are always “fuming” on social media, or they are “shocked” or “heartbroken”. There are far too many shocked broken hearts in social media-land. Or I should say, “In shock”.
Whichever paper finally nails Kweer though, should have a preservation order put upon it.
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Hazel Blears, that’s a name from the past. I am surprised TTK hasn’t put her in the HoL and Cabinet. She was so full of shit if someone gave her an enema she would have fitted in a dispatch case.
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Almost immediately after her resignation, the entitled old cunt put herself up for election for the Board of the Cooperative Society. She was accepted of course (just as that other old expenses fraudster Jacqui Smith, now back in the bosom of Kweer, became Chairman of Barts Health Authority.She knew fuck all about health, just as she knows fuck all about education, which she is now “in”). I suppose it depends on whether you are willing to kiss the Starmer arse. Old Blears must look really raddled by now.
9
Seen the latest opinion poll….. lab 27 Cons 27 Reform 21.
Not bad after 3 months.
On the YouTube naughty step again, the cunts didn’t like my comments about the PM.
As for the Dsily Fail…..
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The Daily Heil now seems to employ illiterate sixth form fuckwits instead of actual journalists.
Instagram is not a reliable news source either.
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May I add ‘forced’ as if by threat of violence when there were a multitude of choices available. As in ‘the couple were forced to watch their house being demolished’. No they weren’t, they could have went down the pub instead.
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Have we had a crisis today, if not I want to know why!
Not just the Mail all the rags like to sensationalise everything to sell their shit.
12
They don’t seem to bother about wanting to write some heart warming stories of our nostalgic past anymore. The reason being because the people are no more, but they would’ve passed on their knowledge. Then where is it ? Get up off your lazy arses and get doing some proper journalism and ask the old age pensioners before they freeze to death.
13
Well observed cunting, Mister Cuntengine.
On the other hand, headlines you will not see include:
“Religious Fundamentalist psychopaths machete soldier/little girls/innocent bystanders to death.”
“Tommy Robinson (aka Stephen Yaxley-Lennon) makes perfectly valid point about two-tier policing/insane immigration policy/state prevention of free speech.”
“Donald Trump is a great politician/favourite to win the Presidential election/ahead of Kamala Harris in the polls.”
Good morning, everyone.
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I get most of my news with my 👀….and Isac 👍…don’t need any sixth former with a snotty nose trying to convince me of any ‘fury’ and ‘catastrophe’ ….that is reserved for numpties who believe such 🐴💩…but unfortunately those said numpties are legion 😩
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Seconded. Sensationalism is why a lot of journalists leave to the world of PR, daaaahling! It’s just all about clicks and driving traffic now – not actually getting the truth out there.
Nonetheless, The Daily Heil and all other tabloids are shitrags. Fuck ’em. And fuck their shit website formatting out, too.
11
ATOM LEAK MOM IN AMBULANCE MERCY DASH SHOCK
Woman Taken to Hospital
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Morning all
8
I was searching for a link to go with a nomination I’m going to to post shortly.
Several rags have carried the story, but I wanted one that didn’t have a thousand ads ( the Sun), or require you to pay a subscription to read ( most of the others).
Strangely, the “best” one was the Mail, but without exception, all were worded identically, so it would appear that all they do is cut and paste from one publication to the next, and have probably copied it from Reddit in the first place.
Journalists! Plaigiarists, you mean.
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quite frankly it’s a VILE OUTRAGE
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Could be worse. It could be the fucking Guardian.
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Or even worse The New European with the who gives a feck views of the alcoholic failed porno writer Alastair Campbell, the utter gobsh!te lefty Paul Mason and other demented Europhiles.
11
The Daily Mail was always the much lampooned organ of the conservative blue rinse brigade – I haven’t looked in any detail at it for years; it’s just another limp wristed lefty wet wipe rag now is it? A sign of just how spineless the mainstream media establishment has become – the DM selling out as a moistened socialist tissue is no different to if Rothman’s decided to stop making fags and started marketing homeopathic herbal remedies.
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The Fail are complete cunts.
Make out they are high brow and a quality paper. Yet they are as sleazy and as trashy as the other tabloids. Their website is full of celebrity tarts that they see as part of ‘high society’. But they are just attention seeking trollops and wank fodder. Cunts like the Fail and the Grauniad bleated and whined about Page 3 and how ‘sexist’ and (wait for it) ‘vile’ it was. Yet the Fail cashes in on female flesh just as much.
And the Express are also cunts. Their ridiculous obsessions with UFOS and Princess Di are as tiresome as they are pathetic. Diana hs been dead for years. Yet the fuckers still put her on the front page with meaningless and pointless ‘stories’.
And don’t get me started on their Madeline McCann mania. All papers are more or less guilty of this one. All ‘missing’ kids are a tragedy (if she ever was missng, of course). But these cunts in the press make out this girl is more important than any other missing or disappeared kid. And the coverage only feeds the McCanns and ther monumental egos. Not to mention their bank balance.
15
The Express fetish these days is Harry Hewitt “Prince Harry farts and Everyone Says The Same Thing”.
Being Monday every paper if full of Strictly Come Mincing “shock” and “heartbreak” – and “everybody is saying the same thing”
The Sun must have been desperate on Saturday “Elton John – I Don’t Know How Long I Have Left”. Everybodies favourite granny on mortality. Perhaps he is afraid the Performing Rights Society is coming to institute a Fatwa – because he’s not performing right.
7
Fat Reg admits that he was very lucky that he didn’t catch the Big A in the 80s. Just like Freddie did
I dare say the fat wigheaded phag has nothing wrong with him (apart from the obvious). He is ust being theatrical (as is his wont) and getting publicity out of nothing.
5
Always remember my dad’s reaction that ‘Nikita’ video.
The old man said, ‘What the hell is he doing with some fit Russian bird? Everyone knows Elton John is a bum bandit.’
7
I must admit that I buy the Daily Supress on Wednesday and Saturday, to me it’s the least obnoxious of tomorrows cat litter tray liner.
I like their columnists, like Carol Malone ( who agreed with me the Phillip Schofield is a mardy arsehole) and Vanessa Feltz, who isn’t wearing well.
They also carried the Elton John whine, sorry I meant pity party. Elton, no one cares!
1
Question: Why haven’t the fucking McCann’s been arrested for ” wilful abandonment of a child”?
Why are they so fucking special?
The cunts.
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Middle class professinal class.
‘But… But they are doctors. Pillars of the community.’
Yeah, and so was Shipman.
8
The Daily Mail.
The Sun for the middle class.
14
The Fail is also now full of that demented misandrist liberal minger, Chappel Roan.
This harridan is now catching up with Taylor Swift where coverage is concerned.
At least Swift is nice to look at. Roan is just a Third Division Kate Bush and Tori Amos impersonator. Only less talented and much uglier.
15
What worries me about the Mail is that this weekend it started a new series of “health tips” from the late Dr, Michael Mosley, speaking from beyond the grave. I would hesitate before taking health advice from a deceased doctor, who, on a hot day in June in Greece went for an afternoon walk up a mountain when he had complained of feeling unwell.
15
The DM stories about the height of the neighbours hedge make my day. Just behind that are citizens who block the ‘school run mums’ (fat slags) from parking outside their exclusive gentleman’s ply-wood lean-to (worth 35K).
HEADLINES!
10
MCG Here is a classic for you – from today:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13955571/Neighbours-locked-bitter-battle-tallest-house-Millionaires-Row-couple-seeks-rebuild-mansion-INCHES-taller-door.html
4
Now that is amusing, Little England indeed.
5
This festering rag did put a couple of blips on It’s attached heart monitor back in silly lockdown time by publishing a couple of stories against the narrative. But it’s definitely looking deceased now.
8
Best headline I’ve ever seen, was in a local Republic of Ireland newspaper. ‘Cork man drowns’.
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The local papers always seem to have the most baleful headlines. One years ago I remember was “STRIP CLUB SHOCK – MAGISTRATES TO ACT ON INDECENT SHOWS”. That newspaper (in London) had their own version of The Express and their obsession with Prince Harry Hewitt – their’s was “The Sauna Of Shame”
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That’s absolutely magnificent, Bob.
Thank you.
1
Once saw a front page headline in a local Florida rag when I was there. ‘Dunkin’ Donuts was closed yesterday’.
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I stopped reading newspapers a few years ago. Those if you who do would be wise to get as much in as possible before they start printing them in Arabic or some incomprehensible African muttering and screeching.
4
Well this will be a popular view…
The Daily Mail has actually been doing some solid reporting here in the States…especially with regard to Cacklin’ Kami Harris and her husband Douchebag Dougie Emhoff.
I’ve posted their background story about Ole’ Flatback and her career as a political concubine twice here on IsaC and now they’ve uncovered some damaging allegations against her (allegedly) abusive and misogynistic husband.
Maybe there’s a difference between The Mail in the UK and The Mail here in the States.
And then maybe there isn’t. Maybe they have a conservative bias or maybe as my Grandma used to say; even a blind chicken occasionally picks up a kernel of corn.
6
I just had a look at the US version of the Mail and can confirm that it seems to contain actual news.
That and your pointless celeb bints have much better tits than ours.
2
There’s also that annoying Shopping section – ‘Shoppers are rushing to buy..’
Plus a dedicated Royals section where they still call her Kate Middleton, ffs!
4
p.s. just read this article in the Royal section about Princess Eugenie looking ‘as chic as ever’. Never with that face!
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-13942875/Princess-Eugenie-Frieze-Art-Fair-London.html
2
A song for Eugenie…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzYzVMcgWhg
4
Cruel, accurate but cruel, Norman.
People can’t help their looks, but the can afford plastic surgery.
2
🤣
3
Although small consolation, at least she hasn’t got a face like her finger just went through the bog paper. Like her sister.
3
Eugenie could at least get a new set of gnashers. The ones she has got look like they’ve been borrowed from Shergar.
2
That grinds my gears, too.
Catherine, Princess of Wales has been married to Baldboy for how long?
So disrespectful.
4
And yet they don’t call that woman ‘Markle’, do they?
No, they crawl around her ‘black’ arse.
1
And just watch if Kamala Knickerless gets the White House gig.
The Fail, the BBC and the like refrerred to Big Don as simply ‘Trump’. Even when he was President.
But for her it will be ‘President Harris’ this and ‘Mrs Harris, President of the Unted Staes’ that. I guarantee it. Cause she woman and she ‘black’.
2
The Fail and all the others are full of this ‘news’ about some fat bastard on Strictly Come Mincing. How he’s ‘heartbroken’ about being caught goosing some woman, and how it was a ‘private joke’ that went wrong. Yeah right.
How this cack and these nobodies are seen as news, I will never know. Heartbroken? Do fuck off.
5
In response to Bob Frapple’s 12:41 ‘Cork Man’ post, but not going to bury my own addition in a ten-hours-old slot …
Fortean Times used keep tabs on odd headlines over the decades .. and I kept tabs on their lists.
Favourites included :
‘NYC feminists convention this weekend to discuss broad agenda’
‘Paratroopers turn back in mid air as Haiti deal is struck’
‘Briton gored by bull in intensive care’
Drug dealers ‘dealt heavy blow’, say police
‘Bulge in man’s pants was ecstasy, says WPC’
‘Judges pledge to murder witnesses’
‘Man vanishes while driving’
‘Months to wait for mouldy flat family’
‘Diet of premature babies may affect I.Q.’
‘Vagina massage man gets thumbs up’
Typing those brought to mind the time Viz published an open letter to Ronan Keating, pleading with him to do something rude or nasty as they had been sitting on the headline pun “Ronan the Barbarian” for years.
And recalling THAT brought to mind Viz’s Beatles-failed-assassination headline ..
“Top mop-top pot-shot plot flops”.
More imagination in any single part of the above, than in a month’s worth of mailonline drivel…
3
You win the Interweb.
1
With other people’s (old) material, though but!
Still ; In my best Tony Stark voice ..
I AM Vagina Massage Man 👍👍
0
Or the other Iron Man voice.
The one off Sabbath’s ‘Paranoid’ album.
0
Vile “newspaper”.Burn the lot 🔥🔥🔥
0