So this is more climate change bollocks Jeezum?, C.A.
Actually, that’s a headline I made up, so don’t panic just yet.
However, this news item seems to indicate that, due to a poor hop harvest, there may be a shortage of ale, folks.
It’s all due to climate change, naturally.
Stock up now, Lidl/Aldi do decent beverages at reasonable prices, maybe buy the Missus a bottle of Country Cream, too.
Fuck em all.
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
Try Lucozade instead (the original variety, of course). Much better for you. Beer is over-rated, after all, Starmer drinks it, so it will start to be known as a tarts drink, like port and lemon. Good morning.
9
fuck em switch to cider.
11
in a major tragedy last evening my eldest dropped a nice German beer onto the kitchen floor where it exploded..
Although grief stricken I suppose it was climate change that caused it.
Good morning.
11
It could have been Brexit or institutional racism. Given that the Germans have previous form for that.
12
Climate change caused the price of my dog food to go from £2.5 to £8.00 in 6 months.
3
I do feel your pain and your sad loss as well. Condolences from cunty towers.
I nearly had the same misfortune, in my case it was a Belgian beer. Luckily my foot broke the fall so tragedy was averted.
3
I know some local Romanian gippos who make their own shite – puts hair on your balls I’m told.
7
It’s why you see all these “gas explosions” in shitty parts of the country.
5
Seeing as I drink only the finest soy pumpkin lattes made by proper baristas trained to the highest standards industry can provide ☕ you can stick all your hops up Greta’s fudge packet….beers never been the same anyway since the demise of the king of beers the one and only party 7 🎉🎈…roll out the barrel, we’ll have a barrel of puke 😩🤣
10
Ciderman, Ciderman,………….
https://youtu.be/-1jllW8cT9Y?feature=shared
4
All part of Sir Kweer’s master plan to make everyone else’s life a totally unlivable hell. Next it will be compulsory watching of fucking Netflix. Fuck him and the deputy he rode in on.
Good morning, everyone.
13
I don’t know how foreign piss like Foster’s ever caught on in the UK.
If you don’t like warm beer with all sorts of stuff floating around in it (I don’t) then cider is the way to go.
Fuck all the daft foreign lagers, especially the ones that you have to stick a bit of lemon in the bottle for taste.
Your country is awash with apples.
Drink cider!
13
An Australian I once worked with told me that Fosters was the only beer he would drink because – I quote “English beer is flatter than a witches tit”
Every beer seems too gassy to me. I would have hated being in that little “Beergate” room – imagine being behind Kweer after the beer and curry if he farted.
7
It’s all marketing. i think that Madri is Bud Light – give it a Spanish connotation and it will sell.
2
Nah not Bud light, it’s made by Molson Coors in Burton where Carling is made so it’s likely a slightly tweaked Carling.
3
Got bollocksed on it 44 years ago when I was 13. Even the smell of it still makes me want to spew my ring.
3
Make that the new 2/3 of a pint measure then. & at the price of a pint. Cunts!
10
I am afraid that this Nom, together with the header pic, has got me all ‘hopping mad!’
7
Me too, I can barley contain my anger 😠
7
Wheat a minute, somethings brewing…
8
When cunts who are flying private jets all over the world to talk about new ways of screwing up to counter climate change start using video conferences instead I’ll start believing it.
I guess when you only drink vintage wines and champagne this isn’t a concern for another 25 years or so.
8
This shouldn’t be a problem, when the Muslims take over it will be banned
Goats piss will be the drink of choice.
13
Many lagers already qualify.
8
Carlsberg, probably the best goats piss in the world
4
I read the insert as far as the part about the ‘flavour profile’ of beer. They’re the first words that come to mind when I’m standing at the bar in a pub that I’ve never been to before. ‘Landlord, would you please give me a snapshot of the flavour profiles of your fine craft ales?’. ‘Fuck off, wanker’, is the usual response. Meanwhile other cunts just ask about the taste and get served first.
11
Beer is under threat from all angles. Alcohol content is dropping, rationing is looming. This calls for a new superhero to save our ale. A booze protector with a full array of special drink saving powers. Pissheado Man, now is your time.
12
The Brown Bottle from Viz fits the bill surely? “Arrgh…Fuggit…yer me best mate etc etc”
3
And let’s not forget ‘8 Ace.’ 😂
4
Ch ch cheers pal ya fucker!
1
Nearly all so called foreign lagers are brewed in the UK, it’s a fucking disgrace. The ads make you believe it’s from old uncle Pedro’s traditional brewery in Seville but it’s actually brewed in Wolverhampton, Stoke or Edinburgh using our shite hard water. Estrella and Peroni are the only ones I can find that have actually been imported. I don’t know how they get away with it. Cunts!
6
None of that strange hard chalky stuff you call water in Edinburgh.
No big breweries left now either, Heineken closed the last big one and sold the land off with the beers that were made there now brewed at Belhaven in Dunbar
Some Scottish sounding stuff like McEwans champion is brewed By Carlsberg Marstons in Wolverhampton.
3
I don’t know if you get all the Estrella beers in the UK Dave.
Estrella Damm and Estrella de Galicia are not very nice.
Estrella Lavante is the one to head for.
2
Its corporation pop for me. Might as well drink it, seeing that we’re paying through the nose for it.
6
The lack of hops isn’t going to change the Nation’s favourite tipple as it is made from ethanol, colorings, beer flavouring and then fed through a soda stream.
Stella, internationally know as ‘wifebeater’ will continue to fuel Friday night paggas up and down the land. Instigated by very thirsty shaven headed men with a British bulldog tattoo, a love of mindless violence and the ability to kick off with anything that casts a shadow.
A pint and a fight. A Great British night.
Long may it continue.
6
All correct but minus the tat.
3
Remember when we were told, about a decade ago, that by 2030 it would be hot enough for olive groves, lemon trees and vineyards in Yorkshire?
Now, with about five years for that prediction to be proven utter bollox, the climate evangelists have changed tack to suggest it’ll be too wet.
Seems you can make the weather fit a crisis, or vice verse, with simplistic ease.
Don’t believe a word the cunts say.
10
Apparently we have just had the hottest year on record.
Considering it rained non stop for all of March, April, May and then again for all of September, with a summer high of 30 degrees for one poxy day,
I would venture that the climate change wankers are talking out of their collective arses
11
Bring back keg – fucking CAMRA twats. Now every pub has over-hopped piss masquerading as IPA. Any why can’t you get mild anywhere south of Coventry. The industrial revolution was built on coal and mild – oh, hang on a mo…….
9
Over hopped crap on cask is just a sign you are in the wrong pub.
3
So right your Lordship. A damn good stout, porter or ESB, preferably in excess of 5% (9% for the stout)
The craft beer market has flooded with over hopped and over carbonated IPA’s. Golden in colour and designed for lager drinkers as they are almost a hybrid lager/IPA.
The plus point of craft beer is there are some cracking imperial stouts, though the supermarkets rarely stock them.
0
I’m not worried by their headless chicken bullshit.
Men have drunk beer for thousands of years.
Few communists can’t halt human nature.
I’m not arsed if it effects lager.
Lagers for fuckin peasants .
But a draught pint of bitter?
Timeless.
7
Ps
There’s a lad grows hops on the allotment.
His seem fine?
Ever seen em?
They have big tendrils that if you touch em are like sand paper .
Brush against it you’ll have road rash on your belly.
Hops are hard as fuck.
5
Ps
They’re bullshitters.
Bunch of malter mittys.
4
Malter Mitty, comedy!
2
Is the Country Cream one brewed by MNC?
4
Stasi Starmer and his knickerless deputy can jump off a cliff.Boring bellends.
3
I could always grow potatoes and make something akin to Vodka. Apples don’t seem effected by this Climate Change wang, so there will be plenty of cider.
Heard Labour want to make pints smaller. I bet you’ll still be able to buy 2 halves.
2
affected, dummy
1
Alcohol and pork is being removed from the UK folks.
1