People Who Ask For a Thump

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We’ve all come across them, people who will never win medals for tact or diplomacy, who are so determined to be disagreeable it’s as though they’re intentionally inviting physical violence. I was never a bovver boy, I avoided confrontations, there was only one individual who made me lash out, and that was with the flat of my hand, not with my fist.

I was about fifteen and the boys in my area used to meet at the local football pitch which had goal posts. We’d have a game then hang around and talk before going home. Some boys would show up but didn’t take part, they’d just stand on the sideline and watch. One of these was a real miserable twat, he never laughed, never smiled, I didn’t know his name or where he lived but it was obvious he had an enormous chip on his shoulder. The only time he opened his mouth was to call somebody, it wasn’t banter, he was deadly serious. He wasn’t big or tough and he looked no different to anyone else, but he had an attitude problem second to none.

One day we’d had a game, we were all stood talking afterwards and he decided to start on me. He had the usual scornful expression on his face, I don’t remember what he was saying but it wasn’t flattering. I’d already decided what I’d do if this happened. I took two steps toward him and slapped him as hard as I could on his chest. He tottered backwards and fell over on his arse. His face was a picture, he looked totally amazed. No-one said anything, they probably thought ‘asked for and got’.

He didn’t show up for two or three weeks after, then one day there he was again. We were all stood talking as usual , he was looking at me with that expression and I could see he was just itching to say something. I looked back at him and he decided to keep quiet. If he’d opened his mouth to me again I’d have thumped him in the guts, but he thought better of it.

That was the last time I ever saw him, but I’ve wondered a few times what happened to him. I’d be quite surprised if he were still alive. No-one goes through life unscathed with an attitude like his. I’ve wondered what happened when he started going into places where men drank beer. He wouldn’t have been able to restrain himself, the urge to verbally offend someone was ingrained in him, it was too powerful for him to resist. It would only have been a matter of time before he ended up on the tap room floor.

https://explorable.com/e/recognizing-low-self-esteem

Nominated by : Allan

48 thoughts on “People Who Ask For a Thump”

  1. We’ve all met them, I’ve worked with two or three over the years.

    In my experience I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who was actively, consciously trying to be nasty, they were just disagreeable by nature.

    Cunts all the same, and to be avoided wherever possible.

    Morning all.

  2. Yes, interesting nomination, Allan.

    Seems to me there are at least 3 distinct types of cunt.

    1 – The cunt who probably knows they are a cunt but just keeps on being a cunt.
    Example: Jeremy Vine; like the cunt in your story above.

    2 – The cunt who does not know that they are a cunt (no self-awareness).
    Example: Tony Blair.

    3 – The cunt who probably knows they are a cunt, but is in denial.
    Example: Gary Lineker.

  3. On here Allan we just call them cunts. The link goes to psychobabble. Appropriate it sports the EU flag at the end.

    • One such was my first boss in my first job. In 2017 he topped himself. He fucked it up and took half an hour to expire. I opened a special bottle I was keeping to celebrate.

  4. The lads who excessively behaved in this manner when I was a kid (from memory) are either now dead, in and out of jail, or on heroin.

    There are always disagreeable cunts but some folk are just genuinely tapped in the head.

  5. I can remember some of the girls could be pretty nasty as well, the only issue here was that you could not hit them back.

  7. In this day and age the result would be knife in the guts

    Don’t ever ‘disrespect’ someone’s trainers on TikTok 😂

    The level we are at now is unbelievable

  8. Most of the dribbling druggies, piss-head alkies , and fatso mobility scooter riders that infest our high street are asking for a knuckle sandwich. Lazy, moaning, ‘world owes me a living’ twats Unfortunately our high street is pretty much the same as all others in our fucked up shit hole of a cuntry. Of course I am not being judgemental, I wouldn’t want to be confused with a member of “the far right”.

    Good afternoon, everyone.

  11. “I took two steps toward him and slapped him as hard as I could on his chest. ”

    Was that in a Dick Emery ‘Oooh, you are awful but I like you’ sort of slap ?

  12. Violence solves most things. There’s a lack of consequences for being a cunt these days so more people feel at liberty to be a cunt. When I was growing up being a cunt inevitably ended up with some free education with someone’s fists.

    • Sorry SDV, wrong thread.

      You point stands. I was educated likewise and thus we learned not to be cunts. Most of the time.

  13. I succeeded in making the thugs laugh and made the fucking idiots think I was on their side.

  14. Most of the people of Oxford need a fucking good slap and the city itself needs to be bitch slapped with a few megatons to render it cunt free.

    The most memorable slap during my time working there was administered by our ex forces health and safety bloke when he caught one of the local junkies pissing up the war memorial on the high street. A warning was issued, backchat was received and this resulted in the scaghead getting the hiding of his life.

    We know it was a comprehensive slapping because the worthless lowlife proceeded to piss and shit himself while laid out on the deck.

    That was actually the highlight of working in Oxford.

    • Good! It sounds like the disrespectful Cunt more than deserved it
      I have no military connection as far as I’m aware but I got no time for scum who don’t respect this country and it’s fallen heroes.

  15. Debate solves nothing.
    Turning the cheeks for hippies.

    Violence works 👍

    I remember being about 14/15.
    Load of us hanging about outside a tower block.
    It had what optimistically could be called a play area but was really just concrete sewage pipes in a circle.

    One lad picked up this big piece of wood and threw it.
    💥CRASH!!!

    Straight through a window of a fire door.

    The glass had barely tinkled to the ground when this bloke ran out of the houses behind us and did a perfect flying headbutt knocking this kid spark out.😂

    It massively impressed me.
    Nowadays a grown man knocking out a school boy would be frowned on.
    But I think it was just then and still do now.

    We all scattered the bloke was looking to give us all a taste.

    No takers though 😁

  16. “Nowadays a grown man knocking out a school boy would be frowned on”

    Not in Pooter land it isn’t, positively encouraged in fact, the grotesque little fuckwits need it.

  17. Two prime examples of those needing a good twatting:

    Mizzie – the prankster cunt
    So called ‘Auditors’ – those cunts who go around with their bodycams trying to provoke confrontations with police or security guards, the most notorious being Nigel Dicks aka DJ Audits.

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