The Standing Charge [2]

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Gas and electricity standing charges to increase.
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Why? Because the cunts that run these companies wanted to increase the unit price, but someone said don’t, put the standing charges up instead, so we can syphon off the extra income.

It’s nothing to do with the war between Russia and Ukraine, that’s a convenient contrivance.

It’s all about money, at the end of the day.
I’ve used no gas at all, but still been charged 29.49p for the fucking privilege.

Got to be fair, my dual fuel company haven’t increased their SC rates.

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

Additional News Link Provided by: PT Admin

105 thoughts on “The Standing Charge [2]”

  1. Did I read that the cheeky cunts at Ofgen dump the cost of the energy companies that failed when the govt fucked the economy onto the standing charge?

    Nice easy option,like green levies and all the other shit they can’t be arsed working out how to fund via the vast profits of the energy companies,who mustn’t be upset at any price.

    Another windbag committee of failed condescending gravy train cunts.

    Ace.

    • Some of the increase is indeed to cover the cost of the failed cowboy outfits who flooded the market with cheap deals assuming wholesale costs would remain stable… Ooops.

      In the end only the real companies survived.

    • Ofgem are a bunch of old school tie cunts.
      The CEOs of energy companies should be jailed for collusion after artificially fixing prices, but Ofgem turn a blind eye.
      I have to assume Ofgem are “well paid” and see no wrongdoing.
      Shareholders expecting to get paid, even when the company is bankrupt, which means the taxpayer again.
      Instead, the government should take back control for £0, which is what I got paid when the gas and electricity was stolen and sold off to those that could afford it.

      • So what is the standing charge for? :
        Well sir it’s just an additional cost added to your fuel bill:
        So what is the charge for exactly?:
        Well sir it’s for exactly fuck all other than the fact that we can charge you for nowt.
        I hope that answers your question, goodbye

      • Supposedly, TCiS, it’s for the upkeep of the gas and electricity networks, to maintain connections to your premises.

        I wonder if we can get compensation, if there’s a power cut?

    • It seems criminality is now the pre requisite for a) A Member of Parliament. b) CEO of Utilities et al..
      Let us pray that our genuine socialist government turn the tables on the Globalist Cabal, and finally sort this country out…..I do jest of course.

  2. Standing charges.. we screw that I’m sitting..

    Still once bacon boy millipede has shut everything down. Stock up on newspaper to stuff your clothes with..

    Or if labour is still In charge come winter. “not looking likely” go round to mr eds and keep warm kicking him to fuck..

  3. Be happy, you are paying more now to get cheaper energy in the future, well the fantasy future as portrayed by the net zero mob.

  4. Standing Charges. – I thought Starmer had introduced a new tax for those who don’t like to sit down all day.

  5. Soon be paying £700 a year in standing charges alone, probably near a grand including water.

    Pay more for less is the definition of this country now.

    • The water is another fucking joke.
      I have to pay to have rainwater drained off my roof?
      Well leave it where it is then you thieving cunts.

      • Because if your house wasn’t there no rain would fall onto that plot of land ever?

      • Collection barrels, use it to flush the loo, water the plants, wash your car, etc.

        If it doesn’t go through the water meter, it doesn’t exist.

  6. Time we had another referendum.

    This time to see whether the British people are keen on a return to the Dark Ages or not.

    Instead of forcing it on us by stealth.

  7. Energy companies are cheeky cunts alright. But then, they are aided and abetted by the government via those despicable vermin at Ofgem.
    ‘We need to raise the price cap so that energy providers don’t go bust’
    Fucking let them, the filthy little chancers.
    If they can’t ride the waves of wholesale price fluctuations they should be allowed to sink.
    My energy provider is currently badgering me to go on a fixed price deal before October, at an increased price of course.
    If they can afford to fix a price lower than a prospective price cap rise, why can’t they just accept no rise at all?
    They’re playing fucking games and our cunt governments gladly let them.
    Who’d have thought we’d have a ‘Labour’ government more than happy to fuck over its citizens with the supply of essentials.
    Attlee must be spinning in his grave.

  8. They still need to make money even when there’s no electricity available for the consumer. Which will happen very, very quickly. Of course, it’s only us plebs that will have to do without, the rich will have solar powered (diesel) generators, all paid for on expenses, by us.

  9. It is a wonder other companies haven’t cottoned on to the standing charge wheeze. ‘Oh yes. madam, Tesco can provide you with groceries, but you will need one of our approved kitchen cupboards fitted to store them, and there will be a small standing charge. Of course you can have bread included if you have a special bread bin fitted. One of our qualified cupboard engineers will pop round once a year and provide the necessary certification for continued use.’

    Sir Two-Tier could introduce a new utility tax on anyhting that has a practical purpose. Spades, spoons, cups, shooting sticks, and so on. The possibilities would be virtually endless. One thing is for sure, under such a regime almost nobody would be able to afford a foundue set. I think I will give the new Chancellor a call. She seems a sensible woman.

  10. I’d hate to be around when JP opens his monthly energy bills.

    That wail of anguish

    ” Whyyyy? Oh my days, why?”

    Break my fuckin heart.

    Bet it takes two blokes in the post office to prize open his hand when paying.

    • I pay by Direct Debit, thank you, although it does grieve me greatly.

      Last week, total gas used – 18p, total SC – £2.06p

      I don’t know what the solution is, but I do know it’s fucking ridiculous to be paying more in charges than you are in actual energy used.

      Maybe there should be a sliding scale, depending on your consumption, with households who use extra for health conditions being on a low, fixed rate.

      I hope some genius works it out, and soon.

      • My work premise water bill is approx £25 a month water used kettle filled once a week bog flushed once a week. Electric approx £30 a month I go in once a week to check everything is ok so a bit of lighting and boil the kettle.
        35 year business destroyed by convid. Property better than money in the bank.

    • He would be more convincing if he washed the pàķi jizx out of his teddy boy quiff.

      • Do hotels only pay one standing charge?

        What about Sandringham, eh?
        Do they pay £2.10p a week for their gas SC?

        What about other mansions?

        Enquiring minds would like to know.

    • So he’s going to make the thugs in uniform who arrested, with predudice, innocent bystanders, eh? Just so they had an excuse to withdraw from the front line with their ” violent” arrestees?

      Nowt to do with the fact that they were cacking their pants and wanted an excuse to go back to mummy, sorry I meant the safety of the police station, then.

      Our police farce, not fit for purpose.

  13. Wait until millipede really gets going, the multimillionaire adenoids gargoyle needs immolating.

    • Well, I’ve got thermal long John’s and long sleeved thermal shirts, I just layer in winter, ordinary underwear, thermals, fleece-lined joggers, fleece jumper, thermal socks, blanket, dog.
      Sometimes the cat joins in.

      All set!

  15. Appeasing his voter base, despite the fact the fact they’ll abandon labour for their own burgeoning sectarian party in the not too distant future.

    Porridge-faced puppet 👹

  16. OT, but I must just praise Ron Knee for a recent nomination [song lyrics] + associated links. One of the best I`ve ever read. I`m already a-throb with anticipation for its publication, ibid. I`ll get back to my candle now.

      • Evening Jeezum 👍
        Can you enlighten me as to what a “Welcome Personal Trainer Admin” is?
        Sorry to hear about your finger.
        Cuts can be a bitch.

      • Please don’t attribute ” Welcome, Personal Trainer Admin”
        to me.

        That’s the unlovely Opinionated Cunts contribution to this nom.

      • I didn’t attribute it to you, JP.
        My reply at 5:57pm was for OC.
        You then replied to my post with “Fucks sake!”
        Which I took to be a rebuke for my ignorance.
        Okay? 🙂

      • Ah!
        Apologies. The Fucks sake was for OC and not intended for your good self.

        It’s so easy to get at cross purposes, and I’m glad you took the time to clear that up.

        All the best.

      • Does anyone out there know what a “Welcome Personal Trainer Admin” is?

      • Minge.

        I took P/T Admin to mean part time, and have no clue why anyone, no matter how deranged they may be, would think P/T means personal trainer.

        I can only conclude that it’s some kind of insult, or deragatory thing aimed at PT Admin, for reasons unknown to us.

        Hopefully, we will be enlightened.

        Good Evening all.

        Much intrigue abounds, but I can reveal that PT Admin does in fact stand by Part Time Admin. We are operating on a skeleton crew here in Admin Mansions. So when we get a little behind, PT Admin rocks up and helps out. Mystery solved. Carry on – NA.

      • Phew, thank goodness for that!
        I was beginning to think I had become,
        In the immortal words of Mark E. Smith,
        “Positively deranged.”

        * From the track “Kurious Oranj”, for all you trainspotters out there.
        (Just had it on the CD player)

      • Yes JP, it was a little fun at the admin’s expense. P/T is not infrequently used as an acronym for Personal Trainer.

      • I thought it was Perky Tits.

        Perky Tits Admin !

        Horn inducing authoritarian totty !!

        Oh yeah 👍👍😃

      • No offence intended team – I only meant it as a little light fun in what are increasingly dark times. I hope it was taken in that spirit.

      • Admin team that should’ve read. The joys of having a broken phone screen ffs.

      • JP, it was intended as a harmless joke. I’m sorry if it came off as offensive.

  18. O/T.
    Just sliced my finger open carving the pork for the hog roast baps.
    Fucking thing won’t stop bleeding, well I do take blood thinners, so any cut is a bastard

    Short of putting cobwebs on it, any advice.
    Really don’t want to spend 8 hours at A&E, just for a stich ( or a fucking tetanus jab)

    • Pressure on the vein in your upper arm til it actuslly hurts, JP, and raise the arm higher than your ticker, whether standing or lying down. Opened my finger to the none eith a carver 30 years ago. Old man(a butcher) did what I described there.

    • superglue works very well and also forms a decent barrier whilst it heals.

      Good health sir.

      • MEDIC!!! MEDIC!!
        Someone run an get DCI.

        He’ll be parked up somewhere doing a sudoku

      • Keep wrapping toilet paper round your finger till the blood stops seeping through. Hold it steady for a few minutes to make sure you’ve stemmed the flow, then apply a length of sellotape round the resultant toilet paper bandage to hold it in place. Leave for a couple of hours then remove carefully, and Bob should be your uncle.

    • Slow your heartbeat down . Starmer must be on tv , watch that boring cunt and your slip into a coma..

  19. Bone, not none, but anyways hopefully the reduced flow allows the clotting to begin. If a donkey or goat (both haemophiliac breeds)nicks a hoof, y’put that hoof in a pile of flour, .. I’ve seen that save the day in bad bleeds before too …

  20. You there JP, old boy, .. or do we have to get the gofundme & balloon purchasing underway?

    • All OK, I’m fine.

      A bowl of ice on the coffee table, me on the floor, hand in ice.

      Currently got some wadding and tight pressure wrap stuff ( it’s blue, not sticky, can’t remember what it’s called)
      But it’s worked.

      Thanks all, I can’t afford to lose blood. I’m little enough already and getting smaller by the day.

      • This is like a michael burke 999 special .

        Far right supporter JP has been threatening a pineapple with a knife..
        His flamboyant knife action has opened a wound on his finger.

        On call emergency services led by DCI gene hunt says fuck him, he never voted for me in COTY. He picked that Stockport removal man mis.. I’m on a break..

        Tune in next week for the outcome..

  21. Thank you, all, for your helpful blood steming tips.

    Raising the limb after packing the finger with wadding and wrapping it tightly did the job.

    I’ve always been a bit of a bleeder, dunno why.

    • Stand on your head to confuse the flow of blood JP.

      Then get someone to scare you.

      Although that might be hiccups?

      Dunno I was kicked out of the medical fraternity for malpractice

  22. Another thing, which I have cunted some time ago, and was posted.

    Once upon a time, if your utility bill was over one payment in credit, your provider had to refund the credit.
    You didn’t have to ask for it back.

    These days, you have to request a refund of an overpayment. Even then, there’s foot dragging, are you sure? , Winter will be here soon, higher bills, etc.

    Like a lot of older people I have a pathological fear of being in debt. So my fuel account is in healthy credit.

    Fuel companies love this, as it allows them to use your money to offset bad debt, increasing the “apparent” profitability of the company, and therefore the shareholders bonus, not to mention the CEOs.

    • To add to this, if you are in credit, you are effectively giving your energy supplier an interest free loan.

      Withdraw your credit, now.
      Pay your bill, in full, as and when it comes in.

      Don’t be an inadvertent banker for your energy supplier. They don’t thank you for it.

  23. O/T.
    Just a thought, aren’t a lot of these ” right wing thugs” the very people that are earmarked for national service..

    Probably won’t be classed as thugs when they have a British army uniform on and they are fighting the Muslim….!

    Starmer creature won’t be threatening the white working class then, will he..?

    • There’s a fine line, Arch, between ” thug” and soldier, which you have just pointed out.

    • Wonder if Starmer ever sneaks a good old look at Rayner’s arse when she’s stood at the despatch box?
      I bloody would.

    • Maybe he’ll use the army of fighting age men from abroad that are currently stationed here.

      If Starmer sends out me youth to fight it won’t be against Muslims.

      • Do you know, Six, the first sentence there made me cheer!

        Not quite sure where you’re going after that?

    • Anyone remember this old spoof army recruitment poster from the 1970s?

      “Join the Army; travel to exotic, distant lands; meet exciting, unusual people and kill them.”

      Nowadays it would read: “Travel to the UK; join the Army; meet the white indigenous people and kill them.”

  24. For BBC “counter protest” , in Bolton read ..Paki’s

    Still, you can watch the BBC for all the twats running around and jumping in Paris to distract you from the shithole that GB has become..

    A few gold medals will fix everything…!

    What GB needs is a gold medal in repatriating immigrant filth….!

    • It’s more certain groups than it is immigrants in general tbh. I know plenty of them who work hard, contribute and pay taxes.

  26. Standing charges = Rip off Britain as usual.

    Can you imagine a doorman at Tesco ?
    ” 5 quid to enter the shop. Up to you if you want to spend more buying groceries. Standing charge mate, we have to keep the shop open whether you come here or not ”

    Don’t even get me started on water companies. Putting up customer charges to cover the 50% of water pissed away because their pipes are like collanders.
    Nice earner if you’re a shareholder – even better if you’re a CEO , Big bonus for doing fuck all

  27. Standing charges should be abolished. I didn’t ask them to put a meter in, they did it to clock how much I use, so why should I have to pay for them monitoring my usage. If I go into a petrol station and put petrol in my car I don’t get a fuckin meter charge for using the pump.

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