People With Food Allergies

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To be clear: I absolutely empathise with anyone who has an allergic reaction to a particular food. Must be a right bummer.

However, my issue is when one of them, who has an allergy, then go on to buy a sandwich or order something off a menu and trust the proprietor to label it with the correct ingredients or supply adequate warnings.

BBC News

If I had a condition whereby a humble peanut could kill be outright within a few minutes, I wouldn`t trust a single cunt in the food business. They couldn`t give a shit.

Also, when these cunts travel on an aeroplane or train and enforce a comestible security zone around themselves so others are unable to enjoy a salty treat are also utter twats. Stay at home and make your own fucking sandwiches, you selfish CUNT!

Nominated by: Sam Beau

59 thoughts on “People With Food Allergies”

  2. I’m allergic to vegans, when they start talking my eyes glaze over and I get really sleepy.
    There is a cure for it though.. bacon and lots of it..

  3. I think that food allergies are extremely rare.

    Unfortunately, cunts wanting attention are not.

  5. You just know the Professional allergy attention-seeker is just waiting to pounce on any restaurant, fast-food joint or sarnie shop, just so that they can make a big fuss in front of everyone and saying that they may die, all the while filming themselves for the glory of Facebook or YouTube likes.

    • I know exactly the type you describe.

      I was on vacation eating a a moderately upscale restaurant and the bitch seated next us started in with the waiter…

      “I’m allergic to nuts, soy, dairy and shellfish. I can’t have gluten. I don’t eat meat or anything deep fried. So, what can I get?”

      My answer would have been…the fuck out!

      • A life, would be my answer general.

        You get one go on this world,fuck I’m probably allergic to loads of foods..
        Not tried anything that’s killed me yet..

        Though it was close with Turkish delight..

  6. I think that in countries where there isn’t a lot of food, allergies are extremely rare.

    I have also noticed that nobody has an allergy to anything served in McDonald’s.

    • The fries served up there are hideously unhealthy.Made with a certain spud that gets sprayed with a spcific chemical that requires its farmers to stay away from the fields for around 3 days before harvesting.

      Needless to say they get fried in other health compromising cooking oils such as canola or rape-seed at the restaurants before offered to the punter.

      Unsurprisingly Bill Gates (Rockefeller bag man) is heavily involved with the process on his newly acquired acreages.Biggest shareholder of GM patents with Bayer/Monsanto into the bargain.

  7. A thoroughly righteous Cunting.

    While these cunts are at home eating alfalfa sprout sandwiches on quinoa bread with a side of watercress and washing it down with organic prune juice, I’m globbing half a jar of peanut butter on whole wheat bread for my sandwich and washing it down with a glass of whole milk.

    Choke on that motherfuckers!

    • I deeply sympathise with those who have a genuine allegy, which can be a pain in the arse. About 25 yrs ago, the wife become progressively ill, to the point of admission to hospital. After a battery of tests, they found that she had coeliac disease; her body can’t process gluten. Later out GP told us that she feared the wife had stomach cancer, that’s how bad it was.

      She’s fine, but has no time for what she calls ‘food faddies’, those showy cunts who want to know where this or that’s sourced, won’t eat dairy, blah de blah

      • Modern bread isn’t the same as from say a century ago.They extensively altered the genetic structures at kernel levels to create the crap now wreaking havoc to many digestive systems at large.Even ‘brown’ loaves are mostly dyed although hovis is the only one i enjoy due to the flavour.l doubt this is a natural variant.

  8. Virtually all the cunts are allergic to fuck all but addicted to attention seeking. Better off out of the gene pool anyway so slip em a fucking peanut.

  9. It’s Darwinian Selection.

    “Cressidia knew she had a nut allergy that would kill her stone dead in a minute flat but she trusted the butty shop to sell her a factory made sandwich with loads of writing on the box,so we were moderately surprised when she subsequently choked to death there and then”..

    The expensive coroner’s enquiry found that she was Thick as Shit.

    Good morning Gentlemen.

  10. When sat on a plane before takeoff:

    “We have a person on board with a nut allergy, so would everyone refrain from eating nuts or products with nuts in while on board”.

    You just know the special cunt is sat there with a big smug grin because they’ve ruined everyone else’s enjoyment.

    • They can fuck off. What would cabin crew say if I told them I’m allergic to cunts with backpacks so any pakis have to get off now?

  11. This is outrageous! I love getting my nuts out on a train! Makes the journey bearable. Must be a lot of people with nut allergies though, every cunt moves away once they’re out…..

    • Your pecaned my interest, do you charge cash-ew for a look? Do people pine for them when you put them away.

      • No charge for looking but if they want a nibble. Had a bit of trouble with the police once but once they saw they weren’t Brazil nuts they put their guns away.

  12. Never had food allergies when I was a kid, the food in one dustbin was the same as all the others.

  13. I worked in a factory which produced cakes and fruit bars that had separate areas for products with allergens like peanuts, dairy and chocolate. You had to wear a colour-coded white coat depending on which section you were working that day, you couldn’t go into another section, you had to put your work shoes, white coat, hair net and beard snood on in a particular order and wash your hands at regular intervals and even had to do take off all that stuff just to go to the toilet or break.

    Also at regular intervals, everybody would have to stop work and do a full clean down of the machines with certain detergents based on the ingredients used and also use colour-coded cleaning equipment based on what ingredients were used in that section so as to avoid cross-contamination. That company at least were very, very thorough.

    Hyper awareness and vigilance is one thing, but if an allergic person can’t trust what’s on the ingredients and has to abstain from processed foods for that reason, then that person will have to buy only fresh ingredients and grow the seasoning themselves so as to be 100% sure of zero contamination. Seems a bit too much to ask somebody whose already been hugely inconvenienced by their cunt-of-an-immune system.

    The fact is that laws and regulations are in place to force food companies to comply through inspections and fines in cases of non-compliance. I think their professionalism can be reasonably assumed as huge fines affect their bottom line.

    I actually trust food companies more than my own Mother. Last weekend she made me a casserole and the next day I was shitting through the eye of a needle so text her asking if she could double-check all the ingredients she used for any instances of gluten. The phone conversation after she checked all the packaging went like this:

    Me – So did any of the ingredients contain gluten?
    Mum – No, there was no wheat in any of them.
    Me – Okay that’s great, but what about Barley or Rye?
    Mum – Oh bugger, there are about 3 instances of Barley.
    Me – BINGO!

    It doesn’t matter how many times I say “wheat, barley and rye”, all she ever hears is wheat. She’s under no obligation to know or remember what does and doesn’t contain gluten because there are no financial penalties for her; just gastro-intestinal and lymphatic penalties for me

    • The attitude to food allergies has changed.

      In the 70s you could buy little bags of peanuts or prawns in joke shops to prank the unwary.

      Watch Bob from the warehouse face swell up at the works Christmas do,
      And everyone would roar with laughter,
      Well, maybe not Bob.

      Nowadays it’s to indulgent.
      Warnings on packaging etc
      Takes the fun out of it.

      For me anyway.

      I’m not allergic to anything.

      • That reminds me of ‘Itchy Coo’ itching powder. Marvellous it was. Just sprinkle a little down the back of the poor unsuspecting sod’s neck and he’d be scratching for the rest of the day.

        I presume it’s banned now. Fucking Nanny State.

      • Most Jokeshops nowadays Geordie,
        The laughter has stopped.

        Health and safety.

        Nowadays Jokeshops main customers aren’t small mischievous boys with pocket money,
        But the armed forces.

        Due to cutbacks we no longer drop napalm on insurgents like the Houtis.

        We drop sweets that turn your tongue blue and itching powder.

      • From what I understand, people with peanut allergies don’t just turn into the elephant man – the anaphylaxis can cause swelling of the airways causing them to close up. Bob probably wasn’t laughing because he couldn’t

      • Morning Sam,
        I suppose so,
        Cunts and shaving.

        But more a dislike than allergy?

        My head doesn’t swell up like John Merrick and don’t soil my undercrackers!

    • Agree….my granddaughter age 14 was recently diagnosed as Cole and what a crock of 💩…..the amount of rigmarole that you have to go through scanning ingredients is tiresome unless it’s emblazoned on the package that it’s gluten free….some restaurants are good at providing separate menus whereas most are totally oblivious to it …. of course if you are vegan or vegetarian which is just a lifestyle choice you’ll be well catered for, similarly in the supermarket the choice for gluten is minimal compared to the veganites….have you had your Weetabix yet! 😖

      • Yes exactly! I was considering doing a cunting just for the vegan sense of entitlement but you just nailed it.

        Coeliac Disease, Gluten Intolerance, Wheat Allergy = not a choice. Woefully catered to.

        Vegetarianism and veganism = a choice. Supermarkets bend over backwards to cater to the entitled, little cunts.

      • I’ve noticed that Sainsbury’s range of ‘free from’ seems to be increasing although choice is still pretty limited. it’s also fucking expensive.

    • @two

      One of the few sensible replies in a slew of selfish, flippant and ignorant nonsense.

  14. With the invention of those ‘ Epi pen’ things surely these allergic types can now enjoy Peanuts and prawns like normal people.

    And this thing about peanuts?
    Seems very specific?

    Try them with almonds or cashews.
    If ground into a fine powder I’m sure they won’t even know.

  15. I’m only allergic to foods that are misinterpreted, such as biscuits and we all know who is responsible for that don’t we. The cunts from across the pond that have the cheek to fuck up our language.

    • Gahd dammit Sammy, which branch of the US armed forces demolished your house by mistake?

      Not a fan of ‘slaw, chicken-fried waffles, sausage, gravy and ‘biscuits’, crackers, potato chips, tater tots, shrimp cocktail, cheez-whiz, foot longs and links, greens’ (which are usually boiled brown-grey), corndogs, cornbread, cunty-fried steak and a shake shack shake?

      Oo-rah! I wanna shoot my sister!

    • Even having to us biscuits to get round the internet, otherwise I’m unable to function without a single crumb passing my lips.

  16. I don’t seem to have any allergies to food but can empathise as i am allergic to penicillin and grass pollen.

    I know a young woman who told a waitress at a pub she was allergic to tomatoes. Her sandwich had a tomato in. It was sent back and then repappeared. The staff had just removed the tomato slice but the taint of the juice and seeds was still enough to set her off.

    Should the person with the allergy have to prepsre their own food rather than eating out or should businesses show a bit of care towards customers and avoid legal action?

    There are drastic consequences for businesses failing to observe requests on allergens and failing to print allergy advice.

    It’s a good idea these people with allergies have antihistamines/epi-pens on them out of general safety, but there is still far too much legal risk for businesses or staff to ignore allergies.

    As for peanuts on aircraft, a 3 minute google search will put any doubts or rumblings of ‘attention-seekung’ to bed.

    • Makes me wonder if many are just more allergic to the plethoras of noxious chemical infusions modern food is subjected to increasingly..Glysophates (Roundup) GM etc ?

      The penny seems to have dropped at large that Big-Pharma and Big-Farmer are essentially working as a mutual health (unhealth) tag-team profiteering project ?

    • She’s a bit of a gormo, but i’d sniff her arse crack if she was on the stairmaster.at the gym in her musky sheer leggings.

      sssnnnoorrkkk

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