Valeria Lukyanova – Desperate Barbie

I love a bit of weird and weirder, as you all know, from estate scum with strangely over tattooed faces, to people becoming Lassie, but this is a weirdo too far.

What on earth makes a perfectly lovely lass become so obsessed with the idea that a moulded piece of plastic is the ideal she must achieve?

Watch your kids carefully, this might be one of yours, heading for perdition.

Wiki Page

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

52 thoughts on “Valeria Lukyanova – Desperate Barbie

  1. Two questions is she anatomically correct?
    And also if I take her out of the box does her value drop?

  2. It looks like something Mulder and Scully used to investigate on the X Files.

    Some sort of human/alien hybrid.

    Burn it until it resembles a melted carrier bag.

  3. A bit weird I’ll grant you, but I most definitely would.

    Do I get an ‘Aye’ from the morning horn section?

  4. She’s 5ft 4,
    So a borderline midget.
    And seems into “spirituality” a massive warning sign.

    He bedroom probably has posters up of David icke?

    You shoot your baby gravy up her and get her tubbed,
    Expect any kids to go missing and be found wandering in the Pyrenees with a skateboard.

    • Best post on here, MNC. The wife’s 5’4” and just won’t have it when I tell her she’s a shortarse. I’ve been trying for decades and got nowhere. I’ll tell her that what you’ve written is irrefutable scientific proof. She’s out right now having her eyebrows strimmed and weeded for Christmas so I’ll collar her the second she comes in.

      • Just cite my scientific creditials,
        She’ll have to accept that she’s a pygmy.

        But if she gets stroppy it’s nowt to do with me!
        😁👍

    • Mis, have you got any tips on how to hide a pair of black eyes? You can’t walk round
      Widnes and hold your head up when you’ve been decked by someone a foot shorter than you are.

      • Hehehe 😄
        My missus is about the same size Issy!

        Terrible temper these Time Bandits have!!

        I suggest creeping 😁

  5. She looks like a sex doll, actually more like a sex doll than a real sex doll.

    It just needs a bit more wind.

  6. What’s she meant to of done anyway?

    How has Valeria irked the wrath of a Sheffield grandad?

    • Stop proceedings!!!

      New evidence has come to light that exonerates this nice young lady.

      Shes a massive racist and doesn’t believe in race mixing, saying if a girl had a Armenian father she’d need plastic surgery to sort out the nose.

      Court adjourned!

  7. I don’t understand the thinking, if that’s what it is, of initially pretty girls who undergo some sort of procedure that turns at least some of them into something that scares cats at night.

    • I’m with you there Moggie. Amongst the saddest sights out there nowadays are young women with tattoos, inflated lips, tits, arses and pieces of metal stuck in their faces, navels and various other places. Never was there a more appropriate nickname than “tramp stamp.” They seem blissfully unaware that normal people find the whole display revolting and stomach turning. I think it must be down to susceptibility to peer pressure, something worthy of a cunting in its own right.

      • I personally don’t mind a couple of discreet piercings and tattoos, and would not turn down an otherwise decent-looking bird over such minor indulgences.

        It’s when the necks, backs thighs and arms become a sketch pad and the face looks it would pull the magnets off your fridge that it becomes a turn off, possibly because it always comes with a lot of neuroses and ‘drama’.

      • As for lilo lips, fake lashes, nails and tan, and the all-too common Count Orlok eyebrows.

        Nope.

  8. Probably went plastic to avoid acne and automatically became bulimic, due to not having an arsehole.

  9. People like her are just self absorbed, sad, vacuous attention seekers, always after a “like” on instagram, facebook and whatever other bollocks they spend their lives looking at all of the time in order to try to validate themselves. I bet she also struggles with “mental health” when she doesn’t get the likes and then jumps onto the social media platforms to talk all about it, trying to garner some sympathy before she gets suicidal.

    In a word, pathetic! This kind of shit is part of what is wrong with our society and, the world in general.

  10. Well, Val certainly looks better than the obese fat arsed legging wearing mingers you see in every town centre nowadays….!

  11. “In 2014, she stated she was training herself to live off only light and air and converting to breatharianism, a cult with the central belief that food and possibly water are not necessary for survival.”

    Cunt.

  12. Fucking freak.

    There’s gonna be one hell of a blaze when she catches fire.
    It’ll be like a human Hindenburg.

  13. Just mentally ill, or hates herself because someone said something she couldn’t handle on Facebook.
    The problem now is people are willing to accept these nutters rather than telling them to cowboy the fuck up

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