Eating out is, or should be, a simple pleasure in life. However, due to the fact that most people are inconsiderate, disrespectful, rude, loud, obnoxious and entitled cunts these days, the dining experience can be ruined in so many ways.

To increase the chances of an enjoyable meal out, Mrs. Yank and I often go to eateries at non-peak times. The potential benefits are plenty, mainly down to there being far fewer diners. Fewer diners means less noise, a good chance of no bastard scum kids ruining everything, kitchen not backed up so faster service and better, more attentive service from the wait staff. Ahhh bliss.

Even when the eating out gods are smiling upon thee, we still have the moronic and logic defying seating assignments perpetrated by the thick-as-pig-shit host or hostess. That individual often being the vacant teenager who welcomes you at the front door of the establishment. So what’s their crime? Read on.

Actual example from last Saturday. We enter the restaurant mid afternoon and joy to behold, it’s big inside and practically empty. Two, maybe three other tables at most. We’re shown to a booth. But wait, there are 3 in a row and one on the end is occupied by an elderly couple. Don’t sit us next to them FFS! Success! We’re shown to the booth at the opposite end. We settle in, get some drinks and order. Then a large group shows up at the hostess station. Uh oh, they’re coming this way. Too many for the empty booth between us and the elderly couple. Keep going, walk on by. But no. The hostess parks these cunts at a large table right next to where we’re sitting. WHY, FFS? Just WHY?

I could count more than a dozen other large tables well away from us and all unoccupied, so why plant these loud, obnoxious cunts right next to us? What the fuck is wrong with you, you cunt? Then predictably, some fat tart friend who obviously used to be a public address system in a previous life waddles over to this table and starts yammering on about fuck knows what. Being a Yank it’s done at a volume which involves us and most of Canada.

Another meal out ruined. Un-fucking-believable.

Nominated by Imitation Yank.