I’m writing this in early August. I’m currently on holiday in Norfolk and suffering the effects of ‘global boiling’. In other words it’s 13C outside and it’s pissing down with rain. I need something to cheer me up.
But hold on, here’s a story to lighten my mood. It’s news from the Charles Darwin Institutue for Suicidal Stupidity. Today’s prizewinner is one Zhanna Samsonova, a vegan ‘social media influencer’ who extols the benefits of a fruit-only diet to her millions of brain-dead followers. Or rather she did, because the Russky mental has just croaked from a cholera-type infection brought on by malnutrition and exhaustion. At the age of 39.
Fortunately Zhanna’s passing will not be in vain, because many of her followers refuse to believe her death is a result of her frugivore (look it up) diet. Happily, therefore, we can look forward to many more vegans carrying on as before and winning Darwin awards in future.
And well I never, it’s just stopped raining.
Nominated by Goerdie Twatt.
And in the spirit of a Darwinian cunting more from Sam Beau Below.
GT, you beat me to it!
However, I would like UN-cunt this nom.
Why? –
Because, as GT points out in his magnificent cunting, the cretin voluntarily removed herself (and hopefully other `followers`) from the human gene pool so as not to contaminate the rest of our collective DNA. As did the `daredevil` fuckwit xxx who also recently embedded himself in the ground after falling some 68 stories off a building in China …
A apple a day keeps the doctor away..
Oh nevermind.
And a raw fruit diet?
So fruit then.
She didn’t look the type who ate pies.
13
Dead wokies who die from the wokie ideology is always good news. We need far more of them to go to the Middle East and Africa and tell them what ignorant homophobes they are.
The fact that this skeletal bitch is an Ivan is a bonus. Well done shitforbrains!
22
I heard that Steve Jobs tried curing his final illness by the same method. Didn’t work for him either.
13
The world is full of stupid cunts.
That lad who went to North Korea for a ‘daredevil’ holiday. Tries to nick a sign to take as a souvenir and ends up breaking rocks and getting his head smashed in when tortured. Then sent back to America as a mong that died within weeks from his injuries.
Imagine trying to steal something in North Korea? Or even going, because they won’t let you see the place for real anyway. Just the fake hotels and well kitted out fake schools they’ll show you. But oh no, I’ll nick some shite to take home with me. What could possibly go wrong? This’ll be a good story to show of on Arsebook tee hee.
FFS.
20
From memory it was a communist propaganda poster he nicked.
They would probably given him as many as he wanted to take home if he had asked.
7
Vegans really haven’t thought through their commitment to saving animals.
Without people eating animals farmers would not raise cattle or poultry.
Fields that were once full of cows and sheep would be turned over to growing crops.
You would never see a pig or a chicken.
Farmers would not bother having these animals just for show.
They certainly wouldn’t feed them as anything grown on farms would be sold for human consumption.
What’s more is that other animals and birds not reared by farmers would be eradicated.
Rabbits, mice, rats and birds that compete for the crops grown by farmers to feed vegans would be shot on sight.
Foxes and other predictors would therefore have nothing to hunt, so they are fucked too.
Farm animals are a vital part of the food chain that supports both humans and other animals.
In a vegan world all animals would be confined to living in zoos.
But zoos are cruel places, so they will get shut down too.
Veganism does not save animals, it eradicates species.
27
Fucking hell a butterfly landing on that cunts shoulder would have been enough to break its back.
Not much lifting to get it in oven.
The less vegan mentals the better,nice cunting.
18
Not worth ovening, there’s more meat in a chicken nugget.
4
Just wait for a strong breeze.
2
If people wish to damage their health or kill themselves that is their right. When they abuse their children in this way that is beyond the pale.
13
I saw this story at the time,
Her mam and friends, neighbours all tried to Betty Spaghetti that she was ruining her health.
The paramedic DCI Gene tried to revive her by administering a Holland’s meat pie to her and rubbing lard into her limbs,
But, too late☹️
This is why I don’t eat fruit.
Deadly.
17
Too much fruit is bad for your teeth. All these health junkie Californians who gulp down jizz and fruit smoothies for breakfast probably spend a lot of time at the Dentists, lining the pockets of insurers.
I suspect the inventor of the smoothie may have been a dentist, drumming up work for himself and his chums.
4
If the stupid cunt had ever studied history she would have known that in medieval times, when meat was an unaffordable luxury for most people and fruit and berries were the main food, people were lucky if they lived to be 30.
I’m assuming that she wasn’t healthy one day and dropped down dead the next.
She would have had all sorts of ailments as a result of her diet.
She would have been hospitalised a number of times.
But she didn’t listen and now she is dead.
Good!
10
She’s not the first
I read about some Californian fucker (surprise) that believed you could get all the nutrition your body needs from the sun’s rays.
So rather than go the chippy just sunbathed.
He was wrong.
They buried his 5stone corpse in a slimline grave.
I eat steak a lot.
I’m strong as fuck.
And a genius.
Science speaks for itself
23
Vegans are cunts because some of them get pets and try to make them ‘vegan’.
Talk of ‘vegan’ cats dying because of these stupid pricks.
I looked up on the internet and saw a few articles saying it’s fine to feed dogs and cats (!) a vegan diet (fuck off, bullshit!) Then a few sensible vets saying not to do it, it will kill the poor cunts or make them ill and depressed.
I hope Lewis BLM Hamilcunt’s ‘vegan’ pet dog eats his fucking face off in nature’s lust for meat.
Any cunt forcing their cat or dog into a vegan diet needs to be thrown into the tiger’s pen at London Zoo.
21
I seem to remember that it was an Australian couple that managed to kill their own baby by only giving it vegan food.
How fucking stupid do you have to be to inflict that diet on a developing baby?
I am sure that the got stuck in prison.
I hope that they are still there.
12
I hadn’t heard about that one AC, but it doesn’t surprise me.
And has anyone ever seen Hamilcunt’s dog?
Always looks miserable as fuck. Usually sitting still or lying down. No energy you see. Go on Fido, eat the cunt’s leg off in his sleep. You know you want to. The poor fucker probably sees Hamilcunt as a giant steak walking around.
Here’s hoping…
17
Morning CB….Hamilton’s poor dog not only has to endure a meat-free diet, he has to endure his owner’s tendencies towards closet-dweliing clothes and secret bender sessions with Rylan Clark, the poor fucker.
As for the dumbass nom woman…imagine shagging that?!
You’d crush her pelvis like taking a ball-pein hammer to a milky bar.
I shagged an anorexic bird 25 years ago. Weird, baggy skin around her fanny. And a hairy bumhole too.
Not nice.
13
Morning Thomas.
I notice you still got to finish the job. So anorexia, baggy skinned fannies and hairy arseholes don’t put you off?
Where is the line drawn Thomas? I bet it’s fucking far, far a fucking way.
One dreads to think of the horrors your Allegro has witnessed.
14
The Allegro’s hydroelastic suspension is nice and comfotable for rough terrain dogging sessions with women who look like Rose West.
11
Hairy arsehole?
Is that a sign of anorexia?
I better see my GP
8
Looking it up on the interweb it was the Australian couple that were given a suspended sentence as their baby didn’t die.
An American couple got life sentences as their ‘vegan’ baby did die.
There have probably been other cases.
6
The Karen Carpenter of Holland and Barrett.
Vegans are always Ill.
And bad tempered.
Because like Skeletor above they are slowly starving.
They had a bacon butty they’d be on the road to recovery in 24hrs.
Your stool (shite) shows your health.
Medical fact.
Mine full of bones and slick with gravy= peak psychical health.
A vegans will resemble a ferrero roshe,
Dried twigs an leaves.
Painful on the balloon knot.
16
I once had a shit and it was green.
Beat that you cunts.
11
Pfffft. I had a shit that was blue.
I caught and ate a smurf.
13
That’s what happens when you stick a cucumber up your bum. Michael Barrymore told me that, saucy cunt.
12
Damn my secret is out.
“It was an accident doctor. I was cleaning the fridge out wearing only my dressing gown, when a cucumber fell on the floor. I slipped and fell just as the cucumber was in an upright position as it fell from the fridge.My bottom hole landed right on it and that’s why I’m here. What are the chances eh?”
In reality it was a one off green shite (hadn’t eaten loads of green shite or anything). Never happened again.
Probably a sign that the green agenda is a load of shite.
See, I always knew I was different from the other people. (Richard Richard, 1991)
6
I once shat red Cb.
Might have had something to do with the haemorrhoids though.
6
Aye that happens with a weeping or burst inner roid.
4
Enjoying your breakfasts?
4
If its surrounded in pastry its bound to be tasty.
If cooks well in lard then go for it hard.
5
I’ve had green stools. Once after a bit of heatstroke, and another time getting Clostridium Difficile in hospital.
If you’re a big healthy fucker like me, C Diff is not a worry.
Don’t let the media scare you.
1
The fucking cat that keeps shitting in my garden is going on an inverse vegan diet when I get hold of the little ginger bastard.
A sharpened bamboo cane inserted into its arse.
As for the subject of this nom, stupid is as stupid does.
5
That bitch’s arms reminds of some kid at school we used to mercilessly rip the piss out of. We used to call him “Biafra”.
Anyone remember them?…….another bunch of starving Africunts who everyone cried about but nobody has heard of now.
8
There was a skinny as fuck kid round our way when I was a kid.
His nickname?
Eefy (as in Ethiopian)
4
There was a similar kid at my school we called ‘Twig’…we used to say that his dad used to whip him then bum him and he was too weak to fight him off. Not that he wanted to.
9
On a windy day Biafra was in serious danger of being blown into the traffic. To be fair we tried hard to help him on his way. What cunts we were eh? Still, it toughened the wanker up, that’s life innit?
3
That reminds me of the joke around that time.
“What do you call a starving Biafran?
A toast rack!”
4
Fuck me, I remember that….or a clothes horse! Kids these days would get locked up for jokes like that. Fucking hate crime mate.
5
When I was learning to play the piano my mum got me a slim leather music case to hold my sheet music. A mate at school called it my Biafran Briefcase.
3
Biafra was a short-lived republic that broke away from Nigeria.
My dad used to refer to the Biafrans as well, but as a young cynic I only remember the Live Aid bollocks being focused on the Ethiopians. Even then, my reaction was ‘Euuggh! Flies!’
2
It is an endearing feature of the libtard mentality that they are always trying to save the planet for future generations by their absurd behaviours. Some are Greens, many are Lib Dems. All are sickly mongs. In the world they are fighting for there will be no plastic bags, no fossil fuels, no meat or animal products, no cash, no borders…But on the up side there will be whispy beards, open toed sandals made of straw, lots of lovely enrichment, 90% taxation, wimmins football, soy latte and Glastonbury. Fuck right off.
Good morning, everyone.
18
Much like inhalers are good for folk with asthma, breathing the exhaust fumes of either a classic car or any car with a V8, V10 or V12 can cure people of veganism, bicycling and electric car enthusiasm and turn cissies into men.
7
Good morning TtCE. I loved it when the stupid twats used epoxy resin to stick themselves to the roads in Germany!
3
You may be onto something there.
Evidently the lack of bacon, pies and steak in their diet muddles the vegan brain to the point that communism, liking illegal immigrants and supporting just stop oil all seem like good ideas.
8
Time for a joke!
One day a woman is visiting a farm when she spots a pig with 3 legs and decides to ask the farmer how it came about?
Well, he says, some weeks ago my twins were in their buggy when the brake came off and the pram went hurtling down the hill heading onto that road towards an oncoming juggernaut. That pig you see there chased after it and knocked it safely out of the trucks path.
And that’s why it’s only got 3 legs she asks?
Oh no say the farmer…..
You don’t eat a pig like that, all at once.
11
Soshul meeja influenza’s. Aren’t they what we used to call nutters?
Or unemployed?
Modern day versions of the bloke who used to walk up and down Oxford street wearing a sandwich board declaring, the end is nigh.
He didn’t have ‘followers’ though.
Everyone thought he was a fucking lunatic.
Nowadays if you have a webcam and plenty to say for yourself, there are people out there who’ll believe anything you say.
David Icke got it all wrong. He should have kept his powder dry until the internet was invented and hundreds of thousands would have hung on his every word.
7
I think they do anyway, gIven the uprising against 5G.
Even the famous telecommucation engineer, Amanda Holden, supported him.
1
I like Argentinian restaurants.
All you can eat, meat.
They first try to lure you by serving up bread, salad and chips.
I’ll have none of that.
I’m not filling myself up with stodge.
Bring on the meat.
Huge skewers of the stuff which the waiter slices for you at your table.
The first skewer is always sausage.
Very tasty, but the waiter can piss off with that…. And the chicken.
I’ll wait for the beef and lamb and just keep it coming until I am stuffed and tell you to fuck off.
I can spend hours in these places.
Mrs Cunter will sit there nibbling her small portions and eating the salad.
She rightly thinks that I am disgusting.
The next day’s morning turd is bigger, heavier and meatier than the girl in the nom.
Possibly more intelligent too.
14
Outside of ‘competitive eating’, I wonder if anyone has eaten the real value of pizza for price paid in one of these AYC places, given that pizzas are mainly dough, processed cheese and industrial tinned sauce, with a sprinkling of veg and tiny bits of processed meat.
2
😂😂😂😂😂 stupid bint.Only herself to blame.All vegans can Smeg off and die.
4
Vegan, eh? I can tell.
She certainly needs a few beef burgers and a fried breakfast or two, the bony cunt.
You want cunts? I’ve got ’em.
Loch Ness Monster: Hundreds to join huge search for Nessie.
For fuck’s sake, I thought it was well established in the 70s that the fucking thing does not exist. Of course, the BBC put that – and Spanish wimmns footbal – as headline news. Utter bellends.
4
‘Unacceptable actions allowed to happen by a sexist and patriarchal organisation,’ it read.
The English Women’s team reaction to the Spanish kiss crisis.
3
Can’t stand fruit, it all tastes like apples. Anyway every time i eat fruit i shit through the eye of a needle.
Imagine sleeping with a bird that only eats fruit , she would be letting off on your legs all night not to mention the stench 👎🤮
5
The last war was to blame. You couldn’t get fruit for love … you know the saying. Then people went over the top. The writing was on the blackboard when teachers stopped getting their apples. Now people are being flung on compost heaps.
2
The alien Vegan race, EXTERMINATE!!!
2
Stupid slip of a cunt, good riddance.
The only good wokie is a dead wokie. They’re unremittingly cruel to anyone who doesn’t share their worldview (while trumpeting kindness), so be sure to judge the bastards likewise!
7
It seems she tried to go on the ‘paleo’ diet but like a typical Russkie she went too extreme and forgot the nuts, beans, meat and fish
I couldn’t do it. I like Cheese, cream and milk far too much.
2
I’m on the Keto diet and the results speak for themselves. Granted meat and cheese are more expensive than Ramen noodles but it’s money well spent for a body being fueled by fat instead of sugar. It all started with one simple step of stopping the drinking of any beverage containing sugar. After that my body started changing and later I went “Full Keto”. One of the best decisions I’ve made. The wife too.
0
Vegans are cunts. From the photo, she would be an ideal exhibit for those plasticised cadavers in the Bodyworlds exhibition. These influencers are all the same. They don’t give a varnished fuck about their so called “causes”, only to whore themselves out on Twatter or Fuckbook to massage their own egos and to view suck.
Darwinism is a beautiful thing. Weeding out the dull fucks and the doss cunts who deliberately bait the reaper and then get their bluff called.
Similar to that missionary twat a few years ago who went to North Sentinel Island to preach to a tribe who made it clear, time and again they didn’t want any outside contact. Darwinism served him with being turned into a dead floppy pin cushion and a sandy grave. As a wise man once said “Don’t fuck with the collector. He’ll cancel your arse like a direct debit”.
2