It’s amazing how many businesses there are out there who ‘care’ about us. They’re really, really concerned about meeting the needs of the customer; that’s you and me. We know this for a fact because they constantly tell us so. Our satisfaction is their prime motivator.
You see it all the time in their company letterheads and logos, in their advertising, and on their vehicles. You see it in the pictures of their smiling telephone sales staff just dying to take your call, while you listen to their repeated message about how ‘your call is important to us’ as you wait on the line for 45 minutes desperate to get through to an actual human being. They demonstrate it when you arrange for a visit for 9am to look at your boiler, then they turn up at 2pm if you’re lucky. If not, you end up having to waste more time waiting in.
They’re sooooo anxious to give you the best possible deal. Take my car insurance company for example. My renewal quote came yesterday, in an envelope prominently marked ‘the insurance people who care’. They care so much that they’ve hiked my premium by a mere 34.5%, with a new ‘broker admin fee’ of £10 thrown in for good measure.
It’s all about looking after us, you see, putting our interests above all else. The bottom line means nothing to them, because they really do ‘care’.
Yeah right.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
Yeah the politicians and the corporates care alright. They care about robbing our pockets and keeping us down. Fuck them and fuck their caring and sharing.
Fuck off cunts.
21
Evening Freddie – no surprise there me ol’ mucka – most politicians have share or relatives on the boards of these corporates if not themselves in some sneaky fashion – all cunts of the highest order that need machine gunning to they have more holes in them than an overperferated Tetley tea bag and then setting on fire with homemade Napalm ( vaseline and red diesel) and some…..
4
Yes, but, Ron, you misunderstand. They care about the planet, they care about diversity, they care about the Ukraine. You are just there to provide the funds to pay for so much caring. What? You want service too? Fuck off.
22
Oh yeah, the environment. I forgot about how much they care about that.
And diversity. You see it in all their ‘spot the white man’ adverts.
I am happy to provide the funds for all that sort of caring.
4
There are a couple of alternatives for a company who tell you that they ‘care’.
Firstly they just say nothing about their level of care.
Or they can just be honest and say that they don’t give a fuck.
They take the safe option and tell you that they care.
If the customer is stupid enough to believe that the company wants anything other than to relieve them of their money then they deserve what they get.
8
Very well put Artful.
1
Well cunted RK, the only thing these bastards are interested in is making more money for themselves, this caring warm and fluffy bollocks is just a marketing idea to get the population to part with the pennies. I have read some of the “caring” statements put out by these shysters and if true they out do Jesus in their caring, sharing, right on community blah blah arse. Fucking robbers one and all. Should be forced to wear a mask and stripy jumper for any tv adverts. As if an energy company gives two fucks about me even though their smart meter has never contacted them with my readings since the meter was fitted two years ago. The only time they bother to contact me is if I have not paid the latest bill. To read all their caring bullshit one would assume that a member of staff would visit me daily to solve all the problems. Fuck the lot of them sideways.
9
With a length of splintery wood BB
2
Anyone see that one Sky did recently?
Old fella who’d lost his wife of 50 or 60 years. Sky showed an advert saying how much they care by saying they’d given him a few phone and video calls asking how he was. They even ‘helped’ transfer the Sky bill from his wife’s name to his (I bet they fucking did).
Yes, a nice touch to call him, but once they put it on an advert saying ‘because we care’, the cynic in me thinks they only did it to promote themselves.
The fucking shithouses.
25
In fact, saying how much you care and how wonderful you are seems to be a modern trait.
Can’t do a good deed without filming it and telling the world about it now, can they.
Probably due to social media narcissism innit?
12
It must be the only time they’ve managed to transfer a bill into a relative’s name without insisting that there’s nothing they can do until they’ve spoken to the deceased account holder.
4
Sky are cunts.
I had a friend from college who worked for Sky News.
She said they were all bullies and psychos.
I think she lasted a month.
4
It’s interesting to see how many former Sky presenters got disillusioned with their wokery and joined GB News.
1
Sell me stuff or a service at a fair price and good quality, now that is a caring company.
That would make a good logo/message
‘We sell good quality X at a fair price’
Trouble is you can never believe anything anymore.
7
Depends how big the company is, I daresay. My company genuinely cares because we’re the best in our sector and our repuatation precedes us.
As a senior employee, I take my work very seriously and am proud of what I achieve. Most people in my (small, 34 employees) company feel the same way, we give our best and those who don’t get booted out.
When I worked as an engineer for Airbus, no-one gave a fuck, I was just a number so I just did the bare minimum to get paid.
Large companies only care about money, their customers and employees are worthless insects to them.
12
It’s not just companies. What about the ‘caring’ professions?
Junior hospital doctors – striking
Hospital consultants – striking
Nurses – striking (until recently)
Caring about their own bank balances, and bollocks to their patients.
10
Ambulance drivers striking
2
If ISAC was running the country, we’d show that we care about our old/indigenous folk by machine-gunning dinghy darkıes and blowing up every last mo§que in the country (simultaneously during evening prayers when they’re hopefully full to capacity).
18
Plus the grand reopening of Tyburn.
Soon have everything nice and tidy again.
14
Tyburn was a fucking brilliant day out for all the family. Something for everyone. Pies, souvenirs. In 3D too. No ads.
12
A swinging time was had by all apparently.
3
Every corporation is completely full of shit and I don’t believe a single word they say.
This latest trend for “caring and sharing” has been borrowed from the fucking appalling cunts in the “charity” sector.
Good shout Ron.
9
Thanks Unk
2
I swear my bollocks off at Sly when the automated voice tells me it will get me to the right place if I say what they want me to say, in a few words and I end up in India, who haven’t got the fucking foggiest what I’m on about. Then the recruiting school for scammers, eventually have to send me back to Sly. I get there in the end. It doesn’t cost me, due to being with them for years. Its all the fucking about that annoys me. Hope I haven’t annoyed you ? I know I fucking have.
4
It’s nice that they care because I don’t give a fuck.
When it comes to business all I care about is you can pay,
And in cash.
Anything else tm not interested in.
I admit I might not match up in caring
But lead the field in honesty.
5
Knew a bloke who only dealt in cash back in the sixties. He would hand over less than they wanted, then point to his chin and tell them to take the rest out of this. They shat themselves, due to him being the towns hard man.
4
HMRC are scrambling a fighter jet to intercept your van.
3
Digression.
Luis Rubmibollocks, just wanted to find out, what it was like, kissing a lesbian. That was all.
3
I’d be more likely to buy from a company if they were honest.
Like this:
“At Cunt and Co, we don’t give a shiny shite about you. Well, we care about your money so we’ll make our products as good and as cheap as possible..by cheap as possible we mean, we the owners, need a few million a year each of course. Yeah, we could make it a few pence cheaper, but fuck that. Me daughter wants a pony and I have a new 23 year old model trophy wife who likes Gucci shite. So yeah, cheap as possible after all that and my passion for a new sports car every year. And me mansion costs a fair bit to maintain, not that you’d know anything about that, you fucking peasant.
“We don’t give a toss about you. In fact, if we had the power to give you a happy life or a miserable one, we’d give you a terrible life in utter pain and despair if it meant you’d buy our products more. Even if it was just a penny more for us.
“That’s how much we care. We’ll try to keep you happy with the quality of our products, prices and customer service to keep you sweet and buying our stuff, but we couldn’t give a tuppenny fuck for you.”
4
That’s the problem with vulnerable fuckers, they never run out.
3
The vulnerable cunts are the ones who fall for bullshit from corporates.
I don’t and never will.
I just care about the price, quality and customer service.
If they said they don’t give a shite about me but provided the above 3 factors well, I’m happy enough.
I don’t care about them I don’t care if they don’t care about me either.
1
The Lloyds bank one always make me grin. The one where they claim they ‘are by your side’
Right by your side as the bailiffs take possession of your stuff because you’ve missed a mortgage payment…..
Right by your side when you get scammed or your card cloned and you have you current account emptied by a Nigerian Prince….
Right by your side as they close all the high street banks and demand you use their internet banking, great if your elderly and unsure of the internet, computers etc…
All Allegedly of course, I’m sure they are just like the adverts portray.
8
Betting compare the worst.
That BetFred one there some old cunt (I guess it’s the owner?) goes on about setting safe limits and enjoying a flutter, not betting when angry or chasing losses…all that shite. Proper patronising, caring sharing, trustworthy old man’s voice he puts on.
Every betting company knows full well that loads of families will suffer terribly because of their existence. Some chronic gamblers are so fucked, they’ll gamble their homes away and see their kids go hungry.
They know this full well, so please spare us this ‘we care’ shite.
If they cared, the pissed up bellend who’d just gambled his house on a 3am 3rd division Ecuadorian water polo match would be able to get his stake back?
Like fuck they’d ever agree to refunding any cunt, ever. Not saying the cunt should get a refund, but spare us the Mother Theresa shite.
11
“betting companies”
Get fucked
4
Also betting companies will close your account if you keep winning.
Cunts.
6
Perfect summing up CB. Betting companies are amoral. So are tobacco companies. Richard Doll turned up the evidence on smoking when I was a toddler. I used to do calls at British American Tobacco. Any one of the cunts there would have sold cigarettes to young kids without a moment’s hesitation if they had thought they could get away with it.
2
‘If they cared, the pissed up bellend who’d just gambled his house on a 3am 3rd division Ecuadorian water polo match…’
fucking hell that made me laugh.
3
These people, with their ‘gamble responsibly’ shit, are agents of Old Nick, the cunts.
7
These big businesses all try and portray themselves as modern and progressive
Happy pride🌈
If I’m wanting to invest or bank money I don’t want a bunch of soft liberal bedwetters in charge.
I want ruthless cunts.
Slave traders, Empire builders, blood diamond miners, and railroad barons.
Men who make things happen.
Not camp David from accounts with streaked hair who cried because there wasn’t any Tampax in the gents bogs.
18
You are Cecil Rhodes and I claim my five De Beers shares. 🤑🇬🇧
5
Quite right!
Well said, Mis.
2
They couldn’t give a fuck, all infested with leftwing woke HR managers.
4
In my many years of employment, I never met anyone from HR who wasn’t a slimy cunt.
4
My favourite company that cares is British Petroleum.
Oh sorry, I meant “Beyond Petroleum”.
2002 – pledges to hold down emissions and be a “steward for the planet”.
2006 – responsible for one of the largest oil spills in Alaska.
2010 – causes largest marine spill ever when it’s Deepwater Horizon oil rig explodes
And all the while selling off its renewable solar and wind assets.
Look, just be more honest – you are a bunch of ruthless cunts like that Day Lewis fella in that 4 hour fillum.
He got an academy award you know.
7
They’ve been pushing the green shit for years. Pathetic.
1
Ron try the NFU for car insurance. I got cancelled by Royal Sun Alliance. I I was renewing my car insurance and they had put the premium up by 40% so I delayed renewing it until it ran out and I was late going off somewhere. A quick phone call and they asked if anything had changed, no all the same I said, forgetting I had a speeding offence 9 months previously. I called them two weeks later and told them and got cancelled for not telling them when I renewed. I rang the NFU and told them what had happened and they sorted me out at less than half the RSA had been charging. Last month they called me and told me they were giving me £125 back as they had been over charging some customers due to an error calculating premiums. They are a mutual company rather than a PLC..
7
My Cunting car insurance went up from £120 to £280 this year couldn’t get it any cheaper, think Zenith dropped a bollock on last years premium for a V8 X6 oh and I got £35 Quidco cashback 😂
0
Excellent Wanksock.
Thanks for that.
2
Mostly wankers.9mm aspirin.
2
Seeing a rainbow there’s days puts me right off from enjoying them appear over the ocean near me. The poofter cunts. Couldn’t they have shown an arse with a giant turd coming out of it instead.
4
We’ve already seen pictures of Rishi Sunak.
1
They care only about your money.
They care only because they want to retain your custom
They care only because you pay by direct debit
They care only about their profits and shareholder dividends
They care two-shits about you as a person.
Take care, Ron. Missing you already!
4
If anyone believes this shit I have a bridge in London for sale. Let’s face it none of us give two shits about anyone directly unrelated to us in some way. If you do get decent service from anyone it’s because they have a sense of professional pride.
4
Customer care
Social responsibility
Sustainability
Diversity, Equality and inclusion.
It’s as much self-delusion for the sap employees as a sales pitch.
4
Just to let you know.
I’m watching MUTV. After United being 0-2 down, they now lead 3-2. According to the information below, Fernandez scored the penalty before Rashford was brought down ?
0
Well, it’s the Theatre of Dreams, isn’t it?
1
Any company that claims to ” care” about me is immediately stricken from my list of companies I am happy to deal with.
Fortunately, Ryobi have managed to avoid this utterly sickening trait.
The send me an email, after delivery, that reads something like
Thanks for buying a Ryobi product.
Did we deliver in a timely fashion?
Yes/No
Are you happy with the item?
Yes /No/Haven’t used it yet.
Boom , boom.
3
They care about Jack Shit, apart from the shareholders and profit….The late, great Bill Hicks summed it up perfectly about those who work in Marketing/Advertising. If you know, you’ve already heard it. We live in a dog-shit world of hell of our own making. I know of no cure….I almost tossed myself off the Gosport Ferry, but found solace in the Baker’s Arms and crafty shandy.
1
No such thing as a company that cares. Simples….
1