Commemoration Days, Weeks & Months

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It’s idiosyncratic I know, but there’s just something about commemorations that get right on my tits.

There are just so many of the fuckers. Okay, I realise that a lot are very well-meaning; they aim to draw attention to, and promote action on, a whole range of important topics, from numeracy and literacy, to fighting diseases such as cancer and strokes, to world overpopulation, to remembering our armed services. It’s a saturated market though, and I for one just blank out from it all. Take the issue of sanitation in the third world, for example. When were you last galvanised into action as a result of World Toilet Day?

What really gets my goat however is the sheer irritating pointlessness of some of these celebrations. I give you Teddy Bears’ Picnic Day, World Emoji Day, Tattoo Day, Talk Like A Pirate Day, Star Trek Day, Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day… Anybody planning to ‘come out’ on Coming Out Day? Anybody know anybody who’s ‘come out’ on Coming Out Day? And don’t any cunt mention World Bicycle Day, or I may spontaneously combust.

Then you’ve got commemorative weeks. It feels as though we really need the likes of National Chip Week, National Homoeopathy Week and Curry Week in our lives.

Then (oh Lord) we’ve got the months. Whole fucking months to ‘celebrate’ Veggies, Vegans, Mustaches, Black History, and Pride. Yeah, get your LGBTQXYZ rainbow flags out everybody, and insist that MAPs get added to the alphabet community, they’re so marginalised and misunderstood.

Believe it or not, we actually just celebrated National Bikini Day. That’s right, a day to celebrate bikinis. Don’t believe me? Well, take a look;

Daily Fail Link.

Er, hang on a mo, I could definitely spring into action for this event. Lordy, but International Masturbation Day on the 28th May suddenly seems like a hell of a long way off…

Nominated by : Ron Knee

83 thoughts on “Commemoration Days, Weeks & Months”

  1. The only day I celebrate is ‘Losing my cherry day’.
    Or it will be when it happens.

  2. Happy creme brulee day everyone..

    I celebrate national white supremacist day everyday.

  3. Well today is Take Your Houseplant for a Walk Day and National Chicken Finger Day among many others. No, I’m not making it up, so take your plant pot round to McDonalds and give it a fucking treat. You mad cunt!

  4. I celebrate loads of them.
    From Michelmas to Lambing Tuesday,
    To emancipation from the Romans day to Gothic Friday.

    Plus all the equinoxes and solstices.

    What I don’t celebrate is Black Friday or Black mass.

    Fuck em

  5. Mere fluff.

    What this country needs:

    Trafalgar Day.

    Waterloo Day.

    Somme Day.

    Victory 1918 Day.

    Battle of Britain Day.

    Battle of the Atlantic Day.

    El Alamein Day.

    Victory 1945 Day.

    All bank holidays,plus all the families of those that have ever been awarded the Victoria Cross awarded a one million pound bounty.

    The fucking French can pay for it all.

    • 23 June referendum day (symbolic I know ‘cos what the majority wanted in reality hasn’t happened) or 25 October Agincourt day where you’re legally allowed to kick any Frenchie in the nuts.

    • I was lucky enough to be in London for the VE day 50th anniversary celebrations. Unfortunately it was ruined by drunks and having to go back to Guy’s Hospital the next day.

    • 24th of May, Empire day! Where all the peoples of the world should thank the Empire for bringing forth Ale, railways, Gin, full English breakfasts, Whisky, cricket, Scrumpy, mass production and so many other things.
      God save the King.
      Presem Yasur.

  6. Oh Ron, any excuse to ogle Salma, however I am appalled that you didn’t mention July 18th which was Black Leaders Day.

    Just out of interest how long did you spend on the link 😂

  8. I celebrate butt plug day vigourously and only for those women who commute with them inserted.

    I also observe “get you cock out at work” day and Spit Roast Friday.

    • Is this woman commuters butt plug thing actually true Spanky, or an urban legend?

      (the wife was asking earlier)

      • From my experience, it’s a true fact that most women communte with a butt plug in.

        Just saying.

    • Sadly, I know who Gary Gygax is, because of my shameful past and associates.

    • Playing Dungeons and Dragons while blotto can’t be the worst thing in the world.

      Surely it’s more fun than playing it sober?

    • National Nancy Day
      Let’s celebrate the creative and optimistic personalities of all Nancys on National Nancy Day.

      Hang on, isn’t that a thing already?

  10. Don’t care for official celebration dates, unless personal. There is only one month of the year where nothing is celebrated and that’s when I was born. Found it interesting when I first realised, many moons ago.

  11. Good nom. I can think of loads of possibilities for new celebrations.

    Huw Edwards Day? Might cheer him up. Or perhaps Phillip Schofield Day? Sir Jimmy Savile Day, anyone? The BBC could really get behind a campaign to honour such broadcasting giants. It could help the national healing process and encourage re-evaluation of their contributions. Harriet Harman might support it too. Perhaps with a speech in the H of C.

  12. It’s July, all this month. Or what’s left of it.
    Too much month left…
    Time for my usual 11h45 Coutts.

  13. I was given a break-time detention when I was in year 8 (back in 1993-4) after the teacher said it was National Vegetarian Day and I shouted ‘rubbish!’

    Back then I thought I was Rik Mayall.

      • And in the middle of the forest, there lived….some trousers……..ermmm…called Dave!

      • “They’ll play crickets with our hearts. They’ll use our love truncheons as wickets. You’ll have to carry me to the bathroom. Uh! You’ll see my nob.”

  15. OT but can Sky not find a commentator who can speak English properly?

    That Dinesh Kartik. Fucking garbled noise.

    Get to fuck.

    • Speaking concise English on the telly or radio is so 20th century.

      innit laaaaik.

      • Laihv on Skaa Sports.

        But that Kartik just now,

        “Der batters bygjnj hfxfgk jkhbbf fddjl h every wicket.”

      • Count yourself lucky you ain’t on the end of a call centre phone line, trying to reset your broadband.

        Hello my name is David..

    • There’s a shit Kenco ad doing the rounds at the moment where the (black I imagine but you never know these days) bint at the end mutters something like “Kenco we raaaiiiise” (instead of “rise” I’m presuming)

      Here’s me thinking Ali G was a piss take at the time.
      I didn’t realise the cunt was actually a societal prophet and the future voice of British media.

      • An astute observation, HJ. Or should I say, ‘n erstoo’ obverzashn? Wow. Amazing. Yeah?

        Today could be The English Language Is Dead Day.

  16. My Uncle was in the USA a few years back. This Yank asked him, “What do you call the 4th of July in the UK?”, my Uncle replied “Good Riddance Day”.

  17. Well it’s certainly Sinead O’Connor day on Al Beeb.
    Talent beyond compare. Nothing compared to her blah blah blah zzzzzzzzz

    • One song
      She’s only got one song

      Yes, it’s sad, she was a tormented soul, but it’s not like Mick Jagger or McCuntney croaked.

      Going on like she’s a legend FFS

      • And mard songs like that brilliantly sung, but depressing as fuck song of hers should be banned anyway. Might cunt ’em.

        Some folk might be at the end of their tether when all if a sudden, a song like that comes on the radio. Next thing, the cunt is gassing himself in the garage.

        Might have got a phone call from a mate and cheered up if he’d not listened to that song. Gone for a run. Met a nice lass… etc.

        What do I know, but I bet mard songs have pushed some fuckers over the edge before.

      • Music can soothe the savage beast they say?

        Make you laugh, cry, get angry, romantic etc.

        I’m my short stint at the Samaritans I couldn’t be arsed talking to the moaning cunts,
        So just played them music.

        https://youtu.be/OKRJfIPiJGY

      • Maybe that’s the reason British gas profits are a record high, people gassing themselves.

        No one to turn if off,what a business plan..

      • It’s the causes she supported that they wank over;
        feminism
        Irishness
        BLM
        Islam

        More known for her political hijinks than her music.

        Mediocre.

      • People over here felt sorry for her because of her pretty fucked up childhood and alcoholic parents.

        But that’s pretty standard in the old country, barely worth bringing up.

  18. Maybe today, Nat West/Coutts are fucked day.

    Breaking New!

    Head of Coutts Peter Flavel has ‘stepped down’ 😂

    • These cunts run the country’s finances..

      No fucking wonder we’re up shit creek.

      A degree in common sense is what these smart ares are lacking….💩

  19. Too many efnik months and days.

    We’ve apparently emerged headlong from Pride into ‘People of South-East Asian heritage month’, whatever the fuck. Can’t see it being as popular as Black history but they don’t have the PR.

    I’ve always wondered why a whole month. I mean, in the UK there aren’t enough people of these heritages (yet) to deserve approx 8% of the year.

    And also, where is my Oirish month?

    We built this country’s motorways.

    Badly, but it is the thought that counts.

  20. Anyone seen the film the Purge where for 24 hours crime is allowed.

    I have a few ideas on what I would do with such luxury, perhaps too much to share for delicate eyes on IsaC.

    • i’ve seen three Purge films.

      The last one where they expose the government/Skull and Bones types was pure wank.

      Did Alex Jones write it?

  23. This I’ve been cancelled and blocked – can’t post on the new Chanell 5 cunting.

    • My other half would say that is every day in our house as I have a Bristol accent. I have also often been accused by him of having West Country Tourettes where you repeatedly shout out “Mangelwurzel” and jerk about, I can’t ever remember doing it, but he says that is part of the condition.

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