Prince Michael of Sealand.

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The “Principality” of Sealand is a tiny micronation located on an old North Sea oil platform, 7 miles off the coast of Suffolk. Since 1967 it has been occupied and claimed as an independent sovereign state by the Bates Dynasty, initially led by “Prince” Roy Bates and now by his son, Prince Michael Bates. Yes, these daft cunts on their tatty oil rig have declared themselves sovereign princes on a par with princes of the UK.

The Principality of Sealand is really pretty impressive and Bates and his followers have displayed plenty of chutzpa.

In 1968 Prince Roy and his son took pot shots from their dilapidated platform at British mariners who dared to approach their principality.

Then, in 1978, in an incident which sounds like something out of Frederick Forsyth or Ian Fleming, the Bates Dynasty nearly lost control of their principality. Prince Roy had been discussing plans with his “prime minister”, Alexander Achenbach (a former German citizen with a “Sealand passport”), to turn the grotty platform into an international luxury casino.

The PM disagreed with this idea. When Prince Roy left the Principality to visit the continent, Auchenbach staged an attempted coup with German and Dutch mercenaries. They stormed the seaweed infested platform with speedboats and helicopters, and took Prince Roy’s son, the current reigning Prince Michael, hostage.

Prince Michael was able to retake Sealand and capture Achenbach and the mercenaries using weapons stashed on the platform. Achenbach was charged with treason against Sealand and imprisoned in the Principality until he paid £23,000 reparations.

Germany then sent a diplomat to Sealand to negotiate for Achenbach’s release. Prince Roy diplomatically agreed to release Achenbach, but used the visit of a diplomat from a sovereign nation to claim that Sealand had achieved de facto recognition by Germany as a sovereign state.

It is through such incidents that great states are founded.

But the story doesn’t stop there. Undeterred by his defeat, Premier Achenbach established a government in exile, known as the Sealand Rebel Government in Germany. The Principality is still in a constant state of readiness to repel any future attempted coups by the Sealand rebels. Civil war is a constant threat.

It costs money to defend a kingdom. To raise revenues, Prince Michael started selling Sealand passports, just like the UK. Unfortunately, this lucrative trade had to be stopped when Prince Michael realised that his passports were being faked and sold by a money laundering ring which had connections to – yes, you guessed it – former Premier Achenbach.

Achenbach and his associates are reported to have sold 4,000 fake Sealandic passports to Hong Kong citizens for $1,000 each. Not bad ! In 2016 Sealand was receiving hundreds of applications for passports every day. Sealand has also issued stamps and coins.

Sadly, the Bates Dynasty started to lose its grip. In 2010, Sealand was offered for sale for £600 million. There were no buyers.

Prince Michael has retired to Suffolk with his wife, Princess Joan, where he now runs a fishing business called Fruits of the Sea. Its a sad end for one of the crowned heads of Europe. But all is not lost – Prince Michael’s son now runs Sealand on his fathers behalf as “Prince Regent”. The current population of Sealand is two people. Long live Sealand!

Prince Michael of Sealand – cunt or hero? I’ll leave it to you to decide, but I rather think he’s a hero. It would all make a brilliant book as well.

BBC News Link

Sealandgov link

Nominated by: MMCM

 

57 thoughts on “Prince Michael of Sealand.”

  1. Sounds like a right lark. They’re obviously as nutty as a fruit cake but they’re not doing any harm so good luck to them. Once they introduce “cultural diversity”……… that’s when it starts to fall apart.

  2. I remember that attempted coup and the subsequent retake.
    I thought at the time it would be great to have a platform of my own, and declare it a country, but the government stopped anyone else from doing it.
    The one problem is, all of the people you want to shoot probably won’t try to gain access, and would make life difficult getting supplies, or returning to the UK.
    One thing I can guarantee, all of the cunts mentioned on ISAC would be thrown over the side if they made their way to my platform.

    • You can become a Baron of Sealand for a mere £59.99. A bargain compared to what you would have to pay the Conservatives or the Labour Party for a seat in the House of Lords. I think the going rate there is £2 million plus.

      • Yep, I’m in! It’s only £120 for the whole package, which is the same as 6 quality cigars, or a weeks allowance for a fucking immigrant. I know which I would prefer! As a direct descendant of one of Edward Stafford, 3rd Duke of Buckingham’s bastard sons (the one who fell out with Henry VIII) it’s about time I held some form of noble title.

      • Sold, I have always wanted to be a Lord (it’s cheaper than being a Baron), when I get my title I will have to change my name to Lord Sick of it of Sealand.

        I will expect to be called your lordship by the rest of you fucking peasants.

      • MMCM@ – Afternoon MMCM – I am already a Lord (true story – I own land in Scotland so I am legally allowed the title of “Laird” in Scotland and “Lord” in England) – why on earth would someone with all the sophistication and breeding like what I got lower themselves to be a mere Baron?
        Because one thing I won’t tolerate is aspirations of grandeur! 😀

      • Vern, I’m also a ‘landowner’ of a square foot of soggy bog land in Scotland.
        So I’m also a ‘Laird’.
        I’m hoping that, with all this global warming, it’ll dry out enough to be built on, or turned into a golf course or summat.
        I’ll hold them to ransome, my £25 notes will be money we’ll spent.

    • DoC@ – Afternoon Doc – it is perfectly legal to construct an artificial island as long as it is outside the 12 mile territorial waters of the UK – and, daft as it sounds, that is exactly what I would do if I had silly money – “The Republic of Foxland” sounds good to me! 😀
      And “Prince Michael of Sealand” has just as much right to call himself royal as the Stuart/Hanoverian leeches.

  3. Put the immos on it. Tell all the dinghy cunts that if they can get onto sealand and stay for a week, they get a passport. Then tell the bates that they are allowed to defend it with force and divert all the weapons bound for ukraine to sealand. Be fucking ace.

      • Certainly are, CC, but the oiks have to drive it there.
        “Roight, snorkels on lads, begorrah!”

  5. Prince Roy’s biggest mistake was in not making treason a capital offence in Sealand. he could have executed the Kraut and that ould have been the end of his problems.

    I seem to remember Roy Bates had something to do with pirate radio in the earlier 1970s or late 60s? One of the offshore forts if I recall correctly. I t would have to have been pre 67 to be legal, or at least not officially illegal, but Prinec Roy souds like a man not troubled by legal nicities.

    On the whole I would say hero rather than cunt, but if ever Anthony Blair seeks political asylum there, I would definately have hanging on the statute book.

    • Indeed Bertram. One of my favourites is WW2 hero ‘Mad Jack’ Churchill who went into battle with his bagpipes and Scottish broadsword.

      • And longbow LL!
        He shot jerrys with a longbow.

        Every little British kid should be taught about him.
        🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

      • Hehe yeah! Ze Germans must have been thinking “who is this mad cunt?”.

        I’m surprised Fiddler hasn’t declared his vast estate an independent republic.

      • Allegedly, the sausage noshers defending the beach were ordered not to shoot him as they though he was just some harmless nutcase!

    • What a great nom!!!
      Congratulations MMCM,
      Probably the best ive ever read!

      Like a Boys Own story, it had everything,
      Guns, coupes, a arch Nemisis.
      Smashing.

      Good luck to the fair folk of Sealand,
      I like them much more than the french.

      • Thought you’d enjoy it, MNC. It does have the makings of a great film. But who would you cast as Prince Michael?

      • Im not sure MMCM?

        Not many actors im fond of, maybe Paddy Considine or Stephen Graham,
        I like both of those.

        How about you?

      • I can’t act to save myself. My last role was an Indian Chief in the school play when I was 5. And I only got that because I didn’t have to say anything except “how” – or at least I would have said that if I hadn’t forgotten my lines.

      • Oh sorry – you meant what actors would I favour rather than would I take on the role ! Duh! How about Patrick Stewart (cunt).

    • If Bob Hoskins had fucked Putin and the latter had shat out a little ankle-biter, he’d resemble this twat.

      Vivė le Revolutíon!

  9. Definitely Heroes but I do take issue with those who have suggested that they should have hung the hun. Surely gassing is more appropriate?

    • If they got Blair for treason in Sealand, I would definitely plump for the drop. Imagine the little girly scream as Anthony fell through the trap door.

  10. I do hope they both dressed as the Duke of Wellington.

    Or possibly Blackbeard.

    A splendid tale of eccentric English fellows.

    • I do think they should have shot the Jerry as well.

      Or hung the beggar off a gantry in an iron cage.

      Jolly good show.

    • UT@ – Afternoon Unkle – exactly, and anyone who sees off the filthy Hun gets my automatic support – the sausage snaffling short wearing blaggards!
      If I had the money I would construct a “significant” artificial island 14 miles offshore – lots of shallow areas where it can be done!
      There would be a LOT of machine gun towers in The Republic of Foxland, and a rather strict entry policy.

  11. ISAC should become a colony on a uninhabited island in the North Sea.

    Everyone pissed by dinnertime,
    The odd murder,
    All ‘moon’ passing boats,
    Any dinghy types rock up give em what the Faroe islanders give the whales!!

    Itd be spiffing👍
    The simple life,
    Everything I enjoy!

    Cooking meat outdoors,
    Raging bonfires,
    A necklace of ears,
    And drunken accidents😁

    • Mnc@ – I like it! The sea will run red with their blood!
      Not sure who’s blood exactly, but I am a big fan of shoot first and ask questions later – can’t be too careful with these foreigners!
      Shifty no good fkin foreigners..

      • It’d be like Lord of the Flies meets Colonel Kurtz’s jungle camp.

      • MMCM@ – “Stockport on sea”!
        My island will be called The Republic of Foxland (no Frenchies allowed unless it is to test the gallows!)

  12. On a par with princes of the UK? No need to be cruel, MMCM; The Bates family look like they’ve worked a day in their lives.

    Not heroes, not cunts, just eccentrics.

  13. Hopefully a fuckin great monster wave will come along and flatten the fuckin structure.

    • Cracker isnt it Dick?!

      Ive been the gym after a long break from it.
      Fuck me, I was breathing out my arse at the end.☹️

      Ill ache like fuck tomorrow .
      Soon get back into it though.

      You still play rugby Dick?

      • Nah,not any longer,Mis….I don’t bounce back up the way I did when I was younger and if I got injured now there’s nobody else to do the jobs around the place.

        Like to think that I’m basically pretty fit though.

      • Makes sense.
        Know you loved it.

        I was a bit shocked how out of shape id gotten.

        Id be fucked if it wasnt for my job being so physical.

        I used to be at the gym at least 4times a week,
        And would do hill walking and long walks.
        Im starting back at it.

        Healthy body
        Sick mind.🙂

  15. Instead of shipping all those darkıes to Rwanda, perhaps they could be processed in Sealand?
    And by processed, I do of course mean processed like kebab meat.
    Can humans be pulped and mulched into petrol and diesel?
    I’d happily pay £3 per litre if it was made from dropping spongers into mincing stations.

    • Ho ho, “mincing stations”…that’s what happens when you alight from the train at Brighton.

    • I think I’m warming to Liz Truss. She says she wants “urgent action to get spades in the ground”. A bit extreme, possibly, but her heart’s in the right place.

  18. I was a bit jealous at first, until I clocked the photos.
    Playboy Mansion it ain’t!

  19. This is what this site is fantastic for, learning things one never knew about.

    Why was I not taught this at school, it would have received just as much attention as my English teachers tits (which were rather amazing).

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