Help wantedj

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Are you a regular, long standing user of this site?
Are you honest and reliable? (of course you are)
Can you spare a little of your time?
Are you a bit of cunt (maybe just a little bit)?

Many regulars feel that this one of the few bastions of free speech on the interwebby thing, so if you want it to continue and prosper, and –

if your answers to the above are ‘yes’, we ask you to consider joining our small admin team.

Please send us a confidential message via the contact form.

(This message will be displayed top of the list for a few days. New posts will still appear below it)

34 thoughts on “Help wantedj”

  1. How much does it pay and will I be sacked if I don’t get jib jabbed?

    The pay is the lesser amount of sweet FA and bugger all. With the benefits to match of course.
    As for our being jabbed policy, I’m glad you brought that up. No one ever mentions this issue, so we should have a debate. Fnar fnar – NA.

    • Do you provide a uniform?

      And I would, of course, insist on a wheelchair and a bib.

      • Still no response to my job application after 30 minutes.

        How dare you NA. I’ve never been rejected for a position in my life.

        May I suggest you yodel up your woman’s cunt and listen to the echo whilst at it.
        😉

        To be fair, messages sent via the contact form don’t go to me. That’s handled by Darth, I mean, Chief Admin. – NA.

        And I can confirm there’s fuck all in the mailbox so stop grandstanding – Big Boss Admin

  2. I’d be happy to have my old admin role back now my account problems are sorted.

    Noted. Ta muchly – NA.
    (Notice how I make it sound like it’s up to me. 🙂 )

    • …better still….their home addresses.

      Hold the ‘phone – we have a winner! – NA

  4. Too much of a cunt to get involved running stuff for other cunts…….

    At least that’s honest – NA.

  5. Maybe the advert could be jazzed up a bit but then how do you sell a zero hour contract for a keeper on The Island of Dr. Moreau?

    I’m much better at crossing the lines than I am at enforcing them. I will support any and all candidates though.

    One of the ‘perks’ is you get to take DA for a walk when it’s his nurse’s day off – NA.

    • That made me howl with laughter, NA, so thank you muchly.

      The downside is you will have to clean his cage as well – NA.

      (Ignore the mutterings of NA. He is only jealous given that he’s only let out of his gimp suit to do the night shift – Day Admin)

      • Brilliant! When did you recruit Harvey?

        Comparing DA to Harvey. Love it! Although I think our Harv might not appreciate the comparison – NA.

      • Da, I think it’s having a satsuma taped in his mouth that makes him mutter.
        It’s hard to speak clearly with a mouthful.
        NA quite likes the gimp mask, he told me it feels like a hug.

    • That’s about 80% of the job JP. That and keeping an eye on trolls and breaking up COVID related spats.

      You are not wrong, Lib Liq. Sarcasm & wit are essential qualities. Those picture captions don’t write themselves you know! Sometimes takes me ages to come up with something which I hope gets a laugh. It’s all in a good cause after all – making cunts look worse – NA.

  7. I wish I had the time. I love this place, I just about get time to read all the days cuntings and a few comments before bed. Reminds me I’m not alone in my tiredness of this broken cunt culture we’ve found ourselves in. Hopefully you can find someone that can chip in. Keep up the good fight you bunch of reprobates!
    Why aye

    • You missed out man at the end of your ‘Why aye’. Is it because you are now being forced by the woke arseholes to say “Why aye, non-binary person”?

  8. Well I can’t retire till I’m 70 now so another 15 fucking years but keep me in mind though if we aren’t at war with some superpower. China, Russia , Middle East , Germany or Luxembourg ( you never know sneaky little cunts that they are)

    Noted. If you haven’t already, do send a message via the Contact Us page if you’re genuinely interested. Ta muchly – NA.

  9. Is there any sort of compensation on offer for having to trawl the internet to satisfy the horn of Ruff and CC in providing header pictures for the noms? I suspect this amounts to the bottle of scotch kept in the bottom draw of the filing cabinet for when Diane Abbott is nominated but thought I would ask anyway.

    No compo as such (we’re not Scousers after all), but DA’s nurse doubles as a grief counsellor when needed. So that’s pretty much everyday – NA.

  10. I’d love to apply for the role, but from what I heard both admins have a predilection for fugly types, and have suggestive posters of Flabbott, Butler, Analeaze, Thornbury, Rayner, Phillips and Nagging Bullshitty in the Admin common room.

    So I think I’ll pass.

    It’s true. But DA got dibs on the common room decor, so the cool, intelligent and sophisticated admins (i.e. me) have to put up with it. It’s a burden, but at least I’m in charge of the drinks fridge and have the key! – NA.

    • ***BREAKING NEWS***

      “ADMIN TOWERS DRINKS PARTY SCANDAL ENGULFS ISAC!”

      Yeah, some cunt nicked my drinks fridge key. Heads will roll! – NA.

      • Don’t crowbar it, I have some safe breaking skills. Say the word and I’ll be there, with a grip borrowed from Sis.

  12. I’m a refugee blind black Asian,transsexual, spastic , wheelchair bound gypsy trainee Muslim architect with stammer.
    I tick all the employment boxes. When do I start…..

    You had us at “black” – NA.

  15. I’d love to help keep the interweb’s premier news site afloat but I fear if I did Brandon’s stasi might track me down as an alien subversive and toss me in gitmo.

    Hold on, there’s a knock at the door…

  17. Sounds interesting but I fear I’d end up being like the idealistic newly qualified teacher who’s brought in to teach the worst behaved class at Grange Hill.

    Fed to the lions.

    • I have to agree, Harold.
      I bet you have to have a thicker skin than an alligator, the sensitivity of a Silverback and the empathy of a carrion crow.
      Hang on.
      I think I just described myself.

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