This is for supermarkets for putting shite in a previously nice ready prep dish. Do they really think adding mushrooms instead of salt would fool us?
I have an allergy to mushrooms, of all things, so bad I have to carry an EpiPen.
Normal mushrooms just give me a rash and a fever, but the more exotic kinds could kill me, so Morrisons, explain why, for some reason, your Spag Bol ready prep suddenly has mushrooms in it?
Answers written on the back of many £50 notes, please, you cunts.
Nominated by: Jeezum Priest
The answer is clear JP, M&S want you dead.
11
Ready meals are rubbish, fact! (Just a wee joke there)
Still I get your drift and can only empathise because I remember when I found out that Tesco changed their sausage recipe to swap out whatever it was for Bamboo. I mean bam-fucking-boo? They taste bloody awful – weird ass texture, highly unpleasant.
5
Did someone mention mushrooms?
Mmme, scrummy… 😋
7
You sound like a really fungi. I have so mushroom in my heart for you, Seňor Ruffalo.
8
🤣👍
4
Not wishing to insult anyone with severe food allergies but why would anyone who has an allergy trust ready meals or even restaurants.
Fuck that, make your own stuff so you know exactly what you are eating.
20
I didn’t use to like mushrooms but they’ve grown on me.
8
yep, fungus tends to grow on you, especially tramps feet
7
I like a nice shroom, never laughed so much in my life 🤪.
3
I have food intolerance.
Eyetie shite
Chinky shite
Indian shite
In fact all foreign shite.
Spuds+meat+gravy= happiness.
Mushrooms unless in a fried breakfast should be left growing in cowshite.
7
Those button mushrooms that the supermarkets sell are tasteless shite.
The more exotic mushrooms actually taste like mushrooms.
Besides mushrooms, a true Bolognese sauce would never have onions or garlic.
I read once that one of the ingredients in the shop Bolognese sauce is sugar.
There can’t be a student anywhere who doesn’t have a version of Bolognese sauce that they make, but no cunt would throw a handful of sugar into the recipe.
It’s just there to give the dodgy, tasteless meat a boost.
2
should be a law against putting onions in spag bol
0
The start point for Bolognese sauce is finely cut onion, carrots and celery. Then minced pork and beef and seasonings (original recipe would add veal as well). Add tomatoes and then simmer an hour before adding a glass of milk and simmer another hour or two. Easy to check this (Google is your friend (??!!!!!!) here). So, Bolognese definitely has both onion and milk – not a lot of people know that.
No mushrooms though. So the original cunting remans valid.
6
Agree… them white button mushrooms are a complete waste of culinary space. If I were a woke I’d ban them cos they’re waycist.
2
Leave them in the fridge for a fortnight and they’ll turn black, making them perfectly acceptable. Of course, eating them would likely hospitalise you. Perhaps the left wing would like to test this.
1
Inkcaps are your friend there, tasty, and as they get older they turn into a black runny goo, which is still edible.
Feed them to your favourites, make sure they’ve a lot of alcohol to drink afterwards, sit back and watch the fun…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprine
0
its just Canesten, its been detecting cunty fungus for decades, otherwise known as thrush
2
My spunk smells of mushrooms. And bleach.
4
…bit of a fuckin’ over-share there Anton?
4
Pick wild fungi like me. Far more flavour than shop-bought rubbish, and you get to play Russian Roulette as well.
11
I favour the shaggy inkcap & often bathe in its silken juices.
4
All mushrooms are edible but some only once.
2
I never want to touch swordfish again first time, it was “just” mild food poisoning, 2nd time it came on so b quickly – and violently – that I spent most of the evening in the tapas bar bogs, alternately d-ing and v-ing, excused myself to walk home, and threw encrusted clothes in the bath. 3rd time, I didn’t even have to eat the stuff… It was just on the menu, but I had different fish, which I think was x-contaminated. Bad experience.
3
This isn’t ‘intolerance’ it is stupidity. No-one ever eats foreign muck when on holiday, they stick to all-day full English breakfasts for fucks sake!
3
I like crinkle cut chips. Robertson’s Jam is the best in my book. I liked Uncle Ben’s Rice even before it be came Ben’s Rice. Mint Choc Chip ice cream is brilliant, but the Oklahoma Bomber liked it too – had a couple of tubs of it as his last meal. I enjoy Frank Cooper’s thick cut marmalade, but Hilter had marmalade for breakfast whenever he could. Does all this make my food intolerant?
3
I’m on my 5th quadruple vodka and lemonade of the day but I still want a pint of what you’ve had.
6
They’re probably just trying to save money by bulking up recipes with cheaper ingredients, still charge more for it though, the days of good cheap food are over thanks to the albino Ali baba and his gang of forty thieves, I quite like mushrooms, allergies certainly are a cunt!!!
6
Food intolerance?
Nonsense – got a mate who is allegedly “allergic to seafood” so I handed him a prawn sandwich, no reaction apart from attention seeking by rolling around on the floor going bright red, gasping and clutching his throat..
9
Yeah! Mates can be real cunts sometimes.
2
Similar experience. I had given my mate peanuts to see if he was really severely allergic. He was. But he was also grateful for the experiment. So much so, he kept trying to gift me his EpiPen. Really kind of him.. he was really keen I should have it.
I cherish it now.
2
All they need is a general all-encompassing label on ALL food items that says….Beware! This food can kill you!
1
How about ‘WARNING: THIS ITEM MAY CONTAIN FOOD’
2
I once saw a warning on a packet of salted peanuts that said ‘Warning; may contain nuts’.
It was in America…
2
That’s a classic, Ron. I also like the pictures they put on the cardboard sleeve that says ” serving suggestion”, like you can somehow magically separate the meat from the mash and serve them side by side.
I don’t even decant them onto a plate, saves washing up.
2
Appreciate your problem JP.
The missus is highly gluten intolerent, and really likes in when she finds something she’s looking for that’s gluten free. The problem is, she’s learned the hard way that just because something’s been like that for years, it doesn’t mean that the cunts won’t suddenly start adding wheat for some reason without actually saying anything. She therefore can’t assume, but has to check every time.
It’s not just a matter of inconvenience, even a crumb or two can provide a really serious reaction in some people.
3
RK@ – My younger Brother has anaphylaxis caused by wasp stings – gets stung, goes to A&E.
2
All politicians and celebrities should have to state any food allergies by law.
Gives us a fighting chance to level the playing field.
Ive ground two large bags of salted peanuts into a fine dust and im itching to test one of these fuckers unsubstantiated claims of nut allergies.
Come on!!!!🖕
3
Only mushroom claim to fame moment was in the film The Ipcress File, where young Michael Caine is in the supermarket and his boss asks him why he is buying the more expensive tinned mushroom, says he is paying for the label “Champignons”, Harry says “no these taste better”. The truth is all tinned mushrooms are vile and a curse from Satan, Shiitaki mushrooms are nice in a stir fry though.
1
Tinned mushrooms! Imagine the smell when you open them, bleugh!
The only thing I can think of that’s worse, apart from dog/cat food, is tinned sprouts. Yes, really. They tend to appear at this time of year, just until 24th, then vanish like early morning mist until next year.
2
Just in case you think I’m an idle cunt, who can’t cook and lives on ready prep, fast food and Ginsters, I can and do cook. Especially this time of year, hearty stews and casseroles, nice chunky soups. The slow cooker is never used so much.
Just occasionally, when I’ve got a busy day and no time to defrost or prepare something, a ready prep comes in handy, but the spag I actually bought for the granddaughters tea, then found out she wasn’t coming, so waste not etc.
2
I’d had it previously, it was pretty good with a good dollop of parmesan, so never thought to recheck the ingredients. Luckily, I spotted the mushrooms before I ate it.
1
Most of the cunts drown Spag Bol in grated cheese and ketchup, anyway.
I like to add plenty of Merlot to my spaghetti bolognese-whilst cooking, in the pan and whilst eating the fucker👍
2
I like mine slung into the garden while I have steak an chips.😀
4
Evening Mis 👍
I only use White meat in my pasta dishes-chicken or turkey.
Haven’t had a steak in ages😟
3
Me neither, mainly because I haven’t the teeth to chew it. They’re at the Dentists, waiting to be checked for fit, when the gutless pansy decides to start seeing people again.
2
Evening CG👍
I love chicken, and looking forward to turkey at Christmas!
Me and the dog strip the carcass till it looks like Victoria Beckham.
I dont eat pasta though.
Mussolini ate pasta.😁
2
Red wine is essential, also bol sauce is great on a jacket spud, or a pizza.
#not just for pasta
2
Same here👍
Best thing about winter-a hearty warming meal after a day outdoors👍
2
Hmm. Food intolerances and allergies. I think I do feel sorry for those genuinely affected (affect or effect. Effect or affect, well that stupid f’in advert doesn’t help)
Anyway. The problem is all the chancers who say they have allergy when they don’t. It’s a bit like that annoying tannoy at the shops “not all disabilities are visible” Too right. That’s because ‘not all disabilities are real’
It’s the band wagon of attention seekers and work dodgers that spoil it for the real cases.
My work is half empty because people are still ‘shielding.’ shielding from what? Most because they once had a diagnosis of asthma. Another band wagon of non existence in the main.
Mushrooms however are cunts.
1
I’d hate to have to ingest a toad’s tool.
Red with white spots , brrrhhhh
1
Mushroom allergic? I never even knew that such a thing existed. I guess that includes all varieties of fungi
1
Yes indeed. I have to avoid it all. Truffles especially, at this time of year a lot of stuff has truffles, you know the Deluxe this and The Best that. I have to be really careful at Christmas.
And yet again I said the C word and didn’t get struck by lightning.
0