(Rise and Shine! – Day Admin)
A list of things not to do at the gym so as to not be a cunt to your fellow gym goers:
- 1) Don’t fart. We don’t want to smell the inside of your putrid colon.
- 2) Don’t stand in front of the weight rack and do your exercises. The rest of us need to get to the weights too. Take a couple steps back you cunt!
- 3) Don’t ask me if I’m using a machine that is 3 meters from the one I’m using. If I’m not on it, I’m not using it stupid! And don’t ask me this as I’m doing a set you blind cunt!
- 4) Don’t leave bandages, shampoo bottles, hair, razors, or shit in the fucking shower.
- 5) Put a lock on the locker you use so I don’t have to open 5 lockers to find an empty one.
- 6) Don’t sing out loud to the music in your earphones. You literally sound retarded and make others cringe.
- 7) Wipe your sweat from the equipment you thoughtless slob.
- 8) Don’t set up one half of the gym floor with half the shit in the place and walk away when you’re done. Put shit away you fucking farm animal.
- 9) Don’t grunt loudly and yell as you exert. You come off as a douchebag and startle others. Unless you’re female. That induces fantasies.
- 10) Don’t let me be the only one in the place that reports broken equipment to the staff.
- 11) Throw the paper towels used to wipe the equipment away in the trashcan (rubbish bin?) Don’t leave them in the bottle holder on the machine with 5 other wads with no room for my water bottle you lazy fucking cunts!
Ahh That was cathartic.
Apologies if my American vocabulary is confusing. Feel free to inform me of your words in your comments.
Thank you.
Nominated by: Meat Curtains
Guaranteed that picture will give ‘someone’ the horn.
Fairly sure the title of this nom could have been shortened to ‘people.’
Good article in the Observer today…
https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2021/10/03/reblog-nick-cohen/
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If that doesn’t winkle out B&WC then nothing will.
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All the above made me cancel my membership and install a pull up bar at home.
Most gyms are chock full of clueless cunts.
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A “pull up bar”? So what beers have you got on draught?
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Got a Gym membership a few years back because mrs Fustula was tired of looking at my moobs and collapsed arse
.
I have never been so bored in all my life.
Running and getting nowhere, Meat heads lifting weights in front of the mirror and blonde bimbos who you can only look at but never talk to. A bunch of narcissistic cunts.
I know it’s a good way to keep fit but i personally found it a fucking chore and began to dread every time i had to go there.
I ride a bike to work each day now and find that more satisfying.
As for the Gym , i would rather have a shag much more invigorating 💪💪💪
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I used to work in a few gyms, they’re all the same, same inconsiderate, obnoxious and surprisingly lazy People (to say they were at the gym). One cunt used to park his Subaru Impreza in the disabled spaces right outside the front door, because why should he have to walk 20ft further to get in to the gym, to exercise, unbelievable?!? Cunt. The gym changing rooms expose just how fucking disgusting some people are, I was called in to the changing rooms one day because someone had shit on the floor, this was in the women’s room, in the middle of the day, and we didn’t allow kids in the gym……fucking dirty cunts
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Johnny Depp said Amber Rudd splattered the bed with loose shite while he was in it, she found it highly amusing.
Must be something the modern woman likes to perform 🤮🤮🤮
Morning Elcuntio
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Wasn’t that Amber Heard?. I like to think if Ms. Rudd shat in the bed, it was the bed of Dominic Grieve. Right under his nose. An especially malodorous one…
Do people still use public gyms?. One local to my home never reopened after the pandemic, so we no longer have the smell of sweat and gunga mixed together,and the rattling of Dark Keys gold chains. Personally, I think that;s racist – not allowing David Lammy wannabe’s to pose in Kentish Town anymore.
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I personally no longer frequent the local gym Mr Boggs, I suppose it’s similar to the people who never eat at the restaurants they work at, because they know what it’s like behind the scenes; although in the case of the gym, I got sick of what was going on front and centre.
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😂😂😂
Yes Amber Heard WC .
I stand corrected. I wouldn’t put it past Amber Rudd though. I suspect she would do a big ole type 4 on the Bristol stool chart and just leave it on the floor for the whole family to play and slide in
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Good morning Mr Fistula, we’ve all been caught short at some point, but this was a definite squat and curler, there was time and care taken. Maybe it was some kind of kink to them, strange.
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Or maybe a cry for help elcuntio ?
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Maybe some tarmacing practice?
1
Near me, you can stand outside the local Gym and watch through the windows, It is in fact, like many large department stores full of people sporting the latest designer wear. Must cost a fortune!
You want to sweat? Have a wank ! (It’s cheaper )
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“Watch through the windows”? I wouldn’t make a habit of that if I were you. You’ll have Commissioner Strapon on your case.
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Is that a young Angie Rayner in the photo? I’m sure I can see Lammy lurking in the background.
Well actually, I can’t see him, that’s the whole point.
3
If you look hard enough, you can just see a set of white teeth, seemingly floating in mid air like the Cheshire Cat.
Much like in the late afternoon on the Labour back benches of the House of Commons, three pairs of floating teeth belonging to Lammy, Abbott and Butler.
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The blackfaced version if the “3 Stooges”,
🙈🙉🙊
2
Why on Earth does anyone go to a gym? I will never forget the unalloyed joy of leaving school and the major element of such happiness was the knowledge that games and PE lessons were history, to be endured no more. Reminds me, a load of twats running around London today. Hopefully it will piss down.
11
Oh yeah, Londonstabistan Marathon today. When a load of black cunts get chased round the streets by a load of white cunts who can never quite catch up with them. Just like a normal day but the white cunts won’t be wearing uniforms and driving a rainbow 🌈 painted car.
(Funny you should mention the Marathon! We have a nom about that going live very soon – Day Admin)
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Ive always economised in life. Why have a six pack when one will do ?
3
I am trying to keep my abs looking like something between a 6 pack and a keg.
1
The thing that turned my stomach most when i had a gym membership was walking in the changing room , the stench of bum and knob would knock you sideways. Especially if some big fat dar ky was rolling back his kidney wiper.
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“The stench of bum and knob!”
I don’t believe you. When did you get an invite to one of Elton’s parties?
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Fat Reg’s kids are well used to the fragrant stench of shit a and knob clay Freddie 🥴
(I should have known not to have scheduled this nom so close to breakfast! – Day Admin)
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I do beg your pardon Admin .
What were we talking about ? oh yes, Gymnasiums
1
I used to know a woman who drove 300 metres to go to the gym and use a running machine. What a pile of cunt.
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What’s a gym?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFrPz1WkBvk
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12) Turn up at the gym wearing a colostomy bag that obviously needs emptying! You’re a dirty cunt, Sir Cliff.
3
The gym I go to when I’m home is on the upper floor overlooking the school swimming pool. Can you imagine just how off putting it is? Building designers have no fucking consideration these days!
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It’s been many a year since I was at a gym MC, but from memory I know exactly where you’re coming from. Many of your points could be levelled at those using the local swimming pool as well, a reason why I’ve stopped going there as well.
As for narcissists, I well remember one cunt at the gym who looked like a character from a superhero cartoon; barrel chest, neck thicker than his head etc.
As far as I can tell, he seemed to spend all day every day lifting weights, and telling every other user of the weights what they doing wrong.
One day I heard him boring on to some poor sod about his diet ‘regime’; twenty lifts earns me a slice of bread’ etc. What a sad cunt.
Morning all.
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After studying the header pic for over half an hour I have concluded it just degrades women 😂
I went to the gym many years ago, hated it but it had its attractions 👍
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Thise blokes in the changing room that just hang around stark bollocko with their knobs hanging out…. put some pants on you queen cunts.
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Those not thise … and queer not queen …
1
I’d add to the list don’t put your water bottle over the nozzle, I don’t want your face herpes you grubby cunt. And old blokes that lurk around the change rooms naked, fuck off and get a rent boy.
2
I am sorry to piss on your fire works, but gym membership is the mark of a massive cunt.
To me it screams, don’t get off my arse all day and have a few other issues.
No fuck the Gym, even with one leg I can shift a 65 kg whacker plate without mirrors.
3
My number 12 would be, Don’t go to the Gym because you’ll just look a bigger cunt than you normally do!
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