A good friend of mine has asked me if I wouldn’t mind child minding his 12 year old daughter tonight, as he and his wife want to spend some “quality time” in Lake Windermere just down the road from here.
My wife and I have done baby-sitting and child-minding in the past (over 10 years ago), and never had any problems apart from screaming babies and hungry preteens.
Of course back then social media was in its relative infancy in terms of risk assessments and the paranoia of “strangers” looking after someone else’s child.
Fast forward 10 years, and I have to say I am extremely nervous at the prospect of looking after a precocious 12 year old (I didn’t like the idea but my wife insisted. End of conversation!)
She’s a nice kid as far as I can tell based on the few occasions I’ve seen her. And like most Gen Zs, she’s glued to her phone/tablet. So it shouldn’t be difficult to keep her occupied until tomorrow morning when her parents pick her up.
However, I’ve told my wife that I want her in the same room as me and the kid at all times. I am so paranoid that the kid might say or do something out of spite if I say “no” to something she wants.
It’s all too easy for friends on social media to say “If he doesn’t let you watch TV, or order a takeaway, just say “I saw you looking up my skirt or sniffing my underwear, you peter file!” And all of a sudden my world turns to shit!
I’m not a parent: we don’t have kids. But I guess the same pressures/threats must exist for moms and dads with pushy kids wanting everything their way or else they’ll label you a Peter File!
I don’t even dare giving her a hug or attempt to hold her hand should we go out for a stroll (with my wife in tow) for of it been construed as a form of child abuse!
I know parents leaving their kids with friends is always a worrying time, but by the same token we too are equally concerned about being accused of something we didn’t do. Who will the parent believe: their darling daughter or just a friendly couple?
Nominated by: Technocunt
I don’t blame you. But it’s sad that men have to take these precautions now. Once upon a time an adult male could chat with a child without coming under suspicion of being a Peter File. Not any more.
I blame the BBC. Cunts.
22
Techno@ – It is a sad state of affairs when doing someone a favour leaves a person open to “unsavoury rumours”.
I was the designated “Family babysitter” for years – I don’t do it anymore as for one I can’t be arsed and secondly I do not want to take the risk of being falsely accused of anything and the resulting witch hunt.
We live in worrying times.
11
Nowt to worry about Techno,
Your missus is there,
And most kids nowadays entertain themselves via computers.
The parents obviously trust you.
Wouldn’t worry about it.
When my kids where about 15yr they had two mates (girls) stay over to stay, watch scary films.
The sofa pulls out into a double bed and they were all sat on it with popcorn in the dark ,
I had been out with the dog for the last walk,
And thought itd be funny to put my hand through the open window through the drawn blinds and grab at them😁
They screamed the fuckin house down!!
Hehehe
I got a right bollocking off the missus.
“Are you stupid?!!”
She demanded.
Don’t need to answer that…😀👍
21
Stay far away from her Techno . Keep interaction to a minimum, try not to talk to her and under no circumstances be alone with her. Ffs this has warning bells and red flags all over it. If you can go out to the pub or sit outside all evening.
14
I just hope Ed Balls never asks me to look after little Yvette. God knows what depths of depravity we could sink to “Go on, do a cartwheel for your Uncle Boggs”.
Be even worse with Liza Nandy – inappropriate touching and Polaroid photographs
As Maurice Chevalier sang “thank heavens for little girls, for little girls get BIGGER every day” – how true.
5
Have a slurp of Lisa’s lusjous norks for me Mr Knee
5
……for little girls get BIGGER every day…..
Don’t they just.
https://www.google.com/search?q=fat+black+woman&client=tablet-android-lenovo-rev2&prmd=ivn&sxsrf=ALeKk03WUzAILAeuihPKFHnFvdnodRQTeA:1625330839708&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiGkd-arcfxAhW-RkEAHRvqCl4Q_AUoAXoECAIQAQ&biw=800&bih=1280#imgrc=xt-vF8UtAUOspM
2
And never forget that light-hearted banter (as in “I’ll wring your bloody neck, you little cunt”) may well lead to your being arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to murder. And that’s been true for at least 25 years. Nearly happened to me once ( my language was far less extreme). I no longer speak to, walk within 10 yards of or look at anyone under 18 without a trusted witness nearby.
10
Stand on her phone accidentally on purpose, that way she won’t be able to post shit about you for days.
8
I used to look after Greta Thunberg when she was a nipper but it all stopped when she fell from the tree landing on her head.
Turned out ok though.
11
Apart from Her face got a bit squashed 😖
12
MNC@ – Have a care with that one – she was truly scary in the exorcist! 😀
I used to get bollocked for letting my 10 year old Niece watch “Bottom”, but didn’t care – I’m a rebel like that!
8
Foxy@
My uncle in Yorkshire was a favourite for me and other nephews, a funny bloke with a childish side and a blind eye to health & safety,
Let kids be kids, enjoy themselves, stitches and Germolene ® can sort any accidents.
He made my older nephews a dalek!
Looked fuckin ace!!
You got inside and the other kids pushed you down the street (it had casters)
A dalek screaming rolling down a hill in Yorkshire.
A sight I’ll cherish till I die.😀
14
We can help you relive that Vernon, plus it gives an insight how Eddie Izzard got his “girl mode” look:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJnDVSuR2X4
3
Why does a twelve year old need baby sitting? I was on a bus on my own aged 6. My uncle was in the Merchant Navy and decided to stop in the Bahamas.Back in the 1970s aged 9 and 8 me and my brother were sent to visit my cousins. We had to change planes in Miami. It was all ok because my mum had put the flight number on a bit of paper when she waved us off at Heathrow. There was obviously no way to tell her we had arrived as you had to book a call a week in advance. Happy days.
12
Jesus! I thought my coach trip to Blackpool on my own was daring. (9y.o.)
7
It was fine as the original Westworld was shown on the plane. I remember it being an actual projected film. Fucking brilliant, and im sure my mum and dad wouldnt have let me watch it
9
Agree , we as kids were left alone overnight the odd occasion aged 9 10 and 12 and we loved it.
Plenty fights with the brothers and watching tv until it ended. Happy days
9
My son who was 9 at the time, went unaccompanied to Japan on his own.
Admittedly my wife and I took him to the airport, signed him over to British Airways and was then signed over to his grandparents in Japan.
He said that the BA childrens area was “like heaven”, Playstations, X Boxes, table top football, free drink and snack dispensers, enormous tv, pinball machines etc.
The following year asked if he could go on his own again.
The experience gave him the confidence to travel on his own at a young age. three years later he was off to Switzerland unaccompanied.
10
Hel grow up strong and be self employed so he can do what he likes and never be told what to think. Top boy.
4
My mate lives in Tokyo with his Japanese wife. If he takes daughter out just with him he’ll get funny looks and sometimes confronted as he’s white and she looks Japanese.
6
@LB
Can completely understand that LB.
Japanese make up between 98-99% of the population (unlike here where the indigenous population is being diluted by the day), and foreigners whilst being treated with utmost politeness and good manners and politeness are viewed with some suspicion.
Possibly with some justification.
I have been fortunate to visit about a dozen or so times, and have witnessed first hand some incredibly disrespectful behaviour towards the Japanese people and their country, including urinating in the streets. I felt totally embarrassed and ashamed as the Japanese are incredibly welcoming and hospitable to visitors.
I do know that some airmen situated at some of the many American airbases in Japan have caused problems over the years for local young women.
Haven’t been for about 10 years or so, has planned to go this year. Thanks to the fucking Chinese and Boris that won’t now happen.
Very much miss Japan, I do hope I get the chance to visit again one day.
Abroad in Japan is pretty good, here is a link to the first of many YouTube clips he has made:
https://youtu.be/nMcfUsGauy0
7
I’d sit in a tree outside and make sure she was fine by using a drone to spy on her and the wife.
Better safe than sorry.
7
Make sure your drone weighs under 250 grams, UT. Otherwise, if you don’t have a license, the Civil Aviation Authority will be visiting you. FACT.
3
Walking back from the ale house last year and down a dark lane there was a woman in front. She crossed over to turn left as I had to and then the fear was obvious on her part. I shouted to her that I would be following for sometime to come and I meant no harm. She eventually relaxed and we walked together.
These wives can be funny at times.
16
It sounds like a trap, run a mile.
PS, definitely don’t frisk her to see if she’s wearing a wire either!
7
Keep well away from her Technocunt. Definitely if anything did happen it would be her word against yours, and I would put good money on you not being believed.
On a slightly different note, I remember many years ago, during a routine check it was discovered that my daughter had some marks on her inner thigh. This was a result of a suspended chair which was attached to either side at the top of the doorframe and which allowed my daughter to bounce up and down, which she clearly enjoyed.
Needless to say I was eyed with extreme suspicion and my late wife and I were called in to see social services. Will never forget it, on the day, just as we were leaving the house my daughter fell over on the front step and bashed her head on the path, causing a large graze.
Further suspicions were aroused, and my wife and I had to attend various meetings until it would appear that we were happy we were not abusing or a threat to our daughter.
I had the good manners to thank social services for the work they do, as I realise there are some extremely spiteful and negligent parents out there.
12
Tell the cheeky Cunts that the taxpayer is already forced to pay them to look after their own brats….benefit-sponging Sods…then tell them to Fuck Off.
14
Just ask her if she enjoyed watching Jim’ll fix it, tell her you’ve got them all on VHS and would she like to watch them with you. She’ll fuck off back home straight away.
4
Ha ha .
And a Garry Glitter albums on display for the parents of little precious to see when they arrive.😱
3
Nearly forgot this Technocunt
No good deed goes unpunished.
2
Kids are alright said the Who.
But then they never babysat Harvey Price.
And that mong Jimmy Pursey reckoned if the kids are united they will never be divided?
Well, I wouldn’t let him babysit.
In my experience theyre best separated,
The sticky fingered, feral cunts.
Rock stars arent my go to for child welfare,
Mickey Jackson asked Annie if she was ok repeatedly,
But its best to phone a ambulance if in doubt.
Dunno what hed done to Annie?
But bet she shat donuts for weeks…
3
Bit of a weird cunting. I bet nothing happened. Technocunt posted this nomination yesterday, I assume, so where is he to tell us what happened? Chances are the girl just behaved herself and was polite. Yes, sometimes life is just uneventful. Yes, weird cunting this.
2
Nom more likely submitted a couple of weeks ago, unless it’s bin fast tracked.
We have a backlog of nominations that don’t quite fit into our typical daily (news) fare. That Miles Plastic one from Yesterday was there for weeks for example. We have 50 in the queue currently. – DA
2
Yeah, it’s an odd entry. A lot of creepy statements from folk here, too on this entry. “Me and the wife and kids are looking after a 12 year old girl for some friends? I feel weird about it.” They probably all had a good time, just chillin’. Honestly, folk need to chill out these days and get on with each other.
3
FIFTY?! Fucking hell. You’ve got to admit that a lot of noms are pure drivel from full-time misanthropes with too much time on their hands? Great site though, one of the last bastions of free speech.
1
Thanks for the compliment,
You little charmer!😀
5
Weirder by far than that, CG, is that in view of Technocunt’s being isac’s self-anointed¹ computer/IT guru, it failed to cross his mind to deploy “technology” to monitor² the whole worrisome experience. Almost palpably not entirely authentic, I’d say.
For different reasons we both await with bated breath Technocunt’s riposte. I’ll be bound (and gagged, as it happens), that his rejoinder will be equally implausible as his putative perturbation and paranoia at the purvue of this pre-pubescent progeny of his pal.
¹ perhaps a trifle ascerbic there, but TC does rather take it upon himself be the resident IT advisor (which I imagine some may even find useful)
² I refer here to anything from IP PTZ cameras (surprised he doesn’t have a few of those handy – I do) to the simple expedient of (covertly or even overtly) recording the proceedings on his phone.
If nothing transpired, as he feared, simply delete the video (and keep quiet about having filmed proceedings if overt). Mutatis mutandis, if his fears were realised as he describes (or worse), he would thereby easily be able to demonstrate that he had done no wrong, rebut the allegations, and quite possibly have the satisfaction of seeing the nasty little brat frogmarched to the child psychologist for mental health assessment.
Bit “school of the bleedin’ obvious”, I’d say.
4
Erratum
(…and keep quiet about having filmed proceedings if covert).
0
Dude, his wife’s TRUSTED FRIENDS asked her to look after their kid. This isn’t a Harvey Weinstein scenario. Jesus Christ, take a chill pill fellow cunters!
3
My dear Mr Gordon: if I was as worried as Technocunt describes in the nom, I’d politely decline – my partner’s pleadings notwithstanding, and TRUSTED FRIEND¹ or no.
In fact, I would personally most likely decline not due to any such fear but because I couldn’t be arsed with the inconvenience and I’m not keen on 12 year old children more generally. No chill pills needed.
¹Can you hear me, mother?
1
I was going to say, do the baby sitting wearing a Go Pro.
1
Right around the same time techno went missing, RTC 🤔
1
If it bothers you that much just refuse to do it. Not being a cunt. I wouldn’t have other people’s snotty kids staying in my house. Fuck that shite.
2
There are lots of things I’d rather do than child minding. One of them is remove my nose with a bastard file.
1
Off topic
In 2014 Nigel Farage was accused of scaremongering for saying he projected 250,000 Romanians would come to Britain.
The actual figure is closer to 920,000.
If local crime figures anything to go by, would suggest the figure should be higher. That, or all 920,000 have come here.
8
My mate had to move from his flat as the Romanians below generated more decibels than a Motorhead concert. I’ve seen Romanians on the high street and they are a loud as fuck socially clueless breed who clearly hate the English language. They look like they wouldn’t think twice about cutting you. It’s that cunt Nicolae Ceaușescu’s fault, he turned a great country and great people into a total shithole and it never really recovered unlike some other Commie countries.
3
In other news:
https://www.gov.uk/government/news/uk-secures-the-rights-of-millions-of-eu-citizens
That 6 million is about double the last figure I saw. And if Brexit consists of increasing the entitled citizenry of this country by 12% at a fucking stroke without actually consulting the natives, then I think I can finally agree that Brexit was a complete con perpetrated by cunts whose heads should be put on pikes and displayed on London Bridge.
5
All found at your local carwash scanning the RFID from your key and looking at the posh bastards sat navs. Soon on the way to the Bulgarian Mafia. Thank me soon. Bit of Tinfoil will stop the problem.
0
“Owzaboutthatthen,Brrrrr Brrrrr”
“Eyes,nose, mouth and quim
Come and play with Uncle Jim”
1
Well I remember when chatting with the girls in the bike shed, sharing a smoke, telling dirty jokes, having a bit of a feel up, nothing came of it, how I miss being a Caretaker.
Well seriously, whats going on with this crap can be found at ‘thoughtsofstone.com’.
I have copies of stuff taken down through telling the truth if anybodies interested but as he explains, the metal stability due to female hysteria of the general population comes into question frequently though history. Sad to say we are in one now but from an academic point of view living it is interesting.
0