Victoria Coren-Mitchell

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A toffee-nosed, patronising, ‘Head Girl’, ‘you’re so immature’ cunting for the famous hypocrite and bore off the telly, Victoria Coren-Mitchell.

After having seen her act offended by the hijinks of Godfrey Bloom when she hosted Have I Got News For Chimps, I heard her being interviewed by comedian chum Richard Herring and she confirmed my impressions of her being a snooty, boring, feminist hypocrite.

Another one at the BBC doing well off the family name (daddy was Alan Coren) she goes straight into the dustbin marked ‘uppity, public school girl, feminist and broadcaster’, along with the Aristos Pheobe Waller-Minge and Miranda ‘Norris-Thing’ Hart.

As Camille Paglia might say, far from being an empowered modern woman, she’s one of the spoiled liberal sheltered middle-class women who act like fainting ladies of the 18th century at any transgressive opinions. her type who can’t stand men and male behaviour and write stupid columns about banning sports to be read by no one.

Always sold as a bit of ‘thinking man’s crumpet’ she has never said anything requiring much thought. Most her schtick is just ‘ugh, men!’ and crap anecdotes on QI and Radio 4.

I know the sort of crowd the BBC producers want to pull in; Douglas Adams/Terry Pratchett fans. Twee little blokes who quote Monty Python and say ‘M’lady’ and ‘Actually..’ before they correct you on some trivial matter and some of them fll for it. Men who sneer at sports because they know they’re neither strong or fast enough to play.
It’s her, Sue Perkins and Alice Roberts wanked over by autists who think being a vocal atheist is still fashionable.

You know David Mitchell is constantly henpecked by that bossy mare, the poor little fucker. I don’t mind a bit of a bossy streak and haughtiness but when done so primly and tiresomely by the likes of strident, overly earnest humourless femstapo bints like her it’s very boring.

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

62 thoughts on “Victoria Coren-Mitchell”

  2. I don’t care about this nom as I hear she likes a bit of PokeHer (apparently a bit of a pro and has allegedly won some decents amounts).

    I would not kick her out the bed too early, she has two lovely cushions.

  3. Snooty posh tart.
    Use, abuse then discard, or sell to some bed sheet wearer called Achmed…

    “I give you many camels, effendi” 😁

  4. She’s not the worst offender on television and reasonably attractive. Perkins and Geidroyc, however, are beyond the pale.

    • I get the distinct impression from looking at her that Mel would take up up the arse gladly.

      • She always comes on heavy with the sexually frustrated slag routine. She might just be doing it to distance herself from lesbo gobshite Perkins.

  5. I’d let her tackle my pole but she’d have to keep schtum. It’s not the accent, as I adore a bit of posh, it’s the nasally condescension in the horse whinny.

    She’s made a career out of shite parlour games and being a token woman-with-brains. Women can’t stand her and men are looking at the fun-bags.

    A three-pinter.

    • Three pinter? Fucking hell, you’re easily pleased – she’s at least a 6 pinter. I do agree, however, that she is a tv cunt of the first magnitude. And I definitely wouldn’t fuck her as she’s overly plump. With mammaries that size, she’d damage your knees giving you a blowjob. I’ve never liked her, with her condescending manner and eminently punchable face.

  6. No.

    No, no, no.

    I object to this nomination.

    I would crawl over a mile of broken glass to wank over her shadow. Imagine between the meat in a television sandwich with the lovely Victoria and Bettany Hughes.

    Sorry, what were we talking about again?

    • All this naughty chat is getting me fired up on a Monday. Now you’re talking…

      Question is which one gets porked first…

    • In her younger days, Bettany made archeology rather fascinating.
      For a couple of reasons…

      • Bettany has piled on the pounds in recent years and I’m not referring to her bank balance.

        However, the advantage of this is that your thighs will make a lovely slapping noise against her arse cheeks as you bang her doggy style.

    • She gives me the right horn. I record Only Connect and it sometimes takes me 3 hours to watch it.

  7. As soon as I read the nomination, without even clicking to see the attached nom pic I thought – Tits!

    I wasn’t disappointed.

  8. Send her this way for the cunting punishment

    She would look alot better with my ball bag bouncing on her chin

  12. CP’s nomination is spot on, sadly she escapes most of the opprobrium she’s due because some can’t see past the tits. Physically, yes, she’s my sort, but constantly behaving like there’s a shitty smell under her nose, plus the nepotism of her being on the telly in the first place are most unattractive.

  13. As a side note did anyone actually find Alan Coren funny? I know he was on Call My Bluff and was consistently the least talented one. Is that his legacy? He’s no Barry Cryer let’s face it.

    • He did the News Quiz on Wireless 4 in it’s early years with Richard Ingram, they were quite droll and witty (not Chris Witty) probably some of the woke tarts and poofters who pollute it now were not even born when they held forth. Alan Coren was the last editor of Punch, I think?

      • He was the last editor who saw decent cirulation figures. It was never that funny, a few decent cartoons, mild whimsy. That Al Fayed cunt relaunched it for some reason in the 90s. Still, it never pretended to be anti-establishment like Private fucking Eye.

  14. I completely agree with your description of her CP, but she has got a grand pair of knockers .

  15. I can imagine her equally snooty husband Dave will breed like rabbits and they will send the girls to Roedean and the boys to Harrow.

    I don’t like modern telly women – you can’t beat Lady Isobel Barnet, Diana Rigg and Angela Rippon – ladies of quality, grace and beauty.

    • Crikey….. Lady Isobel on What’s My Line I just about recall. Didn’t she get kicked off for shoplifting? These days she’d get a pay rise!

      Diana Rigg, oh yes! First ever pre-teen, er, crush imagining myself in a headlock from her !

      Maggie O Neill used to possess the best tits on TV, sadly no longer and Carole Langrishe yep hot hot hot.

      What about Sarah Louise Young?……

  16. Always had a fantasy about her and Nigella La-de-da Lawson lezzing up with some whipped cream, jelly and a couple of Flakes!

  18. Despite his left leaning politics I am a big fan of Richard Herring RHLSTP podcasts (and a Twitch of Fun).

    There are several people he has interviewed however that I won’t watch because I cannot bear them as people- VCM being one, others include Russell Brand, Nish Kumar.

    He is a prolific worker and can still make me laugh out loud with his silliness. Anyone that can do that with the desperately dire state of comedy these days certainly gets my vote.

  19. Apart from her not looking that good without her makeup on.
    I would quite happily nut in it and then proceed to wipe my cock on her expensive curtains.
    What she really needs is a man who will teach her where her place is.

  20. Looking down her nose at those who pay her inflated salary through the BBC propaganda tax.
    Send to Pakistan, see if she screeches and whines her pseudo intellectual misandric wimminz shit there.

  21. I concur with this cunting. Typical ‘successful’ due to nepotism, talentless, snooty, rich, privileged daddies girl. Her brother the ‘food critic’ is quite the cunt too if I recall.

    She may have big jugs but she’s got an arse for a face without her makeup on.

  22. I quite like the snooty types, can be really dirty in the sack.
    Little bit of meat on her in all the right places. Gives me the horn and certainly would drain my spuds in her.

  23. Old Victoria is a right hottie in my opinion.

    She used to write porn reviews back in her earlier days.

  24. I would happily tongue her starfish providing that nasal whining lefty cunt of a husband hadn’t been up there beforehand.

    • I bet she takes it up trap two.

      Can’t imagine that beehive-faced lefty wankstain of a husband is attending to her needs.

  25. Good poker player though. Many of nights on Channel 5. I watched them wangers come to light. The other option was Question Time with Sign speaking. Couldn’t understand the original program let alone signing.

    • I agree Harold. Coren Mitchell is seen by some cunts as ‘sexy’ like that hag Maitlis. But both are smug arrogant tarts who love the sound of their own voices. That Victoria Derbyshire is another one of them. All three think they are God’s gift.

      Emilia Fox is top quality though.

      • What about Rosamund Pike as well Norm.
        I’m not usually one for the older ladies, but there are a few exceptions.

        Victoria Coren Mitchell reminds me of a female teacher acquaintance I once had. She was alright, but she had this habit of talking to everyone as if they were a naughty 10 year old school boy. Grated on me a bit.

      • Rosamund Pike is nice, Harold.
        Another one is Alexandra Mohen. She was the Master’s Mrs in the pre-woke Doctor Who. She was well tasty.

    • If it takes you as long as it has to comment on this nom, then you’d definitely be a late cummer.
      😊

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