Sports Science and modern coaching

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Sports Science and modern coaching is ruining sport. Some sports are already destroyed due to its influence. I’m going to use football as my example.

I’ve been a huge football fan since I was a nipper back in the late 70s. In recent years my interest has waned. It finally became something I do not care about after the BLM bollocks and empty stadium football.

But I was getting bored of it way before BLM and bat flu. How so?

Well, I think it’s because every team plays the same way. There may be small formation changes, but the premise is the same. Everyone now plays like Germany to put it in simple terms.

Zee Germans were the first to want only athletes in their team back in the late 70s. Hans Peter Breigel being a perfect example. A 6ft muscular former decathlete. Pretty shite player in terms of ability, but his ‘engine’ made him a useful player. Gerd Muller received a lot of criticism from coaches and fans in Germany over the years for not being an athlete, despite an incredible goal scoring record.

This meant Germany (or West Germany as it was then) turned up to world cups with a squad of athletes who could run all day and who played the percentages. It was very effective too, with a very average team winning the Euros in 1980 and becoming runners up in World Cups ’82 and ’86.

It took a while to catch on elsewhere, but by 2010 the World Cup was ruined. Brazil now also played like the Germans. As did the African teams. European coaching and the influence or sports science created every team playing the same way. Even the East Asians are in on it now. And yes, talented players do get in teams, but they need to work for the team and know how to press and run all day. They must not take chances too and stick to playing the percentages, unless they’re on the Ballon D’or list. People harp on about the 2018 World Cup being the best. It was exciting at times, but every team played the same way (or attempted to). I found it rather dull and predictable for this reason.

Yes, the players are fitter, the game is faster and a slacker is found out quickly and will not survive…but the flair and contrast in styles has gone. Players (unless they are outrageous talents like Messi) now can’t take chances. They have to play the percentages. That 70 yard ball to the striker from a Hoddle or Platini? Hardly see them nowadays. The showboating passing (Brazil in scoring their 4th in the ’70 final)? No chance you’ll be seeing that anymore.

It used to be that the Africans would be naive but big dirty bastards. The Asians would be small, quick and skillful but lack stamina and height.

The Europeans would (mostly) be physical but have a few mavericks in their teams that they’d rely on. They usually had the best defences.

The South Americans would be skillful but cheating cunts. They’d also be dirty bastards when needed. Usually good going forward but seemed to have dodgy keepers and defences that could switch off. However, if they had one or two real talents in their teams they could be almost impossible to beat.

This diversity of styles made for some great games. Now, I know Team A will press Team B and try and work an opening. Just a glint of space is needed 30 yards out to create a chance. Sure, the players need to be good, but they really just need to be extremely fit and well drilled.

It’s like watching a load of robots now and has become boring. I don’t know much about rugby, but a mate of mine does and he claims the same is going on in rugby too with everyone copying South Africa’s style of play for the same reasons.

Sports science is the equivalent of the call centre (worked in one about 20 years ago for a few soul destroying months) versus an old fashioned office. Sure, it’s more efficient now some little Adolf times your bog break and how many seconds your calls take on average or how long it takes you to fill in a piece of admin (“Your filling in of the PS46 is taking you .37 of a second over the average so I’m giving you a warning”), but nobody fucking enjoys it anymore. Staff are lost and the business suffers in the end.

Sports Science and modern coaching can fuck off. Bring back the boozy mavericks.

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks 

49 thoughts on “Sports Science and modern coaching”

  1. Sports Science is a synonym for ’18 year old lunk-head leaves school without the wherewithall to do any normal jobs, so let’s send him to University for 3 years then get him in the Local Authority gym on £6 an hour’.

    • I’m severely allergic to the Bastard Brainwashing Cunts so can’t click on that. RIP Dave Prose then.

    • Gene:
      I watched a documentary on YouTube on David, a while back.
      His hips/ legs were fucked😢
      He was the first famous person I ever met-he came to our school as the green cross code man👍

      No respect for the photo in your link-had to find a photo full of black kids-they Just can’t give it a rest can they☹️

  4. Your friend was right about the rugby…there used to be a place for nearly everyone….even the most barrel-shaped Cunt could play in the front-row…didn’t really matter if you could run or not,just as long as you could waddle between scrums and the odd ruck or maul…nobody really minded if nipped to the touch-line for a quick pint and draw on a smoke. Weedy types could also find a place…normally cowering away until presented with the ball by the Forwards,

    Now every player is meant to be a 16 stone athlete capable of running Mo Farah to earth…it’s a fucking disgrace. Luckily we still stick to the old-style selection policy at my rugby club…probably why we never win a fucking game.

    • And, as you get older and slower, you always gravitate towards the pack. Not speaking from experience, honest…

    • Correct Dick, especially in rugby league where the scrum hasn’t been contested for years. All 13 seem to be 13-14 stone quick half backs.. Still enjoy watching it though.

  5. It’s all about money. The more money is involved the more competitive it becomes and the more essential these sports science cunts become. Especially the sports science cunts who specialise in chemical enhancements. Yes, Mohammed Farah i’m talking about you, you cheating Somali pretend British motherfucker!
    If there was any money in hopscotch there would be cunts doing weights and shoving shit down their throats to improve their performance.
    Actually, I might be quite good at that. I was a bit of a hopscotch star in my youth.

  6. That ticky-takka strategy that the Spanish cunts came up with bored me to shit and has been adopted by loads of teams. Greece winning the 2002 Euros was also a turning point in showing how a boring as fuck team could win a cup by using sports science.

    • You have saved me typing-for me, Greece winning by parking the bus and hitting on set pieces, showed where the game was heading☹️

  7. Anybody else watched the “exhibition” between Mike Tyson & Roy Jones Jr?
    Don’t bother-just watched the full fight on YouTube…..😒
    8×2 min rounds of Roy “holding on” and Tyson playing. Ok-these lads are over 50, but fuck me, what a dull fight👎
    A body paying for pay-per-view needs their bumps feeling.

    The commentary was laughable-obviously a white chap assisted by 2x dark keys, who threw in such gems as:
    “Sheeeeiitt, looks like two uncles at a bbq, having a row”

  8. As a (former) sports fan I have to say this is a very solid cunting. In the states, this so called “analytical” approach has absolutely ruined the game of baseball. We now have very well conditioned athletes, who have the physical ability but lack the fundamental skill set of previous generations.

    To add insult to injury, in the past we watched the game and we trusted our eyes. We knew intuitively who was good and who was a slug. Now we have to listed to some idiot sportscaster babbling statistics and telling us that while some slug may have muffed the play, it really doesn’t matter because the percentages say this, that or the other thing.

    Well cunted.

    Merry Christmas to all. 🎄

  10. Old fashioned footie used to involve players having a quick fag and a pasty at half time to ensure they had the energy to “go again”. I used to watch local farmers’ teams kicking lumps out of each other for ninety minutes every Saturday before going home for their tea. Proper sport for proper men.

  11. There’s always dwarf throwing to fall back on. If you adopt the approach taken by ‘hammer’ eventists the little fuckers go miles.
    The fitness regime consists of practice with children and a diet of steak and kidney puddings with ale.

  12. For your viewing pleasure, John Motson getting chewed up for arse-paper, by Brian Clough. Can you imagine him guesting on Match Of The Day, nowadays? Linekar would be perpetually offended and have to cry to Twitter. Enjoy:

    https://youtu.be/Kd8wKQo2M6U

    • Crikey Gene, what a refreshing interview although well done Motson too for sticking to his guns.
      Faackiin hell what would Cloughy make of the modern day unwatchable MOTD with all those imbeciles on £500k and up pontificating?!
      And modern managers are so fucking star-struck by their players and agents that a modern day Trevor Francis would be demanding a pay rise or a transfer if spoken about like that. But Cloughy was RIGHT!!!

  13. When I played my first game for a new club the manager said he was going to pull me off at half time.
    I said “fuck me, at the other club I only got half an orange”.

  14. Excellent piece of prose Cunty B. Worthy of a Ph. D. in my opinion. It is so true for nearly all walks of life. I worked in the oil and gas business in the 80s and 90s and it was brilliant – so full if chancers and bullshitters, it made every day a hoot. All modernised and sterile now as full of smart-arse dickheads with masters this and masters that and full of cunting p*kis.

  15. Cunting of the month. I remember in the 80s when Tin man Ted McMinn was spotted on the way to the match with a car full of booze (he was playing) and was a greatly entertaining player.

    I stopped going regularly to see Derby in the 90s because of the price increases and this knee wankery has finished it for me.

  16. And what’s with those brassieres worn outside the shirt.
    Why not wear their pants outside their shorts.
    And a cape.
    Super trans.

  17. Sorry cunty, this nom is all about Football (aka Soccer) (aka Poofs game). so who gives a fuck anyway!

  18. I’ve noticed over the past 10 years, footballers in particular, have become skinny, pansy, bastards. Yes they can run all day, but when commentators describe centre halves as big, strong, brutes and then you see they’re 12 stone wet through, they’re not too intimidating. They’re also not very strong any more. Physiques like Neil Ruddock’s, for example, are only found in pub football now. I appreciate the likes of Adebayo Akinfenwa, playing at 38 and built like a brick shit house. He’s sticking a big middle finger up to the university sports science gimps. It puts too much pressure on kids too, they won’t find fun in playing the game and if they’re a little short, or fat, or slow they won’t want to play sport as they’ll feel they won’t have a chance.

    Bring back the days where some sports people were pissed up, fatties, who couldn’t run. Things were much more fun.

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