The Markles: an everyday story of cunty folk (Vol 2)

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The story so far; Meghan, Duchess of Deceit, continues to plot her step-by-step climb to wealth and power. Now read on.

“Let me see”, said Meagain, glowering maliciously at her computer. “Marry a dim prince… check. Have royal baby… check. Claim victimhood status and flee to LA mansion… check. Next, a blockbuster book dissin’ them Windsor bastards *cackle*. It’ll soon be out!”.

At those last words, her husband, Prince Harry de Halfwit, dropped his “Beano” and leapt up. “What’ll soon be out, lambkins?” he leered gormlessly. “Is it time for Mr Wiggly to pop out again?”.

“Oh for…” hissed the Mistress of Malice. Forcing herself to be calm, she twisted her face into a grimace of a smile cold enough to freeze the River of Hades. “No my love” she gushed. “With so much to occupy you, you’ve forgotten about our book, ‘Finding Freedom’. It’s about our escape from conformity and exploitation in the UK, to a new life of riches and opportunity in the land of the free”.

“What, with your mater living with us? *haw haw* ” he guffawed. “Just my little joke, petal”, he added hastily. “But dash it, old girl, I hope you’ve not put anything in it to offend grandmama. We’re down to our last fifty million, and the pater might cut us off without a bean”. The Prince of Sighs shuffled uneasily and scratched his bald spot. “I say”, he blurted. “Ain’t it written by that johnny Obid Scoobydo or whatnot? He’s a proper odd looking cove if you ask me…”.

“Heavens, keep ya voice down”, snarled the Princess of Perfidy. We’re the Duke and Duchess of Diversity remember! Talk like that could ruin The Plan!”.

“Sorrers an’ all that rot”, bleated the Half-blood Prince guiltily. “Erm… what plan is that, my little pumpkin?”.

The’s Duchess’s eyes focussed on him like lasers. “Why, to be POTUS, of course!”, she said, her tongue flicking greedily across her glossy lips.

“Ah”, said Halfwit blankly. “Erm… *a-hem* what exactly is a POTUS, my pet?”.

“Jesus H Chraast, Harry”, snarled Meghan. “President. Of. The. United. States.”.

“But why can’t I be President?” whined the Duke sulkily. “I’m the chap here, you know, even if you do wear the trysers. I want to fly about in that big jet, and get driven around in limosines, and have even more flunkies, and lecture the common people about the climate and stuff while they pay all the bills…”.

“You’ll do all that at my side”, oozed the Madame of Manipulation. “You’ll be *cough* ‘First Lady’ or something, and redecorate the White House. Don’t worry about it and remember our arrangement. I’ll do the thinking, and you don’t”.

“If you say so, heart’s delight”, bleated the Duke Of Dim doubtfully. Then his guileless features brightened. “Isn’t it aboyt time for Mr Wiggly to play now?”.

“Oh Jesus”, whispered the Duchess, rapidly glancing at her diary. “I can give you fifteen minutes now”, she said grudgingly, but that’ll be all until Christmas. I’ve got a coast-to-coast book-signing and tv schedule to plan”.

“I say, look here”, said Halfwit indignantly. “Christmas, you say? That’s not the kind of thing a chap wants to hear when a chap gets married…”.

To be continued….

Nominated by: Ron Knee

(not sure if this is an actual nomination or a bedtime story? But well done anyway, Ron – admin)

58 thoughts on “The Markles: an everyday story of cunty folk (Vol 2)”

  1. I couldn’t read that book, but it seems forced on us in every newspaper, every bit of title-tattle that the little shirt-lifter who wrote it for them, has managed to vomit up.

    Hopefully yhe one good thing toemerge from thisbook will be the permanent exile of the pair of grinning goons from this country.

    Perhaps Prince Phillip could arrange travel arrangements for the grizly trio.

  2. Great nom Ron, what pisses me off about Meghan sparkle tits (and there are many more) is how she is described as a ‘Hollywood actress’. She had a bit part role in a fairly obscure US tv show that nobody I have met has ever watched.

    • I watched the first half dozen or so episodes but I don’t remember her being in it or what it was about. High quality stuff, eh?

    • At one point she described herself as a fashion model and spokesmodel.

      WTAF is a spokesmodel?

      I do so enjoy Ron’s tales of life in the Markle household.

      Makes me titter.

      Morning all! 😁

      • Thanks OB.
        I recently saw Little Miss Sparkle (on one of her many soshul meeja outlets) described as ‘actress, spokesmodel (??) and (get this) humanitarian’.
        Just how far up your own arse is it possible to get?

  3. Fear not fellow cunters, Prince Philip is a dab hand at fixing break lines. We shall soon be rid of these parasites and will have a chance to eat our dinner of the Franklin Mint memorial plate hand finished in the finest 24 carat gold. ( Yours for only £22 per month for 18 months )

    • I don’t hate Harold and Me again, dont feel anything about them.
      Just filed under ‘parasites’ in my head.
      Hes a bastard and he knows this, the royal household will at some point sat him down and told him he hasnt the same daddy as his brother Apache head.
      Thats why hes acting out he doesnt give a fuck because he knows hed never sit on the throne.
      He should get ARAB tattooed on his knuckles
      All royals are bastards.

    • Have faith, the grey haired man that slumbers between green hills, the one true living avatar of Yasur of Tanna shall provide. He hasn’t failed yet.
      Praise be unto Yasur.

  4. I wasn’t aware of such a book. Now I know the truth, Ron. And thanks.

    The couple really have sunk to a new low and broken one of the rules of The Firm – never talk about one’s private life. They need to watch out, cos it’ll be like Diana and her manipulation of the gutter press. The Establishment will cut them off, even in the USA. This has echoes of Wallace Simpson and the Duke of Windsor.

    • Would that mean as Edward VIII and Duchess Walloper did with Adolf they become appeasers to the fourth Reich or the PRC just for publicity and appearance fees?

  5. Nice fairy-tale story, Ron. Probably all to near the truth for a gold-digging, entitled cunt like Sparkletits!

    I wonder if she’s demonstrating in the streets of Seattle with the other bruvvers and sistas in the CHAZ district? Or is she keeping a safe distance behind tall gates and even taller walls and security people in LA, while bending the knee on YouTube and trying to look as if she’s part of the mob with a chip on their shoulders?

    Less said about her two-faced, ginger shit-muncher of a husband the better on this gloriously sunny Friday morning !

    • A talented actress who prized her virginity, attempted to shun the limelight, was ignored by the press, craved a quiet, village wedding, was horribly mistreated by the royal family, loathes money, avoids using the internet to promote herself, seeks out challenging stories in indie films whilst doing minimum-wage theatre, has a healthy relationship with her parents, never uses skin colour to judge a person, always refuses to tell anybody how to live their life, and never, ever admonishes people for travelling by aeroplane while taking it everywhere herself.

      Definitely, certainly, unequivocally not a cunt.

      • Paul, you should pop down to your local charity shop. Such is her philanthropy, she’s bound to be working there as a volunteer.

      • I hear that she donates all her gowns to charridee when she’s had them on once.

      • Probably auctioning them off for charity, Ron.

        Help The Markle (reach a £billion)

  7. This pair of cunts annoy the shit out of me. One minute they are moaning about privacy, the next, everywhere lecturing about some hypocritical do gooder shit.
    Are cunts really as interested in them as much as the media think so? Hurry up and fuck off.

    • Attention whore markle and harry the bastard, what could possibly go wrong? Is suicide squad still running? Fairly drunk now it being friday, fuck it.

  8. She is a nasty piece of work.Stay in La La Land Sparkle tits.And don’t come back.Harry was a twat marrying her.Bye!!!!!

  9. A book? Is that pink hued old harridan still alive to write it, what’s her name, Barbara Cartland, that’s it.
    It’ll sell, perhaps sparkleflange can get some tips from Katie Price.
    Take note Lizzy, go woke,go broke.

  10. Nice story ron I’d say you hit the nail on the head we should take bets for how long the marriage will last I reckon a second kid on the way then she will fuck him off gold plated payment scheme from the british tax payer allowing fanta balls access to his kids pay up else no access
    Shes a fucking vampire and hes a mong that never learned that you certainly fuck hoodrats but you never marry them silly boy

  11. Nipples like 5/8″ bolts or as my father used to say “nipples like chapel hat pegs”. Pics on tinternet (can’t do links) indicate this. Hot as fuck, but a mahoosive cunt.

    • My old man used to say “nipples like Scammell wheel nuts”
      How wonderfully evocative.

    • No number of wing nut-like nipples could make up for her pipe cleaner legs.
      It’s a wonder they don’t snap clean off at the ankles.

      • “Like two aspirins on an ironing board” – The revered St Jade of Goody the Blessed about the equally titless and talentless, Kiera Knightly.

      • Liberal kiera was in pirates of the Caribbean and it looked like jack sparrow had already stolen her chest

      • Am I the only ISACer whose father never spoke to him about nipples? Did dear old dad miss a golden opportunity to set me off on the right path in Life by not doing so?

  12. I note that Little Miss Sparkle Tits has moved Mother in to look after the brat while she concentrates on being woke and ordering the Halfwit about.
    Of course she could afford a couple of nannies but I reckon she is thinking ahead to the chat show circuit. That will be one of the excuses for dumping the cunt……..he wanted the brats brought up the traditional Royal way while she wanted them to experience the warmth and love of a POC Mee Maw. Speaking of which it’s about time she had another bun in the oven isn’t it? Especially as she’s getting poked every day by servants, security guards and half the male heterosexual population of Hollywoke.

  13. She might be a manipulative bitch but I’d love to fuck her. Think I might draw the line at marrying her though. Or even a second date come to that!

    • I really wouldn’t fancy fucking her at all – sloppy 20s, doesn’t appeal at all,

  14. Are there any long bendy tunnels and alcoholic chauffeurs working in LA?

    Just asking/wishing!

  15. Morning all. This pair really get on my tits. Playing the BAME game, moaning about how intrusive the press was in the UK and then doing everything in their power to make sure the press follows them around the world like Angelina Jolie and her mong tribe. I hope Phil The Greek arranges a Dodi Wall Banger asap.

  16. After the first few words I knew it was one of Rons excellent noms…..

    It should be published, an ISAC crowd fund for Ron to write a short story about Meghan and the Half Blood Prince…… it would hit the top of the best seller list!

    • A proper hate fuck king fish hooked digs to the back of the head strangulation and that’s just the fore play

  18. When the inevitable divorce rape occurs, which I predict will be within 2 years, I hope Harry flogs all his saved nude pics of Meg across the internet and assassinates what’s left of her reputation.

    Also her nose. Fucking ridiculous plastic surgery. It looks like there’s nothing left. Has anyone else noticed that?

  19. I’m surprised to see that there have been no comments regarding her arsehole.
    Silly me. The halfwit has been mentioned several times.

  20. How this scheming bitch, has treated her father, tells you everything. The poor bloke has not even seen Archie. That is cold and clinical. Yet the bitch puts herself forward as a humanitarian.

    • Meghan Markle is the new Yoko Fucking Ono. Just as the sea hag stopped Lennon from seeing his eldest son and poisoning every friendship or relationship the bloke had (from his band to his first wife), the Markle creature operates on the same lines. It’s all about her, cut Harry off from anyone whoever meant anything to him and freeze our or blacklist anyone who doesn’t fit into her ideas or grand plan. Family included. The woman is one of the 21st Century’s greatest cunts.

  21. Great nom Ron, they always make me laugh, it wont be long now, she,s moved in the old cow cuz no babysitter in lala land will go near these cunts and she will needs to do a book signing, embezzle as much cash as possible to pay for the drive by shooting style divorce, i hadnt noticed the weird Jackson nose but its true, she got that done along with being actually white so she can bang the black drum when it suits(see what i did there, clever hey) and of coarse when she accepts her Oscar for acting like a good person to begin with, but even that has gone the way of the Dodo, talking of Dodo,s i strongly suspect they will be joining Megain at the cashpoint in the sky fairly soon…?

  22. Well done Ron reminded me of the finer moments of PG Wodehouse. The poor ginger ninja has got himself into a spot of bother with Old Sparkles and no Jeeves to come up with a cunning plan

  23. Great stuff, Ron. Here’s a little Christmas tale from last year.

    Harry Hewitt found a letter and he read it out loud to his wife.

    ‘Deayur Santi Claws. Could yew send mee sum niece prezzunts this Krizzimus?’

    Harry was amazed. He said ‘This is great, And Archie wrote this all by himself?’

    Meghan angrily replied ‘Archie can write his own fucking letters to Santi Klaws!’

  24. Christ on a bike. I just watched the ginger twat’s latest video, going about his ‘trust’ or ‘foundation’ (whatever) called Travalyst.
    He’s going on about ‘sustainable tourism’ and ‘economic justice’. I’m sure it’s all purely altruistic of course, nothing in it for him.

    The brassneck of the cunt is unbelievable.

  25. Cunt marries a cunt.
    Fuck them both – but don’t come cwwying for sympathy when it all goes wrong little tin soldier.
    Irrelevant, parasites, worthless and universally hated.

  26. Ron.
    I’ve said it before, you are a legendary ISAC member who deserves a scriptwriting career in Hollywood for these epics.

    Unfortunately you are 20 years too late and you wouldn’t fit in with modern Hollywoke.
    Their loss is our gain!

    Arise Sir Ronald! 👑 🗡

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