Curtain Twitchers

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I would like to cunt curtain twitchers. Often found on neighbourhood watch committees and the like or obsessively looking out of their living room window, these are the kinds of people who worship the concept of big daddy government and are intent on monitoring one’s every move, just watching and waiting for some poor sap to slip up with some petty ‘misdeed’ so they have an excuse to exercise their deranged power fantasy. . We have seen these cunts come out of the woodwork in a way not previously seen before with the Chinky flu outbreak, where they’ll berate, report and make life a misery for anyone who commits the cardinal sin of being (gasp) *OUTSIDE* – seemingly forgetting that we as a species actively NEED fresh air and exercise in order to survive and function properly. Case in point:
https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/11438806/gordon-ramsay-cycles-miles/?utm_campaign=sunmainfacebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1587414285
These people would happily impose a Soviet-style police state on us if given half a chance. If I were in power I would have them prosecuted and cooped up in prison cells all day to give them a taste of their own medicine, the cunts.

Nominated by General Tso’s Chiggun

88 thoughts on “Curtain Twitchers”

  1. A fine cunting,
    It seems England is the curtain twitching capital of the world.
    When my yardie mate Errol drops a delivery to my posh flat you can only guess the amount of curtains twitching. Poor Errol the Jamaicunt now has to wear a Doctor’s outfit when delivering and now they clap the cunt.
    Well played Errol.
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • Reminds me of two of my mates back in the 90’s

      Both were milkmen and used this as the perfect disguise to ‘serve’ the local population.

      Just leave the rolled up notes in the top of the empty milk bottles covered with the note for what your pleasure was and the ‘extra’ delivery would be made through the letterbox the next morning.

      Brilliant in its simplicity. They never got caught, which was lucky considering the getaway vehicles they were driving.

      Both now retired and living off the rent from their buy to let properties.

      • ‘living off the rent from their buy to let properties.’

        Sounds like me Odin’s Balls…although of course I’ve never done or sold anything dodgy in my life.
        Good to have you around again old chap, if memory serves me right you live around my way (W11).

      • Closer than that B&W.

        I could say the Churchill and Windsor castle are our centre ground.

      • They sound wise, keeping a low profile is the only way in that game.
        The wisest dealers drive around in work vans or ordinary oldish cars.

  2. Good nom General!👍
    Type of people who grassed up the jews in 30s Germany.
    Had 3 separate neighbours mention im not sticking to one daily hours exercise, spying, prying cunts, but my answer is the same to them all, none of your business, know who it is if anyone informs, but don’t really care, its of more interest to me knowing that they notice.
    Ive noticed them having family round too.
    If someone reports you and coppers turn up either tell them to fuck off and prove it.
    They cant do shit.
    Also make sure your neighbour has his comeuppance.

    • A nice bit of Cat/Dog shit smeared on their front door and car door handles will teach the cunts and give them some cleaning to do as well.
      The Cunts. 😁

      • Cant abide grassing types, why cant people mind their own business?
        If its not directly affecting you why inform on someone? ..because they want to get people in trouble.
        Snidey peeping little whispering cunts.

      • I always used to favour tyre stabbing or brake fluid all over the motor. Once pierced some cunts bonnet loads with that tool for getting boy scouts out of horses hooves on a swiss army knife. Have calmed down a lot these days though since the kids came along. Also don’t suffer from violent booze fuelled rages anymore since getting sober – that helps. Stay safe chaps!

      • Oh, nearly forgot. Also shot some cunts headlights out with my air rifle after a bottle Gordons and a bottle of wine over a parking issue…kept blocking my driveway. Ah, the good old days.

    • Same kind of people who put traffic cones in the road where they think they have a right to a parking space.
      What’s the word I’m searching for? – Oh yes – cunts!

      • The local goat botherers do this 30 yards down the road from me.

        Just redistribute the cones, about half a mile away.

        Drives them mental

  4. The lockdown has given these cunts a passport to heaven. Usually restricted to grassing you up for putting your bins out early or pointing at the no ball games sign they can now grass their neighbours up for being outside.

    I know the sort, of someone 10 doors up the street has a parcel delivered, they know about it.

    If you’re that bothered about other people’s lives, your a sad cunt with no life.

    • They are everywhere SV, and sadly a lot of it comes down to bitterness at being an old cunt.
      They wouldn’t have been like that in their youth but now they’re indoors with the same woman day and night driving them mad they take it aaaaht on us because we go aaaaht and abaaaaaht during lockdown.
      Something for us younger cunter to look forward to when we become old cunts… I’m gonna be right cunt, causing trouble and boring cunts with my old tales of arsehole tonguing and rock and roll living.

      • Dunno B&WC, remember the type at school, learning to kiss the arse of authority at an early age by snitching to teachers. I’m sure for some it comes with age but I’m just as sure some are genetically predisposed to watching everyone else for a chance to run to authority.

      • Yeah your right SV a lot of those ‘Grass’ type cunts at school probably failed later in life at becoming a Police officers and end up as plastic community support officers.
        I remembered those school Prefect cunts as well.
        I had a fight at school with this knobhead and kicked his ass, the guy was a prick and what happens 10 years later… I see the cunt in a Police car in uniform waving his finger at me.

      • There was a cunt like that at my school B&WC.
        He was in the school cricket team, football team, rugby team, tiddlywinks team etc..
        Well anyway, I happened to have parents from a different Country and Captain Bighead took exception to this.
        In Woodwork one day he hit me right on the arse bone with a mallet as I was bending over chiseling a bit of wood.
        As I stood up the silly cunt was slapping the mallet in his hand and he said “Come on then Paddy!”, I don’t know why he said that because that wasn’t my name. I just so happened to be holding a 1 inch wood chisel at the time.
        Big fucking mistake Captain Bighead.
        After we left school I saw the dickhead poncing around town with a tit on his head, he looked a bit sheepish when he saw me. I wonder how big his scar is these days.

  5. I live in a half acre plot in rural Herefordshire…my neighbours have, on more than one occasion, seen me cleaning my side by side shot gun naked on the porch as my dog barks and my evil sons look on. So I do what the fuck i like with little consequence ….but I can imagine it is a problem. CUNTS!

    • Send me down some Shropshire Blue cheese, can’t get it anywhere. Send it first and I’ll pay you once I get it…honest.

    • Grow your own cheese, think of it as a variation on an allotment in these torrid times. I’ll stop there I think.
      Bollocks!

  6. To be fair anybody who grasses up that cunt Ramsey, or any other whining, two faced fucking sleb is ok by me. Sick and tired of hearing their cunt opinions about everything. Shut your cakehole cunt, i’ve never even heard of you.

    • I must admit to not having much of a problem with Ramsey. Whilst he’s a bit of a loudmouth cunt he seems to be anti-PC and does seem to be sticking to the rules regarding isolation and physical distancing.

    • Hi ‘second home’ in Cornwall looks shit, I can’t abide this cunt, loud mouth wanker.

    • The thing I hate most about Ramsey and all the other celebrity cunts is when they try at every given opportunity to include their fucking spoilt children in their cuntish programmes.

  7. These worst ones are the over zealous ones, the ones who think that just because they’re the ‘leader’ of a local neighborhood scheme, that they have the right to behave like a member of the Gestapo.

    I’ll tell you somebody who was just like that. Dennis Rader.

    Also known as the BTK killer.

    Watch out for the curtain twitcher in your area. He’s probably a mental as fuck serial killer.

    • Dont know who Dennis Radish is but love a BLT butty in summer!
      Dont be so jüdgëmentãl!
      Well done Dennis, keep this up soon have a sandwich shop to rival Subway.

      • The photos he took of himself is some of the most disturbing shit I’ve ever seen.

        Absolute fucking mental case.

      • Just had a look, wtf?!!#
        Proper weirdo!
        His middle name was Lynn!😁

  8. What annoys me are the nosey cunt neighbours who know your name even though you’ve never even spoken to them. What the fuck? To be honest it puts me about a bit the fucking nosey twats.

    • Yeah, ‘morning Bob’
      ‘Hello mr Frapples’ who are they? How’d they know my name?
      Sly.
      I get it a bit, but might be word of mouth due to my business?
      Also got the worlds most boring man who calls me Malcolm!

    • You’re bang on.

      Hate it when you get chatting with someone for the first time and within 2 minutes he’s asked you your name, where you live, your job, about your family, how you met your missus, where you got married, how much did your wedding cost, why you moved to the area, if you went to university or not, what you do at the weekend and how big your left bollock is.

      Usually before you even get to know their fucking name (if they give that to you).

      If you get a cunt like this, just twitch a lot, laugh hysterically with bugling eyes (like Richard Richard of Bottom) and say you’ve just been released from Broadmoor after 30 years inside for eating your neighbours and wearing the leftovers as a hat.

  10. I may get my flag out tomorrow for the big day, that will probably get me reported to the Antifa stasi.

    It’s also the big night in to throw insult to injury, Lenny Henry and other cunts on the box for a couple of hours, I wonder if any one with mention St George’s day.

    • You bloody racist right wing extremist SOI.

      Any patriot who has the audacity to celebrate the patron Saint of our great country will be reported to the police who will undoubtedly have enough time to come round to have a word with you.

      Unlike Emily Thornberry, I feel there is far too little flag waving in England. The LGBT flag doesn’t count obviously.

      • Racist and proud, fly the flag and two fingers to the liberal immigrant lovers 😁

      • Flying the flag of Saint George is a signal that one is about to invade Poland

        (C) The Guardian, The BBC etc.

  11. And another thing! Why have these NHS supporters adopted the LGBPGTips gayness rainbow flag ?…… CUNTS!

    • They’re the colours of the cunts they’re happy to have treated. Notice there’s no white.

  12. I was self isolating with the Mrs ( not tested or diagnosed. Just told we had it )
    Which has left me highly sceptical about the true figures. Anyway I had the bare faced nerve to venture out for food one day and this fucking neighbor who I always got on with contacted mrs fistula on Facebook to ask what the fuck am I doing out and about. Then she sticks a letter through the box telling me I will be arrested if I do it again.
    That fucking bitch will regret she ever done that CUNT !!!

      • Or, a load of nuts from (I think…) Quality Street.
        First of all, suck the chocolate and caramel off, using plenty of saliva.
        Place “cleaned” nut in wrapper, put back in box.
        Give box of nuts to nosey cunt.

      • Drop a hot, wet shite through her letterbox, wrapped in tissue paper, the old fucking hag!

  14. If we were every invaded these cunting grassing scum bags would be the collaborators, you know, the ones helping you into the ovens

    • Historically, these ones ended up in the ovens themselves as well, I believe.

  15. Great nom. I think we can safely say that most of us either know one of these fuckers, or at least know OF one. My mother’s now ex-friend is one of the worst type. She doesn’t just spy on people from behind her curtains, she has to the ins and outs of bugs asshole. My mother lives across the road and slightly around a corner, and if ever a car or van came round, the phone would ring and Nora the Nose would be there. “Who was that? Where did they go? What are they doing”? They recently fell out over a text that Nora (not her real name) attempted to send to her sister, quite a nasty one about my mother going out twice a week, but the dumb shit sent it to my mum instead. My mum is something of a battle axe, so after going full Viking on her, they are now no longer friends.

    I also have a curtain twitching neighbour, who only moved on to our street about eleven months ago. You’d think this cunt worked for MI6 the way he spies on everyone and everything. I wouldn’t mind so much, but there are only six houses on our private street, all of which have six foot walls and big entrance gates. My next door neighbour and I recently had an argument with him, because we dared to put security cameras up on our properties. It was partly to deter would be tea leaves, but it was also a response to Basildon Bond having cameras fitted that point directly at our properties. Yes, he is one of those cretins who thinks it ok for him to do it, but is a breach of his human rights when others do it.

    And this guy isn’t just a curtain twitcher. When he and his equally self-important wife arrived they posted a letter to the rest of us residents which was a list of things they would not tolerate. Among them we barbeques in which people were laughing, talking and playing music, watering plants and gardens (which I’m pretty sure isn’t illegal unless there’s a drought), parties with music being played and (this is my favourite) Young women and school girls walking on the pavement outside their house while wearing mini skirts. I mean what the fuck does that have to do with them? As a father of teenage girls, I would prefer if the two still at school wore something longer, but I would actually force them do it. And as far as I’m aware, the pavement outside your house does not belong to you. I had to step in a few months back when he got right in my daughter’s face for daring to past his house on the way home from school, wearing a mini skirt. Nobody does that to a member of my family. As for the parties and barbecues, all the houses are detached. And these two clowns are far enough away from most our homes that it really wouldn’t be a problem. Once the shutdown is over, I’m going to test that theory.

    • Quickdraw, fuck this cunt, organise a street party, let all the neighbours in on the joke, and all wear miniskirts, blokes as well!
      If they come out say its gonna be every weekend unless you all get a written apology.
      Bet they move.

      • I had a neighbour like that some Years ago when I lived above her in a flat – “Don’t close the door loudly, take your shoes off before you walk up stairs, don’t flush the toilet after 9PM, don’t park your car on the public road outside where you live because my unemployed deadbeat Son in law parks his car there, don’t have the tv or any music on after 9PM, don’t go in the shared garden it’s mine” etc etc – the list was f*cking endless and as this evil old b*tch knew I took no notice of her whatsoever she would try it with my partner, every time she dared walk out the door she came back with a list of demands and I eventually completely lost my sh*t and told the horrible old f*cker exactly what I thought of her rules and to f*ckoff and leave be (very loudly as I recall!) and if her junky c*nt of a Son in law had a problem come round – he did, but not twice, and my life was peace and quiet after! 👍😀

    • I don’t understand why you waited. These cunts would have had a reply the following day if they tried it with me or, in fact, anybody I know.

    • Oh to be wealthy in a situation like that. I’d be tempted to give my house to a horde of pikeys, as long as they sent me the videos of him losing his fucking mind.

    • It’s not illegal to have a barbecue and play music during the day in your own garden (post lockdown of course).

      Like another poster says, have a party and invite the whole street and some mates, but not those cunts. Get everyone to wear mini skirts and water the plants. Make sure to laugh a lot too.

      Do it every weekend until the prick moves.

      But yeah, getting in your daughter’s face like that? Not good. Not that I would ever condone it, but people like that deserve a good kerb stomping.

      • Give the sad cunts a good slap and hearty “FUCK OFF”.
        If such polite reminders fail to remedy then giant community oven for the job lot,at bayonet point.
        The shitty bastards.

    • You have more patience than me QDM – that last couple in particular I would’ve punched the living daylights out of by now if I were in your position. Have no time for fascist busybodies like that.

    • QDM.
      I have a four camera cctv system, (Life in Beirut can be hard).
      As far as the law is concerned it can only be on my property (viewing) I can not view the road out side!
      It covers my back door (garden) walking towards it front and rear, Dito the front, (you have to set them up like little soldiers covering each other).
      Further to this I freely installed and purchased a dummy set for the neighbour who I do not like.
      Neighbourhood crime figures are very high, but I would lay 70% of them on our local curtain twitcher, who is the main problem and a dragon to boot.

  16. Many, many years ago in my teenage years when I lived at home with my parents, there used to be a girl who lived in the house opposite and whose bedroom was opposite mine.

    She in the same years as me at school, she was blonde, had absolutely huge tits, and at night (with the light on) who used to parade around in her sexy underwear (or even topless sometimes) with her curtains open. Almost as though she was doing it on purpose.

    Ashamed to admit there was quite a lot of curtain twitching going on.

    • Willie – Hanging on to a first floor window ledge with one hand, whilst knocking one out with the other….we’ve all been there. Then the great crescendo of pleasure before the plummet back in to obscurity of the rose bed below…..

      • Willie! Tut tut.
        She was obviously aware you were perving over her, and getting off on teasing you, pretty much a invitation to raid her washing line of her knickers to chew on while auto asphyxiating with her bra!
        Missed your chance there pal!

      • You are absolutely right Miserable.

        I still remember how on several occasions she would take the opportunity to eat a banana whenever I was in her house, taking a good fifteen minutes or so to suck the life out of it. As I watched obviously. I was good friends with her brother just in case you were wondering why I was there.

        My parents were also very good friends with her parents and the thought of the expression of “shitting on your own doorstep” frequently came to mind.

        Found out several years later she had three children with three different fathers of different colours so in hindsight perhaps better I didn’t accept her come on.

      • Jesus Willie!
        She sounds a right little minx!💪
        She definitely was aware of what she was doing.
        Funnily enough thats made me want a banana.

    • We moved into a new build when I was about 15 and a lass of about the same age moved into the house backing onto our back garden and always did the same thing. I’m convinced she knew I was watching her and I was devastated when they moved after a few months.

      • Thinking back, I never once saw this girl anywhere but in her bedroom and never saw any of the family in the back garden, or anywhere else.

      • Lots of us are peeping Toms on here Moggie,
        Used to be a girl near me and shed undress in her bedroom and you could see everything if you shone a torch through the curtains!
        She moved quite suddenly too.
        😁

      • For clarity, perhaps I should point out that I was looking through her bedroom window from MY bedroom, not hanging from her window ledge or up a ladder.

      • Or as I remember peeping around my bedroom door in to her bedroom door….”oh mother…who did this to you?.”

      • @Willie I’m not saying that I wouldn’t be found up a ladder or hanging onto a window ledge, just that I wasn’t then. I wish I could remember what she looked like, except very attractive with long hair.

  17. I am sure these apprentice Sturbanfuhrers can be counted to do the Reich Stuff. Not just dobbing you in for going for a stroll, giving orders to the enforced queues at the shops like they are back in the old days dividing the trainloads into workers and off to the gas chambers. Cunts all of them.

    • Indeed General – many, many erstwhile venom-spitters have come and gone during my short, 3 year addiction to IsAC. Chances are they’ll be back.

  19. when and if this crisis ends these cunts should be the butt of all jokes across the land – they should be starved of nutrition – denied access to their families and kids – and – dragged out onto the streets and pelted with old cabbages and steaming fish – then left to rot on the pavement – maybe then the council can do something positive and use them as landfill

  20. My neighbours are all wonderful people.

    In other news – remember that enormous “fatberg” which was hauled out of the London sewers ? It was, allegedly, going to be put on display at the Natural History Museum (or somewhere).

    Well, it hasn’t – In this afternoon’s glorious sunshine, it’s sat in a deckchair belonging to that fat bald cunt from No. 7…

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