‘Living My Best life’ (and other cunt terms)

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‘Living my best life’ is a cunt’s catchphrase and so is ‘adulting’.

All of us only have one life (unless anyone is identifying as a cat now,) so there isn’t really such a thing as your ‘best life’. You have shit days and better days. End of.

‘Adulting’ – in other words just behaving like a fucking grown up, which is what you should be doing anyway if you’re over 18, rather than jacking off over the ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ film, you soft cunts.

Nominated by Harold Steptoe

71 thoughts on “‘Living My Best life’ (and other cunt terms)”

      • Those cunts are usually talking nonsense anyway – what they really mean is ‘do the arithmetic’ but they’re too ignorant to know the difference.

        That said, so are most people. ☺️

      • Asked in a shop for Vermouth.

        She gazed at me, with little piggy eyes, and obese black-framed specs (as favoured by Brand, Soup Erkins et al., and said “Oh, ver MOOF”

        There was me thinking there was a UK pronunciation, and a US one… Do the math, indeed.

        Didn’t have the red stuff, anyway…

    • The term ‘Series’ still applies in this country.

      ‘Seasons’ is the American word for ‘Series’, and has been for as long as I can remember.

    • Likewise CMC I can’t stand “behaviours” and “harms” when the silly cunts mean “behaviour” and “harm” – it’s much loved terms used by up their own arse American academics (who have been bought up on books all entitles “The Idiots Guide To….”)

      I also find it offensive when healthy people use the term “bucket list” when they are in good health, because it’s original meaning is concerned with people suffering terminal illness.

      I would ban these asinine expressions, also on the banned list would be “looking to” (as in looking to upgrade your contract) when they mean “intend to” or “exploring”. One other annoyance “FOR free” when they just mean “free”

      • I just put a list of similar shit in nominations. If its posted, please add these things to it, as I agree completely. What about people who say ‘should of’ instead of ‘should have’ and the infuriating ’cause’ instead of ‘because’? And the people that say ‘learn’ instead of ‘teach’, and mix up affect/effects and borrow/lend.

  3. Living your best life isn’t a bad thing, my grandad used to say make the most of life, it was the same thing. Life is either something you let happen to you or you have aspirations.

    Personally I find it fucking annoying to finance people on benefits who just let life happen, they let money drain out of my account and into theirs.

    Living your best life may have been hijacked by the woke but there’s nothing wrong with trying to be a better person.

    • This “living your best life’
      Ive never heard it till now.
      Never heard anyone say it, its piss weak.
      Living the dream is irritating, people have been saying it for years now, its suspiciously american sounding.
      Tell them to get fucked.

      • It’s certainly not a Northern term Miserable.
        We don’t have a ‘best life’ up here do we, being forced to work down pit and clean out pigeons every day?
        Eeee, thank God for ‘Ovis.

      • “We walked five mile t’ school with nowt but a lump of stale cheese for dinner and a thrice used teabag an thought ourselves lucky”.

        Bertie, your not the Hovis lad on the bike from a previous life are you?

      • Good Morning LL.
        The one on t’hill? Indeed,aye. Twas like taking bread to the top of the world.

      • You’re right Miserable – somewhere in the West Country. Do you remember the northern add with an old geezer who had a lisp and wore NHS glasses. Probably filmed somewhere like Haworth in Yorks? It might have even been in black and white!

      • The old guy your thinking of is Joe Gladwin!
        Like a walking talking Lowry painting?
        Always glum!
        “How do mr Gladwin?”
        “Eee, bwoody miserable..”

      • We certainly don’t!
        We suffer in noble silence.
        Cleaning out the pidgeon lofts was something I had to do for my granddad as a kid, hated it Bertie!
        Shit everywhere, feathers an dust, an occasionally a rat after the corn.
        My best life? Just shoot me. ☺

      • Nice one Bertie!
        Made my day seeing that again!
        Think he was from Salford, always liked him.
        Great little bloke.
        👍👍

      • It does sound like Meghan Markle inspired Californian psycho babble. Something innocent and well-meaning hijacked by a cunts who put a hashtag on it and turn it into cliched fluff.

      • Californias love shite like this, they try to seem deep because they’re so shallow,
        Intellectual because theyre ignorant,
        An they love a cult or a fad.
        Type that says “Namaste”
        As a greeting in a yoga class😁

      • Good grief.
        I like Donny Tango but he namaste’d me id beat the orange off him.
        Disgraceful behaviour.

  4. If someone says do the math I correct them straight away then tell them to stop letting Americanisms ruin our language.
    I fucking detest all these glib terms. Made up words for tossers who still haven’t got a good grasp of English in the first place.
    Another irritation is people using more before one syllable words.
    eg. more soft, more cold, more hard….ffs softer, colder,harder.
    Utter cunts.

  5. “Living your best life”?

    What a load of vague woke bollocks! How can you possibly judge what stage of your life is/was/will be your best? It might have happened 20 years ago; it might happen next week; it might never happen at all. So what the fuck is “best life”?

    Of course I could say one of my Best Lives, was fingering Cathy L. during a “you show me yours and I’ll show you mine” when we were about 12.

    Or I could say another bestest life of mine was when I moved up here to the Lake District, well away from the urban chaos, the “cultural enrichment” and metro libtard woke cunts bleating day and night about some pointless “I’m so offended” bollocks.

    Or looking to the future my best life may be when a few more woke cunts have succumbed to the Corbyn19 virus. I keep hoping the virus is suitably selective enough to take aim at snowflakes, libtards and Labour, and obliterate them from the face of the earth.

    • *How can you possibly judge what stage of your life is/was/will be your best?”

      In retrospect mine ws the sixties and seventies, when my son was young and Mrs. Boggs hadn’t turned into Hattie Jacques body double, minus the charm.

  6. An absolute cunt I used to work with, when asked how he was would reply, without fail, “living the dream”.
    I have no idea when this phrase became popular or was perceived as amusing by cunts, but it is used exclusively by people so fucking dull that their dreams would frankly not be worth living.
    Oh how I hated that cunt.

    • Fuck I hate that term,” living the dream”.
      My dream is to win the lottery and to isolate myself from cunts like that.
      Cunts who say ” hey dude how goes it” or “how is you”? Cunts who fist bump and say “later dude”.
      Can you all just fuck off!?

    • I’m usually dreaming the life, don’t mind what I’m doing now, but would rather be fising.

      • Think you’ve missed the “t” out of “fising”,TS.

        You’re a disgrace.

      • Of course it’s fucking fisting. What else would anyone do with their spare time?

  7. I shall take up this “living my best life” suggestion immediately. I shall stop being so self-effacing, light the afterburners and truly launch myself into a selfish, “Fuck everyone else” lifestyle….for too long I haven’t put myself first…I’m off down to the supermarket to wrestle some old Granny for the aloa-vera toilet-paper…my ringpiece deserves the best and that old Cunt can fucking well live the “best life she can” wiping her wrinkly old arse-piece with an empty Werther’s Original Toffee packet.

    Stand back,Cunters…you’re about to witness the birth of the new immodest.egotistical Fiddler….and may God have mercy on your Souls.

    Fuck Off.

    • I take it you will also be resigning as a patron of ‘Make-A-Wish Foundation UK’ and the volunteering for English lessons to recently arrived Syrian refugees, Fiddler? The Honours Committee wont now need coronavirus as an excuse to block your MBE.

      • Yes,well that yowling child certainly got more than he bargained for with his “I want to ride a pony” wish,LL.

        A four mile chase over hedge and Fell strapped to a 16 hand Hunter as I merrily tootled my little horn and shouted “Gorn to Earth” certainly brought the colour to his cheeks…how his fucking oxygen-tank didn’t rupture as he was shot over that 6 foot fence when the horse refused is a bloody miracle.

  8. ” Go figure” ….. Go fuck yourself.
    I’m just off to pop the trunk. …and I’m not talking about my car.

  9. I forgot to mention that I’ve just tested positive for the virus.

    Thank fuck it was only an HIV test.

    • you’re lucky!!
      I’ve got the hysteria-20 virus and not only bought all the pies I’ve bought the fucking company!!!

  10. These days cunts seem to be everywhere – giving them media exposure does not help – it only encourages them – look at that jeremy vine bloke – what a cunt he is – living my best life in the best of all possible worlds – for fucks sake – fuck off

  11. After the virus has finished its work, many of these old coffin dodging “living the dream” pensioners will be living no more.

    Nature will always find a way to re-balance a top heavy load. The world is obsessed by breeding uncontrollably, living longer and just being cunts so this is just tipping things the other way.

    Food runs out? fat cunts get thin.
    Pensions too expensive? dodderers will drop like flies
    Smokers, junkies and alcoholics, they are already dying, hopefully this may move a few along a bit faster.

    I will say, it’s nice no being constantly bombarded with endless LBGTSDFDDXXCVVV++++ garbage all day long. Shame it’s taken a virus to do this but it’s great to hear the panic in the voices of those with no agenda suddenly realising that identifying as a fish no longer gets in the news.

  12. Admin – I find the use of that caption in the photo very distressing in the present climate.
    I find self isolation very stressful as it is. You can make amends by dropping off a food parcel on my doorstep today.(don’t forget to include some bog rolls also.)

    I find it very distressing that each time I pass the bookies I notice the poster “When the fun stops, stop!”, I am a natural depressive so it is a blatant suicide add to me

  14. I had to see a therapist because I take every term and phrase literally.

    He sat there looking inquisitive and said, “Tell me, as a small boy, did your mother ever raise a hand to you..?”

    I said, “Let’s get one thing fucking straight right now, my mother was never a small boy”….

  16. Grown adults should not be thinking in this way.
    Fetch the Gestapo at once.
    Live your best life in the oven you cunts.

  18. There’s something about that bloke in the photo that makes me want to ram that cup up his arse. I don’t know what it is……..maybe he reminds me of someone but I can’t put my finger on it.

  20. I always remember Eddie Hitler’s advice on life in the show Bottom-
    “Your born, keep your head down, watch a bit of telly and die…if your lucky”.

  21. Just one more example of the current inability to formulate a concept, using the million-word vocabulary which makes English the most useful of all languages, and of the willingness to settle for some words which, regardless of their actual meaning, sound as if they may have something to do with it.

    I had not realised the full horror of ‘adulting’, until I found this:

    https://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/news/a58946/stop-adulting/

    “Adulting” implies that being an adult is not a necessary part of growing up, but rather a life choice you’re hesitant to fully buy into. It’s a singularly Millennial — especially female, at that — immaturity that reduces being a grown-up to a hobby. If nothing else you do makes you seem like a stereotypical Millennial living in an entitled fantasy land where actually growing up is, like your hobbies, optional, saying “adulting” is sure to do just that.

    Several other foul neologisms also occur in this piece – be warned.

  23. From the catechism of the catholic church-what are the two sins against hope? Presumption and Despair.
    I was on a train once and we entered a tunnel and the sound of button pressing (his mobile not working) when we emerged threw the phone on the table-‘This is just not good enough’. That’s the presumption . I DESERVE the best. We entered another tunnel and the same sound of frantic button pressing. When we emerged threw the mobile down on the table again-(like a child)’Nothing’s ever any good’. That’s the despair. I don’t deserve anything.
    I deserve the best. I don’t deserve anything. Happiness lies somewhere in the middle.

  24. So, we finally know what Santa does in March – drinks coffee and watches internet porn!
    I have threatened to sack people for using Americanisms in correspondence at work – the Worlds most intelligent language being dragged down to Sun reader level by our colonial Cousins – not on my watch Sir!
    I am now self identifying as a bad tempered b*stard with a bad back and half a garden still to dig! (Need my summer veg in, can’t see the point of buying it!)
    Ridiculous snowflakery, good nom HS👍

  25. I’d just like to add that, unless you happen to be a member of the 4 tops, use of the expression ’reach out’ also renders the user a grade ‘A’ cunt of the first water.
    Reach out? Fuck off.

  27. Live your best life. Do what you want, and enjoy yourself. To use a twatty term YOLO.

  28. I used hate that cut and paste phrase on Facebook….
    “Self Employed and Loving It”…. Fuck off and bollox…..

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