Shit extortionate beer in shit pubs

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I want to cunt pubs in general and the government causing the divide and conquer attitude.

Since the smoking ban and the introduction of punch taverns(chicken/egg) situation, pubs have become fucking terrible.
I fucking love beer and debating anything that people feel strongly about.
The smoking ban did a few things, it stopped conversation between friends. The train of thought was lost when half of the group wanted a smoke.
It invited women and children into pubs.
And it created an entire generation to buy beer from supermarkets.

I don’t go out much now because I’m from the latter of above. I’m used to it, it’s cheaper and I can do what the fuck I want at home.

Now, my point is I went to a wedding celebration of my friends and had to pay money for Amstel beer. Piss weak pop for £3.65. I had 9 pints and drove home like I’d been drinking fucking water all night. I’m back home now in the loving arms of Stella for £21 for 30 cans.
Blah

Nominated by Candygram for mongo

78 thoughts on “Shit extortionate beer in shit pubs”

  1. ‘9 pints and drove home’… Everyone knows it’s 7 pints… Thats the legal limit.
    Cuntstable Cuntbubble will be paying you a visit.

  2. Other than Weatherspoons and their decent pub meals, I rarely bother with boozers and their shite choice of beers.

    And what really pissed me off was allowing kids in! I mean it wouldn’t be so bad if their stupid fucking parents told them to sit down and STFU. But instead its just a fucking playground with lots of screaming, shouting and fucking toys scattered all over the shop.

    But do the management give two fucks? Of course not. To them its extra revenue and fuck the loyal punters who have drank there for years.

    So I resign myself to drinking at home – 30 cans of San Miguel for £21, no kids, no loud fucking music, and no waiting at the fucking bar for hours waiting to be served!

  3. If you non believers refuse to denounce your western ways and indulge in drinking alcohol then you only have yourselves to blame.
    Inshallah.

  4. Pub prices are a joke.
    A decent piss up in a pub is now a serious investment decision.
    I’m award that tax on beer is sky high but that’s because politicians are complete cunts.
    Overall:get fucked.

    Solid cunting, thanks.

    • I’m afraid the good old drinking pubs are a dying breed which is a shame. Lots of reasons but I suppose it first started with drink driving laws, then pub grub, the smoking ban, kids in pubs, etc. You can’t really blame the pub industry, they have been forced to adapt by governments who don’t give a flying fuck about them and don’t care if it’s another British institution going to the dogs. They could tax alcohol heavier in supermarkets or better still drastically reduce the amount of tax on beer sold in licensed premises but that will never happen. Having said all that, being partial to a drop of ale myself, most of the people who now run pubs haven’t a clue how to keep the beer properly.

    • Wont hear a word said against the good old English pub!
      Home away from home!
      OUT!! YOUR BARRED!
      Off to pub now have a good sunday cunters! Play nice & play safe!

    • I went to a wanky pub near London Bridge. Two pints of very average beer was about 30p short of a tenner. And a burger and chips £14.50 – cunts. Won’t be doing that again. The bar-staff looked at me like a peasant when I expressed shock at their fucking rip-off prices.

      “You are shitting one, you cunt”.

      • poncy hipster beer tasting like fucking grapefruit and served in ‘trendy pint glasses that look like fucking jamjars, bargain at only six quid a pint…

        apparently the ll tastes weird and is made from all sorts of unusual shit is because the fucking trendy bastards don’t like the taste of proper beer

  5. 18 cans Fosters (yeah, I know I know) from Tesco – currently £12

    18 x 440ml = 7920ml, divided by 568ml (a pint) = 13.94 pints (call it 14 pints)

    Equivalent quantity of Fosters from pub @ £3.60 per pint – currently £50.19

    Apart from screaming brats, poorly looked-after beer, smoking ban etc – there’s the rub for the pub.

    £50 or £12….

  6. In the News: some big cheese ISIS psychopath called Bag Daddy has apparently been bumped off by the Yanks. Might he perhaps be related to Big Daddy?

  7. At one time if you owned a pub you were quids in. Now it’s a dying trade. I can walk round the town centre and remember dozens of pubs that aren’t there now. Spent over thirty years on pub crawls because there was not much else to do and my main mate was an alcoholic, he wouldn’t do anything other than booze.
    It must be fifteen years since I was in a pub, I have the occasional drink at home and my stomach’s a lot flatter.

  8. Pubs are shit. The beer’s overpriced, you can’t smoke, kids running amok, nasty music…what’s the point.

  9. The two Alehouses in my village are local Pubs for local people. You lot wouldn’t be welcome…although,tbf,neither am I in one of them….lifetime ban indeed…asked the auld bitch when she banned me if the “lifetime” was hers or mine because by the look and smell of her I’d be back in within a couple of weeks if it was hers.

      • Well she’s seen my knob if that counts…but that was when I waved it as her as she ordered me out according to reports…my own memories of the fateful night are somewhat sketchy,thank fuck.

        Morning,Mike.

    • I bet its like the pub from ‘Straw Dogs’. I’d like to be a fly on the wall if Krav and MPG drop by and announce they are ‘friends’ of Mr Fiddler.

      • There are a couple of arse-bandits who come in occasionally. They’re actually alright…of course I never go to the toilet when either of them do,that would be foolhardy in the extreme and if one comes in while I’m in mid-flow I run into the cubicle,bolt the door and shout out that I’m having a sloppy Guinness shit..that seems to deter their obviously predatory intentions.
        Morning LL

      • Puffs are only on the hunt for random mangina in pub-bogs 70% of the time, but as DFs actions show, one can’t be too careful.

    • I tend to go to the Rugby Club…there’s one or two of you who probably wouldn’t be welcome there either.

      Amazing how many rugby “fans” there are now that England have reached the final…probably be down Sport’s Direct to buy some cheap shirt tomorrow and consult Goggle to try and learn a few appropriate phrases before the final.

      Plastic fans of any sport are Cunts.

      • Id be welcome.
        I can mix in any social circle, im one of them -bon vivants’ types, a mover n shaker, cosmopolitan when suits rough as arseholes when in cups wi ruffians.
        What kind of snacks do they serve in this fuckin place anyway?
        Dont want any of the cow snot pudding shite!

    • I’d go back in Dick and tell her about your recent success in the Deadpool. That’ll have her shutting her knickers.

      • Fuck that ‘shitting’ her knickers. Her knickers have probably been shut for some time. Oh how we laugh at predictive text.

      • It deliberately chooses the less rude option. Need to recalibrate it for this site. I’m always having to go back and correct ducking, ship, wander, pointer, toaster, turf-burglar etc.

      • The old trout wasn’t the only one who shit her knickers that night judging by the state of my skiddies the next morning.

        Morning,Bertie.

    • Are you Edward from The League of Gentlemen by any chance Dick? If so did Tubbs ever get to Swansea?

      • Edward: “What’s going on? What’s all this shouting? We’ll have no trouble here!”Tubbs: “He’s trying to grab my petrol! He spoke of walking, but not on legs! Of travelling, Edward, but not on legs!”Aid worker: “Well, I’ve got a car, if that’s what she means!”Edward: “Devil! Propelled across the land in a carriage of no horse drawn, belching Satan’s black wind into our clean and local air! This is a decent town and a local shop; there’s nothing for you here!”

        Nobody,absolutely nobody, willingly goes to Swansea, O de C…well, Emiliano Sala did,and just look at how that ended for him.

      • This is s local shop for local people we will have no trouble here if you please.Where is it mr fiddler said he lived it certainly sounds like something out of royston vasey.

    • I bet its like the pub scene from An American Werewolf in London.

      I’ve been in places like that in certain parts of Yorkshire and up in Windermere when I went to the Lake District.

      • Lying twat. I’m from up Windermere way, the Marras don’t allow blodgers in the pubs.

      • Sorry I don’t know what Marras and blodgers are.

        All I can say is that I didn’t feel particularly welcome and presumed it was down to them not liking walkers.

  10. I hate the late 30’s to mid 40’s set in pubs, you only need a handful and they make more noise that the Kop on a Saturday afternoon.
    It’s not that they are arguing, no it’s the who’s got the biggest dick, fucking watches, cars and so on.
    It would actually be better if they went outside with a tape measure and got the cocks out! Bunch of cunts!

    Agree with the comments about kids in pubs, they shouldn’t be allowed in unless the pub has a specific family room (some do), as for the beer just go somewhere that serves what you like!

  11. Here In Brighton you can pay anything between £5 and £7 for a pint of Heineken or Kronunberg. I just don’t drink in these Pubs anymore. Well they call them Pubs, their more like a crèche these days selling pretentious food at extortionate prices and the place is full of Jamie Oliver Types. I hate it when the barman addresses me as Bud or Dude.
    I’m quite happy to go in my local Weatherspoons in Hove and get a pint for around £3 and observe all the local alcoholics and other assorted characters.

    • would probably have to hold your water in brighton don’t fancy visiting the gents down there

    • Brighton? Was there a couple of years back. Full of bandits and Lesleys, God forsaken shithole.

  12. “….forced to adapt by governments who don’t give a flying fuck about them and don’t care….”

    Oh they care about it Cupid; they care massively because…

    “… if it’s another British institution going to the dogs.”

    And there’s reason enough right there. The working class pub has always been a forum and civic space over which the elites and their ‘change agent’ proxies had very little socio-political control (mainly because they haven’t got the bollocks to walk into one). They’ve always been a hotbed and wellspring of debate floating on an even deeper pool of potential mass dissent. A dangerous mix in the eyes of any government with ulterior authoritarian designs. Of course ‘liberalism’ doesn’t rule by outright banning such public fora, what it does instead is neuter the threat hence shit like the smoking ‘ban’.

    My old man was steward of several working mens’ clubs and I spent my formative years in that environment. One social function that got thrown out was the social self policing that went on within that semi closed environment. Everyone knew everyone else and a youngster’s introduction to alcohol was effectively supervised and monitored by freinds, relatives, neighbours et al. Anyone playing up would have to bear in mind that their uncle was probably in the billiard room and if such behaviour didn’t get corrected on the spot a full report would reach the parental table by the morning. An effective deterrent that nurtured restraint now in large part lost so kids resort to getting hammered in underpasses.

  13. From the age of 14 to 28 I frequented my local boozer that was a 10 minute walk from home. It was a proper pub. Excellent quality beer, no fruit machines, no music, no tv in the bar. There were about ten of us in our little group and they were by far the best days of my life.
    We had a small room at the side to watch the football and a local Indian bloke used to bring us home made food in exchange for a couple of pints.
    Marstons Pedigree that took at least 5 minutes to settle crystal clear with a perfect head.
    Halcyon days.

    • We had the same sort of thing at a pub in a converted terraced house. 6 of us, all well underage and they knew it, but we drank copiously and were well behaved so they were happy for us to be there. One of the regulars was a constable from a station some 200 yards away but he totally left us alone as long as we kept schtum about it, since he was almost always on duty when he turned up. Marvelous times.

  14. The simple solution would have been to designate the saloon/lounge bar as non smoking and allow smoking in the public bar a bleedin obvious solution catering to all, but oh no liberal,clean air anti smoking n-a-zis can’t see that, you have got to fall in behind their opinions or go hang yourself

    • They used to have (depending on your locale) an off licence, snug, saloon and public bar, you were’nt allowed to buy a pint in the public bar & then proceed to drink it in the saloon you see different price, no kids, no fucking horse racing on the telly!

  16. As this isn’t the BBC, I can promote the option that exists to mostly avoid the unsavoury aspects of drinking such as phone use, music etc by popping in to a Samuel Smiths tavern where said activities are banned, now the quality of beer can be put up for debate and is a matter of personal preference but dark mild at £1.34 a pint can result in a long joyous evening at relative little cost ( depending on others preference) My trips to my local Smiths alehouse are always pleasant only occasionally spoilt usually by groups of women, (what is it with these people that want to cackle and screech at every spoken word) I believe the option still exists for people to find a pub that satisfy’s there preferences and long may it do so until we are all made to sit at home and drink a fruit and vegetable compote squashed between the virginal white thighs of Saint Greta Thunderbox

  17. Get down to Prague ya bunch of whinging cunts, some the best beer I’ve had, last time I checked you can now smoke in Bars and smoke weed all abaaaaht the place and the women are some of the best Europe has to offer.
    Abaaaht 6 years ago I met up with a beautiful blonde leggy Czech girl from Prague in Cyprus.
    After she got a taste of the good stuff she invited me to her country…she showed me all abaaaht the place and I fucked her loads… Even stuck my tongue up her arsehole after a bender.
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • I’m amazed that you haven’t contracted E.coli yet B&W.

      Elton John contracted it a few years ago – not that I’m insinuating anything.

      • It’s something I reserve for the very classiest of Ladies after spraying their bumholes with Flash antibacterial spray (kills ecoli)
        I avoid the typical chavy slaaag, I appreciate your concern.

      • Unfortunately for me the classy ladies are a bit of a rare beast round my neck of the woods.

        More often than not they’re more like Scarlett Moffatt than Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

        Shame innit!

      • Coming from a working class background but thankfully doing well for myself I notice some of the local ladies are a bit too classy and stuck up.
        I got my eye on this yank bird who lives in a big massive two floor apartment opposite me…no shit she must be paying around £1000 a week and even when she walks her rat dog she wears expensive clothes.
        She needs a bit of rough.

      • Needs a bit of rough….
        Send her to stockport! She’ll be over the moon!👍

  18. On my travels I like to find little oasis’s where one can find a nice pint of “hand crank”.

    When I arrive new I check out boozers but always establish that they have at least one beer available, and by beer, that precludes John Smith’s or any other form of pressurised piss. I also scope the fridge to see if there’s at least a bottle of Newcastle Brown or Double Maxim back-up amongst the cuntitude of alco-pops and pretend cider bottles.

    If none of the above I walk on. Prices vary but the average is around £3.30 for a pint of good ale, hitting an eye-watering £6 in the Shitty.

    My current haunt is in Norfolk where I’m treated to a most excellent pint of Timothy Taylor’s Landlord for a whopping £1.80 – and no, it’s NOT a ‘spoons!

    I don’t mind paying for a well kept pint so long as it has the right atmosphere, i.e., no screaming brats, no deafening music and a seat as far away from Sky/BT football as possible, to be left alone to read me paper and sup me pint in peace.

    Anyone who drinks John Smith’s has given up IMO.

    Anyone who drinks lager outside of a summer’s holiday on the continent is a cunt! You might as well ask for a soy latte you cunts!

    P.S. My current home tipple of choice is Brewdog’s Mr President Double IPA. £6 for 4 bottles in Tesco (9.2% abv). Even nicer with a tumbler of Tullamore Dew Irish Whiskey. Lager swilling nancy-boys need not apply. Stick to the Fosters!

      • Try Timothy Taylor’s Boltmaker a superb ale harder to find than Landlord but worth the effort

      • I most certainly am Seymour, with a bit of “Brown Bottle” thrown in for good measure!

  19. When it comes to tinnies I like Stones Bitter very reasonably priced but extremely difficult to come by around here, used to like there TV adverts emphasising its Yorkshire heritage but that is no longer the case being part of one of the large american brew houses now

  21. A few rare drinking pubs in my hometown still. The ones on the outskirts are big family-friendly pubs. Goid for a meal but not a big piss-up.
    Luckily most of the pubs in the town are down the sorts of thoroughfares that make Game of Thrones look futuristic.

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