Ryan-Mark Parsons

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Ryan-Mark Parsons – “Who the fuck is this?” you may ask.

He is one of the new intake on The King Of Wank Spanners – The Apprentice.

Please let me digress and tell you more about this Mark. Anyone with a double barrelled name is indeed a two Dad cunt. He explains more about himself as you can see below:

‘Two Dads’ describes himself as “a 60-year-old trapped in a teenager’s body”….

What the fuck?

A luxury Womenswear consultant from South East London, he has a passion for the finer things in life….

He said: “I like to think of myself like a handbag… this beautiful handbag embezzled in diamonds and the beautiful crocodile finish”…

If I see that bag, I will have a huge shite in it!

“But it’s actually concealing something inside – and that’s what I like to bring to the table”….

You are indeed a massive cunt.

“I’m concealing a fire and I’m not afraid to step on other people’s toes”….

Fucking Grenfell Tower survivors will have your card marked.

Another Apprentice Cunt.

Nominated by James McMahon

75 thoughts on “Ryan-Mark Parsons”

  1. I gave up on the Apprentice show years ago, chiefly because they’re all a bunch of rich arrogant cunts on one side of the table, and a bunch of desperate, arrogant wannabe cunts on the other.

    This twat confirms nothing has changed, and he, like so many others, wants his 15 minutes. And to do that he gives himself a really shite persona that he knows you’ll love to hate. But being nice and kind never pans out on social media, or any form of media – you only get noticed if you’re a horrible arrogant cunt.

    Step forward Parsons, and enjoy your 15 minutes of cuntitude before you disappear back into your darkened bedroom at your parents, watching “Wall Street” night after night and thinking “Greed is good: that could’ve been me!”

    • The apprentice – Cunt shite that was past it’s best 10 years ago (and that’s not saying much)

      BBC can’t fund free licenses for over 75’s, but they manage to find money for this wank, & no doubt Amstrad boy Sugar’s fat fee.

      Load of old wank.

      Make BBC like PBS in America – a true public broad casting channel. All documentaries & educational.
      Let Sky, Amazon & Netflix soak up the costs of Strictly fucking dancing & any celebrity shite. They’ve all got plenty of dosh – no need to squander license payers money.

      When I were a lad, I’d watch Saturday Matinee on BBC2 with my Gran. Old B&W proper movies & my Gran would tell me the actors names. Must have cost the BBC peanuts. Same at Christmas – Laurel & Hardy & the Marx Bros movies all over the holidays.
      Now it’s bloody Eastenders repeats, daytime drivel repeats, loads of crap.

      Fuck the BBC & their expensive, NO value for money TV license.

  2. ‘Two Dads’ describes himself as “a 60-year-old trapped in a teenager’s body”…..

    I bet the Sod knows all about having a 60 year old trapped in his body,the dog-tying bum-bandit.

    I too have given up with The Apprentice…revolting contestants who you wouldn’t employ to spray perfume in a disabled toilet, that old slapper Karen Brady who resembles a Grimsby trawler in size,smell and desirability and finally old Lord Ballbag himself, a walking,talking recruitment poster for Hamas.

    Fuck them.

  3. Hes 12. He collects names.
    He thinks hes a handbag.
    Look you silly little cunt,
    Your dealing with ISAC now,
    People too tight to pay 30p for a plastic bag nevermind jewel encrusted ones!
    Get to your fuckin room and get your homework done or the belt comes off.

      • Bit late but afternoon Moggie!
        Haha yeah at 30p I want my moneys worth!
        Wrap it and carry it out to my car, theres a good chap, chop chop..😁

  4. Fucking shite programme. Part of the shitfest that embodies all that’s wrong with television nowadays.

    • Yep fucking shite programs Anything with reincarnated Sid James (Alan Sugar) in it gets switched straight off Tony Blair’s business advisor a proper cunt

  5. The BBC ought to be ashamed that they are still churning out this tired, predictable old bollocks year after year.
    Put it in the shitcan where it belongs.

    • The BBC seem proud of their lack of imagination these days -shit like Casualty, Question of Sport, HIGNFY, Antiques Roadshow, Strictly Come Mincing and this crap have been on for years – decades in some cases. Wireless 4 is even worse with shows that have been on more than half a century Just A Minute, Woman Sour etc. etc. Time to bin the lot.

    • Seriously, someone needs to get some ISAC branded merch out there. The Cunt Wall banner would look smashing slapped across my rippling torso, I’d def wear the cunt!

  6. I’ve never watched The Apprentice. Not my thing really, this character looks like a right Cunt.
    As for glorified barrow boy, Alan Sugar. The fact that he was made a Lord, is more than enough reason to raze ‘ the other place ‘ to the ground and bulldoze the remnants into oblivion.
    In other news, the stabby darker hued Cunt in Manchester, has been detained under the Mental Health Act.
    Weeeeeell, who’d have thunk it ?
    You couldn’t make it up, well actually you could.
    They obviously think we’re stupid.
    Get To Fuck.

    • I was having a chat with a friend who does EOD for the UN, we spoke about a recent stabbing in France by a young Afghan.
      I stated that there may be “Cultural differences”, He looked at me and said “as someone who has lived in Afghanistan for a long time, I can tell you that its not normal behaviour over there either”.
      So there must be something in it, either the long range travel causes mental fatigue, or they don’t like us?

    • It is reassuring to learn that is lamb is now officially considered to be a mental health issue.

    • A cunt professor of ‘terrorism studies’ was on the radio earlier. Asked to comment on the attack, professor Cunt predictably went straight into “the rise of far-right terrorism” mode.

      • We offer our terrorists mental health treatment whereas China offer theirs “education.”
        Education, education, education I say.

      • That should read “re-education, re-education, re-education.” In “holiday” camps.

      • Urgent research is needed into why Mudslime terrorists have so many mental health issues. Strange how this doesn’t seem to be the case with right wing terrorists who all apparently know what they’re doing. Still, the rise in mental health costs seem to be a price worth paying for diversity.

        If all these home grown ISIS terrorists are eventually ‘repatriated’ to this country, then the cost of mental health programs will bankrupt this country.

    • I think detaining the coloured wanderer under the Brain The Cunt With A Sledgehammer Act would be preferable.
      Fucking scum.

  7. The only qualification for appearing on The Apprentice is that you have to be an ocean going cunt with a misplaced ego the size of the Galaxy. Cunts to a man and this handbag twat appears only slightly more deranged than the rest – including that fishy smelling skank Brady.

    Fuck off.

  8. The Apprentice has nothing to do with its supposed business remit. It’s just another cheap Reality TV show, and a poor one at that. A pale copy of the American original, which in its time was at least occasionally entertaining.

    Sugar is a scam artist. This Ryan-Mark Parsons fuck has clearly been chosen for his novelty freak value and nothing more. why anyone with more than half a brain cell would waste their time watching this shite in 2019 is truly beyond me.

  9. I wonder what the average IQ is for fellow cunters. 120 maybe? So how the fuck can anyone of them admit to watching the Apprentice? I mean, to actually nominate the cunt fest, where is the dignity?

    • I don’t know my IQ but I can think of one particular Poster who would be furious if he thought that he may be interacting with people whose IQ is only a miserable (by his standards) 120.
      Best to claim that we’re all far brighter than those thick Cunts at Mensa.

      • The mean IQ of posters has plummeted to merely above-average levels since he turned into a black rectangle and left orbit.

      • ‘whose IQ is only a miserable (by his standards) 120’

        @Miserable’s IQ is far higher than that Mr F. He’s from Yorkshire.

        Yes the ‘Particular Poster’. Do you think he’s that intelligent? I am not so sure. Oh yes he can do crosswords puzzles and the mathematical games. (As he said in the Nom they were nothing to him). But what about his overall learning? He quotes 1984 or Brave New World but that’s basically the extent of it. I mean you did those books for O-Level 40 years ago! For fuck’s sake. A little Learning is a dangerous thing.

      • “ He’s from Yorkshire.”
        I wouldn’t like to be in your shoes Miles when Miserable reads that! That’s the worst thing you could say to a Mancunian.

      • Dunno what my IQ is Miles,if im honest dont really care, must be high because I can read the Dandy from cover to cover without moving my lips.
        Also can do joined up writing and know my left an right.
        Those eggheads at mensa better pull up another chair at the table!😁

      • Not a yorkshireman Miles, although a lot of my family are,
        Im between manchester and the peak district.
        On the border where cheshire & Derbyshire meet!

      • Oh dear just as I was questioning another’s knowledge Miserable. Insant Karma. Always terrible at geography. Should have used the general term Up Norf.

    • wouldn’t suggest my IQ gets to such dizzy heights ! but I can raise the vitriol level out of sight when required

    • I don’t know if it changes with age but in my 20’s it was 158. Not that knowing what number or shape comes next in a sequence makes you intelligent in life, I’m stupid enough to be unemployed with £20k of credit card debt. Plus, intelligence doesn’t automatically preclude ignorance.

      • IQ scores over 130 are more difficult to measure accurately so most psychometric speciallists use it as a cut off and say ‘gifted’.

        I find lower IQ people far more interesting, particularly their antics on Love Island and assorted Beebistan programmes.

        Epsilons, the lot of them (Miles will know).

    • Average IQ of 120 for IsACS? You must be having a bubble!
      If that was the average, then that would place some of us in the MENSA category!
      Hold on, that could be true!
      😊

    • I pride myself in being above average and i can concur that what has been said(to anyone with a brain)is simply this the apprentice is shit so is nearly all telly at present)gave up watching that shite fest years ago /i think most isac supporters will freely admit the same only strengthening the resolve.

  10. Haven’t seen this bag of shit for years. But this cunt seems like a normal contestant – deluded, affected, metropolitan, right-on and no doubt will turn out to be incompetent.
    I eagerly coudnt give a fuck for the outcome.

  11. Home Office has stated that this year 1456 illegal doctors, nurses and architects have arrived on little boats 🚣‍♂️ crossing the Channel. 85 (6%) have been deported.
    Cunts.

    • As we know, once they make Blighty shores they are set up for life.
      Too dangerous to send them back see.
      Never watch the Apprentice but wouldn’t mind shagging Michelle Dewberry who once appeared on it.

  13. I really cannot fathom how this programme is is still going or more pointedly, who the total fucking mongs are that actually watch that shit.

    I honestly don’t know where they find the ‘contestants’ for this puddle of wank. They appear to select the most conceited, mouthy, obnoxious, bottom-feeding cunts that they can drag out from under their rocks.

    It is a fucking farce anyway as like most of these BBC competition-type shows, it is fixed as fuck, all decided by the Producers and everything that spews out of Alan Sugar’s ginormous piehole is scripted. What can you expect from the BBC anyway, except yet another example of their control freakery and biased slant on fucking everything.

    As for that pudding faced, Michael McIntyre-looking, man child cunt in the photo, well that says it all, doesn’t it? If it looks like a cunt, walks like a cunt, it’s a cunt.

    • There’s no evidence that anybody is watching. Let’s face it, they could play white noise on the radio stations and the test card on the tv channels for 24 hours a day and still get their money. Some days I would prefer that to the biased sjw output they do have. The little girl on the test card would be on £2m a year and even the puppet would be paying higher rate tax – that’s if anybody there pays any tax at all.

      • That BBC2 colour test-card girl used to give me the right ‘orn.
        And, if older cunters remember the test film “The Home-Made Car”, WOWWW !! That dog was a scorcher….

  14. can’t make out if he’s got his hand up his arse or stroking his own bollocks, there’s definitely something going on down there

  15. Two dads? Well at least he has parents of as sort. Unlike poor Jack-

    ‘To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.’

    And a handbag?

    ‘To be born, or at any rate bred, in a handbag, whether it has handles or not, seems to me to display a contempt for the ordinary decencies of family life that reminds one of the worst excesses of the French Revolution.’

    He might have difficulty in later life:

    ‘You can hardly imagine that I and Lord Bracknell would dream of allowing our only daughter – a girl brought up with the utmost care – to marry into a cloakroom, and form an alliance with a parcel?’

    • Lord Fortnum turned into a bed-sitting room in Spine Millington’s play.

      Perhaps the esteemed Lord Fiddler has heard of similar occurences in the local gentry ??

  16. The Apprentice and its contestants are as genuine as a fucking surprise in a Kinder Egg. He’s a performing gibbon, as all Apprentice contestants are, and always have been.

    They act like twats for the narrative, probably fed their most odious lines by the genuinely odious BBC producers. Is it any surprise the most egregious cunts are kept on the show when it has nothing to do with running a business and they are merely there to create ‘drama’and media coverage?

    I dont necessarily disagree with the cunting, but all of this TV is garbage and poorly-scripted, transparently adversarial panto.

    A bit like Question Time, really.

    • Am not entirely sure that they are as sophisticated as gibbons…

      Maybe pre-loved small rodents from Uncle Elsan’s “Board of Directoires.”

  18. At least he doesn’t need to wear a sandwich board with “I am a cunt, please punch me, kick me and stamp on my stupid head” as his face absolutely screams that message. One of those Owen Jones style despisable cunts that you could quite happily set fire to.

  19. Sir Alan do us a big favour and retire, enjoy your money drive fast cars, breed unicorns or something. Please stop conspiring to inflict a bunch of hopeless cunts on us poor mortals every fucking year. You do not need to do this crap, please stop.

  20. I still watch this but only so I can get angry and shut cunt a lot and scream at the telly box. Fucking jumped up little wank-stains thinking that they are more important and clever than us. Couldn’t project manage opening a door without blaming each other for pushing when they should have pulled. Div heads

    • You may as well shout at Hollyoaks. It’s all made-up. They’re playing carictures of uppity careerists, just as the people on Gogglebox are told to be dopey but amiable by their channel 4 handlers.

  21. I’ve never watched this shit, and I’m not going to start any time soon. Even the premise is cunt. A bunch of cunts suck up to a rich cunt in the hope they can become rich cunts too. And, what does that cunt Sugar do anyway? All I remember him doing was Amstrad, makers of absolutely shit electrical goods. Fuck off, the lot of them.

  22. If it wasn’t for The Apprentice and My 600lb Life I’d never watch the idiot box anymore. Seeing as I hate just about everyone in the world, The Apprentice is perfect. It just gives me an hour a week to sit and despise people and sneer at their stupidity. That said, this Ryan-Mark twat is worse than most and is a weapons grade cunt so bravo for the nomination.

    • No fraid not! He has allergies.
      Likes yellow cock though!
      Tastes like soy sauce before you ask.

  25. My missus saw this little shit the other night and I swear if she’d have had a brick to hand the telly would be totally fucked.

  26. Put his head in a vice.
    Burn his lordship at the stake just for Amstrad computers alone,never mind the wonderful televisual feast he chairs.
    Pigshit for pigs.

    • Nobody ever managed to make a Z80 processor work harder than the people who designed the Amstrad computers – who did not include the sewer-rat Sugar. Trouble was they were well behind the curve and believed that their storage and connections could become industry standard. Burn the cunt for his scrap lo-fi audio kit. Or simply for being a gargantuan cunt. I will be at the pyre cheering.

  27. this beautiful handbag embezzled in diamonds and the beautiful crocodile finish”…
    Does not know what embezzled means. Illiterate.
    On his vainglorious website, the cunt claims to be CEO of “Ryan-Mark Consultancy”. According to Companies House, there was a Ryan Mark consultancy, no hyphen, incorporated in 2009 and dissolved in July this year. He was not involved in this. There is no Ryan-Mark Consultancy with a hyphen. He was the CEO of Luxury Consultancy Limited, incorporated December 2018, application to be struck off January 2019, dissolved June 2019. My guess is that this outfit was formed purely and simply to invent a business background.

    He also claims to have been awarded a Fellowship of the Royal Society of Arts at the age of 18. Now I welcome better-informed opinion on this, but the RSA ostensibly awards fellowships to individuals who have made significant contributions to society. But its website gives the impression that an email application, accompanied by £15 – odd a month will do the trick. I’d be fascinated to kow what this selfpromoting pigfaced shitebag has done for society by age 18, other than make some of it think deeply about eugenics.

    A classic, eminently cuntable and born to be cunted, probable con artist and cunt.

  28. Dare I ask what in the name of suffering fuck a ‘luxury womenswear consultant’ does?

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