I’d like to nominate pen chewers in the workplace. Dirty, disgusting fuckers. Take your incisor indented biros home and don’t leave them for other poor saps to pick up.
Had the last laugh on some daft bint who used to do this. She later found out that the previous occupant at her desk used the same pen to dig out his earwax.
He was a cunt too.
Nominated by Mystic Maven
Ah… the nurse has just brought me my elevenses…
6
I remember at school some swotty kid holding a new ink cartridge in his teeth as he unscrewed his pen to take the empty one out. I lent across and wacked him one under the chin…fucking ink went all over the Cunt.
How we all laughed.
Fuck Off.
15
Oh Fiddler you rotter. I once flicked a piece of plasticine into a lads earhole from across the classroom. He was the class ‘scruff’, hand-me-down uniform, unmown lawn and abandoned fridge in the front garden type plus lugholes you could grow potatoes in.
4
Good idea with the hollow capped biro pens is to dip the caps in shit. Said pen chewer goes to bite on one and gets a taste of the brown. Sorted!
5
The pen is mightier than the sword. But you couldn’t defend yourself if you only had a pen. You couldn’t deflect any thrusts or sleights in a fight. A pen would be just no good. No, they got that wrong. The sword is mightier than the pen.
5
The pen is
is mightier than the sword.
4
And tastier, apparently.
6
The sword is mightier than the word processor too.
As James Foley (the American journalist) tragically found out when ISIS cut off his head in 2014.
Not as mighty as the gun or the atom bomb though, I would argue.
5
No I’ve changed my view RT. The pen is mightier than the sword. In fact it’s mightier than the gun. Mao was wrong- political power comes down the barrel of a ball point pen.
4
Or a Parker 51 fountain pen (with ‘aerometric’ filler mechanism)…
I think we have a meeting of minds Miles.
3
As our office is now a designated paper free workplace I’ve taken to chewing colleagues computer keyboards while they’re out of the office….
11
I couldn’t give a shite if a pen had been chewed or not when I worked in A&E. Finding a pen to use was like finding Lord Lucan riding on the back of Shergar whilst holding the Holy Grail…..like fucking gold dust.
If you put a pen down there, if would be gone in seconds. It was fucking ridiculous. I’d turn up for work with a shitload in my pocket, and be left with one solitary fucker by the shift’s end.
Never work in the NHS. It is the workplace equivalent of the Bermuda Triangle.
15
Morning Nurse,
Have you tried keeping a pen on a string?
Or get one of those joke pens that give a little electric shock when clicked so no one borrows one of yours again.
5
Afternoon Spoony.
Yep, I actually ended up getting a pen on a string thing that goes around the neck. Trouble is, I kept putting the fucker down and forgetting where I left it, so every time I grabbed for my pen all that was there was the fucking lid…..
Silly cow.
6
You need to visit Pen island. It’s wonderful there… I believe.
3
Chavs I had the misfortune of working with deliberately chewed up the pens I lent them the cunts. Thank goodness for all the small pens you now get from betting shops.
3
If you ever have the misfortune to be dragged round IKEA, nick a load of pencils; better quality than most of their merchandise.
1