Turkish barber shops

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Turkish barber shops.
I live in between two small towns; there are six Turkish barber shops within three miles of where I live. Fucking six. I know it’s the biggest, most obvious drug/human trafficking laundering front ever. The one I drive past most days always has the owner(?) outside next to his £100000 Range Rover, smoking and on the phone. This cunt is not cutting much hair. At £8 per crop and various other options does not afford to pay for his fucking awful choice of a shit car. Don’t get me wrong, I know of a lot of hairdressers who have made a very good living operating shops where there was a need. But fucking six within six miles?. And fucking Turkish. I’m calling fucking shenanigans on this. Fucking nefarious cunts all of them. Are the police just finished with everything now apart from hate speech?. Fuck this utter shit hole.

Nominated by W.A. Anchor

44 thoughts on “Turkish barber shops”

  1. Cash only, sir. Our machine is broken.
    Barbers, kebab shop owners, dealers, loathsome barbarians.

  2. “Cash no cards”
    “I got weed”
    “You looking for young girls?”
    “I get you car. Good car!

    That’s my one and only experience in a TBS in some dodgy shithole part of Birmingham.

    Whatever happened to “Short back and sides, sir?”

    • It adds a whole new meaning to the question you were once asked discreetly, “Something for the weekend sir”.

  3. My local one, hair cut, hair wash, hot face towel? massage? fingers pulled? ears burnt? styled , with optional tea or coffee all for £10.
    After falling out with the owner of the Kebab shop I no longer go there (he owns them both)

  4. As I’ve said before, my little town has three barbers, three kebab shops, and now a Turkish restaurant on one street, less than quarter of a mile. Did Turkey join the EU without us knowing? They seem to have little problem migrating here.
    I have successfully avoided the news this weekend, apart from yesterday on radio two. First item, the bombings in Sri Lanka, which made no mention of the perpetrators, it was almost like reporting from a natural disaster. Second item was about a mosque that had been subjected to racist graffiti three nights in a row. Third item was about a murder kidnapping. Glad to see the beeb has kept its world class standard for news reporting, and I would gladly pay double the current licence fee to see it continue.

  5. On Ipswich reckon about one in every six shops is a barbers, more often than not an Eastern European barbers.

    One in every six a pound shop.

    One in every six is a charity shop.

    One in every six is a coffee shop/cafe.

    Largest store by far in Ipswich town centre a Debenhams. When this goes apart from M&S very little significant outlets remaining.

    • Thought for the day. Your choice. You have to have sex with either Diane Abbott or Camilla Parker Bowles. And suicide isn’t an option.

    • Ah now i get it…..

      The alcohol ban is only aimed at the larger louts, its not aimed at fine upstandng citizens….

      CUNTS!

    • Another bit of hagiography for the Groan’s favourites. Is the hack on the Labour payroll?

  7. I can’t help but feel nostalgia for turkish barber shops.

    When I was but a Minor-Rigsby, I used to get my hair done at ‘Tonys’ on Brockley Rise. There would be an array of spank mags in the waiting area and by all accounts, Tony used to run a couple of brasses out of the flat above the shop.

  8. The ongoing saga of missing Madeleine McCann.

    https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/8906844/madeleine-mccann-case-solved-one-week-dna-evidence/amp/

    The options to try and identify the culprits to her disappearance, either:

    Use brand new technology which may be able to test DNA samples from the boot of the McCanns holiday hire car

    OR

    Another £150,000 for the Met from the Home Office so another holiday in which their fruitless fucking efforts can continue for another 12 months. Total cumulative cost in excess of £12m.

    • Aren’t these pair of cunts due another publicity stunt? Oops, I mean another heartfelt plea from all and sundry to find Maddy, as they believe there is still hope!

      This translates as “It’s been a year since we last bleated to all the main media channels. We need another holiday; we need another car; we need an extension to one of our houses – can’t remember which one; we need a top up in our pension pot.

      And… oh yeah… we need a few quid for the incompetent police to look for…. errr… what’s her name again? Mandy? Mardy? Oh… Maddie, that’s right. Maddy. We need some cash for her. Not that the coppers will ever find her because we….. oh… forget that!

      Anyway, please crowdfund us. Nothing less than £500 per donation. Hurry up!”

  9. The Turks are dodgy fuckers. They control one of the main routes into Europe for the golden brown. I like kebab with all salad though.

    • The only Golden Brown in a kebab shop is the dead retriever hanging on the meat skewer. Texture like Sun.

      • GS, you’ve got me wondering where they get that shite from? Is it ‘Special import’…could be bits of some cunt who upset President Erdogan in there. I think I’ll stick to the Shish kebab with all salad from now on.

      • Too late B&WC. Bound to be all-sorts of creature in the ‘Cone of Anatolia’. One of the original ‘wonders’ of the ancient world.

  10. The British high street 2019,
    The Albanian Cafe which doesn’t have any coffee for sale, the Polski sklep with some 60 a day smoking sunburnt/alcoholic lobster pole cunt serving, some pub full of old bitter alcoholic looking English cunts with an advert for a Ska night on the board outside, a bookies with a load of old black cunts outside and Erroll the Jamaicunt selling a bit of weed, Poundland or whatever the fuck pound shop wiv some fat slag and her 3 kids and her mentally challenged bloke in a tracksuit of course, the £4 a cup organic/single origin coffee shop recently opened by Tarquin and Jemima, the Halal Butcher’s, some old shite bike shop that’s been shut for years and a charity shop. What a pile of cunt… I hate everyone. Fuck, piss and cunt off.

      • Wonderful description of the High Street. I can see it in all its dreariness. More like this please.

      • Nail bars and fast food shops and “coffee centres” seem to be our most popular shops. Rich blokes air their whores by taking them to the nail bar then dropping off for an hour in the coffee shop, while the girls get their talons ponced up.

    • Indeed Black and White Cunt, one could add a dodgy foreign run takeaway that never seems to have enough customers to be commercially viable, a worryingly cheap foreign run fried chicken shop. Jobless human vermin milling around like extras from a zombie movie.

      Litter blowing around in the breeze, an offy specializing in super strength lager, an abandoned video hire shop, dodgy Quick Cash pawnbroker outlet with the biggest ugliest eastern European flathead outside it. A bookmakers with soulless dead eyed skinny scruffy old fuckers entering an leaving.

      An estate agents where the staff don’t look out of the window in the morning so they have something to do in the afternoon. A fishing tackle shop been there 100 years owned by the creepiest looking pervert you have ever seen.

      Or just ‘Kings Lynn’ as it is more commonly known

      • Ahhhh! King,s Lynn, A watering hole of mine in past history. I remember some old cunt with an old decrepit schooner, moored on the quay with a possession ( for destruction ) order nailed to its mast. Christ it was in a sorry old state !

  11. You’re on holiday, you return to your apartment to find your child missing, you run back to the restaurant to alert everybody. Any normal person would say “I can’t find Madeleine” or “Madeleine is missing.”

    Nobody would say “They’ve taken her,” as Kate McCann did according to a statement given by one of the creche nannies at the holiday resort.

    Taken, Taken, Taken….get that word into people’s heads.

    The fix is in.
    Not one piece of evidence to suggest there was an abduction.

  12. Turkish barbers shops seem to be the country’s biggest growth industry. Just as an aside, does anyone know how all these cunts manage to get in here in the first fucking place?

  13. I used to live in Dunstable, one of the biggest shit-holes in the Northern Hemisphere.
    (If you’re unfamiliar with it, it’s right next to Luton and it’s full of guttersnipes, chavs, scratters, sausage-fingered polacks, gypsies and townie cunts)
    The only units that aren’t boarded up are estate agents, charity shops and Turkish barbers. It’s a really small centre, yet there must be at least five of them.

  15. They must be very good at blatently laundering cash. Or, can you not investigate a brown person now. I want to smash that fucking heroin dealing cunts face in. I fucking know what he’s doing. Fuck it, I’m going to steal anything. CUNTS

  16. These Turkish cunts are everywhere…. The Grapes pub in Prestwich is now a Turkish restaurant… But right opposite it across the road is…. Another old pub turned into another Turkish restaurant… Also on the same road are about three different Turkish barbers… Not forgetting Cunningham’s sweet shop and tobacconists being turned into a Polish convenience store, then there’s the Lithunaian Off Licence… In fact the only English shop in Prestwich is now Tescos…. Mark E Smith will be turning in his grave and Tony Blair has infested this country…

  17. I hate hate hate the turks, what good does the turkroach do for the world seriously? I can’t think of that many things aside from cuisine like swedish meatballs (yeah apparently they are not really swedish who knew), figs (they don’t even grow the best figs either but they grow the most) and turkish delights and the bad outweighs the good

    They are a major, major exporter of jihadi terrorism and refugees ergodan has constantly threatened to export more The EU is fine with emboldening them thats why they made them a member the backward mongy cunts

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