Fosters Radler

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Now unbeknownst to you all I once ran a 25 litre reflux still and used to knock out my own hooch.

My specialty was a ginger vodka that would put the Prince of Wales to shame.

Anyway, to cut to the chase; I used to pour samples into milk bottles and wait for them to clarify. One night I had sampled a bit and decided not to take the trip and used a handy receptacle.

The next night I went to check my stock and found a perfect sample, good Ginger aroma so I took a swig. Aroma/flavor/ after burn were some what lacking.

So on this I would like to educated announce that the “Fosters Radler” tastes worse than my piss (samples available on request)

Nominated by Lord Benny

39 thoughts on “Fosters Radler”

  1. Never heard of this but if it is anything like as good as their lager then I cant wait.

  3. Duly noted Lord Benny, I will not be doing the Fosters v Lord Benny tastes test, your word is adequate.

    Many Thanks

    • I wonder if it tastes better than sheep dip? I would ask Mr. Fidler for the answer to that one, but I expect that he’s never imbibed Foster’s Radler…

      • Certainly not, Sir Stanley. I did once have a few cans of ordinary Fosters when on a bus trip stag do. Worst handover that I’ve ever had the next day…could only be the Fosters muck that caused it.

    • I think it’s from the German for cyclist/driver, or more broadly (and etymologically accurate) “wheels man”. As in The Sweeney.

      I fondly recall the Laurie Mcmenemy (spelling?) adverts for “Barbican : alcohol-free lager” in the 1980s. The daft old footballer should have been run over by a bus from Byker, optimally, although his ludicrous Geordie glottal rendering of the word “alcohol” was perhaps his main claim to fame, and the funding of his retirement.

      Dead Pool material, or has the soft old mard-arse already met his Maker?

      That particular beverage was a beastly confection of the purest fraudulent wickedness and sheer evil (and the cause of utter disgust to all who tried it). It has kept me off the straight-and-narrow ever since.

      • Apparently old Laurie is still in the land of living at the ripe old age of 82, undoubtedly still dining off the proceeds of his Barbican flog-fest.

        I did try Barbican in the 80’s. It had a nose reminiscent of placing one’s head over the cat litter tray and inhaling deeply.

      • I just sniffed (not too deeply) my cats litter tray, quite pleased I never tried Barbican.

      • Fkn bag of shite. Mcnemeny should be placed (ideally, and to save reagents together with that unfunny recent cuntee Steven Coogan) in a largish vat of an aprotic solvent, such as DMF¹ and left his own devices for a day or two, and then incinerated.

        ¹ referring to 2,5-Dimethylfuran, obviously.

      • DMF more usually refers to N,N-dimethylformamide, which is protic. Perhaps you’re confusing it with THF – tetrahydrofuran. In any case, why?

      • You’ve got to laugh, Komodo! No indeed, IUPAC nomenclature did always elude me (a little) though DMF [CH₃)₂NCH] is pretty mainstream.
        In my A- and S- level days, I actually had the temerity to refer to hydrochloric acid as “spirits of salt”, “the muriate” etc.
        The school got a letter from the JMB¹ advising them to desist from using non-IUPAC terminology. (which was obviously a “result” for a precocious 18-year old, and has done me untold harm).

        I did promise to avoid you/thiswankerisness/etc but am currently a bit bored. Very surprised to spar on, old chap, but there’ll be no winners or losers!

        I assume, with your remarkable dexterity of that right pinkie you’re starting to “triangulate” my “true” identity. (Your form with Miranda’s private jet number-plate went not unobserved).

        Hehe, ally perhaps too much, but a trucial state would be nice? Or not?? You win m8, troll and trawl not my bag, I’ll leave that to Bodey and Doyle!

        Bloody funny business you chirping back, all the same! Looks like you will have the last word!

        73 de J

  5. Some fat bird waddled up next to me at the bar and said, “Fancy buying me a drink? I’m a lager girl.”
    I said, “It’s pronounced larger”….

    • One skank had the audacity to ask if I drank a lot!

      “Not enough to tell you about it in the morning!”

      —-

      Lies of course. I’d never treat a lady with such derision.

      Luckily she wasn’t a lady! 😘

  6. Off topic….
    I have just been watching the news and pictures from Mozambique, white aid/rescue workers saving people from the floods…..

    Any comment Mr Lammy?????

    • David is unable to comment at the moment.

      He is still trying to get the Vatican to admit their use of white of black smoke when selecting a new Pope is indeed racist. He will not accept that through his own ignorance he made himself look a bit silly.

      A quote from David..

      “I made meself look a right cunt then innt bruv!”

      Once he has dealt with that piece of blatant racism he needs to deal with Stacey KKK Dooley and her nasty habit of flaunting her white privilege in Africa pretending to be helping victims of colonial abuse.

      Another quote from David.

      “It’s all very well going round raising money for Africa but that just fixes some of the problems, so I is in the Parliament bigging up them blacks there ain’t got no water and shit, next thing you know Stacey Dooley get them cunts on the water mains and they is on TV in the Jacuzzi blud eating fucking KFC looking all happy n shit. I ain’t having it.”

      • No more whire saviours, we dont need to see images of a white man in a boat plucking a black child from the flood waters…..

        Something like that maybe

    • I mean timing is everything isn’t it!

      How perfect!

      I hope every interview he does from now on starts: “So David, how many people in Mozambique could that £8million ‘white saviour’ money help?”

      That will end the conversation as he will throw a strop and storm off!

      A zero word Lammy interview. Magic!

  7. Off topic again … but my piss is boiling.
    Radio 2 ..Jeremy Swine discussing ‘Tax Avoidance’ … the same Cunt that had his ten year old daughter registered as a shareholder in a self employed company he set up for himself … I hope some fucker phones in and takes him to task on it.

    • According to black Dave “Tremendous Knowledge” Rainford, (another of my dodgy acquaintances, at best) Mr Swine is a well-chosen moniker, Mr Boilsmypiss; Mr Vine has rather a bad case of halitosis, and smells pretty “rank” ( one of Dave’s favourite words).

  8. I think i sipped one, once. It wouldve been in a Wetherspoons with college friends.

    I ran out into one of the Southampton parks , found a ripe tramp and sucked him off to get rid of the taste.

  9. Mr Swine aka Mr Smarm.

    One of the most oleaginous, snivelling little pricks who has had the good fortune to get permanently stuck in the BBC feeding trough. Apparently his trough munching buddy is Steve Wright (cue self-congratulatory hand-claps and cheering).

    CUNTS

    • Cunts indeed, Paul M, und… Germanenmessern (das Gute Stück von Ern, klar!) zu denen schwuchtls: diese blöden Frechen Kerlen mit der Verwegenheit können mir alle einen ‘runterholen. Büßen werden die alle.

  10. Apologies for O/T but NZ woman says peace be upon you, in a strange tongue. Sickening

  11. Sounds nasty so its like a lemon alchopop mixed with beer, thats what it is right? low alcohol too most don’t go past 3%

  12. Fosters isn’t really a good lager either, so many decent lagers out there, so why get a fosters?! but I’m sure hipsters will drink this sickly sweet beer alchopop If you are gonna do radler right buy the beer of your choice make some fresh lemonade and make a shandy

      • whats deep your mothers hairy cunt? lol, silentkey? wtf are you talking about caughtspedding out with it man

      • Good morning,TS, and my apologies.

        By 5 pm yesterday I had already hit the finest of wacky, and was full-sparked well before News At Ten. [Try as I might, I genuinely have no idea of the meaning of that comment, and suspect there may, in fact, be none. SilentKey is clearly a play on SwiftKey™ and a deceased radio amateur, but to what effect I simply don’t know.]

        I’m unsure where “my mothers [sic] hairy cunt” might connect, but take no offence, and nor should you. It was a non-comment in a sea of dross.

        Bloody good weed though.

      • erratum
        I’m unsure where my “mothers [sic] hairy cunt” might connect, but take no offence, and nor should you.

        [the dreaded SilentKey again E&OE]

      • I see very well then, sorry for my mean drunken comments about your mothers cunt… I just get baffled by some of your comments they seem like half baked riddles I take my daily medicine too enjoy your pot

  13. Anyone who drinks lager is a cunt!

    And that includes me in Portugal where I see my way through copious amounts of ice crisp Super Boc (they do a lovely stout too).

    I have no idea what this Raddler stuff is but based on previous encounters with Fosters, you’d get pissed quicker on tap water!

    • Some people really hate lager I don’t really understand it , probably they are ale purists or they are germanphobic because lager was a german beer making method. Some cunts still haven’t got over ww2 I prefer ale too but lager is fine beer is beer imo

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