Drones

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Drones

So a coupla drones are sighted (no photos or phone images shown mind) aroinde Gatwick Airport and the airspace orf the world is fucked. 24hr News Coverage, snowflakes melting in front orf camera. Customary Local Lezza Police Commissioner (CLLPC) giving it the old clueless flat estuarine institution speak. Headless chickens cueing overnight at the airport, all flights cancelled, Cobra Committee summoned in Whitehall. Chorus orf “Oh dear what can the matter be”. Punters advised on freeebeees available – free hotels, transport, food, counseling due to this “major international incident”. Bugger me, snowflakes should have been in old London Toine when the doodlebugs were flying. Now they were proper drones – with menaces.
Laugh orf the moment is the “authorities” ie plod and MOD have no clue as to where they are coming from or how to stop the fuckers, just shut the airport without explanation for an unlimited period over Christmas (bugger wish I had thought orf that one). Volunteered me own two pennorth, I would troll doine there with me gillie and a brace of Purdey’s (finest English shotgun ever made) and blast the cunts oit the sky then blast the cunts that launched them or t’other way roinde as convenient. Waiting to hear back.
Have seen this moment in our history coming hence me previous cunting and support in a sporting way orf Amazon delivery drones. Yours Truly invites the sporting gentleman to join him (modest joining fee) in the Worshipful Company orf Drone Hunters (initiation ceremony to be soited oit) and blast the fuckers oit the sky. Those orf more plebeian habits ie uncouth cunts, are invited to join the Drone Guard. Drones don’t like it up ‘em.

As the Drone incident drones orn it is becoming increasingly apparent that The Powers That Be (TPTB) have no clue what to do. No counter strategy, no snowflake training in drone counter measures, in short beyond closing everything doine and giving the spotty dicked little cunt exactly what it wants, a humbling orf poor old Blighty in front orf the TV cameras orf the world, TPTB are impotent and powerless.
Pardon YT for bringing a little independent thinking to this but the drone is guided by wireless and can therefore be traced or jammed. Failing that, droneboi cannot make a move withoit sending a signal which will alert a scuad orf Drone Vigilantes stationed strategically aroinde the airport perimeter who can shoot the fucker doine. No need to ground every known aircraft for days. Typical snowflake pantomime for Christmas.

Nominated by Sir Limply

 

Gatwick Airport is a cunt.

Don’t get me wrong. Drones and other airborne things can be dangerous to aircraft.

However, some cunt playing silly buggers is enough to bring a whole fucking airport operation to its knees. Oh, and it’s the second busiest airport in the UK and yes, almost forgot, it’s the run up to Christmas.

We don’t want to shot the drones down as we are worried about stray bullets… wtf! It’s a fucking airfield with nothing around (apart from the M23 (and that deserves a cunting all on its own)).

Now apparently the military have been deployed. Are we really saying that the police can’t catch some spotty little nerd or unfuckable transbender cunt with a handheld RC controller. They can’t be operated miles away.

Drones are cunts to and anyone that has one that is not used for professional services such as film and media are cunts too.

Thank you, cunters

 

Nominated by Bear Cunt

54 thoughts on “Drones”

  1. If the best intelligence in the country cant find or control a cunt with a drone, is it any wander the brown skins can plan, and undertake how take out a concert or bus.

    Why cant they just jam the signal and let it fall or follow the cunt home? Or Is that too logical?

    Fill it up with cash, HMRC will find it in a heartbeat.

  2. I freelance for a firm that operate drones. It’s proper kit not hobbyist toys.
    I don’t do any flying, just operate the camera.
    One thing I do know about the drone is the thing has to land every 15-20 minutes for battery change….
    Police should be able to find the operator easily…
    Smells fishy…

    • …and there’s more….

      We were filming a recently finished commercial estate for the developers.

      The only take off point was a fair distance from the site. The drone was at several hundred feet with clear line of sight so no problem.

      Between us and the estate there was a small wooded area, a field, a line of trees, a smaller field, a canal and the corner of Sainsbury’s car park. Nobody could see us.

      We weren’t there 30 minutes before an oik from Sainsbury’s ‘security staff’ was in our face, wanting to know why our drone was hovering over their store….

  3. I am grateful for Drones, just so that it takes Brexit off the BBC’s *mind* such as it is. For the first time in days we have not had the news led with stories about the world ending because of Brexit or Dominic Grieve will squeem and squeem and squeem or Anthony Blair has threatend to fart if he doesn’t get his “people’s vote”. Brexit is there, but not so *important*

  4. Where is John mcClane when you need him. He would have sorted this Hans Gruber cunt and his drone out and everybody would be home for Christmas for their mince pies.

  5. This whole story in just droning on and fucking on!!
    From the cunt running Gatwick who announced on TV “ there are drones on my airfield “ to the tsunami of gormless snowflake turds recounting their dull as fuck drone delay stories, to
    sky showing pictures of armed police who were apparently going to down the drone??
    It’s quite possible the dullest story of the year…..
    I do however hope they find the perpetrators of this irritating stunt and waterboard the cunts over the Xmas period before that get a well deserved 5 years in prison where hopefully their rings gets battered on a daily basis…….

  6. I thought this was about the Father-in-Law cos that cunt drones on endlessly!

    —-

    Once again we make ourselves look like complete and utter twats to the rest of the world.

    The Russians and Chinese must be fucking pissing themselves!

    “Vee hef zeh technology to destroy you airports!”

    “Oh you fucking cunt Boris! I thought you couldn’t afford to pay for Skud Missiles anymore!?!”

    “Ooo sed anyzing about Skuds? Vee simplee vent to Maplin’s weez thirty quid!”

    —-

    Utter shambles!

  7. Here’s a few reasons why downing a drone isn’t quite so straightforward

    https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/12/20/gatwick_drone_non_shootdown_reasons/

    The problem of course is that this will encourage copycat shit on other airports, especially smaller airports that don’t have the same police resources as places like Gatewick and Heathrow etc.

    Gotta feel sorry for the airport and the airliners refusing to fly planes until this act of terrorism is done with. Those whinging passengers having to wait around for hours would soon think twice if their plane was hit by one of the fucking things, especially if it smashed into a jet engine.

    Better safe than sorry, but this is a new world problem

  8. Jamming the signal would probably involve jamming everything else using the frequency, assuming you can pick it out from the heavy RF traffic round an airport. It may be using the mobile network, and it would seem simple to ‘phone’ it up and land it…but it isn’t. First catch your hare. This is a well =known complication: a firm trialling their interception gadget at Southend Airport was surprised to find that while it worked fine in a field somewhere else, there were big problems at a physical airport.

    I prefer the weaponised solution. If low-flying, I would be happy to join Sir Limply, equipped with a 3″ magnum shotgun and BB or bigger shot. If higher then either chase it in a helicopter, or, from the ground, a .22 rifle would take care of it as it hovered. Neither would involve a major hazard to the public, and the successful marksman would find himself chaired to the bar by happy passengers, there to drink his fill.

    There may well be more than one drone, though, and operated by different, and/or moving, controllers.

    I must admit I take a certain pleasure in seeing a big, polluting, noisy monument to technology and conspicuous waste put out of action by a tiny flying machine using the same technology. I decline to cunt whoever’s doing this. It could too easily be me. But I’m with Sir L, and have checked the Holland and Hollands in anticipation.

    • Bloody hell. Although I usually post late on a thread, I seem to be getting top slot every time now. No objections, but is this intentional?

      • Check out the Latest News link top right of the page (Comments are now displayed with the newest at the top.)

      • I don’t like it, makes it fucking difficult to read individual comment threads. I’m having to scroll up and down like the cunt that I am. What was wrong with the previous way?

      • Comments under comments are exactly the same as before. It’s only the top level comments that are newest first.

        Did it because long lists of comments on a post were becoming unreadable. If there’s a consensus we can change it back but it does save a lot of scrolling down,.

      • The old way was much easier to follow if you wanted to read posts and replies in chronological order, which I did a lot.

      • Sorry Admin, but I don’t see how it stops a lot of scrolling. If I come to a new nom the next day, I read it, then need to scroll down through perhaps 50 posts before I get to the first one chronogically, then I have to start scrolling up and down to read the posts. If there are 5 in a thread I first have to scroll to the top of it, then scroll down to read them then scroll up again to get the next post, it’s a nightmare.

    • Great uncle Bert did a lot of wildfowling, used an 8 bore, ideal against a drone. Shame it was sold outside the family when he died. By all accounts it was a beast.

      • I humbly salute Uncle Bert. The recoil must have been awe-inspiring. I’m guessing it was a black-powder punt gun, capable of clearing large stretches of water from ducks etc with one shot. Your loss is conservation’s gain, however.

        Latest reports from Drone Crisis Central indicate that Plod is currently patrolling ‘ with shotguns’ in the hope of bagging a drone on its approach. Looks like sense prevailed after all. Pity drones are out of season.

  9. And insurance firms are no doubt loving this as another fucking built-in to make your usual £20 premium turn into £100!

    I mean travel insurance is travel insurance. It should be comprehensive on all counts but no, no we have a “Volcanic Activity” add on, “Tsunami” add on – if you’re off to South East Asia, etc.

    So as of next week there’ll no doubt be an extra “Cancellation due to Drone” bursary to add on next!

    Thieving insurance scammer scum!

  10. How soon before some binoculars wielding crisp munching wanker in a duffel coat declares that the drone is actually a UFO?
    Cue more Channel 5 documentaries with Nick Pope popping up for a pay cheque… 😆

  11. This oversized mosquito could be programmed in advance, meaning it has no RF signal to be jammed out. I think that’s likely.. if it had a signal the intelligence services or military could triangulate the fucker in no time surely.

    Doesn’t register on radar either.

    Why they don’t just ram it with another drone? Take it down, examine it, and use the data to track the culprit.

    Either that or laser it out of the air. They can laser missiles for christ sake, this is 2018 not 1930.

    • Agree with you on preprogramming, but not re. radar. 3cm airfield radar can pick up geese and even smaller birds several miles away. A carbon fibre drone with metal motors, battery etc should show up unless there’s a lot of signal processing going on.

      Think the same restrictions would apply to a big enough laser to do any damage as to firearms. Any specular reflection would blind anyone in the vicinity instantly – KW of power are needed and only a few mW can burn out your retina.

  12. Only in the UK. Those in charge fucking clueless. Again. Seems like we have completely inadequate leadership in every sector, chickens with heads cut off syndrome.

    Understand that airlines are under no financial obligation to offer any compensation to passengers as this type of “disturbance” is not covered under European Union compensation agreement. “Special circumstances” and the airport behind closed by the CIvil Aviation Authority means the unfortunate passéngers will get precisely fuck all (apart from some telephone call costs, perhaps hot drinks and some vouchers TOWARDS some overnight hotel stay. You can rest assured the airlines will not be unduly generous in this respect.

    Not sure about insurance companies either, one passenger interviewed said she spoke to her insurance company and was not optimistic of recovering any of her costs.

    Seems very strange to me if this is the case, surely passengers must be compensated for their loss as the proximate cause is due to a third party (or parties), and not negligence on behalf of the passenger.

    Wonder whether the taxpayer will be lumbered with the final bill? When authorities fuck up we usually are.

  13. It must be an example to all of us as to how Brexit will fail our Europe-wide intelligence and lay us open to a proliferate drone invasion.

    Under a sovereign government, terrorist drones will be equipped with anal probing equipment to enable unsuspecting members of the public to be kidnapped by these drones and subject to agonising, prolonged probing of the rectal parts.

    I am surprised no-politicunt has jumped on the bandwagon yet.

  14. Ipswich, Thursday 30th December.

    Front page headline Ipswich Star- Anti-Brexit ”Bollocks to Brexit” bus draws crowds with provocative message.

    Definition of crowds in this instance equates to about 30 people. Not the first time the Star has significantly tried to talk up numbers for their own agenda.

    In Ipswich we voted overwhelmingly to Leave the EU. Nothing’s changed.

  15. The usual blablabla, we knew this could happen , thats why we are legislating to ensure drones are licenced……
    Yes fucking brilliant, too fucking late you cunts…..
    Same with 9/11
    Same with social fucking media
    If there is a tool or loophole that can be used to fuck things up someone will eventually use it.
    Still never mind no one was hurt…..
    If the cunt or cunts are caught I hope they get a fucking long spell in the slammer, same goes for the stansted 15 cunts
    Eco activists
    Human rights activists
    Peacefuls
    All CUNTS

  16. Old Obama used to love drones. Love ’em, he did. He dropped 100 000 bombs in eight years. That’s one every twenty minutes! Bomb crazy, he was. Apparently he had a favourite which he called Droney.

    Here’s a quick Christmas quiz:

    Can you name the five countries that O’bomber bombed?

  17. I always used to think that airports employed security, for obvious reasons. And how many years is it since drones were invented? So what the fuck have they been doing all this time, having a kip? What’s happening at Gatwick is ludicrous, but it’s typical of lots of other things happening in this country. No fuckers want to do their jobs properly any more, starting with politicians. What a fuck-up. Can anyone suggest a well-run country to emigrate to? I’m serious.

  18. Kathy Griffin (WHO?) has criticised the lack of women on Forbes magazine’s latest list of the world’s best-paid comedians.

    The Emmy Award-winning comedian tweeted the top 10 of Forbes’ list along with the words: “No Women.”

    Jerry Seinfeld topped the rankings with estimated earnings of $57.5m (£45.3m). Ricky Gervais came in 5th with just under $20m.

    The reason for that Kathy is that women comedians are unfunny and do not have a sense of humour.

    • From listening to a few of the top earners like Flanagan they started at the bottom and did years hawking their material around open mic nights and pubs and clubs. The didnt get to the top because they are men they did it because they are funny. It’s simple girls, go and do the same, write some funny material, build up a following then write some new material and if it’s good enough your following will increase and so on and so. There are no sex or race or any barriers to this only hard work, determination and talent. If you have all three find your local open mic night and give it a go. You to may then break into that male dominated Forbes list, nothing is stopping you.

      • Flanagan did the clubs for 13 years before his career took off (excuse the pun as posted on the Drones nom).

        Watched him on TV in his highly original one man show only last night. Excellent.

  19. With the Gatwick drone incident passing 36 hours , police have begun working on the theory it’s simply a woman trying to land the fucking thing.

  20. The powers that be seem to think it may be some anti climate change activists, who are a massive bunch of cunts. They are currently protesting outside the bbc in London, to make climate change the number one issue. Fuck me, do they not watch the beeb? They are fully on board with the issue, so if that ain’t enough, how rabid about it are they? I saved like fuck for five years for my holiday of a lifetime, and thank fuck none of these fucking bellends were blocking the road to the airport (which they did less than a month after I went), because I would have driven over the probably vegan cunts. Way to go, you fucking muppets, nothing gets you more public support than fucking their expensive travel arrangements up, and wrecking their holidays and family gatherings. Most people will probably laugh at the thought of them burning to death, and forget all about their cause. Cunts.

  21. Droney McDroneface has reappeared! Gatwick closed again.
    Be honest, cunters, they’re clever cunts.

    Possibly second-runway protesters. In which case not at all unsympathetic. The countryside’s been sufficiently trashed already.

  22. I’d like to offer an emergency cunting for Virginia Concalves, who’s apparently from Cornwall but sounds suspiciously Spanish or probably Portuguese.

    Just seen her being interviewed on Al-Beeb at 6 and who’s spent the night propped up in a chair at Gatwick Airport.

    This is what it said…..

    ‘it’s horrible it goes against against your human rights isn’t it, I have stage 4 Cancer that’s spread to the bones, for gods sake’.

    Tell you what Virginia you fucking cunt, it’s 30 years today that Pan Am flight 103 was blown out of the sky killing hundreds of people. What a shame the authorities now take airport security so seriously.

    I fucking despise you and I’m looking forward to stage 5 kicking in.

    Fuck off

  23. definately more to this ‘drone ‘ incident than they’re letting on. that’s if it is even anything to do with drones. something is going on and i say that as someone who thinks conspiracy theorists are fuckin bonkers.

  24. Why not ask Bad Vlad to send over some of his boys? They seem to be either blasting or taking control of the drones which keep attacking Latakia with a high degree of success.
    If we haven’t got the technology, I am sure he would sell it!! And if we haven’t got it, someone is negligent.
    I’m pretty certain if someone tried this in Moscow, they would find the FSB sending them to an early grave on double quick time, with their relatives sent to the Gulag.
    Our politicians are total Cunts.

    • yet another fiasco that could have been prevented, The technology has been around for years.
      as soon as man invented fire someone worked out how to piss on it and stop it ditto drones.
      a brief example here.

      https://www.unmannedsystemstechnology.com/2018/12/new-drone-security-solution-launched/

      The problem seems to come about with committees and common sense, first irrational comment was falling bullets, realistly their best bet at the time was call up the local clay pigeon shoot and give them cart blanc on the runway, buckshot is not a problem when shot in the air.
      Likewise the reluctance to “militarise” air ports, many a time I have flown into Greek airports to see surface to air missiles around the runway, never bothered me.
      Again its the overly sensitive dick heads voicing their opinions, a drone strike on a passenger plane could result in the loss of over 300 people not to mention the crash site, I think I would rather look at protective systems than be taken out by a piece of crap from toys r us.

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