Wannabe Ed Sheerans

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Wannabe Ed Sheerans are cunts…

Now, we all know the original tuneless and charmless Ginger Gremlin cunt is diabolical, but the hordes of tossers who try to emulate this cunt are also cunts themselves… I refer to the young lads who now infest Manchester, Bury, Prestwich, and loads of other town centres… You can spot the cunts a mile off… Young straight out of school spotty twats, with the same crappy chip pan haircut as the ginger cunt and the same scruffy cunt appearance… These pricks also thrash at an acoustic guitar (no chords or anything) and they churn out Sheeran shite like ‘Perfect’ and the excrement that is ‘Galway Girl’….

I approached one of these specimens the other day and asked ‘Do you play anything else?’ The buffoon looked puzzled… ‘Simon and Garfunkel?’ I added… ‘The Beatles?’ ‘Dylan?’ ‘ More blank responese… And when I said ‘Donovan?’ The pimple ravaged imbecile said ‘Jason Donovan?’ I promptly called him a cunt and fucked off… For fuck’s sake…

Nominated by Norman

40 thoughts on “Wannabe Ed Sheerans”

  2. Are they meant to stink like polecats too for the extra authenticity?

    The one in Lutonistan high street is absolutely lifting and that’s amongst all of the authentic “peaceful” piri piri chicken and pizza places!

    His B.O. would gag a maggot!

  3. I’m surprised he’d heard of Jason Donovan let alone THE Donovan.
    Simon and Garfunkel? Dylan? Fucking hell, you are demanding cunts in Manchester and no mistake.

  4. Every evening my Polish neighbour stands in his garden and sings “I Wanna Know What Love Is”….as loud as he can.

    Bloody Foreigner….

  5. Off topic …..
    Spineless Warrington Council have said that fly tipping by foreign cunts living here is a result of ” cultural misunderstanding “. Apparently they’re leaving their unwanted shite in the street as an act of ” generosity ” to give folk more unfortunate than themselves the opportunity to make it their own.
    FUCK OFF you cowardly bastards , or do your fucking job and prosecute these dirty, shithole living cunts.
    For fucks sake.
    Good evening.

    • I wonder how unfortunate you’d have to be to search through a pile of discarded bloodied nappies left after Honeymoon night at a Peaceful house?

      Good Evening, Jack.

      • Corking retort there Dick,
        Grand to see the Witchfinder General. Haven’t seen you posting in a while – hope all is well in the Fiddler world 😉

      • Hello Dick. It’s another world, unfortunately it’s on our doorstep.
        Any jollities planned for this evening Dick ?

      • Going for a walk with the dog . Wife is out with the local coven, so all is calm. I’ll do some paperwork and prepare for tomorrow’s local show, then it’s up the dancers for some kip.

    • Unlikely . What they meant to say was that yes it is a cultural misunderstanding but that the misunderstanding was on our part . We misunderstood in Britain that when offering these cunts a place to live that they didn’t want to live like the fucking savages we all know that they are.

      That said I knew full well that they’d continue to bring areas down to their level rather than go.somewhere n9ce and have aspiration to bring themselves up.

      Newham is a good example . It truly is third world like in appearance now

      • I used to live in Newham.

        It was a shithole 25 years ago, dread to think what its like now.

        Found out our neighbours daughter went to the local school and was the ONLY white child in the class. Came home with words to learn in a tin. Fucking Urdu.

        Around the same time nearly 4 acres of British Rail land was purchased for residential development. Barratt Homes. First application (where they try it on with many, many 3 storey houses crammed in) was declined. Labour cunt at the time Stephen Timms got involved on behalf of the local residents. Fucking useless he was.

        Clearly others also thought so, as he was attacked by 21-year-old Peaceful female Islamist extremist Roshonara Choudhry in 2010, who stabbed him twice in the abdomen with a 6-inch kitchen knife.

        Interestingly, as part of the final deal Barratt Homes had to build a residential sheltered housing block, specifically FOR ELDERLY ASIAN PEOPLE ONLY. When asked why this was the case, we were told that this would very much simplify the catering arrangements. What about a block for ELDERLY WHITE PEOPLE ONLY we asked? No answer was the reply.

        Decided to fuck off to Suffolk very soon after that, even if it did mean nearly 4 hours a day travelling into London and home again each day.

        Strange to think that people pay the same amount to live in a really shitty rat infested part of London in a small three bedroomed terraced house, whereas for the same money (or perhaps slightly more) you can live in a large 5 bedroomed semi in a nice part of a town in Suffolk (which admittedly is gradually turning into a shithole due to our Eastern European friends, but still better than East London)

        Know where I’d rather live.

      • Newham is the worst area I’ve had the misfortune to visit in the whole of the UK.

        If you alight at Stratford and walk for less than five minutes (away from the Yank shopping centre), it becomes quite frightening. Utter squalor, appalling gimmigrancy on every street, and crime everywhere. Truly no native British people and truly a lost, dire shithole. To call it Third World is an insult to Mogadishu and Bangladesh.

        I had to travel down on the DLR that ends at Beckton. You couldn’t pay me to go again. It was like the United Nations of dealers. I bet the Gypos are too petrified to go there.

        Horrible, scummy, flea-infested hole.

      • You describe Stratford perfectly. I used to drink in the area in my younger days and it wasn’t perfect but there were a few decent pubs. The locals could be a bit rough at times but at least they were English.

        Walked through the area a couple of years ago and couldn’t believe it. I got the feeling that every English person had fucked off and had been replaced by Lithuanian scum.

        House prices there are ridiculous, no one in their right mind would buy in Stratford.

  6. Advertised on the radio today Paul McCartney has released a new album.

    In my humble opinion don’t think he has written or performed anything worth listening to in the last 50 years.

    The clips from the latest album did nothing to change my mind.

    Perhaps someone should tell him that since the break up of the Beatles his music has been shit?

    • Paul McCartney is shit and so is his music Willie The sooner this tight fisted cunt curls up and dies the better he is a proper twat

  8. You can get some very good buskers in Trafalgar Square with amplifiers and all that shit. I presume you have to have a licence and meet certain standards because they are usually clean, older blokes who are obviously proper musicians.
    I once saw a 3-piece there with a proper drum kit and producing a very good sound. Unfortunately their repertoire seemed to consist of the back catalogue of Dire fucking Straits but I don’t turn my nose up at free live music.
    Of course I would have loved to point out the irony of them playing “Money for Nothing” when I had no intention of giving them a fucking penny but i’m not that much of a cunt. No, really, i’m not.

    • Nothing wrong with Dire Straits’s pre-Brothers In Arms repertoire, Freddie. Unfortunately, the well-named ‘Money For Nothing’ and vomit-inducing ‘Walk of Life’ sold by the truckload and became part of the 80s zeitgeist (whatever the fuck that was).

      Best ignore anything Dire Straits did after 1982 (with perhaps one or two exceptions) and stick to the atmospheric delights of ‘Wild West End’, ‘Single Handed Sailor’, ‘Skateaway’ and so on.

      • The Alchemy Live film and album is ace…. Saw them on the Alchemy tour and it was one of the best gigs I ever saw….

  9. That modern music is generally worse has actually been scientifically proven as well. I’m not joking.

  10. Some things never change Norman. I remember back in the 60s every busker in Brum centre thought he was Bob fucking Dylan if he knew three chords, could blow tunelessly into a mouthie, and could sing with a bit of a whine. A decade later, and there was a whole new generation of cunts who knew three chords, blew tunelessly into a mouthie and sang with a bit of a whine, only this time they all thought they were Neil Young. Daft cunts.
    Dylan and Young are fucking legends, mind. Sheeran’s just wank.

    • I avoid town for that very reason. Still, its not as bad as the usual bongo bongo crap going on by the HSBC ramp. Place is a fucking sewer.

  11. What these docile cunts fail to realise as they eschew soap and rudimentary grooming, whilst sofa surfing the east end is that Sheeran is a posh fucker, which isn’t in itself a crime… but he could afford to look like he couldn’t afford a loaf a bread. For him, eating Aldi beans for 365 days was a quirky novelty, not a necessity. if the music went tits up he could just skip back to daddies mansion, at which point a family connection would have just gotten him a job in the stock market or some such. He had options, unlike most of these wannabe wankers whose choices can be succinctly put as “shit and/or bust”. And it will most likely be bust, upon which point you’ll become just another mouth to feed from my taxes. Just do us all a favour and if you haven’t hit the big time by 25, kill yourselves.

    • A year of beans ??!

      JC, I’d be farting acetylene… and doing brown artex all over the ceiling.

  12. Im not into violence but Sheeran genuinely and probably has got one of them faces you just want to hack to pieces with a claw hammer,I fucking loathe the nerdy cunt with acoustic guitar sound with a passion,if Sid Vicious was alive today hed punch that ginger cunts lights out

  14. Love the opening lines:

    “We’ve partnered with some of our advertisers……”

    I’m not sure if “partnered” is a real word or just another made up snowflake word like “Islamophobia” or “homophobia “.
    As a registered cuntophobic I know that advertisers are only interested in brainwashing us with any old shit to part us from our money. So I don’t give a fuck about what your advertising partners say ok Channel 4?
    If you don’t like what you read on-line then don’t go on there you pathetic little girls.
    Why do I get the feeling that we are being softened up for tinternet censorship?

  15. Yet another fucking darkie jailed for Grenfel fraud, £86,000. Gizmo Treeswinger ( or whatever his fucking name is ) got six years, he’ll be out in three. Just how many people have they given cash to ?

    • Apparently anyone “involved” in the Grenfell fire who is rehoused is also exempt from paying rent and council tax until at least July 2019…..as if any of the Cunts paid it in the first place !
      Must say, when it comes to cheating and fiddling,da coomunitee really knows how to pull together. Self-Pity City itself (Liverpool) is going to have to up its game if it hopes to keep the title of Biggest Bunch of Cheating,Whining Spongers in the face of such determined rivals.

      Fuck them.

      • The broomstick has landed, so I’m off to fucking bed before my head explodes.
        Aye, fuck them.

  16. Indeed Mr Fiddler. Can Liverpool challenge the dominance of apologists for p*nces such as The Flabbot, Grenfell Clammy, Dawn Lardbutt and Suckdick “it’s all part of living in a big city” Khan?
    I don’t fucking think so.

  18. Indeed, the latest criminal fuckwit trying to p*nce off the bottomless pit of Grenfell money is Portuguese.
    Considering we have been going down the pan for the last 2 years and , according to the rich cunts, we are going to be a 3rd world country, I wonder why Portuguese and other EU cunts haven’t fucked off already?
    Maybe they know something the politicians and their rich cunt friends don’t know?
    I have no idea what it might be.

  19. Another favourite of these talentless and tuneless spotty turds is ‘I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing’ by Aerosmith… Now, nothing wrong with a bit of Aerosmith, but not that commercial syrupy Hollywood movie shite… I remember this video being on the telly… My dad kept complaining about how he didn’t like the music, but he couldn’t take his eyes off those dancing dummies… Great stuff…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3Yrhv33Zb8

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