The Daily Express are cunts…
I know that papers now resort to barrel scraping tactics in order to get noticed and clickbait… But the Daily Express actually using a ‘Google maps show aliens’ headline (online) is taking the piss…
Featuring ‘pictures’ of an ‘alien’ sunbathing in a deckchair?! I know The Express isn’t great, but since when did it become the Sunday Sport?! Does the cunt who wrote that ‘alien’ bollocks actually get paid for doing it?! Cunts….
Nominated by Norman
That’s Timmy Fucking Farron😂
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I thought it might be Rupert the Bear in a grey leather gimp mask.
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I really don’t understand what market it’s aimed at. With headlines saying White Christmas Predicted in fucking March, or Property Prices Set To Fall 35%, it can only be aimed at sub 80s IQ. Maybe I answered my own question, it’s aimed at thick cunts.
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The Express ALWAYS says it’s going to be the worst winter in living memory and that we will be completely snowed under. And you know what ? It never happens. I only like the paper because it’s pro Brexit.
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Surprised they didn’t say it was the ghost of princess Died. She figures in 50% of their coverage.
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This rag is the cunt that has barred me from comments. They are neither interested in free speech nor the truth. Alright, so my comments were forthright and direct, but they were factual. I was particularly unimpressed with a visit from plod regarding an intended but not published post regarding the vagina of one Diane Abbott. The editorial team are a bunch of fuckwits, and in spite of claiming to be slightly “right” they are in fact full of left wing twats on the “moderation panel ” ( in charge of them little red arrows )
The proof, I made a similar comment regarding the cunt of Theresa May smelling of cock recently dipped in shit, and fuck all was said about that.
Anyway. Im barred. Nice to see the cunts appearing here….give me time…!
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AAAAAGGHHH! EXPRESS…I thought MAIL….Sorry…. well they are both cunts.
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“intended but not published post regarding the vagina of one Diane Abbot”. “the cunt of Theresa May smelling of cock recently dipped in shit”. You nearly gave me a hernia from laughing you cunt.
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Wow. 235 people killed in bomb attack in Egypt.
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A peaceful attack, no less.
I wonder how long our establishment will continue with this ‘religion of peace’ nonsense.
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I guess it all depends on your definition of “peace”.
If you take “peace” to mean “murderous, child-abusing cunts”, then of course Islam is the religion of peace.
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They weren’t expecting that, come to think of it neither were we? Sandwogs can’t agree with their own so what chance does any cunt else have FFS!
Funny how the hundreds got killed in an earthquake the other week and only a mention ABBC. These peaceful cunts massacre each other and its headline news!
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I read this in a report of the Egyptian mosque bombing “The mosque is known to be frequented by Sufis, who adhere to a mystical variant of Islam.”
This was on Bloomberg. Com
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I’d have assumed that all religions are “mystical”.
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Huge cunt just been on LBC pushing the ‘Islam is a religion of peace’ line, saying Muslims could not possibly have carried out bomb attack in Egypt, cos it would be against peaceful religion of Islam, blah blah blah.
And that cunt Iain Dale answered “I couldn’t agree with you more…”
What a steaming bunch of CUNTS!
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And yes, the huge cunt speaking just happened to be a peaceful…
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I heard it too. What a load of crap. Religion of peace? Me no think so!
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Year Mate Iain Dale and the rest of m on LBC will bend the knee, grovel and prostrate themselves to the peacefulls at the drop of a hat coz their all too afraid of living with a death threat hanging over their heads courtesy of those lovely religion of peace people with their mind virus of a so called religion.
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Apart from Nigel, I hope…
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The LBC cunts have been conned by Majid Nowaz / Mad Jihad Noways. He comes out after every peaceful religion worshiper attack with the good muslim / bad Muslim….oh forgot the bad ones aren’t Muslims are they?
All remoaners apart from Nigel so far as I can tell. Oh and Andrew Pierce I think
The poof that does nights is a really annoying cunt, always cross gender, homo issues and nothing but a trouble making little faggot who should be taught about dignity and self respect. Bet he was the school punchbag
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Was it shite against Sunnie ? The peacefuls are always looking for someone to kill . If it’s not us it’s the Jews and if it’s not the Jews then they kill each other. What a total shower of violent Cunts .
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Israel will have offered immediate specialst medical aid as well as search and rescue teams. Press never report it.
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So what ones come to Britain, the shites or the sunnies?
I’m betting were getting both of the cunts and once there’s enough, they will start their squabbling shit here. Why?
Stay where you are and work it out there, don’t bring your historical violence towards each other here. Great Britain has its own problems.
On the other hand, if a shite moves in next door to me and we have a dispute over a fence or something, then I could just murder the cunt and claim that I’m a sunnie and sunnie law allows me to do this.
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Anyone have it on spot the jihadi thread?
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Take a look yourself. Already answered on there…
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The Express is owned by Richard “Asian Babes” Desmond – what the fuck do you expect?
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You can use the slightly harsher texture of the Mail to remove the clagnuts and shankers. Then the final polish and buff of the starfish can be achieved by folding the Express and rubbing it firmly on the cleft, vigorously back and forth.
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Save money by not buying the Daily Express and finding proof of extraterrrestrial life amongst all those laughable youtube videos instead.
(Another Viz style top tip, probably no less amusing than Viz has managed to be recently. The snowflake appeasing, PC embracing, establishment pandering, EU fawning cunts).
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Oops! Forgot to include “Guardian arse licking”
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Yeah Viz has definitely gone the way of Private Eye and turned snowflake remoaner. They ain’t getting my dough anymore either the cunts.
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Not missed a Viz since about 1987 but after last months issue they can fucking keep it. Trump, brexit, a strip where Nigel Farage gets beaten up and someone gets an England flag stuffed up their arse. May as well buy The New European and laugh at that instead…
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I last read Viz in the 90’s when they published thieving Gypsy bastards. Flicked through it recently and yes total Snowflake. The only thing that made me laugh was the Drunken Bakers.
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And they folded quicker than a bad poker hand when said Pikey’s threatened legal action and demanded an apology.
At least back then in proper Viz fashion the printed an apology but as a “cut out and keep sincere apology”.
I’m assuming that this is because the Donald brothers have fuck all to do with it anymore? Proper Byker lads them like.
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“Legal” action by pikeys ??!
The idea of pikey and “legal” seems about as good as BBC and truth.
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Don’t you need an address and provide all your bank details etc in accordance with some money laundering malarkey when taking legal action?
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Viz doesn’t seem to have a problem with ripping the piss out of white and English working class (The Bacons. Eight Ace, Fat Slags etc). and those people can (and do) exist)…. But will they ever do a black character? Or a Parking Stanley? Or an Eastern European one? Will they bollocks… Last issue I read it had a ‘compare the high street: 1977 and 2017’ thing in it… And the 2017 one had no Um Bongo Africunts, no Parky Stanlees or peacefuls, no terrorists, and no talking very loudly think they own the place ignorant Iron Curtain cunts… Which is complete crap, because almost every high street is full of cunts like those…
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I remember 20-odd years ago they had Cockney character – can’t remember his name – but the opening cartoon of one episode was him reading the “Currant Bun” with a headline of “Lottery Winner is a Sooty!”
Dunno if they got done for that one but it did show that they weren’t afraid of piss taking equally I also remember an Osama Bin Laden parody that took the piss out of “peacefuls”.
Positive discrimination at its finest. You watch any film/TV series from Sci-Fi to period drama and the positive prominent roles taken up by characters who probably never even existed in those locals, and certainly not in those numbers.
In fact the only TV shows that are bereft of multiculturalism are shows involving prisons and when they are there they’re either prison officers or wardens. Which is totally reflective of real life…
I listen to 3 Counties Radio and whenever there’s a story/report in Luton you only ever hear white or Caribbean accents, never the abrupt twang of a shifty peaceful, Polack or Africunt.
You’ll only hear those in the studio with cut glass accent and are always solicitors, barristers or members of the police force.
Let me tell you now, I can walk from the digs into the town and back again and the only English accent I’ll hear is from the deuce of beggars that park their arses under every fucking cashpoint in the area!
They should call it 3 Countries Radio: Pakistan, Poland and Nigeria.
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VIZ was fucking brilliant for the first 20 years or so (1979-2000), virtually the only thing worth reading, stuff they came out with was unbelievably cutting and funny – they’d be skinned alive today, un-PC doesn’t begin to describe that shit!
Don’t know if any of the old annuals are still in print but they’re well worth picking up if you can find them. Takes a lot to make me lol these days, the early VIZ stuff seldom fails to deliver. They said it all.
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I’ve got a load of annuals onwards from “the big bell end” some of which I haven’t read. I like peace n quiet to read it, without explaining every one of my outbursts of laughter.
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ISAC is the new VIZ…
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The character you are searching for is Cockney Wanker, or Wockney Canker as it appears on the front cover.
Viz, funny as hell in it’s day.
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He’s a kinda Mike Reid lookalike iirc.
Haven’t seen a recent viz but I wonder if Biffa bacon still gets slapped from his mum and dad or are they dressing him as a girl and calling him Biffette?
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Some dozy tart has whined a bout some shop displaying a fake reindeer head and forced them to take it down. Apparently her brat was upset and asked if Santa had killed it. Get a fucking life you stupid scrubber, get a hobby or something and stop filling the little cunt’s head full of shit about some imaginary cunt flying around in the sky. We have enough of that.bollocks as it is.
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Back in the early ’70s my brother told me he’d seen a flying teapot in the sky once. Thought no more about it till now, cos he took an awful lot of acid in those days. Feel a bit guilty now, should have taken him more seriously.
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It was Russell’s Teapot mate.
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Maybe it was just a halal butcher
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The next generation of Snowflakes are going to be such a bunch of sissies cry babies and feminised males , I really do despair. I met some Russians a while ago , these blokes were ok as far as Russians go. They were pissing them selves about British pussy cry baby males. I was very embarrassed to say the least.
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The Slavic nations seem to be the best hope for resisting the Peaceful takeover. This is because they have not succumbed to the feminisation that seems to have overtaken the Western nations.
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Early reports of suspected gunshots fired in Oxford street?
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Cunt that did it has now been located and given a home and benefits
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Terrorists don’t have to do fuck all these days, just go out in the street with a loud wog-box and play a quick blast of gunfire, then walk off calmly while the snowflakes run around like headless chickens and the keystone cops do the rest.
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False alarm by the looks of it, just got out the candles and balloons as well.
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New identity, Odeon & Nandos vouchers and free first class air travel for any family visiting from abroad, citizenship and a key to the cunting city!
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Maybe it was a unicorn farting…
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One of my morning rituals while drinking my first cup of coffee is to scan the news websites, including pictures of the front pages of the national dailies.
I’m pretty sure it’s the Daily Express (could be the Mail – someone might be able to correct me here) who run a front page headline saying something like ‘Pensions Decimated For Millions’. The next week, it’ll be something like, ‘Pensions Boost For Millions’. A couple of weeks later it’ll be, ‘Pension Chaos After Funds Crash’. The following week, ‘Pensions Secure As Pound Soars’. So which is it? Pensions for everyone are in the toilet or everyone’s pensions are doing OK?
Unless you’re a half brained fuckwit, you’d know that quite a lot of pension funds are invested in the stock market. You’d also know the value of stocks and shares change on a daily basis. This is no secret. So with massive amounts of money invested in these financial instruments, an up tick of a fraction of a percent could mean an increase in value of millions of pounds. Equally, a tiny down turn could mean a decrease in value of millions of pounds. This isn’t news and it certainly isn’t headline news. Whoever keeps writing this sensationalist bollocks needs to get a grip on reality and then fuck off to some desert island. Preferably anthrax island. Cunts.
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That’s funny but you are so right. Maybe the headline writer is actually a comedian. And when I say comedian I don’t mean Michael Mcyntyre.
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Well all the decent comedians forced out by ABBC Live at the Apollo apprentices have to be out there somewhere.
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Off topic and laying myself wide open. Who Built The Moon is fucking brilliant….I’m a cunt…I’m a cunt…
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I’d rather listen to the scissor sisters .
The little cunt broke up MY band and firvthst he will never be forgiven and his solo stuff will be ignored completely.
I’ve heard that one about a gun and that’s it.
Liam,Liam,Liam,Liam……
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You need a sermon from the Reverend Horton Heat my lad, get yourself over to you tube, watch ‘ Let me teach you how to eat ‘ by the aforementioned man of the cloth and renounce your cuntish ways.
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“Zimbabwe is open to foreign investment” announces new President. Great, I will have to cash in my garage full of 100 Trillion Zimbabwean Dollar bills and invest in rubber bullets, tear gas and riot shields for when he starts out on the road to democracy.
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I’m way ahead of the game. I’ve already sent my life savings out there. I, luckily,received an e-mail from The Minister for Diamonds,Gold,Ivory and fucking Magic Beans, A fine gentleman by the name of Justice Umbogo Limpopo . He explained to me,in kitchen kaffir,just how my investment would be returned within the week 10 fold. Well of course Fiddler’s no fool. I immediately sent him my savings and bank details so that he can pay my profits straight in.
Of course,if it is a con I’ll go the papers with my sad story of an innocent being ripped off by a Coon conman. The banks and government can fucking well compensate me for my losses.
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Poetry, Mr Fiddler.
I am on the train and laughing like a lunatic. Magic beans!
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That cunt fined for the dog off the leash will beat you to it.
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I heard some Rhodesian cunt yesterday sayin’ its time for the international community to step up.
How that never got derisory laughs from the news reader i don’t know.
Yes i do…….
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Heard the EU wanting more money from its member States for foreign aid for the cunts, to backfill void by GB leaving.
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Step up with what?
No more fucking money to these animals and that includes the shit to protect the animals from the poachers selling the tusks n horns.
We should have the animals tagged and pay annually for ones still alive as I’m sure the gamekeepers will be the poaching cunts and were paying them.
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he has stated that farms they stole from white settlers will not be handed back. they’ll just carry on being deserts then i suppose?
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Whiteys will be ordered to work on the farms for the coons
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Robinho now, eh?… Can’t be far off being able to name a Man city sex case XI….
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If i want to face trial for a heinous crime it would be in an Italian court.
‘Guilty!!!! Off you go now’
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Hey Norm – do you remember a long fair haired lump who played for Chelski in the early ’80s called Clive Walker? Didn’t he get into some bother concerning indecent exposure/flashing – allegedly? Or did I imagine that? That’s the first time I can remember a footballer being found out and exposed (pardon the pun). My team (Spurs) has form here too in the shape of ex-manager David Pleat. His thing was curb crawling – allegedly. The joke at the time was he had a company car that only had first gear. Ha!
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An interesting one if anyone cares to look.
http://www.westmonster.com/alastair-campbell-reportedly-told-brexit-backer-she-has-another-country-to-go-to/
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Fucking typical of that Cunt.
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I’ve always been convinced that Campbell is mentally ill as he claims. He certainly has a short fuse when it comes to brexit as do most remoaners. It’s not so much that they love the cunting EU but they bitterly resent the fact that common scum like us got our way for once. If Sir Nigel had said this to a foreign born remoaner it would have been all over the media like a bad shirt but this is the first time I have heard about it. But of course Sir Nigel is a racist Nazi cunt as we all know. Anyway i’m sure this Kraut woman knows more about what’s going on in Europe than Blair’s rejected bitch sadly abandoned in Battersea Dogs Home. Total cunt.
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Agree Freddie
Have thought for a while that Campbell is struggling mentally.
In the past I have found him totally engaging, fascinating to watch and compulsive viewing despite not agreeing with anything he says or stands for. A total cunt nevertheless.
Nowadays he adds very little to debates having clearly lost his edge, and just comes across as the rude and aggressive bad loser that he is.
He is absolutely no match for Sir Nigel
Perhaps Campbell is depressed and is in need of some alcoholic beverages?
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I’d serve him up a knuckle sandwich washed down by a pint of Draino.
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I believe he used to knock back a few choice aftershaves with that Charlie whatsisname from the limpdumps ??
The two of them must have had a jolly wee time together. Surprised they didn’t do a 3-some with The Cycloptically-challenged Broon.
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Desmond is a porn publisher cunt who makes a living cheating the mug punter. His glamour mags deliver a scam version orf what the glistening open crotch cover shot promises. Likewise the Express runs a con under the title – a large red blot screams “Now 10p” hoping the punter will not spot the tiny type underneath “cheaper than the Daily Mail” ect ect.
Desmond is orn to something with the Google fake news though. Would be bloody useful to have a “Spot the cunt” mode on Google Earth and a Dead Pool flythrough on Street View.
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Opportune entry to post a tabloidy story (even if heavily embellished) from The Mail…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-5114367/Lily-Allen-accuses-James-Corden-coming-TV.html
Two monumental cunts are colliding. Lily Allen is ‘Alledging’ that none other than James Corden – my reason for discovering ISAC in the first place – was hitting on her and making her feel ‘uncomfortable’ way back in 2008, during an episode of her pock-marked shitfest of a short-lived show, Lily Allen and Friends (I still shudder at the memory of the mere fucking concept of an Allen TV show; lest the content of them).
Despite her clearly being heard to say “just fuck me then”, during the ‘flirty’ exchange, der shitkunt gruppenfuhrer Allen, seeing the publicity window of #MeToo opportunity and hurling herself through it bodily, is now – nearly a decade on – adding this to the burgeoning celebrity sex case tab because she claims retrospective ‘discomfort’ at the exchange. This is despite her driving it during the interview.
No Lily. Discomfort is re-watching your fuckhead of a father prancing about on the ‘Vindaloo’ music video, then catching a glimpse of a teenage you and being filled with wistful regret that some time-travelling anti-cunt vigilante didn’t take the opportunity to gun you both down during the video shoot – sparing humankind your shit music, your unfiltered verbal diahorrea and most importantly, saving us from the years of high-grade cuntitude so reliably delivered via your mongoloid vocal orifice.
I am no supporter of cunt Corden I can assure you – notwithstanding a lifetime of his intersellar cuntishness, his current ‘Parking Master’ ads alone warrant a fatal Oxygen rationing – but on this clash of the cunt-titans, I cannot abide Allen’s continued desperation for any attention.
And for the love of God, the practically infinite cunt generated from a union of Corden and Allen could drive a man to complete insanity if contemplated in any detail… don’t do it, fellows.
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Hard to back up the lily Allen but against the Corden, easy.
The Allen is a monumental cunt but even if the Corden fucked off and was never heard of again I’d still take the lily over that cunt.
And she has a pretty pussy complete with landing strip.
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Allen has a fanny that looks like a standard black poodle with its guts slit open.
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No she doesn’t.
Googling ‘Lily Allen up skirt’ will show that its actually pretty nice.
After years of porn abuse, I’m pretty numb to plain old pussy but when that pic appeared on here it pricked my prick up.
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Wtf? Just another fat sow, imo…
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It’s just getting ridiculous now and diminishes real cases of abuse and harassment…
“It was awful M’lud, the way his hand brushed past mine, it was definitely intended to be sensual. I couldn’t speak at the time.”
“Hmmm, I understand you’re plight but this was over 20yrs ago.”
“I’ve thought about nothing else in the years since. It’s a constant reminder and has affected my relationship with men ever since.”
“And what were the circumstances leading up to the incident?”
“Well, as our prams passed one another his hand – the one without the rattle – brushed across mine and since then I’ve never been attractive to men.”
“I see. And of course being 30 stone has nothing to do with that I suppose?”
Fuck’s sake! Lily Allen is only 32? Still, two more years than her IQ I see.
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I’m, believe it or not, a gentleman, so I’m sure I’m pretty safe from any unwelcome sexual contact that never happened, but, BUT, when i used to drink, my party piece was to get hillock naked, pull my dick up with my balls hanging and run around the pub, party or street shouting ‘the last chicken in Saintsbury’s’
PS. The only reason I’m a gentleman is that if a bird was dead eyed it done nuffin for me.
I liked the slappers back then.
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I know Corden is a fat and ugly cunt… But even he deserves better than the noxious snatch of Madame Spastique…..
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You’re the one that put the pic of her snatch in the first place Norman, and warped my tiny fragile eggshell mind.
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Just had another look and realized that her cuffs don’t match her collar.
She forgot to bleach that landing strip, dizzy bint.
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Whose the bigger cunt?
(Press the appropriate like)
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Lily Allen……….
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James Corden……….
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Both are cunts birdman. Lily spasmong and James cunty corden fatty fuckface..cunts will still be cunts and I hate all cunts with a passion.
What next…who do you like more Blair, Corbyn etc……
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