Poor old Pete Skellhorn. His music was very melancholy. End of the night stuff when you’ve had your fill of jungle juice. I don’t know of any cuntishness he got up to other than becoming a priest in his latter years. I suppose that merits it.
Well, becoming a priest didn’t do him a lot of good…..Shame, I always planned on living a life of total cuntishness,then turning to god on my deathbed to get a free pass into that glorious whorehouse in the sky. Wonder if this old cunt was thinking the same?…. I’d imagine one listen to his “music” and he’d be out on his arse.
Suppose I’ll have to revise my plan and turn to islam,judaism,budda and any other variation…always better to hedge your bets. I also plan to bump off Gemma Arterton,just to make sure that she’s already there and braced for my First Coming.
I doubt heaven will be a whorehouse I can’t imagine it being like a fuck who you want, do what you want orgy like some people envision it. If anything worldly lustful desires like sex drinking and drugs will be no more …
Moslems will definitely be disappointed as far as the 72 virgins and rentboys serving you drinks part of the koran is concerned
And when him and Richard Stilgoe did a tour together…Jesus! Who’d want to see/hear that?
I’m surprised God took him: “Oh fuck no, Skellern is here! Listen if the cunt starts singing ‘Love Is’, tell Satan the exchange deal for Saddam is still on.”
TBH … I haven’t got a scooby who skellhorn is? , he doesn’t sound very interesting so I will reluctantly go with boring cunt, god rest his soul….
Today article 50 is over at the house of wax!, can someone please open up a new thread??
I’ve just read in the telegraph which lords are Eu pensioned and what they get!, unsurprisingly Welsh windbag and EU toady kinnocks in top spot on £88,000 a year !!, but apparently there’s at least 20+ who are taking the presidents silver!!, mandelsons got his snout in the trough to the tune of £35,000 a year, the telegraph has very kindly outed these EU quislings and some of their outrageous post referendum quotes, one of my favourites is lord teverson who said “Brexit doesn’t mean Brexit ” he is correct! It’s more like ” Brexit means the EU gravy train has hit the buffers!! ” cunt!!
This whole Brexit pie, has shown us what a load of cunts we have in the commons as well as and especially in the House of Lords. Most of them putting their own interests before the nations. Simply a bunch of triple distilled cunts of the highest purity.
I barely remember this guy, he used to play the piano and sing songs on the telly. At least he would come on, do his turn and then fuck off without giving you a 10 minute lecture on the cause de jour, unlike show biz cunts these days. That makes him a Gent in my book, not a cunt.
Cannot see one iota of cuntishness in Skellhorn. Let’s cunt Arsene fucking Wenger, nose in the air never takes advice failure of a cunt and frog wanker to boot.
Even Gooners don’t deserve that tosser.
Historically, that club have acted in the most despicable way and are trespassing on Tottenham’s turf. When these cunts decided to build their new library, did they fuck off back to Woolwich where they belong? Hell no. They doubled down and stayed in north London. Utter, utter, utter filthy bastards cunts.
Always cheers me up when they lose and this whole Wenger ‘is he, isn’t he’ debacle is very enjoyable. Really looking forward to the post Wenger meltdown ala Manure post Fergie.
When i walk into a room and the football is on the radio, i can tell its at the Emirates coz all i hear is the commentators and some noise from the smaller number of away fans.
They need to shake it up a bit and start cheering their side on.
Arsenal have just scored their second, and i know its at Sutton, but all i heard was an “ehhhhhh” and one guy repeating “Theo, Theo, Theo, and then the Sutton fans started singing again.
Theo Walcott.
Remember when Wenger encouraged England to take the 16 year old to a world cup for “experience” ?
He gained a lot, didn’t he ?
For the money and wages and contracts and bonuses and time spent on that cunt alone, should be the reason Wenger gets the bag.
Neither could I .I thought he was good.A bit dull but endearingly so.I have to confess I am a gooner.Wenger needs to go now.Great manager but has lost his touch.
Remember Skellern once on TOTP in the 70s… Something about ‘You’re a woman… I’m a man’ or something… Just nondescript really… Like something Neil Sedaka or Leo Sayer would turn down (and Sedaka and Sayer did some shit and all)… Agree when skiddy says at least Skellern was old school showbiz… No speeches, no preaching to the ‘lower orders’, no gobshite buffoonery, and no trying to be a dry and withering ‘comedian’ and a gobshite at the same time (Lineker, you fucking cunt!)…
I wanted Sutton to kick ‘Harsenal’ to death and beat the cunts… Just to see Wenger spit his dummy out for the millinonth time… Always whines on about how his bunch of fairies are ‘treated’, yet Wenger has had more cunts in his teams than there were on the isle of Lesbos…. There was that chippy, snide, spitting little cunt, Ian Wright… That diving cheating snail eating shit, Robert Pires… The human gorilla, Martin Keown (notice how his BBC paymasters missed out the disgraceful harassing of Ruud Van Nisterooy from a montage of Keown’s career), that other Frog shithouse, William Gallas… And the snivelling little shit that was Nigel Winterburn (loved it when Brian McClair twatted the little cunt)… Plus numerous other cheating cunts and pizza throwing softarses….
I’m not a massive gamer by any means, but I like to play a first person shooter once in a while. Taking out the bad guys with a head shot using a scoped rifle can be very therapeutic. Especially when pretending they’re some of the massive cunts I work with. Anyway, with a spare hour yesterday evening I thought I’d fire up the Xbox and and kill some people. Oh no you don’t.
First, there was the ‘your Xbox needs an update’ message. Erm….no it doesn’t. It was working just fine the last time I turned it on. You have no choice here. It’s a case of ‘install our fucking update or fuck you’. Microsoft very graciously provide a running count of the % downloaded so far, but absolutely no indication of how long it will take. Which would be more useful of course. Forty fucking minutes later the Xbox is patched and ready to go. You’d think you’d be taking down the baddies momentarily, but no! You fire up Call of Duty and that’s intercepted by another fucking message telling you it needs an update. Again, there’s no way around this and what makes it worse is the update is for the ‘online experience’. I don’t play online because that’s for cunts. Campaign mode only for me, but I have to endure this fucking update download all the same.
25 minutes later I return to the Xbox to see the CoD update has finished. Finally ready for some action, but no! I start CoD and am presented with a bright yellow banner across the screen with the word “Installing…” on it. What the fuck has this piece of shit electronics been doing for the last 65 minutes? You can press the B button to cancel this and go back to the main menu. I tried that and selected Campaign again. Same thing..”Installing…”. This installing bullshit lasted over half an hour.
So to re-cap. Xbox update – 40 minutes. Call Of Duty update – 25 minutes. Installing the Call of Duty update – 30 minutes. All I wanted to do was play a game for a while and this stupid fucking piece of shit games console pissed me around for over an hour and a half. Thanks Microsoft. Why don’t you cunts just fuck off with this shit?
I feel your pain mate console games in this generation lately have been getting a sickening amount of updates. Thing is developers shit out a game find out theres a game breaking bug then they have you download some 2 gigabyte patch update because the cunts were too lazy to give it a fair test run. Its cheaper to make games then to fix them
My rich mate had a Sinclair ZX81 and it was just such hot shit. You could get magazines with game code printed in them and you would spend hours typing in the code and end up with something like a very primitive Space Invaders or Pacman. Only most of the time they didn’t work because of a bug or there was a printing error or else you typed it incorrectly.
Sinclair ZX81 feels bloody ancient now, the thing was like a glorified calculator with electric notepad then a computer for gaming but was revolutionary for the time of course
As I recall they were not cheap either, £70 quid in 1981 was a fair bit when the average weekly wage was £135. About £270 in todays money. A lot for a fucking calculator.
I built my own ZX81 in 1983 because it was £20 quid cheaper and yep, had the ropey 16K expansion pack that was never designed to sit flush with the surface of the computer.
Then had a Spectrum 48K, Jupiter Ace – now that was a weird cunt with its Fourth language, Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC6128, Commodore Amiga (best games in home computing *EVER* you find me any game more addictive than Kick Off 2 or Silkworm and I’ll show you a Tony Blair – i.e. liar) and then a miriad of PC’s.
O’course I pissed all that game playing up the wall right…well…Maggie reckoned I could get a Science Degree doing that shit! Well count me in!
Been doing it professionally since 1993, not been out of work since leaving Poly and 16yrs as my own boss (paying fuck knows what tax into the system). See that’s where free education works, when cunts get jobs and pay back into the system which funded them.
Now you get cunts doing Beyoncè or “Posh & Becks” studies – what the fuck use is that to society!?! I’m all for free eduction, and I’d happily pay more corporation or personal tax to foot the bill but all those thick cunt subjects would be right off the agenda!
Wanna do science, maths, medicine, engineering please sign up. Want to do some fucking no-mark useless twat subject? Fuck off! I won’t stop you from doing a pointless subject that your pet guinea pig could do but I won’t be shelling out for it either! You go right ahead with 3 years of gender studies and enjoy the Maccy D’s job at the end of it! Twats!
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I’d like to un-cunt Lord Vague Hague and Lord Lawson for supporting democracy, even though it may not have been their choice for Brexit.
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I’d like to nominate the anti-BBC for a cunting for spending nigh-on 10mins of a 30mins “news” slot on crying about the latest famine crisis and huge *new* refugee crisis in South Sudan.
Very sad that the people of South Sudan (and fucking Nigeria and Somalia) have corrupt despot dictators who don’t give fuck about their own people but this is not the UKs problem nor the western world’s problem, it’s because those countries’ leaders couldn’t manage a two-piece jigsaw between them – even though a lot of them were educated in Oxford or Cambridge or Yale or Harvard.
No, sort your own fucking shit out and no matter what Les Dawson (Frau Merkel) says on the rest of Europe’s behalf…you’re not coming here! Sorry, we’re fucking full!
My mate had one. First time I’d seen a computer. A cassette player to load the game and woe betide if you accidently knocked the cable.
3d monster maze was the game we played. Hours of it.
I downloaded onto my laptop via an emulator a while ago.
It was crap. But good crap. Took me back 35 years!
Computer games in general are a bunch of cunt. More or less all the fucking same or variations on a very limited theme. Computers are for porn and calling cunts a cunt. Anyone playing games on them is a cunt.
It’s the Techno-Stasi mate. They’re all at it monitoring your every move and forcing you to have an account for the various services you’ll never use from their shit.
Google: I use you to look shit up. Why do I need a Google account for that? I want to download a FREE fucking game. Why do I need an account for that, when it’s already FREE?
Apple: why can no one do anything with your overpriced, locked down, expansionless crates without an iTwat account?
Microsoft: I have used your operating systems and software – warts and all – for over 30 years. I had the misfortune of buying a laptop with your Windows 10 version of your OS. Why do I need a Microsoft account for that? I paid £100 quid extra for your office suite. Why do I need a Microsoft account to install something I’ve already paid for? And finally once I created a dummy account – never to be used ever again – why the fuck do you keep on asking me to sign into the cunt that I don’t want and why is there no way of turning that pestering cunt of a prompt off? I have no intention of signing in so please FUCK OFF!
Windows 10 is a cunt. You can turn everything off and set to a metered connection and then it doesn’t spy on you. BUT then you can’t use bluetooth!! Why can’t I use bluetooth? Because I am on a metered connection! Bunch of cunt. I’m thinking of going back to Ubuntu although I’ve been playing round with Remix OS, which is like a version of android. Any alternative OSs anyone can recommend? Ubuntu is OK but it is a lot of titting about before you get it working properly.
I said glorified calculator looked like one too, I knew it had many uses and features Skidmark. Apparently you can plug a amplifier into it even but so many features were half broken for that piece of shite you had a better chance at finishing a rubix cube then figuring it out
The only reason I’d heard of Peter Skellern was through him being cunted a few months back.
Still don’t have a clue who he was, apart from being informed that he was one of the most dourist singers , second only to that other dead dude Leonard Cohen.
Don’t know if he was a cunt.
How come the rags aren’t calling Tom Daley a cheating cunt ?
They’ve been bumming about this cunt for years, saying he’s a wonderful lad, poor lad got bullied, how brave he was to come out, how he’s found love.
Well it turns out that he’s a nasty wee cunt that repeatedly cheats on his fiancée ( is that what you call an engaged poove ?, i don’t know ) for 18 months.
18 months is a long time to fuck over someone ye supposedly love, so come on daily rags, get tore into the horrible little cunt.
They would get torn into a straight slebs for it.
Different rules apply to batty boys. They are expected to behave in the most promiscuous way imaginable, it is all part of the “lifestyle” and if you say you don’t like it then you are homophobic.
When gay slebs, or any gays are on the telly, promoting their lifestyle choice, it must always be remembered that all it means is the dirty cunts put dicks in arseholes.
I’ve mentioned before that a friend of mine worked in hotels, and after a gay couple had spent the night, most times the sheets were covered in shite and blood.
If i was that way inclined, I’d just have a wank.
No matter what side ye bat for, shite and blood is a step too far.
Yes, Jeez, I just felt a little sick burp in my mouth after reading that birdman. No, honestly – I haven’t just swallowed, as straight as a dye me mate – honest. Its bad enough when her indoors lets you have treat sex for the first time, starts with a little finger to see if the old chutney locker is blinking then before you know it – banged right up her shit chute. Now the morning after was a bit shit and blood and it didn’t help we were staying in the Blackpool Hilton on her works Chrimbo do, what made it worse was her embarrassment at the thought that some bellhop may have reported said sheet and the jungle drums may have bonged all the way back to Barclays HQ (whoops, that narrows it down a bit 😉 that she only took the fucker home to dispose of it. I am glad you bore with me on that one (assuming you haven’t fucked off) as the thought of that shit and blood being shed by a shirtlifter is a bit too sick for me. If I happened upon that in the course of my duties that would be a rapid career change. I always thought hotel workers were a bit limp wristed anyway. like male nurses.
I’ve only rooted one bird up the shitepipe, cunto, but that was enough.
I went to the loo afterwards to find shite packed like putty, behind my foreskin.
Never again.
“Chutney locker is blinking”
This is the main reason i come on ISAC, the patter.
Brilliant, cunto.
Most of the lines I use at work these days are courtesy of J R Cuntley! The 40 somethings piss themselves and the hipster pre-pubescent twats look horrified, although I do try to do it after the poor wee foetuses have had their feeds for the day. Set of zero life experience cunts!
The Elastic Band
Turquoise Steak Factory
Fifth Dimension – fucking yank stole that one!
LSD
High Five – a fucking 4 piece
The Bummers
No Name
Golden Tampacks – that was in our sunny period!
And my favourite from our punk period – Hugh Mongus and the Tossers
He probably got bullied at school because the queer little sod was eyeing up the other lads in the showers.He has the look of a predatory poove,and I wouldn’t like the thought of him launching himself from a 10 meter diving board when I was swimming along underneath.
“Strictly No Bombing”….should be “Strictly No Bumming” where this cunt is concerned. I can’t see why they don’t force the cunt to use Barrymoore’s pool to practise his diving, I’m sure that they’d both enjoy it.
That Daley cunt does my head in, it’s not the fact that he’s homosexual, that’s his choice but it’s the fact that this cunt falls off a board every four years and is a national treasure despite the fact he’s never won the big one.
At some diving event a few years ago, the cunt let the side down and his diving partner fell out with him for being a dick.
Yet i don’t know the name of this other BRITISH diver, but get the inner leg on this little super rich, super famous gimp.
The little cunt got his own show on telly ffs.
Famous for falling elegantly into a pool.
Fuck off.
Bend-edict Cabbage Patch must surely stand a good chance as CoTW.
Recently shocked an audience of Shakespeare’s Hamlet in London with a foul mouthed rant in favour of refugee’s to the show’s audience who had paid to see a play rather than listen to Cabbage patch’s Fuck fest and airing of his political views.
He was previously the recipient of a CBE for his somewhat over rated acting abilities for which he has just received yet more plaudits for his crap rendition of the Great Detective Sherlock Holmes.
I can’t help but compare him with a somewhat more convincing Sherlock Holmes as acted by the great Basil Rathbone – who never saw fit to utter political bollocks in his long and illustrious film career and who counts amongst his awards no less than The Military Cross that he won in the trenches of the Great War when serving as an officer in the Liverpool Scottish !
I suppose you could say that Rathbone’s Sherlock Holmes films were full of political propaganda , especially those jutting jawed , stiff upper lip homilies he used to deliver in the final scene , denouncing the evils of Naziism and Communism – “There’s a cold wind blowing in from the East…”,etc. That was proper order though – I doubt that the Krauts had an IaC broadcast station , but you never know.Anyway , he’d definitely earned the right to cunt the nazis, unlike Benzedrine , whose only credentials for spouting off about the ‘unenlightened ,non libtard neanderthals’, is his membership of the luvvie elite ,who have the privilege of flexing their absurd notions due to heroes like Rathbone. (I would have given Jeremy Brett a knighthood too ).
Fucking hell, wait for one of Sundays papers with an exclusive from Daleys bummy chummy spillin his fucking heart out about how much he’s been hurt. Not as bad as the pain when he takes it up the fucking sewer pipe I would imagine. I fucking hate the swimming baths anyway. Last time I was there I went down the deep end for a sneaky piss. The fucking lifeguard saw me and blew his bastard whistle. Cunt blew it that fucking loud I nearly fell in! Cunt.
When we were younger, primary 7 age, we’d go to the baffs and one of us, who i wish i could name, used to go to where the water was pumped into the pool and stick his arse up against it.
He’d hold onto the guttering and press his feet against the wall, under water, to get the most out of it.
We’d all be swimming about and having fun (no bombing) , and this pervy fucker was willingly getting arse raped by a water pump, with a content look on his face.
Fuck, i wish i could name him, coz he comes from a very affluent family.
I would like to cunt vocal minorities.
Whether it is the flat earthers against fracking who travel the country setting up their fucking hippy camps, the anti Trumpeteers (the cunt was voted president, get over it), The Remoaners (who are a minority even of those that voted Remain), No-platforming student fucking halfwits, the LGBT set (if that is the right acronym. You have your rights, now shut the fuck up. The rest of us couldn’t give a fuck), friends of the religion of peace who cast the cunts as victims, Black Lives Matter (of course they do but it is usually blacks who kill blacks)
There are many many more. Make enough noise and your minority supersedes the majority, and that cant be right.
Fuck off and crawl back under your stones. Cunts
Hole in one. I was only giving off today about this phenomenon . It translates to all situations . These cunts always believe they have the moral high-ground , and become affronted or abusive , more often than not, when their beliefs/opinions are challenged – that’s if they can demean themselves by bothering to respond at all -huffy , pained silence is quite common ; otherwise they’ll spout negative , personal , remarks or abuse about something completely unrelated , in a pathetic attempt to discredit the challenger.
In any work situation , I’ve invariably found that those who spoke most and loudest said the least.
Pity the meejah in general , and the BBC in particular , seems to value the views of the vocal minority above the more silent , reasonable ,majority.
Can we add to that the 2 stupid UKIP mongs who have resigned over Nuttalls web page and Arron Banks Hillsborough comments. Go and fuck right off you pair of shallow mawkish pathetic cunts. Banks is right, everyone is fucking sick to the back fucking teeth of listening to it. We know it was the biggest disaster ever to happen in the history of the fucking planet but for fucks sake! Why don’t they just give them their own fucking channel on Sky and any cunt that wants to listen or fucking wallow in it can tune in and slake their thirst to their hearts content. Fucking get real.
Are there any normal adverts on tv these days? I used to see ads for toilet paper, and washing powder, and dog food, now all I see are begging adverts asking for money to give to fucking kids in some shithole somewhere like Africa. The reason they’ve too many kids to feed is because they won’t use the free contraceptives they’ve been given, because the men see them as a threat to their masculinity or some such nonsense. You get to a point where you say, if they don’t want to be helped then fuck ’em.
Oh it’s going to get better as well. See my anti-BBC cunting nomination above.
Won’t be long before Cumberbund, Redpain, Lily Diazapam, Ewan MacBegger, et. al., will all be shilling for the latest famine crisis in – surprise, surprise – Africa, namely South Sudan, North Nigeria and Somalia.
Hopefully Sir Mohamed Muktar Jama “Mo” Farah will have some Quorn shipped over for the poor, starving cunts. If they can stomach it that is! 💩
Before i became a veggie, burgers were my favorite.
But I’d definitely say that Linda McCartney’s mozzarella quarter pounders are the best burgers I’ve ever tasted.
Go on, give em a go.
The downside is, i give money to the McCartney dynasty.
Didn’t Peter Skellern ghostwrite smack my bitch up for prodigy?, I also have it on good authority that he co wrote niggas in paris for kayne west don’t ask me bout my sources its a secret
Never to be heard of again because it’s too gender specific and would offend the LGBTQ majority that exists in society – judging by easy triggered snowflake cunts!
“You’re a lady
I’m a man…”
Would have to be re-written for the PC generation as:
I said in the first cunting of Peter Skellern, “who the fuck is he ?”, and after reading all the comments in his first cunting, googling him and reading about him in the paper when he died, I’m still no nearer to the answer.
Similar I suppose to that soppy song writing Chris de Burgh, who is a cunt by the way, with his shitey lady in red crap. Skellern every time for me over that little fart. 👊
He did the theme tune to Me and My Girl with Richard O’Sullivan. It was bad, “The moon may shaaaag the leisure”. WTF?! Fair play to him if he became a priest after the hits dried up.
Just watching some highlights from article 50 debate from the house of wax, the level of cuntisness from some of these unelected relics is staggering!, one example is lord foulkes from Cumnock who should be referred to as lord fuck from cumcock in future, apparently he thinks that the government would only have a mandate to leave the EU if 75% of the voters had gone that way!! Chances of ever getting 75% of the vote?? Nil and this fuckin wonky eyed Scottish labour remainer knows that!, utterly ridiculous shite!!.. If that was the criteria for winning referendums then he should have done his homework as we only voted 67% yes when we joined back in 1970,s with a turnout of 64% which by the way lord fuck was below the 72.5% for last years referendum, so by this Cunts reckoning the 1974 referendum would be void…. stupid old out of touch Cunt!!
Can i would like to nominate Melina Trump as the latest cunt and heres why-
its the repulsed look s in the media whenever Donald the cunt goes anywhere nere her-that’s the cost of gold digging you slag,it means you attach yourself to someone with money and then are expected to perform certain duties[sort of like an unpaid hooker] get used to it or play along until the cunt is skint or dead or get a divorce you money grabbing slag until then I think you may need to stop pulling faces when he touches you infront of the media you silly bitch……ps I would pull faces if I was anywhere near trump as well….but then I’m not shagging him for money
Yes she definitely treats him with a thinly veiled layer of contempt and you can see the utter disappointment of the absence of any grassy knolls on her face on each state visit he makes.
“So Melania, what attracted you to the billionaire Donald Trump?”
They all follow the same pattern: pretty, get the hooks in, make sure you get jizzed in so a wealthy future is assured (irrespective of the pre-nup) courtesy of the maintenance payments, before you get skipped over for a newer model in a few years time.
Here’s a question fellow cunters… melina trump good in bed?? Or utterly shite??
I’m going with ice maiden shite!!
😂
And she would cost more to run than a fleet of Ferraris too….
Only saying
Chris Spivey is a scrounging lay about good for nothing unemployable baldy cunt!
https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder214/500x/52441214.jpg
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Jeez, You aren’t THE Tom Cahill are you Tom?
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Poor old Pete Skellhorn. His music was very melancholy. End of the night stuff when you’ve had your fill of jungle juice. I don’t know of any cuntishness he got up to other than becoming a priest in his latter years. I suppose that merits it.
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You’re alive but I am dead ,
You wouldn’t want me in your bed ,
Though as a priest I couldn’t wed,
You now , you now.
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Well, becoming a priest didn’t do him a lot of good…..Shame, I always planned on living a life of total cuntishness,then turning to god on my deathbed to get a free pass into that glorious whorehouse in the sky. Wonder if this old cunt was thinking the same?…. I’d imagine one listen to his “music” and he’d be out on his arse.
Suppose I’ll have to revise my plan and turn to islam,judaism,budda and any other variation…always better to hedge your bets. I also plan to bump off Gemma Arterton,just to make sure that she’s already there and braced for my First Coming.
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I doubt heaven will be a whorehouse I can’t imagine it being like a fuck who you want, do what you want orgy like some people envision it. If anything worldly lustful desires like sex drinking and drugs will be no more …
Moslems will definitely be disappointed as far as the 72 virgins and rentboys serving you drinks part of the koran is concerned
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He was as dull as dishwater.
And when him and Richard Stilgoe did a tour together…Jesus! Who’d want to see/hear that?
I’m surprised God took him: “Oh fuck no, Skellern is here! Listen if the cunt starts singing ‘Love Is’, tell Satan the exchange deal for Saddam is still on.”
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TBH … I haven’t got a scooby who skellhorn is? , he doesn’t sound very interesting so I will reluctantly go with boring cunt, god rest his soul….
Today article 50 is over at the house of wax!, can someone please open up a new thread??
I’ve just read in the telegraph which lords are Eu pensioned and what they get!, unsurprisingly Welsh windbag and EU toady kinnocks in top spot on £88,000 a year !!, but apparently there’s at least 20+ who are taking the presidents silver!!, mandelsons got his snout in the trough to the tune of £35,000 a year, the telegraph has very kindly outed these EU quislings and some of their outrageous post referendum quotes, one of my favourites is lord teverson who said “Brexit doesn’t mean Brexit ” he is correct! It’s more like ” Brexit means the EU gravy train has hit the buffers!! ” cunt!!
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This whole Brexit pie, has shown us what a load of cunts we have in the commons as well as and especially in the House of Lords. Most of them putting their own interests before the nations. Simply a bunch of triple distilled cunts of the highest purity.
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I barely remember this guy, he used to play the piano and sing songs on the telly. At least he would come on, do his turn and then fuck off without giving you a 10 minute lecture on the cause de jour, unlike show biz cunts these days. That makes him a Gent in my book, not a cunt.
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Cannot see one iota of cuntishness in Skellhorn. Let’s cunt Arsene fucking Wenger, nose in the air never takes advice failure of a cunt and frog wanker to boot.
Even Gooners don’t deserve that tosser.
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Yes they do.
Historically, that club have acted in the most despicable way and are trespassing on Tottenham’s turf. When these cunts decided to build their new library, did they fuck off back to Woolwich where they belong? Hell no. They doubled down and stayed in north London. Utter, utter, utter filthy bastards cunts.
Always cheers me up when they lose and this whole Wenger ‘is he, isn’t he’ debacle is very enjoyable. Really looking forward to the post Wenger meltdown ala Manure post Fergie.
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When i walk into a room and the football is on the radio, i can tell its at the Emirates coz all i hear is the commentators and some noise from the smaller number of away fans.
They need to shake it up a bit and start cheering their side on.
Boring , boring Arsenal (fans).
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“Just like a library, just like a library, just like a library, just like a library”. Hahahaha.
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Arsenal have just scored their second, and i know its at Sutton, but all i heard was an “ehhhhhh” and one guy repeating “Theo, Theo, Theo, and then the Sutton fans started singing again.
Theo Walcott.
Remember when Wenger encouraged England to take the 16 year old to a world cup for “experience” ?
He gained a lot, didn’t he ?
For the money and wages and contracts and bonuses and time spent on that cunt alone, should be the reason Wenger gets the bag.
And then there’s Oxlade-Chamberlain.
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Neither could I .I thought he was good.A bit dull but endearingly so.I have to confess I am a gooner.Wenger needs to go now.Great manager but has lost his touch.
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Remember Skellern once on TOTP in the 70s… Something about ‘You’re a woman… I’m a man’ or something… Just nondescript really… Like something Neil Sedaka or Leo Sayer would turn down (and Sedaka and Sayer did some shit and all)… Agree when skiddy says at least Skellern was old school showbiz… No speeches, no preaching to the ‘lower orders’, no gobshite buffoonery, and no trying to be a dry and withering ‘comedian’ and a gobshite at the same time (Lineker, you fucking cunt!)…
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I wanted Sutton to kick ‘Harsenal’ to death and beat the cunts… Just to see Wenger spit his dummy out for the millinonth time… Always whines on about how his bunch of fairies are ‘treated’, yet Wenger has had more cunts in his teams than there were on the isle of Lesbos…. There was that chippy, snide, spitting little cunt, Ian Wright… That diving cheating snail eating shit, Robert Pires… The human gorilla, Martin Keown (notice how his BBC paymasters missed out the disgraceful harassing of Ruud Van Nisterooy from a montage of Keown’s career), that other Frog shithouse, William Gallas… And the snivelling little shit that was Nigel Winterburn (loved it when Brian McClair twatted the little cunt)… Plus numerous other cheating cunts and pizza throwing softarses….
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I’d like to cunt my Xbox One.
I’m not a massive gamer by any means, but I like to play a first person shooter once in a while. Taking out the bad guys with a head shot using a scoped rifle can be very therapeutic. Especially when pretending they’re some of the massive cunts I work with. Anyway, with a spare hour yesterday evening I thought I’d fire up the Xbox and and kill some people. Oh no you don’t.
First, there was the ‘your Xbox needs an update’ message. Erm….no it doesn’t. It was working just fine the last time I turned it on. You have no choice here. It’s a case of ‘install our fucking update or fuck you’. Microsoft very graciously provide a running count of the % downloaded so far, but absolutely no indication of how long it will take. Which would be more useful of course. Forty fucking minutes later the Xbox is patched and ready to go. You’d think you’d be taking down the baddies momentarily, but no! You fire up Call of Duty and that’s intercepted by another fucking message telling you it needs an update. Again, there’s no way around this and what makes it worse is the update is for the ‘online experience’. I don’t play online because that’s for cunts. Campaign mode only for me, but I have to endure this fucking update download all the same.
25 minutes later I return to the Xbox to see the CoD update has finished. Finally ready for some action, but no! I start CoD and am presented with a bright yellow banner across the screen with the word “Installing…” on it. What the fuck has this piece of shit electronics been doing for the last 65 minutes? You can press the B button to cancel this and go back to the main menu. I tried that and selected Campaign again. Same thing..”Installing…”. This installing bullshit lasted over half an hour.
So to re-cap. Xbox update – 40 minutes. Call Of Duty update – 25 minutes. Installing the Call of Duty update – 30 minutes. All I wanted to do was play a game for a while and this stupid fucking piece of shit games console pissed me around for over an hour and a half. Thanks Microsoft. Why don’t you cunts just fuck off with this shit?
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I feel your pain mate console games in this generation lately have been getting a sickening amount of updates. Thing is developers shit out a game find out theres a game breaking bug then they have you download some 2 gigabyte patch update because the cunts were too lazy to give it a fair test run. Its cheaper to make games then to fix them
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My rich mate had a Sinclair ZX81 and it was just such hot shit. You could get magazines with game code printed in them and you would spend hours typing in the code and end up with something like a very primitive Space Invaders or Pacman. Only most of the time they didn’t work because of a bug or there was a printing error or else you typed it incorrectly.
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Sinclair ZX81 feels bloody ancient now, the thing was like a glorified calculator with electric notepad then a computer for gaming but was revolutionary for the time of course
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As I recall they were not cheap either, £70 quid in 1981 was a fair bit when the average weekly wage was £135. About £270 in todays money. A lot for a fucking calculator.
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I built my own ZX81 in 1983 because it was £20 quid cheaper and yep, had the ropey 16K expansion pack that was never designed to sit flush with the surface of the computer.
Then had a Spectrum 48K, Jupiter Ace – now that was a weird cunt with its Fourth language, Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC6128, Commodore Amiga (best games in home computing *EVER* you find me any game more addictive than Kick Off 2 or Silkworm and I’ll show you a Tony Blair – i.e. liar) and then a miriad of PC’s.
O’course I pissed all that game playing up the wall right…well…Maggie reckoned I could get a Science Degree doing that shit! Well count me in!
Been doing it professionally since 1993, not been out of work since leaving Poly and 16yrs as my own boss (paying fuck knows what tax into the system). See that’s where free education works, when cunts get jobs and pay back into the system which funded them.
Now you get cunts doing Beyoncè or “Posh & Becks” studies – what the fuck use is that to society!?! I’m all for free eduction, and I’d happily pay more corporation or personal tax to foot the bill but all those thick cunt subjects would be right off the agenda!
Wanna do science, maths, medicine, engineering please sign up. Want to do some fucking no-mark useless twat subject? Fuck off! I won’t stop you from doing a pointless subject that your pet guinea pig could do but I won’t be shelling out for it either! You go right ahead with 3 years of gender studies and enjoy the Maccy D’s job at the end of it! Twats!
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I’d like to un-cunt Lord Vague Hague and Lord Lawson for supporting democracy, even though it may not have been their choice for Brexit.
—-
I’d like to nominate the anti-BBC for a cunting for spending nigh-on 10mins of a 30mins “news” slot on crying about the latest famine crisis and huge *new* refugee crisis in South Sudan.
Very sad that the people of South Sudan (and fucking Nigeria and Somalia) have corrupt despot dictators who don’t give fuck about their own people but this is not the UKs problem nor the western world’s problem, it’s because those countries’ leaders couldn’t manage a two-piece jigsaw between them – even though a lot of them were educated in Oxford or Cambridge or Yale or Harvard.
No, sort your own fucking shit out and no matter what Les Dawson (Frau Merkel) says on the rest of Europe’s behalf…you’re not coming here! Sorry, we’re fucking full!
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My mate had one. First time I’d seen a computer. A cassette player to load the game and woe betide if you accidently knocked the cable.
3d monster maze was the game we played. Hours of it.
I downloaded onto my laptop via an emulator a while ago.
It was crap. But good crap. Took me back 35 years!
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Computer games in general are a bunch of cunt. More or less all the fucking same or variations on a very limited theme. Computers are for porn and calling cunts a cunt. Anyone playing games on them is a cunt.
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Totally agree, nothing better than calling somebody a cunt, then some porn, then some cunting, and then some more porn.
Then more cunting, then more porn.
How do I hold down a job ?
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BWB – Did your mate have the 16 KB RAM pack? If you sneezed anywhere near that thing, it crashed.
I started off on Commodore computers. Commodore PET, VIC-20, 64, etc. I did have a Spectrum at one point. Loved it all and thus a career was born.
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We bought a xbox a few years ago. It lasted precisely 14 fucking twatting cunting months. Piece of fucking SHITE.
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It’s the Techno-Stasi mate. They’re all at it monitoring your every move and forcing you to have an account for the various services you’ll never use from their shit.
Google: I use you to look shit up. Why do I need a Google account for that? I want to download a FREE fucking game. Why do I need an account for that, when it’s already FREE?
Apple: why can no one do anything with your overpriced, locked down, expansionless crates without an iTwat account?
Microsoft: I have used your operating systems and software – warts and all – for over 30 years. I had the misfortune of buying a laptop with your Windows 10 version of your OS. Why do I need a Microsoft account for that? I paid £100 quid extra for your office suite. Why do I need a Microsoft account to install something I’ve already paid for? And finally once I created a dummy account – never to be used ever again – why the fuck do you keep on asking me to sign into the cunt that I don’t want and why is there no way of turning that pestering cunt of a prompt off? I have no intention of signing in so please FUCK OFF!
Nosey cunts!
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Windows 10 is a cunt. You can turn everything off and set to a metered connection and then it doesn’t spy on you. BUT then you can’t use bluetooth!! Why can’t I use bluetooth? Because I am on a metered connection! Bunch of cunt. I’m thinking of going back to Ubuntu although I’ve been playing round with Remix OS, which is like a version of android. Any alternative OSs anyone can recommend? Ubuntu is OK but it is a lot of titting about before you get it working properly.
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I said glorified calculator looked like one too, I knew it had many uses and features Skidmark. Apparently you can plug a amplifier into it even but so many features were half broken for that piece of shite you had a better chance at finishing a rubix cube then figuring it out
Funny twitter page for the sinclair ZX81 https://twitter.com/search?q=%23ZX81 4 those interested
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How dare you cunters Peter Skellern is my hero! he told me everything their is to know about tuneless boring lifeless music damn you
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The only reason I’d heard of Peter Skellern was through him being cunted a few months back.
Still don’t have a clue who he was, apart from being informed that he was one of the most dourist singers , second only to that other dead dude Leonard Cohen.
Don’t know if he was a cunt.
How come the rags aren’t calling Tom Daley a cheating cunt ?
They’ve been bumming about this cunt for years, saying he’s a wonderful lad, poor lad got bullied, how brave he was to come out, how he’s found love.
Well it turns out that he’s a nasty wee cunt that repeatedly cheats on his fiancée ( is that what you call an engaged poove ?, i don’t know ) for 18 months.
18 months is a long time to fuck over someone ye supposedly love, so come on daily rags, get tore into the horrible little cunt.
They would get torn into a straight slebs for it.
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Different rules apply to batty boys. They are expected to behave in the most promiscuous way imaginable, it is all part of the “lifestyle” and if you say you don’t like it then you are homophobic.
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When gay slebs, or any gays are on the telly, promoting their lifestyle choice, it must always be remembered that all it means is the dirty cunts put dicks in arseholes.
I’ve mentioned before that a friend of mine worked in hotels, and after a gay couple had spent the night, most times the sheets were covered in shite and blood.
If i was that way inclined, I’d just have a wank.
No matter what side ye bat for, shite and blood is a step too far.
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Yes, Jeez, I just felt a little sick burp in my mouth after reading that birdman. No, honestly – I haven’t just swallowed, as straight as a dye me mate – honest. Its bad enough when her indoors lets you have treat sex for the first time, starts with a little finger to see if the old chutney locker is blinking then before you know it – banged right up her shit chute. Now the morning after was a bit shit and blood and it didn’t help we were staying in the Blackpool Hilton on her works Chrimbo do, what made it worse was her embarrassment at the thought that some bellhop may have reported said sheet and the jungle drums may have bonged all the way back to Barclays HQ (whoops, that narrows it down a bit 😉 that she only took the fucker home to dispose of it. I am glad you bore with me on that one (assuming you haven’t fucked off) as the thought of that shit and blood being shed by a shirtlifter is a bit too sick for me. If I happened upon that in the course of my duties that would be a rapid career change. I always thought hotel workers were a bit limp wristed anyway. like male nurses.
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I’ve only rooted one bird up the shitepipe, cunto, but that was enough.
I went to the loo afterwards to find shite packed like putty, behind my foreskin.
Never again.
“Chutney locker is blinking”
This is the main reason i come on ISAC, the patter.
Brilliant, cunto.
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I used to play in a band called Foreskin, never played anything original, just a few cheesey covers…..
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I sincerely hope you make a living writing comedy.
I get more laughs out of you than I do filums, telly, radio or the paper.
EVERY DAY !
And its mostly off the cuff and topical.
Cheers, JR Cuntly.
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Cheers….you’re too kind…..
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And he’s here all week! 😁
Most of the lines I use at work these days are courtesy of J R Cuntley! The 40 somethings piss themselves and the hipster pre-pubescent twats look horrified, although I do try to do it after the poor wee foetuses have had their feeds for the day. Set of zero life experience cunts!
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JRC has been on a roll for a while now.
Quality entertainment. Keep it up good sir!
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Band names? Jeez I was in few crap ones :
The Elastic Band
Turquoise Steak Factory
Fifth Dimension – fucking yank stole that one!
LSD
High Five – a fucking 4 piece
The Bummers
No Name
Golden Tampacks – that was in our sunny period!
And my favourite from our punk period – Hugh Mongus and the Tossers
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He probably got bullied at school because the queer little sod was eyeing up the other lads in the showers.He has the look of a predatory poove,and I wouldn’t like the thought of him launching himself from a 10 meter diving board when I was swimming along underneath.
“Strictly No Bombing”….should be “Strictly No Bumming” where this cunt is concerned. I can’t see why they don’t force the cunt to use Barrymoore’s pool to practise his diving, I’m sure that they’d both enjoy it.
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I burst out laughing twice there.
Brilliant, Dick Fiddler.
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That Daley cunt does my head in, it’s not the fact that he’s homosexual, that’s his choice but it’s the fact that this cunt falls off a board every four years and is a national treasure despite the fact he’s never won the big one.
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At some diving event a few years ago, the cunt let the side down and his diving partner fell out with him for being a dick.
Yet i don’t know the name of this other BRITISH diver, but get the inner leg on this little super rich, super famous gimp.
The little cunt got his own show on telly ffs.
Famous for falling elegantly into a pool.
Fuck off.
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Over Decorated Cunt.
Bend-edict Cabbage Patch must surely stand a good chance as CoTW.
Recently shocked an audience of Shakespeare’s Hamlet in London with a foul mouthed rant in favour of refugee’s to the show’s audience who had paid to see a play rather than listen to Cabbage patch’s Fuck fest and airing of his political views.
He was previously the recipient of a CBE for his somewhat over rated acting abilities for which he has just received yet more plaudits for his crap rendition of the Great Detective Sherlock Holmes.
I can’t help but compare him with a somewhat more convincing Sherlock Holmes as acted by the great Basil Rathbone – who never saw fit to utter political bollocks in his long and illustrious film career and who counts amongst his awards no less than The Military Cross that he won in the trenches of the Great War when serving as an officer in the Liverpool Scottish !
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I suppose you could say that Rathbone’s Sherlock Holmes films were full of political propaganda , especially those jutting jawed , stiff upper lip homilies he used to deliver in the final scene , denouncing the evils of Naziism and Communism – “There’s a cold wind blowing in from the East…”,etc. That was proper order though – I doubt that the Krauts had an IaC broadcast station , but you never know.Anyway , he’d definitely earned the right to cunt the nazis, unlike Benzedrine , whose only credentials for spouting off about the ‘unenlightened ,non libtard neanderthals’, is his membership of the luvvie elite ,who have the privilege of flexing their absurd notions due to heroes like Rathbone. (I would have given Jeremy Brett a knighthood too ).
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Fucking hell, wait for one of Sundays papers with an exclusive from Daleys bummy chummy spillin his fucking heart out about how much he’s been hurt. Not as bad as the pain when he takes it up the fucking sewer pipe I would imagine. I fucking hate the swimming baths anyway. Last time I was there I went down the deep end for a sneaky piss. The fucking lifeguard saw me and blew his bastard whistle. Cunt blew it that fucking loud I nearly fell in! Cunt.
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When we were younger, primary 7 age, we’d go to the baffs and one of us, who i wish i could name, used to go to where the water was pumped into the pool and stick his arse up against it.
He’d hold onto the guttering and press his feet against the wall, under water, to get the most out of it.
We’d all be swimming about and having fun (no bombing) , and this pervy fucker was willingly getting arse raped by a water pump, with a content look on his face.
Fuck, i wish i could name him, coz he comes from a very affluent family.
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Go on Birdman, ya can’t leave us danglin!
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I would like to cunt vocal minorities.
Whether it is the flat earthers against fracking who travel the country setting up their fucking hippy camps, the anti Trumpeteers (the cunt was voted president, get over it), The Remoaners (who are a minority even of those that voted Remain), No-platforming student fucking halfwits, the LGBT set (if that is the right acronym. You have your rights, now shut the fuck up. The rest of us couldn’t give a fuck), friends of the religion of peace who cast the cunts as victims, Black Lives Matter (of course they do but it is usually blacks who kill blacks)
There are many many more. Make enough noise and your minority supersedes the majority, and that cant be right.
Fuck off and crawl back under your stones. Cunts
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Hole in one. I was only giving off today about this phenomenon . It translates to all situations . These cunts always believe they have the moral high-ground , and become affronted or abusive , more often than not, when their beliefs/opinions are challenged – that’s if they can demean themselves by bothering to respond at all -huffy , pained silence is quite common ; otherwise they’ll spout negative , personal , remarks or abuse about something completely unrelated , in a pathetic attempt to discredit the challenger.
In any work situation , I’ve invariably found that those who spoke most and loudest said the least.
Pity the meejah in general , and the BBC in particular , seems to value the views of the vocal minority above the more silent , reasonable ,majority.
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Can we add to that the 2 stupid UKIP mongs who have resigned over Nuttalls web page and Arron Banks Hillsborough comments. Go and fuck right off you pair of shallow mawkish pathetic cunts. Banks is right, everyone is fucking sick to the back fucking teeth of listening to it. We know it was the biggest disaster ever to happen in the history of the fucking planet but for fucks sake! Why don’t they just give them their own fucking channel on Sky and any cunt that wants to listen or fucking wallow in it can tune in and slake their thirst to their hearts content. Fucking get real.
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Didn’t Skellern do “You’re a Lady, I’m a….. Corpse”?
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He does now! 😂
—-
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Are there any normal adverts on tv these days? I used to see ads for toilet paper, and washing powder, and dog food, now all I see are begging adverts asking for money to give to fucking kids in some shithole somewhere like Africa. The reason they’ve too many kids to feed is because they won’t use the free contraceptives they’ve been given, because the men see them as a threat to their masculinity or some such nonsense. You get to a point where you say, if they don’t want to be helped then fuck ’em.
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Oh it’s going to get better as well. See my anti-BBC cunting nomination above.
Won’t be long before Cumberbund, Redpain, Lily Diazapam, Ewan MacBegger, et. al., will all be shilling for the latest famine crisis in – surprise, surprise – Africa, namely South Sudan, North Nigeria and Somalia.
Hopefully Sir Mohamed Muktar Jama “Mo” Farah will have some Quorn shipped over for the poor, starving cunts. If they can stomach it that is! 💩
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Quorn is delicious.
Before i became a veggie, burgers were my favorite.
But I’d definitely say that Linda McCartney’s mozzarella quarter pounders are the best burgers I’ve ever tasted.
Go on, give em a go.
The downside is, i give money to the McCartney dynasty.
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Second the mozzarella burgers. First time I had them thought I’d bought meat ones by mistake.
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Does she do scratchings?
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No, but the Heather Mills range does shavings and splinters.
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I already got to that point!
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Could these be Maddys killers some say probably http://livingresistance.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/30748819321_9f078bf394_b.jpg
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What was that song of his? Oh yeah…
“You’re a lady
I’m a man
Take my willy
In your hand
Do a little
Rub a dub for me…”
Yeah, that was it…!
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Didn’t Peter Skellern ghostwrite smack my bitch up for prodigy?, I also have it on good authority that he co wrote niggas in paris for kayne west don’t ask me bout my sources its a secret
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Never to be heard of again because it’s too gender specific and would offend the LGBTQ majority that exists in society – judging by easy triggered snowflake cunts!
“You’re a lady
I’m a man…”
Would have to be re-written for the PC generation as:
“You’re a post-op
I’m a trans…”
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Am I the only one that thinks WHO THE FUCK IS PETER SEKELLERN?
Love shit like this. Makes me feel young.
I’m 36 so I’m starting to feel like a grumpy old cunt but maybe it’s not so bad after all.
…or maybe I just need to get our more.
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I said in the first cunting of Peter Skellern, “who the fuck is he ?”, and after reading all the comments in his first cunting, googling him and reading about him in the paper when he died, I’m still no nearer to the answer.
Who the fuck is Peter Skellern ?
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Yea I googled him but still no idea!
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Similar I suppose to that soppy song writing Chris de Burgh, who is a cunt by the way, with his shitey lady in red crap. Skellern every time for me over that little fart. 👊
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He did the theme tune to Me and My Girl with Richard O’Sullivan. It was bad, “The moon may shaaaag the leisure”. WTF?! Fair play to him if he became a priest after the hits dried up.
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Just watching some highlights from article 50 debate from the house of wax, the level of cuntisness from some of these unelected relics is staggering!, one example is lord foulkes from Cumnock who should be referred to as lord fuck from cumcock in future, apparently he thinks that the government would only have a mandate to leave the EU if 75% of the voters had gone that way!! Chances of ever getting 75% of the vote?? Nil and this fuckin wonky eyed Scottish labour remainer knows that!, utterly ridiculous shite!!.. If that was the criteria for winning referendums then he should have done his homework as we only voted 67% yes when we joined back in 1970,s with a turnout of 64% which by the way lord fuck was below the 72.5% for last years referendum, so by this Cunts reckoning the 1974 referendum would be void…. stupid old out of touch Cunt!!
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Can i would like to nominate Melina Trump as the latest cunt and heres why-
its the repulsed look s in the media whenever Donald the cunt goes anywhere nere her-that’s the cost of gold digging you slag,it means you attach yourself to someone with money and then are expected to perform certain duties[sort of like an unpaid hooker] get used to it or play along until the cunt is skint or dead or get a divorce you money grabbing slag until then I think you may need to stop pulling faces when he touches you infront of the media you silly bitch……ps I would pull faces if I was anywhere near trump as well….but then I’m not shagging him for money
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Yes she definitely treats him with a thinly veiled layer of contempt and you can see the utter disappointment of the absence of any grassy knolls on her face on each state visit he makes.
“So Melania, what attracted you to the billionaire Donald Trump?”
They all follow the same pattern: pretty, get the hooks in, make sure you get jizzed in so a wealthy future is assured (irrespective of the pre-nup) courtesy of the maintenance payments, before you get skipped over for a newer model in a few years time.
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Here’s a question fellow cunters… melina trump good in bed?? Or utterly shite??
I’m going with ice maiden shite!!
😂
And she would cost more to run than a fleet of Ferraris too….
Only saying
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A bit like wax fruit.
Looks perfect – until you try it.
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Melania trump!! 😡😡
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