Strange Attractions

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Can be cunts.

Being nosey like all women, the wife can’t resist peering over my shoulder when I’m at my laptop, just to see what I’m actually looking at. So she just caught me again, pouring over images of, er, Rachel Reeves. ‘Christ’ says she, ‘you’re weird, you’ (which is good, coming from the woman who gets hot under the collar watching that cunt Monty Don polishing his prize cucumber on ‘Gardener’s World’).

In all honesty however, I have to admit that she’s not wrong. The fact is, I hate Rachel Reeves the Labour politician and all she stands for, on top of which, she has to be the most useless Chancellor of the Exchequer of all time. The problem is that in spite of that, and in spite of the fact that she’s absolutely no looker, I find her as sexy as fuck; don’t ask me why, I just do. I reckon that he’s hotter than a navvy’s armpit.

It’s a strange attraction right enough, and I can’t explain it. I was seriously thinking of cunting myself for this perversion, but then I started to wonder whether such a taste was actually all that odd. For instance, my pal Big Al once owned up that he ‘wouldn’t say no’ to Nicola Sturgeon (yes, I know). Then there’s a very old female friend of mine who admitted (as we were on our third bottle of wine) that pug-ugly Geordie lad Jimmy Nail would be in luck if the chance ever presented itself. ‘Bloody hell, he’s really rough’ I said. ‘Yes’ she replied, licking her lips lasciviously; ‘really rough in an Armani suit’. Then there’s another old friend of mine who owned to fancying (get this) Gordon fucking Brown. ‘I want to be re-incarnated as his underpants’ she admitted, and she wasn’t joking; honestly, I kid you not.

So I’m wondering if I am indeed odd, or pretty much the same as everybody else. Are strange attractions a cunt? Come on cunters, what do you think, and who will you own up to having a weird hard-on for, under cover of the anonymity of IsAC? Tell your Uncle Ron all.

bing

Nominated by Ron Knee.

130 thoughts on “Strange Attractions”

  1. I used lo like Nerys Hughes in The Liver Birds.

    Alison Steadman in Abigail’s Party also gave me the raging horn in the old days.

    And, I recall an absolutely appalling ITV sitcom called That’s My Boy. It starred Molly Sugden and it was shit of the highest order.

    However, the young wife who was in it. I wanted to shag her to Kingdom Come.

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      • Diane was a favourite of mine, Miserable.

        I also remember an episode of 1970s spooky series, Thriller.
        Barbara Feldon and Linda Thorson together.

        I would have killed to be the filling in that particular sandwich.

  2. Starmer is attracted to dodgy peers who are in turn attracted to even dodgier sex offenders. This latest one, Lord Matthew Doyle, even looks like Rolf Harris.

    BBCNews

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  3. Gordon Brown?!

    I hope she was recaptured very quickly.🤣

    But, I might be able to go one or two better, Ron.
    My auntie fancied both Meat Loaf and Lawrie McMenemy.

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    • Yep Norman; Gordon Brown.

      It was the ‘I want to come back as his underpants’ bit that really got me.

      Mind you, I’d like to come back as Julia Hartley-Brewer’s bra and pants. It must be catching.

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  4. What about those wimminz that suffer with hybristophobia? They get sexual or romantic arousal from criminals. It’s the appeal of the “Bad Boy,” anpparently. Even murderers often doing a long jail sentence. From the Birdman to Ted Buddy, he had hundreds of admirers. Just goes to show that many women are wired.

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    • Women are mostly twats, alas.
      Always saying things along the lines of ‘I just want a nice guy’. By which they mean they want a nice guy (a cuckold, a simp)…to pay for stuff for them whilst they go off banging the afformentioned bad guys.
      Then they wonder why decent men are refusing to get married or even bother dating.
      Modern young women will grow into middle age, barren, childless, lonely, empty winebox-guzzling alkies, their only male companionship a cat who will eat their flesh when they die of cirrhosis aged 53.
      Unless they stop emasculating men and be less cunty to us.

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  7. Strange(ish) attractions?

    When the Slater family arrived in DeadEnders, most blokes fancied Kat the Slapper or her sister/daughter/whatver Zoe, or the other one (can’t remember her name right now).

    However, Little Mo was my personal choice. I saw the actress who played her on the theatre long before the TV role. It was a Shakespeare play, and she was very good. She was also way more sexy than her mouse-like Walford character. Pic from theatre production below…

    https://www.geocities.ws/nugentrussell/kacey06.jpg

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  8. Its whatever gets your motor running.

    What does it for you
    Might not do it for me.

    Each to their own.

    Barbara Streisand looked like a anteater with a perm.
    Omar Sharif rattled her bones.
    An he could have his pick.

    Dunno why Omar was so popular with the ladies?
    To me he looked like he should be behind the counter of a kebab shop
    Or drove a taxi in west Yorkshire.

    If someone makes your bean quiver or winky firm,
    Fair enough.

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      • They reckon world renowned fanny magnet and Hollywood swordsman Kris Kristofferson also had a ding dong with Streisand on the set of ‘A Star Is Born’. Brave man. The gorgeous Rita Coolidge or Linda Rondstadt, I can understand. But Streisand?!🤢

        Also, Harrison Ford did shag Carrie Fisher during the filming of The Empire Strikes Back. I wonder if he used the force or a Jedi mind trick?😉

        Sean Connery had Jill St John during Diamonds Are Forever. You jammy bastard, 007.

        And, a young Eric Stoltz – on the set of Mask – had a fling with the mid 80s Cher. Stout fellow. I’d have had a go at that myself.

      • Yeah Ron,
        I dont think i could rise to it.
        That beak of hers poking you in the eye while your giving it the vinegar strokes?

        Not my sort, but James Brolin likes her.

      • That Kris Kristofferson was one cool dude back in the day.
        Studied at oxford
        Flew helicopters in the army
        Worked as a fireman
        Played rugby
        Mates with Johnny cash
        Songwriter
        Actor
        Cocksman.

        R. I. P

      • Kris also married the stunning and talented Rita Coolidge.
        She was a magnificent woman in her prime.

      • Kris was a biker in the 1974 film ‘Bring me the Head of Alfredo Garcia.’ What a classic film that was.

  9. I confess I like women a lot. Just as well I guess since our kids are female. But the ones who really do it for me are the clever ones. Gillian Tett, provost of Kings, Cambridge, appears on the telly occasionally and in fact she was on there last night. She practically predicted the crash of 2008 a year before it happened but it seems none of the politicians took any notice. Perhaps because she is just a woman?

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gillian_Tett

    I don’t think its just my kink though. Remember how Alan Clark used to drool over Maggie Thatcher?

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  12. If you want strange attractions, those Beatle boys take some beating.

    John Lennon went from the tidy Cynthia to the devious howling horrendous oriental sea hag, Yoko Fucking Ono. Got a reprieve when he hooked up with the much nicer May Pang, but went willingly back to his gilded cage with Ono. He was besotted with Ono, for some insane reason. Probably some warped mummy issues (the daft cunt did call her ‘Mother’, well before Sean was even born). Lennon also had affairs (pre Ono) with 60s babes like Eleanor Bron and Joan Baez. So, how did his once impeccable taste go so so rapidly downwards?

    And, Paul McCartney? During the 60s, he was the premiere fanny magnet (alongside Brian Jones and George Best). Had his share of beauty pageant winners, models and the lovely Jane Asher (who he was going to marry). But he gives up the playboy lifestyle, Asher, and his shagging schedule for Linda Eastman. Not only that, there was no playing away as Wings toured, as Linda was with him every step of the way. Some way, some how, he was happy with that. The wife in his workplace and at home?! Now, that’s what I call strange.

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      • That ‘goth’ vamp look always did it for me.
        Fenella Fielding in Carry on screaming.
        Siouxie sioux, caroline jones as Morticia Addams..

        Too many Hammer films as a kid probably.
        But that Draculas a lucky lad.

      • Wholesome indeed.

        I find images of this ilk come in handy for a longer, more thoughtful tug. Admittedly, the imagination is called upon to do more of the heavy lifting, and if the plot goes on for too long there is a danger of one’s knob falling off, but the experience is a more tasteful one I feel. Providing nobody else is sat at the back of the bus.

    • STARMER YOU CUNT.

      GB IS BEING “COLONIZED” .

      YOUR MASTER THE BLAIR CREATURE STARTED IT.

      FAT JOHNSON ACCELERATED IT.

      YOU CONTINUE IT AT PACE..

      QUISLING GB HATING TWATS…!

      YOU WILL BE SORRY WHEN THE MUSLIM IS RUNNING DOWNING STREET..☠️

      Reply ↓

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