A first world problem perhaps, but the persistent use of certain words and expressions continues to drive me up the wall.
Politicians are bad for this; remember good ol’ Gordon Brown and his ‘hard-working families’? Well what about Local Government Secretary Steven Reed letting us know recently that the government is ‘minded’ to delay some mayoral elections until 2028? ‘Minded’ for fuck’s sake? This sounds like politico Newspeak from the 90s. I’m surprised the cunt didn’t say that there’s an ‘overarching’ need for the delay. Let me be clear on this; moving forward, it’s not a good look. The optics are awful.
Another bastard is when there’s some awful incident which leaves people in a bad way. I wish they’d just report that victims are in a serious or critical condition, but no; we always get the stupidly melodramatic ‘fighting for their lives’. Then when some figure who’s in the public eye pops their clogs, inevitably, ‘tributes pour in’. Really? To where, exactly? Oh, and when anybody has to say sorry for anything, the apology, we’re told, is always a ‘grovelling apology’.
Has anybody ever patronised you by promising to consider your point of view, when you know they couldn’t give a fuck? Maybe you’ve been at a work meeting or something when some HR pencilneck promised to ‘take that on board’, but of course you know they’ll forget it as soon as they’re out the door. I ‘literally’ used to die at that one. And I’ll bet that anyone reading this has at some point heard ‘no offence but…’. Yep, that person’s about to tell you that you’re a cunt.
Oh lord, fucking Americanisms. I loathe them, my bad. Come on dudes, I’m sure you can step up to the plate on this one. Get going already you guys. Turn a few nouns into verbs while you’re at it; wonder if there’s any chance that England might be able to medal at the next World Cup? We could work this up into a whole season.
So, so there you go. Let’s hear your own pet hate words and expressions. It’s deliverable. Be empowered by IsAC; it’s open 24/7, just reach out. Unpack it. Touch base. And merry Chrimbo while you’re at it. Amazeballs.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
I’m certain there’s only 13 phrases on that list Ron. I’ve counted it many times now, & thats annoying.
5
Great nom,
Here’s a few:
Conservative, Labour, Lib Dem, Green, Climate Change, Immigrant, police, National Health Service, British Broadcasting Corporation, General Practitioner, Home Office….
14
‘Pay a little more.’
That one gets my goat. First muttered by SNP when increasing income tax rates in Jockland and used by our own Rachel from accounts more recently.
Strangely, Sturgeon seemed reluctant to pay income tax on the over bloated fee she got for her insights on election night 📺 and Rachel and Rancid Angie were also unwilling to cough up dosh on their housing arrangements.
‘Pay a little more.’ Only applies to us peasants it would appear.
14
A similar one – “Give us ya fucking money!” Bob Geldof. From the Bands on the Bum tour of 1984.
10
English speaking people are notorious at being unable to speak any other languages.
I am convinced that is because they are too busy fucking up their own.
To speak this gobbledegook takes practice.
If the same practice was put into leaning another language then they would soon be fluent.
After giving some information to a potential customer here, he told me that he would ‘revert’.
I had no fucking idea what he was on about, but more to the point, neither did he.
To revert, as far as I was concerned, means to return to a previous state.
He was trying to be precocious by using the word to say that he would be replying to me.
The other cunt terms that I refuse to acknowledge are people who ‘are reaching out to me’.
People that want to ‘start a journey together’, but worst of all are people that use the phrase ‘thus far’.
What’s wrong with ‘this far’ or ‘so far’?
Pretentious cunts!
13
“Across the piece” and “we are where we are” are beloved of politicians. Both are completely meaningless.
6
It is what it is.
5
Afternoon TaC.
I speak English, bad English, Danish, Swedish and Norwegian.
I can also understand Flemish, Dutch, Icelandic and some German.
I am also a heavy user of thus far. 😁
4
Point is Artful if your first language is English you don’t need another language. I studied German for two years and I’ve got an ‘O’ level in French. I’ve been to both countries and never used a word of either language. When I was in the Netherlands with my Dutch mate the girls on the supermarket checkouts didn’t demur from switching to perfect English to accommodate me without any hint of annoyance.
2
Adding ‘so’ and ‘like’ unnecessarily:
‘I was like so couldn’t do that’.
Twats.
9
@major…aaaarrrgggghhhhh that’s the one SOOOOO wtf is that about….’what do you do in your spare time?’ …SOOO they answer 😩 SO DO FUCK OFF MORONS
6
Indeed GE and ‘It was like so amazing.’ Therefore it was not amazing but something similar.
2
Over the past decade or so it seems that everyone wants to use the word ‘so’ at the beginning of each sentence.
“So what do you do for a living?”
“So I am a…………”.
It never used to be like that and I wonder who introduced this bollocks and why.
14
Those cunts who start a kick in the genital area for being a cunt.
7
Start with so you cunt of a keyboard. FFS.
4
Iconic. That is the word that boils my piss, because according to the press everything/body is: Streeting is an iconic poofter, Alan Carr is an iconic poofter and Eddie Izzard is an iconic woman, not a confused poofter.
9
‘International law’ is becoming very annoying at the moment with every politician a fucking expert, the latest being Dame Emily Thornpiggy.
10
Starmer must have wet himself when he found out (on the news) that Donald extracted the president of Venezuela.
His head must have been spinning, what do I say, what do I say 😂
The latest bollocks to come out of the government, confiscating mobile phones from channel cunts, I guess they will be employing divers to retrieve them from the bottom of the channel
14
I think Kweer must hope that if an outside source takes him down it will be The Donald. If the Islam loving Labour pansies get caught by the militant Islamists, he will have to watch as half his cabinet get thrown off tall buildings. I’d love to see the Navy Seals get that bunch of wankers. Under Donald he will just go to prison for twenty years.
8
@soi…. the phone gimmick won’t make any difference…they get brand new ones anyway 😖…ring-a-ding-ding📳
6
The phrase ‘well good’ came in to being years ago and still pisses me off when I hear it.
Other annoying phrases
My bad
Right side of history
And anything that comes out of the mouths of politicians.
12
Can’t beat a ‘reset’, Soi.
8
Just heard another one on Wireless 4 “skin in the game” – another Kweer favourite. It is as pointless as sissy schoolteachers with their “at the chalkface” nonsense, trying to pretend they are as important as miners were.
6
The yanks should learn another language instead of ruining ours. I do my best at never having to listen to them, or read anything they may have grammatically misspelt and said wrongly.
8
Awesome
10
Check it out
4
Something else.
The cheque is in the post.
What do I win. Is it a load of bull shit ?
51
good job 👍
3
Cant think of any phrases or words that particularly irk me.
You see i dont really listen to people.
” for our gap year araminta and i went and canoed one of the tributaries of the Amazon to raise funds for Hope notHate..
Oh right.
We visited the tapsmami tribe.
Theyre dying out due to illegal logging companies, deforestation and poachers,
Have you ever been? ”
Yeah, i didnt like it.
I find people intensely boring and hardly ever worth listening to.
” this is james in 1992 he was wrongly accussed of murder.
Due to this miscarriage of justice he spent 20 years behind bars. ”
So, you work at Timpsons right?
Fuck off.
11
I dropped a few turds on your apostrophes when flushing the lavatory, Mis. Haven’t you any left. By the way. Why do the yanks always shit in the bathroom ?
4
All words and phrases we don’t use ourselves are annoying when others bring them up.
1
Your ears will prick up if you heard them say they’re going to fill you full of lead.
1
I could cunt on this indefinitely.
Who else can’t stand ‘crucial’, as in ‘England’s crucial qualifying game’?
What about ‘challenging’,’vulnerable’, ‘life limited’, ‘differently abled’ and ‘let go’?
Then there are bastard euphemisms; ‘romping’ (tabloidese for ‘shagging’). and ‘adult entertainment’ (‘porn’ to you and me).
Don’t get me started on women who refer to their other half as ‘hubby’.
Morning all.
7
You wouldn’t like Spanish then Ron.
Women here often refer to their husbands as ‘Mi media naranja’.
It translates as ‘my half orange’ but means ‘my better half’.
Annoying or what?
8
Half orange?
Bonkers.
6
Just to let you know that it’s not just English that is fucking wierd and annoying at times….
Estoy feliz como un lombriz.
(I’m happy as a worm) meaning you are very pleased about something.
No me toques los huevos.
(Don’t touch my bollocks)… Don’t wind me up.
¡Eres la leche!
(You are the spunk/milk)…. You are the best!
La puta madre.
(The whore mother) but often used when something is really good.
¡Tienes un coche de la puta madre!
You have a fucking cool car!
Tres en un burro.
(three (people) on a donkey).
When you can’t see something.
¡No veo tres en un puto burro!
I’m as blind as a fucking bat.
Some phrases to try on your holidays.
5
Ni fu ni fa.
No translation to this.
It means ‘I can take or leave it’.
How was your meal sir?
‘Ni fu ni fa’
Sin un duro.
A duro was an old, almost worthless coin.
Your bill, sir.
‘Estoy sin un puto duro’
I’m fucking skint.
2
I wonder what Jess Phillips would say about “Mr. Phillips”. Cunt?, Rapist? Pegging Partner?. Eunoch?
4
I’ll deal with you later, Ron. Just taking the piss.
When a man says “the wife” it always makes me think he doesn’t like her, when he should be polite with “my wife”.
2
There appears to be a subset of the English language, much favoured by politicians, HR departments, higher echelons of the civil service and an assorted collection of pointless wankery occupations.
I have given this subset the name fuckwittery bollocks, the main purpose of this subset is to provide users with the ability to sound as if they know what they are talking about, answer embarrassing questions in a manner which satisfy the sound bite though the answer given is meaningless, line their own pockets, make themselves look half clever. May the God of herpes ensure their nether regions are heavily infested. Bastards
6
The one that superheats my piss to plasma is referring to men and women as guys. Cunts who do this should be kicked in the bollocks for being cunts.
14
Me also, CuntyMort. You’re a good bloke.
5
Cheers Sammy, I do try.
2
So, one that springs to my mind is :
Bullshit baffles Brain’s.
In my lifetime the above, then as now applies to %90 of all managerial/ gaffer appointments.
Great examples of course being the house of commons..!
5
Why don’t the hamshanks learn a language of their own, or should we start speaking in Cockney rhyming slang again to confuse the cunts like we did with the prison wardens.
4
It’s an outrage, innit? The way English has gone down the shitter since Chaucerian, and more recently, Shakespearean times…
4
There was a marvellous use of English reported by John Aubrey in Brief LIves. Apparently Walter Rayleigh’s son couldn’t stand his father (I hope you are listening Starmer junior). At a very important dinner Rayleigh’s son said loudly to him “I this morning went to a whore, I was eager for her and went to enjoy her, but she said I should not – for – she said – “I lay with your father but an hour ago”.
I wonder how that would go down at the next State banquet.
4
That antidote for the mind-numbing boredom of the good old monthly team meeting – bullshit bingo – throws up many.
Blue sky thinking.
Park that.
Thinking outside the box.
One for the back burner.
To mention but a few.
How I loathed ( and still do ) corporate speak.
10
I had a bollocking for using the term bullshit bingo at a team brief once. Gave the boys a right laugh though.
Thank fuck I have now retired and do not have to tolerate this now.
6
The use of “Hi” instead of Dear Mr… or Dear Sir gets my goat when I see it on letters or emails from organisations with whom I only have dealings with on a business level e.g. gas / electric boards, council office, internet / phone providers etc.
6
‘Fixing the Foundations’, ‘More money in your pocket’ but then we have Tea lady Rachel’s ‘Asking people to pay a little bit more’.
The only phrase I have for Labour is ‘Fuck off you cunts’.
12
Asking? Forcing more like.
5
Along with 90 odd percent of the population.
1
People that start a sentence ( TO BE FAIR )
It’s fucking meaningless to what there on about 🤬
6
Farage says “ THATS FOR THE BIRDS “ A lot
4
Does he, FF?
Can’t say I’ve noticed. Bet I will now.
4
Yeah Sammy.
He says it often.
Stale bread? Thats for the birds!
Trill? That’s for the birds!
Whys that scarecrow in that field?
Thats for the birds!
Like his catchphrase or something.
6
Also “can I smoke in here?” and “when does the pub open?”.
3
‘Get that message out there’ Fuck off.
Introducing someone by saying ‘Give it up for…’ Give what up precisely?
‘Smash that like button’ Grrrrr
6
Whilst the hamshanks continue to bastardise our language, they deserve all the ridicule they get when also altering our ladies sports to suit their own means.
5
I’m not gonna lie, I take this site very seriously, it’s legendary…
8
LitRaLeeee diabolical
4
“Our plan for Britain is a fully costed, fully funded, credible plan to turn the country around”..
A lot if words there,spoken by a true cunt.
Take your pick,it’s all shit.
Oven.
9
Uni-ted sack a manager I never heard speak.
3
Phrases i dislike most
Diversity is our strenth..
Its a cancer.
Diversity has poisoned this country.
Dont look back in anger..
The most insipid cowardly lyrics of all time.
Your kids blown to bits in a arena,
Dont get upset!
Together we’re stronger..
Fuck off!
Im strong enough,
What you really mean is you get by on my hard work you lazy cunt.
And
Community leader
Ie. Race grifter gobshite.
12
Flawless Mis. agree on all points.
4
“Reach out” instead of “contact” is one of my current annoyances. I cannot fathom how or why that one caught on.
Something that’s been with us for a while now isn’t a word or phrase so much as a fucking speech impediment. Arseholes who up talk. People who raise the pitch of their voice at the end of a sentence as if everything is a fucking question. Drives me mental.
I am forced to work (remotely thank the lord) with a bunch of smelly Indian cunts. Don’t get me started on their fucked up English. Do the bloody needful, FFS. I hate all of them. It’s that simple.
9
Afternoon IY.
Back in the Biden administration they had a White House press secretary called Jen Psaki who became infamous for her smoke and mirrors non-answers by continually saying “I’ll circle back”. It was a masterclass in obfuscation and bullshit aided of course by the sycophantic US liberal media. It kind of summed up Biden’s presidency though of going around in circles.
3
Yes, I despise the inflection your neighbours speak, Immigration. Think it came via the Aussies and it also as the feeling of uneducated nervousness. If I lived in hamshankland I’d either end up in prison or murdered.
4
The use of the word “ literally “ to describe something that someone did, when they didn’t need to.
“ I literally went over there and gave him a talking to “.
It’s also used many times in a sentence to describe normal activity. My sister is a cunt for doing that, and I take the piss out of her on the phone.
“ Butt dial” for when you inadvertently call someone when you’ve forgotten to lock the screen on the phone.
Fucking butt dial? How the fuck can you make a call with your arse?
6
The adverb, actually makes me want to commit a crime, CS, but now slightly on the decline of late.
2
And don’t get me started on “ can I get”.
I was once in Exeter chatting to the landlord of a pub, when a young couple walked in.
“ yeah, can I get a cider”.
The landlords face changed quickly.
“ you can GET the fuck out of my pub . Quality response.
13
Which pub were you in CS? That’s down my neck of the woods.
2
It was the Poachers in Ide. Great pub. The landlord isn’t there now, he was a big bloke, and a grumpy cunt but I got on great with him.
He did the meals too. A group of people walked in just before evening meals finished. They all were fussy cunts asking the waitress if they could swap this for that etc. All I could hear from the kitchen was” tell them fat bastards they’re getting what’s written on the fucking menu”.
My kind of bloke. Met the members of Mumford and Sons band randomly in there.
0