are cunts.
There’s (sort of) good news and there’s bad news as England’s cricketers stumble about on the 2025-26 Ashes tour in Australia.
The (sort of) good news? Well they’ve actually gone and won a test match in Oz for the first time in what seems like about a hundred years. Hoo-fucking-rah, let’s light the fireworks and break open the champers.
The bad news? The match was the fourth of five in the series, and of course the Aussies are already out of sight, having rogered England good and proper in the first three, thereby having the Ashes in the bag and their tinnies open before Christmas.
This win therefore is worth about as much as the thin end of the square root of fuck all in the scheme of things. Naturally it’ll be lauded as a win which means that the utter humiliation of a series whitewash is avoided, as though that’s some sort of victory in itself. But it’s all too little too late, as they’ve already embarrassed themselves and the rest of us with their ineptitude. Yes, it’s much too little, much too late. The Aussies have got the bragging rights again, and boy, will they let us know it.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
Something I used to enjoy, sitting at lord’s in the sun slowly getting drunk, watching a test match.
Now that’s fucked with these reckless animals playing like toddlers, after eating bag after bag of haribos.
Swinging at everything like a drunken arsehole at 2am in a kebab shop.
Bazball, spàzbàll more like.
6
Stokes needs to grow a pair. Bring back Harold Larwood and knock a few heads off. That’ll teach the uppity convicts.
5
Stokes is a cunt and needs a nom of his own, just for being a ginger twat.
2
What a complete shambles and a waste of time. Crawley should’ve been dropped, only there wasn’t anyone to replace the lackadaisical cunt and the short arsed partner at the other end wasn’t up to much. I myself can’t be arsed to go through the rest of the team of shite.
3
I am surprised the fucking pant pissing Aussies have lifted the covids lockdown so soon.
Good morning, everyone.
3
Remember going shopping with a girlfriend in a London clothing shop in the mid nineties and found one area a complete shambles of a mess and was told that the Australian cricket team had been in. Merv Hughes was the main culprit. Say no more.
3
Great player. It was a pleasure to watch Merv verbally and physically abusing pathetic English public schoolboy batsmen in the late 1980s and early 90s.
11
David Boon reportedly went on an epic bender on the return flight to Oz after an Ashes series.
Having drunk the plane dry he then got started on the kerosene in the fuel tanks.
3
It would appear that they have forgotten how to play the long form,and truest,part of cricket.
Very poor show indeed.
Good morning.
3
Test cricket has been sacrificed. The county game is the breeding ground for test cricketers. It doesn’t make any money, the only people who are at all interested are retired old farts, such as myself. How much county cricket is being played in high summer, June, July and August this year? Fuck all. The obsession with the short version of the game, including the ridiculously overhyped 100, has killed test cricket in this country.
3
The once great summer game of cricket is fucked in this country. It’s no suprise to those of us that follow the game that the Aussies handed us our arses on a plate. Again.
The sports governing body (like all others) has sold out to the great god of money. The games only been played in private schools and local clubs for the last 30 years and has no way of reaching the untapped potential that soccer does.
5 day test cricket will cease to be within the next 20years, but truth be told the ECB don’t actually give a shit.
The contrived ‘’100’ bollocks is what the powers that be see as the future. A game of bat and ball for an audience with
no mental capacity to understand the ebb and flow of a test match and the attention span of a gnat.
It’s all part of the great replacement. Country Cricket is far too white, probably racist and certainly not DEI enough.
Think I’m joking take a look at the ‘100’ franchises. All sold to Indian investors. I think they’ve announced one of the team names as the Manchester Mumbai Super Elephants. FFS.
The days of Lancashire, Surrey, Nottinghamshire County Cricket Clubs are soon to be gone.
Morning all.
6
I don’t care what’s happening to the game, so long as it stays white. I’m drawn to it all the more after being fed up with all the black cunts fucking up the football. Cricket is being shown for free on the internet in empty stadiums and again pleased for not having to view ugly cunts waving at the cameras.
4
I do prefer the real lengthy version of cricket in whites. The short game is for the likes of yanks who don’t have any patience. That’s why they only join wars in the latter stages and need add breaks in films. Just like children.
3
I remember when the last World Cup was held there. They wanted each game to be split into four quarters, to make way for more ad breaks on tv.
Cunts.
2
O/T but if you think things couldn`t get any worse in Gazaland, I give you the One True Messiah! …
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c07xv92vrz2o
We are delivered!
🛐
5
Blair… as fine an example as any that shit really does rise to the top. I hope he lives to see the new regime of the future, under which he will be tried for crimes against Britain, publicly flogged and then hanged to death.
1
Slightly O.T, but I was pissed off watching “The Masters” yesterday afternoon.Two Chinky players, and the score was 6 – 0. This was because the older of the two cunts who cooks and cleans for the other player made fuck all effort. For example, there was an easy shot to middle left for the blue – no obstructions whatsoever and he was only about 3 feet from the pocket. He gave the cue such an effete little tap (even Streeting could have managed better) and of course the ball stopped short of the pocket by a margin.
I am convinced that game was thrown – did anyone else see it?. Never trust a Chinky, with snooker – or embassies.
3
Strange about our preferences, W.C. I’ve never taken to the game of floG.
1
I hope Kyren Wilson gets rid of the one remaining zipper head today.
There were a fair few too many of the charmless, starved looking cunts in this years Masters.
When this Wu Yize character picks up his cue, the cunt is so skinny that it’s difficult to tell which is which.
2
After winning the fourth test somehow, our boys down under truly reverted to type and got stuffed again in the fifth test, the Aussies having decided to get out of bed again. There’s a surprise.
Australia 4, England 1. Fuck off.
Morning all.
5
The real game of cricket, Ron, was ruined by the one day slog. We need more Boycott’s. Laker’s and Close’s.
2
To quote the great Fred Truman; ‘in maaaah day…’
I’ll add Ray Illingworth to your list Sammy. He wouldn’t give the Aussies a stinking cold.
And Kenny Barrington.
1
The whinging Convicts can only win when they cheat, or we have a shite team.
As far as we know, the Convicts didn’t cheat this time.
“awww, fack yeeee. We bin hangin’ shit on yous”
1
‘Got all ya kit mate? Cap, sunglasses, sun cream, sandpaper…’
1
Cricket..😴
1
I’ve never really got cricket myself.
Used to play as a kid and all but just wasn’t really for me.
I know that’s practically blasphemy to some folk but it’s just never appealed in the same way as a lot of other sporting pass times do.
Especially the long format.
But as an English gentleman, I do understand and appreciate Test Cricket’s place in our wonderful culture.
What I would say though is that in an era where attention spans are measured in minutes and seconds, there’s next to fuck all chance of any modern day youngsters embracing a game that can last 5 days.
11
I remember trying to explain cricket to a Texan when visiting Galveston some years ago now.
He simply couldn’t get his around the fact that you could play for four or five days and end up without a definite outcome for one side or the other.
Mind you, he took me to watch a game of American football. Fucking hell, I’ve absolutely no clue what that shite’s all about…
3
I remember reading, years ago, an ex England player saying it was easier to get in the England team than get out of it.
Providing you had the right background, of course.
Which reminded me of a story my father told me.
He had an elder brother who was a very good fast bowler.
The local cricket club chairman saw him playing with his mates one day and asked my father who he was.
‘He’s my brother’ he replied.
‘Bloody hell! He’s good. What school does he go to?’ He asked.
My father told him, and the his reply was, ‘Ah. Pity’. And swiftly fucked off.
I would imagine it’s not much different nowadays.
And therein lies the problem and the difference between us and the Aussies.
3