Meghan Markle’s “Holiday Celebration” TV Special


“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s media correspondent Ron Knee reporting. As the great Jane Austen puts it, ‘it is a truth universally acknowledged that a z-list celebrity in possession of a tv show must be in want of an audience’. Never was this truer than in the case of perennial IsAC favourite Meghan, Duchess of Nutfux.

Now we can all agree that Markle has the personality of a coffin, is about as likeable as a dog turd, and as authentic as a nine bob note. But I’ll grant her one thing. She doesn’t lack persistence, even when it’s clearly the persistence of the increasingly desperate. This leads me to her latest effort, her seasonal special ‘With Love, Megan; Holiday Celebration’, which I’ve watched to spare fellow cunters the grief. You can thank me later.

So what’s this all about? Well, our delightful duchess has had a couple of ‘seasons’ with a sort of lifestyle guru show called ‘With Love, Meghan’. You know the drill. .It’s pretentiously billed as (get this) ‘a blend of how to’s and candid conversations with friends new and old. Meghan shares tips and tricks, and highlights how easy it can be to create beauty, even in the unexpected’ burble blah. Filming for the two ‘seasons’ took place in Spring of 2024, with the ‘special’ being tagged on as a sort of afterthought at the end, so it’s been on the shelf for a while.

Unsurprisingly the series bombed in the ratings, and the ‘special’ shares all the same problems which caused the failure. It’s biggest drawback is an utter lack of authenticity. It’s setting is domestic, kitchen and garden, and it’s implied that it’s in the Snarkles’ own house in Monteshitshow. Except that it’s not. It’s a rented property nearby. Then you’ve got the d-list guests who turn up in the show ( no Oprahs or Taylor Swifts), desperately awkward as they try to look as though they’re Markle’s buddies for the camera, or even that they give a fuck for anything other than the cheque they’ll collect to compensate for the embarrassment.

Worse is Markle’s utter tone deafness, as trills in that smarmy voice how the time of year is all about ‘the importance of family, finding time to connect to the people we love’. Yeah, like the father, brother, sister, first husband, and all the ‘friends’ she’s dumped as she social mountaineers her way upwards, not to mention her husband’s family of course. It’s all syrupy platitudes about ‘warmth and luuurve’, Meghan style.

Could things get any worse? Well yes. As the ‘special’ unfolds, we sink into a sea of banality as Megsie (and guests) lift the lid on the previously utterly unfathomable mysteries of Xmastime preparation, such as how to put the lights on your tree, and wrap a gift, and prepare a fucking salad (duh!). She even tells us how to season a turkey with er, salt and pepper, and manages to fuck even this up in the process by keeping her jewellery on, earning the disparaging nickname ‘Salmonella Sussex’ in the meeja. The final cringe comes when, in a flailing attempt to add a bit of panache, Harry turns up (‘I smell gumbo!’) and bizarrely, Migraine thanks him for coming, emphasising again that they’re not actually in their own house.

So to summarise; it’s as though someone in the production team has deliberately gone out of their way to make this effort as inauthentic, insincere and uninspiring as possible; a ratings car crash to give Nutfux the excuse they need to discontinue future funding of ‘With Love, Meghan’. And honestly, it’s so trite and contrived that it doesn’t even constitute a good hate watch, merely a guaranteed cure for insomnia.

I’ll leave the final judgement to that doyen of newspapers, our very own ‘Groaniad’, whose critic flamed it thus; ‘she’s back! Take as many anti-emetics as medically advisable, then assume the crash position’. Er, thanks Meghan, don’t call us, we’ll call you. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”

YouTube.

Nominated by : Ron Knee

72 thoughts on “Meghan Markle’s “Holiday Celebration” TV Special

  1. It sounds so appalling shite and rammed full of cunts that I think I might watch it.

    After a bottle of red and some port.

    Just in case.

    Good morning.

  2. Excellent cunting Ron. I’ve been fortunate enough in life to have never seen this useless tart on the telly. I am truly blessed.
    The only evidence I have for how stupid this woman is, is that she was impersonated in the comedy “ The Windsors”, which, in my opinion, was fucking hilarious.
    Good tidings to all .

  3. Eventually everyone will smell the coffee and dump her.
    Then to fund her lavish lifestyle she’ll have to rent out Lilibet to Great Uncle Andrew.

    Meghan, Duchess of Epstein Island.

  4. I think Andrew Windsor’s Xmas Surprises might be more uplifting (Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) Limited have volunteered to film them). Nubile young women with pneumatic breasts and sexy suspender belts getting up to acts of appalling depravity, involving a latex rocking horse and lots of whips and PVC. The rape scene with Jess Phillips and Greta Thunberg merely provides comic relief. You shouldn’t try it at home.

  5. Thanks Ron, the trailer tells me all I need to know i.e. another programme to avoid like the plague. I find this to be the main use of trailers, from seeing them on television I know that I shouldn’t waste precious remaining minutes of my life watching the utter shite they are peddling. Speaking of which, did anyone else waste life watching the film “Challengers” the other night as I confess I did to my eternal shame? What’s the difference between that film and a bucket of shit? That’s right, the bucket. An old joke but seems a perfect fit.

  6. It would be nice if everyone just shut the fuck up for Christmas.
    That includes the jug eared Islamic cock slurper king, robot Rodney the charisma bypass.

    Even that fat retard Ed davey is banging on about the trafalgar square Christmas tree being mocked.
    Yeah it’s being mocked because the greasy brown pàki mayor hates Christmas, and has used decorations from a pàki poundshop.

    Force your wretched personalities on your family’s, who i imagine despise you like everyone else does.

    • Ed could buy some better decorations for the tree using some of the money he got for putting someone’s granny who worked at the post office in prison.

      The ridiculous smirking cunt.

      • I think we should show a bit of seasonal goodwill and cut Ed a bit of slack Unk.

        The poor fool’s still trying to figure out whether or not a woman can have a cock. He gets a bit confused these days.

      • The gurning cunt can’t see a publicity opportunity go by without jumping on it. “Look I’m concerned” (now that everybody else has shown the way).
        A v close second to the moron of Downing street.

  7. Firstly I thought I’d let you know that I’ve only ever seen this person subliminally, by having the knack of avoiding her immediately and obviously I won’t have heard her utter a single word. I must be one of the few people to achieve this. It’s a thing I do so often with people I have a feeling of nonentity. The list is endless.

    • I shall also be doing the same within the next week or two until all this made up shenanigans are over. The only true thing I witnessed recently was the Winter Solstice.

    • The wife absolutely loathes her in the way that only women can hate on each other;

      ‘the smarmy cow’s fifty if she’s a day. Tits like a couple of walnut whips, fat arse and sparrow legs. Everything she wears looks like a sack on her. About as likeable as a rattlesnake’ etc etc.

      The invective is astonishing.

  8. What amazes me about Markle is just how utterly phony she is. Everything about her seems to be a construct, as though she’s reinvented her whole life and is intent on convincing us all that it’s true. Actress, lifestyle guru, model, writer, royal, entrepreneur, socialite, content creator, philanthropist, and mutherrr… the new Dame Edna in fact.

    She’s a gift to cunters that just keeps on giving.

    Morning all.

  9. How on earth did our parents and grandparents manage to produce a Christmas dinner or Boxing Day spread before the advent of smug tv ‘chefs’?
    It’s bad enough when they’re simply food writers who got lucky, but being lectured by this brazen, gold digging slapper takes the piss.
    If I wanted advice on family or food, she’s the absolute last person I’d ask.
    How’s your idiot husbands attempts at rebuilding the relationship with his family that you were instrumental in destroying?

    • Perhaps the worst aspect of this whole shallow fiasco is when Migraine warbles on about ‘the importance of family, finding time to connect with the people we love’.

      Yeah, well how about ‘connecting’ with your poor old dad, whose lying half dead in the Philippines? What about the rest of the family?
      What about your husband’s family, who you’ve successfully alienated? They’re not going to be surrounding you on Christmas Day are they?

      The hypocrisy of the woman is nauseating.

  10. I have an idea for a new series from this pair of grifters.

    Home Hero Harry.

    Episodes will cover…….
    How to change a head gasket on a Ford Cortina.
    How to unblock your toilet.
    How to te-tile your bathroom.

    He will be just as convincing as she is with her house keeping tips.

    They will be back in the UK before long.
    Their lifestyle is not sustainable and as they get older they will be forgotten by the American public.

    The jug eared, cretinous King will die and his brother will give him another chance.

    A peaceful and happy Christmas fellow Cunter’s.

    • Happy Christmas TaC and a happy Christmas to cunters everywhere.

      I have my Dad over today for Christmas lunch, so will be cooking for most of the day.

      • Theres somethings worse than watching this tripe,
        Sharing a cell with Russell Brand?
        Sharing a cell with a palestine action hunger striker?
        Phil Neville at Christmas dinner?.

        But not by much.

        This half chat narcissist and empty headed mummy’s boy expect us to believe she spends her time baking in the kitchen?
        You have a chef.
        And servants.
        What the fuck are they doing?

        Your wasting your time.
        I wouldnt eat anything some vacant brown cunt had cooked.
        Last time was some crack cocaine rocks Whitney Houston knocked up.

        No wonder Bobby Brown kicked the shit out of her.
        Daft bitch.

      • Hey Mis, I’d happily share a cell with a Palestine Action hunger striker

        Double helpings every other day.

        Yum yum.

  11. With this time of year being the longest to endure, I shall soon be going off into Suspended Animation. I’ve left details with a colleague to answer all relevant comments in the meantime.

  12. I got as far as “Embracing traditions” and turned off seeing as this came from a woman who has driven a snow plough through the royal family and continues to attempt to reverse over them.

    Nigella, well that’s the only cooking program that is worth it!

    https://youtu.be/o6DXz0MZP0E?si=MyjkC7PYhvVF2zXn

    Getting old is a bastard, especially when you reacquaint yourself with someone that you have soiled so many tissues over.

  13. I do feel some sympathy for “A”, all alone this xmas.
    So how about all cunters club together with me and let`s by him an “appropriate” gift.
    My thought is an inflatable doll.
    🎈

  14. Tis almost a Yuletide miracle, the ability to conjure cash from fuck all, God bless.
    Well worth watching if the institution you reside in allows tv!

  15. If this psychotic attention whore worst royal in history narcissist ever taints my festive telly, I will probably do an Elvis Presley. Which means shooting a loaded Revolver at the screen.

    And, e-mails from ‘A’ from Balmoral to Madame Maxwell about finding ‘inappropriate friends’….. Doesn’t take a lot of working out, does it?🤔

    • Hi, Norman.

      Recently I inferred you to be merely pulling pigtails when you referred ro Greta Whatsherface (in five consecutive posts) as

      *ahem*..

      A repulsive rubber faced gremlin

      A fat little bastard

      A little Gargoyle

      A little spaz

      A mong.

      However, I hereby wish to ruefully withdraw all such accusations of a cunter whom ‘doth protest too much’.

      I mean, I should have saved it for a fair proportion of the post-ers above, in this thread.. 😄

      oh! and below, as well, I see …

      🤔

      • Greta’s ‘love’ of Palestinians makes me hate her even more, Cuntemall.

        And, why would the North Koreans and Chinese be so upset if the pig tailed gargoyle got shot? Losing one of their best employees probably.

  16. Well pleased, as a friend and fellow dialysis patient dropped off a big huge fuck off bottle of Three Barrels brandy at the Norman Fort this morning.

    Gave her a couple of bottles of Asti Spumante, as I know she loves the stuff.

  17. Mrs Norman has a passionate dislike of Megain Mantis.
    Her words on the subject….

    ‘Only brain dead woke loonies, and a gullible oedipal mummy’s boy like Harry would ever be fooled by this snake with tits.’

  18. If you think Smegan Markell is a cunt .
    You had all better brace yourselves for king of Halitosis and look into my eyes Zacky boy Polanski,s Christmas message .
    This pervy clown has the most punchable face in the Uk if not the whole world

    • What a silly mare, Norman. Eating with earplugs sounds worse than listening to other’s. Bet she doesn’t use the plugs when being banged from behind and enjoying a cock slurping in and out of her snatch.

      I have misophonia, but fortunately living alone I can simply fuck things right off without hesitation.

  19. She should shut the fuck up. In fact all of them should. Imam Charlie, adolescent Andy, Hapless Harry and William who can’t keep his Willy under control allegedly. Wooden Ed keeps out of the spotlight so maybe he should be king.

    A monarchy works of it’s fairly aloof and opens the occasional bridge but when it’s sharing the pages of hello magazine with Katie Price what’s the fucking point.

    Charlie tries to distance himself from the cunt formerly known as a prince but was need buds with marathon fiddler Jimmy.

    Maybe you better work harder Meg, you might be supporting the lot of them.

    • Best King we ever had was Edward VII.👑

      Lifted years of Victorian gloom. Was well liked, had the common touch. Was one of the lads and a premier gold standard ladies man. He also had some top cigars named after him. Stout fellow, top monarch.

      Harry actually had some of Edward VII’s qualities when he was younger. Then it all went tits sky when he met the American Adder.

      • Edward VIII, on the other hand, was a cunt. Crawled around Hitler’s jacksie, while married to a septic tank trannie. Wallace was like a prototype Megain. Only with a moustache.

  20. Just seen some recent ‘news’….
    Ed Sheercunt reveals ‘six pack’.

    Doesn’t alter his face though, does it?
    He’s still the ugliest yokel carrot crunching cunt in christendom.

    • I don’t know how that dim cunt Hazbeen puts up with it, listening to Markle gobbing off with that West Coast psychobabble word salad, in that smarmy voice.

      I’d have long since offed myself rather than endure that I reckon.

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