The Ignorance of French drivers

Posted on by

 

The Ignorance of French drivers.
She who will be obeyed and I went to Belgium for a few days. Driving through a smallish village we encountered a cunt trying and succeding to be a complete bellend.
He was at a junction and tried to exit the junction, I slammed the anchors on blocking the junction, Matey meanwhile was still fucking trying to occupy the space reserved by my front wing.
Realising that this would lead to a good kick in the gonads he stayed stationary. Due to a time honoured English custom towards the French during our occaisional disputes with said French types

Less than 300 metres later he overtook us like a bat out of hell ignoring the posted 30 km/h speed limit

A day later another wanker tried overtaking on the same stretch of road, again ignoring the 30km/h speed limit this time nearly taking out some poor cow on the opposite side of the road, narrowly missing us and the other woman. Bearing in mind it is a no overtaking zone as well.

In conclusion I would advise avoiding Bray Dunes at all costs. Imagine the hills have eyes set in France.

Much safer to go via Adinkirke. For those enquiring minds, yes beer brought and some baccy supplies as well.

Nominated by CuntyMort.

77 thoughts on “The Ignorance of French drivers”

  1. It would come as no surprise at all to learn these French “drivers” are at the wheel whilst also checking their phones for the latest prices of onions on a string,baguettes,snails in garlic and white flags.

    And in the case of Le President checking to see when the British Prime Minister is next popping over for a bumming.

    By his wife.

    Dear me and sacre bleu!

    Oven.

    Reply ↓

  2. It’s true.
    Forget Pákís, the French are the worst drivers by far.

    You probably don’t get many of them coming to the UK in their cars, but here they are everywhere.

    At this time of year the fuckers bring their mobile homes and park anywhere they can for a cheap holiday.
    There must be at least 20 mobile homes only a few hundred meters from Casa Cunter at the moment.

    They will stay until the police can be bothered to fuck them off.

    If we see a car with French plates we keep our distance.
    The drivers have no awareness of what is round them.
    They change lanes for no fucking reason and stop unnecessary on fast roads, either because they are lost or they want to admire the view and take photos.

    It’s rare to see a French plated car that isn’t dented or scratched.
    They have no idea how to park either.

    Reply ↓

  3. Was he ‘french’ French or ‘new’ French?
    Even out here in the picturesque west country, there are plenty of spooks driving around with no skill, situational awareness or understanding of vehicle dynamics.
    And if they’ve got a proper UK driving licence, I’m a Lammy’s uncle.
    Going through Lechlade at 6:45 this morning, I saw a fucking black female simian wearing a leopard print coat and almost puked on my dashboard.
    They’re literally everywhere.

    Reply ↓

    • Remind me to never invite you round to Odin towers.

      You will have puked yourself inside out in the time it takes to park the car and walk up to the front door.

      Reply ↓

  5. If you think the snail munchers are bad drivers you want to try driving in Italy.

    Eyetye drivers all think they’re Riccardo Patrese.

    Three feet from the car in front at 70mph is the norm.

    Reply ↓

  6. Not sure why you’re surprised by this Cuntymort?

    Its to do with frogs and Belgium bumboys being effete.
    Not really their fault.
    See, they have ducky wrists.
    Makes steering a nightmare.
    Plus theyre normally still over the limit.

    Best drivers in the world?
    English. FACT.
    ( white English obviously)
    All the world’s best drivers were English.
    Yanks are OK
    But boast about it.

    Aussies are ok too.
    Often driving a 500 mile round trip to the shops for a loaf of bread.

    Ps
    Youd move nearer the shops wouldn’t you?
    Or bake your own bread.
    Dont even need a oven its that hot.
    Just leave it outside to bake.

    No wonder we sent them there.
    Thick as fuck.

    Reply ↓

  7. It’s a long time since I drove in France, the peripherique was an education in French driving.

    Driving into London via the old Kent road was an education in ethnic driving.

    The second one was like Monty python, the first like Bullitt

    Reply ↓

  8. Thomas, the cunt looked French, EG stinking of garlic and BO. The cunt must have been late for work or pegging his lady/rent boy, or a bit of stiff shagging. A cunt at any time of the year. Branleurs all.

    Reply ↓

  9. Worst drivers are the chinks.
    Half blind.
    You show me a 4ft 6in yellow squinting Bucktoothed spy ill show you someone who cant do a point turn.

    Useless.

    People say
    “Oooh theyre very clever people.
    They invented gunpowder you know? ”

    Aye, by accident.
    They also eat bats.

    Reply ↓

    • I suppose the fuzzy-wuzzies are top car thieves. It’s a question really, Mis, as you know I’m a two wheeler. I only had an accident when I was young on my tricycle. It was due to my father putting a nail to keep a back wheel on and bent it to stop it coming off. It was the reason why I caught a girl with it and it embedded itself into her leg. An ambulance was called and they had to carry her and the tricycle to the hospital to remove it. I’d already bugged off by then like children did with fright.

      Reply ↓

    • Believe me when I say that the rinky dinks are not very bright at all.

      Paying fortunes for shit new build flats in dodgy areas and walking around with their face buried on their phone, oblivious to what’s going in 3′ in front of them.

      They deserve to have their phone snatched by the diversity for being so stupid.

      They also deserve to have their ground rent and service charge doubled year on year for buying a new build rabbit hutch and thinking it’s an asset.

      Reply ↓

      • Indeed Odin, Reykjavik was crawling with the yellow cunts walking about with their phones in front of their faces, probably receiving instruction from commie central. They also had a handler telling them where to go.

      • This is a common sight wherever you are now. London, Funchal, Copenhagen, Stockholm.

        Always with some cunt leading them by holding an umbrella high in the air, so the little yellow bastards don’t get lost and then diversified.

      • I enjoy these mobile phone zombies getting splattered, or tossed in the air on YNC. Especially on an iPad with precise finger adjustment to within a gnats dicky of death.

        I familiarise it with these silly football offsides being tighter within a gnats crack.

      • “Where’s the scenic Icelandic waterfall?” asked her at the time.
        “It’s over there.”
        “How do you know that?”
        “It’s where all the gooks are crowded.”

      • Same the little mermaid in Copenhagen, Major.

        One busload of umbrella led dog scoffers gets off the coach, takes stupid photo, gets back on the coach and then the next umbrella led coachload of.flu spreaders gets off. Rinse and repeat.

    • Tried to teach a Taiwanese lad how to drive my manual subie. Took him on a long quiet backroad. Let’s say it took many hours and an alarming amount of bunny hopping as he vainly groped with his foot for the clutch. No concept of sweet spot or balance. Sweat pouring off his face, it exhausted him 😅

      Yet he tells me, back home as a squaddie in national service he drove the regiment armoured personnel carrier. Must have been fluidrive or auto or something.

      Reply ↓

    • Put an actual Chinese professor in a manual LandCruiser fire unit once. Good strong truck. Poked him trembling into the cockpit and said off you go.

      We sat on the hill with beers and watched him teach himself lurching around the paddock by hops bumps and jerks. It was the best entertainment.

      Reply ↓

  10. We probably see more nationalities driving here that any other country.
    It’s strange how their driving habits differ.

    The French are unpredictable and fucking dangerous.

    Belgians are aggressive and want to drive quicker than anyone else.
    If you are in the fast lane on a motorway and driving at the speed limit, you can bet that the cunt racing up behind you is in a Belgian car.

    Germans are of course, arrogant.
    They will never give way to anyone and will purposely make things difficult for other drivers.

    Italians are nut cases, with no sense of self preservation.

    The British (sorry!) think that they are good drivers, but they really aren’t.
    Because of the steering wheel being on the wrong side they always drive too close to the centre of our roads.
    They give way unnecessary instead of looking in their mirrors and seeing there is no cars being them.
    They stop at crossings to let pedestrians cross the road, even when it’s dangerous to.
    They are not used to how slippery Spanish roads are after a very rare rainfall. Because the roads in Britain are constantly wet they think they have more grip here than they actually have.
    And of course they sometimes revert to driving on the left and going round roundabouts the wrong way.

    The Dutch and Portuguese are generally OK and of course Spanish drivers are the best.

    Thankfully we have no Pákís here.

    Reply ↓

  11. Slippery roads in Spain?
    I expected as much.

    Probably greasy motorways too no doubt!!

    Cant beat good old British hardtop
    Artie.
    Greatest tarmac in the world 🇬🇧

    Reply ↓

  12. Our local bar overlooks the beach.
    You will be fortunate to find a parking space, but if there is ever one, no matter how tight, someone will try to squeeze into it.

    It’s fun watching the driver’s attempts, most just give up trying and fuck off farther down the road where there might be a bigger space.

    The Spanish get their cars parked in the smallest of spaces, first time.
    And more often than not there will be a young girl driver.
    I think that we are used to tight parking as if you can’t it’s a waste of time driving to any city.

    Foreign drivers and expecially those in hire cars are fucking hopeless.

    Reply ↓

  13. The French dont really understand motoring.

    Citroën 2cv.

    Its a alien concept for them.
    Theyre ok in a kitchen.
    Adding garlic to the horsemeat or salt to the tadpoles,
    But really theyre bicyclists.

    Driving and war.
    Two things the French are abysmal at.
    Oh and singing.
    Warbling an croaking away.
    Three things.

    4, if you count using deodarant.

    Reply ↓

  14. I enjoyed watching a car park in Paris once. The space wasn’t big enough, so the driver shunted both cars until it was. No wonder all their cars have dents in.

    Reply ↓

    • Very true arfur, and yet it’s so simple.

      The left side is the right side and the right side is the wrong side. What can’t they understand about that?

      Reply ↓

    • A useful government web site Doc,actually the only useful one that comes to mind. Those failures listed, lights not working! FFS how hard is it to switch them on and walk round the car before you take it in for testing? Different size tyres on the same axle? God help us. Some of the failures you read on there are astounding. Failed on missing wheel nuts, failed on empty windscreen washers. There’s consideration now being given to reducing the requirement for testing to biennial. Frightens me. I would require an annual test from first registration not after three years.

      Reply ↓

  18. Just did a motorbike trip in Normandy, no problem.

    There were 10 of us though..grey haired grumpy Brit bikers..

    One interesting fact we gleaned though, the French would like a “Frexit* vote .

    No fucking chance was our reply..!

    Reply ↓

    • Afternoon DS.
      It’s actually quite wise what the Tories are doing.
      Being in “opposition” is far easier than being in power, so in having a Nigerian woman as their supposed leader, they’re deliberately making themselves unelectable and are still getting well-paid for doing, effectively, fuck all.
      Genius!
      Like when a man cooks badly on purpose and his missus will insist on taking over and he can retire to the study to watch Robocop.

      Reply ↓

      • Good point Tom. It’s obvious that have Kemi as leader means there’s a good wedge of votes they’re never going to see, but it hadn’t occurred to me that it was deliberately planned.

  20. Bray-Dunes rings a bell Cunty, is that up the road from Dunkirk? Pretty sure we went through there in the MC’s after getting off the boat at Calais’s on our way down to Belgium. Some of the vet’s wanted to see the beach. Looked like an insignificant shit hole from what I remember.

    Reply ↓

      • Oddly enough LB, on the return trip at Dover we were all diverted into a shed in the port while customs looked us over. This went on for a while and so we asked what they were up to. “Checking for illegal immigration smuggling” they said. We were all on MC’s so unlikely any had stowed away in a bedding roll, but you never know I guess. Meanwhile, the world and its uncle was steadily rolling past outside.

      • Ah, that’ll be the place then, and we acknowledge the speed limit on the way through.

  21. German drivers can be interesting too.
    In Germany there used to be an extensive network of NATO roads, these are wonderful mirror flat tarmac roads used by traffic that is sometimes not wanted on the regular highway.
    I used to drive those roads at night sometimes and I would use headlights as a kindness to other road users.
    My headlights were for show nothing more, didn’t need them and the chances of me sustaining any damage in a collision were minimal.
    As such I would occasionally meet a local boxhead slightly enraged at my wonky headlights and attempt to play chicken with me.
    It was quite interesting to see how long it took for them to realise they were fucking with a 70Ton Challenger tank 😁

    Reply ↓

    • I remember during the cold war Lord B when the Germans would periodically close a strip of autobahn for a day at the weekend so that the Luftwaffe could practise using it as a runway for fast jets. Wish the RAF would do that here.

      Reply ↓

  23. VERY O/T (Forgive me gentlemen) but I am sure you will be as delighted – and surprised – as I was to see that chippy little NigN0g who disputed getting sacked as Chairman of the Oxford Union has LOST his appeal.

    Reply ↓

    • Assume that about all foreigners and youll have a full and happy life.

      Im Diego from Venezuela
      ” well fuck off back there Dingo”

      Hello i am Ngongo from the Republic of congo
      ” i dont give a fuck where you’re from Bongo.”

      ” my name is inga and im from Sweden
      ” hello inga, what a lovely accent you have, please have a seat. “

      Reply ↓

      • Big day tomorrow.
        Rachel the paranoid android is going to pick our pockets.

        Hope none of you enjoy a milkshake?
        Be about 20quid for one from tomorrow.
        An them latte coffees.

        Luckily i dont like them.
        I like Bovril.

        Anyway hope she dies of mysogny the blinking stuttering little freak.

      • Afternoon MNC, how’s tricks?
        I heard that there’s so many bud-bud ding-dings working in the Unilever factory that 1/5th of every jar of Bovril is their faecal matter, from refusing to use the white devils’ toilet paper and using that one finger with the weirdly long nail on to scoop the runny shit from their botties?

      • There’s a tourist tax on the way, but Ben Houchen, Mayor of Tees Valley, says he won’t implement it on Teeside.

        Sorry Ben, but who the fucking hell would go on holiday to Middlesbrough?
        Has the Mayor ever been there?

      • I like to think so Thomas.
        Yummy.
        Faecal Bovril.

        Hows tricks pal?
        You got your lads over Christmas?

        I miss mine being little and opening Christmas presents.

      • Yeah, same MNC.
        I do indeed have my boys, but they just want money, unsurprisingly!
        Never mind, with the rate at which the 22 year old shags scrubbers, I’ll doubtless be a grandad soon and can enjoy Christmas like it used to be.
        Your family’s wending their merry through the country cream gates in a month, I presume?

      • Oh yes indeed!
        My parents, the daughter and her fella,
        Missus Miserables mam and granny.

        The dog freshly groomed,
        The scent of the Christmas tree,
        The steam of the turkey sat cooling,
        Carols playing in the background.
        I like Christmas.

        Fuckin hate new years eve though.

      • Belgium is full of cunts.
        An its possibly the ugliest place ive ever been.
        Basically just a industrial estate.

        Flat as a pancake.
        The arsebandits make awful chocolate too.
        Brag about it like its wonderful?!!

        Its shite pierre.
        Like dogshit.

        I hate belgians.

      • I don’t know any Belgians thank fuck but i did meet some briefly on a campsite in Languedoc a few years back..

        Those cunts can drink.

        That aside,there is no reason at all for Belgium to exist,the French were too afraid to annex it and the Jerries were too Jerry to be allowed to keep it.

        What a diplomatic pantomime.

      • It certainly should not exist Unk. I believe it was some sort of political stitch-up following the Napoleonic wars. Fact is half of the Belgians are French, half are Flemish and they fucking hate one another.

  26. Back in the day, when I lived in Geneva, which is a couple of miles from the border with France, I went to one of the local pubs to watch the England vs France 6 Nations match on TV.
    After imbibing a few drinks, I headed towards the bogs after the match to drain the lizard. Said bogs being too busy, I went outside to have a slash down the side of the pub and came across a French car which was parked there. As England had lost the match, I pissed against the Frog’s door handle!
    Fuck French drivers. They are cunts. In fact, all Frogs are cunts.

    Reply ↓

  27. OT, BBC expurgating the news again. Just told us that Nigel Farage has been accused of using “the P word”. WTF? Prat? Penis? Paki?

    Reply ↓

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *