will be a pile of cunt.
With the re-nationalisation of Greater Anglia Railways on Sunday, 12 October, over half the operator network has been moved back into public ownership. So Sir Too Kweer is now responsible for our trains.
Of course, he has Suck Dick Kant’s GLT to use as a successful model of a large train company run by socialist politicians. Oh, wait…
And, of course, nationalised railways went so well last time didn’t they. Oh, wait…
And, obviously, Heidi Alexander has oodles of experience running multi £billion industries. Oh, wait…does managing marketing for Clothes Aid count?
What could possibly go wrong?
PS Don’t expect ticket prices to fall due to the government taking ‘control’. No shit Sherlock!
Fuck off.
Nominated by Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea.
Even when I lived in the UK I hadn’t taken a rail journey for years.
Probably since I was a teenager without a driving licence.
But I am excited to one day travel on your rail network.
As the UK has the most expensive rail tickets in Europe I expect that the service will be excellent.
Clean trains running from well manned, modern stations.
Always on time.
Luxurious carriages with comfortable seats.
A well stocked buffet carriage with good quality food and drinks.
And absolutely no chance of getting stabbed.
19
Plus digital IDs for train travel only.Farcical.
6
My only gripe is with the general public, who are less and less have stopped calling them Railway Stations.
8
The signs in Gatwick Airport, which were no doubt signed off by some ignorant marketing cretin, say ‘Train Station’.
5
I agree entirely. It’s like every shop has to be called a ‘store’ now.
3
Well they do insist on calling passengers customers now Cunty.
2
As British Rail got Jimmy Savile to do their ad in 1980, maybe Greater Anglia Railways could get Andrew Mountbatten Windsock to do one now, the dirty pædo.
12
How about Eddie Izzard doing the ads:
‘Thiiis is the aaaaage…
… Of the Trans’
14
There is nothing great about British Railways. Unless you count expensive,dirty and late as being great.
Now with the added thrill of a savage land ape boarding the train.
Knowing this government he was probably a new guard checking tickets..
10
‘Heidi Alexander visited Norwich station’.
I bet she didn’t go on the train. There’s no way a carriage door is wide enough to accommodate that fat carcass.
7
She could travel easily being a post bag, GT. But would have to put up with some rough handling.
6
If you are ragged arse skint and way past the point of bankruptcy and if you are already committed to the most expensive rail building project the world has ever seen, then it probably isn’t a good idea to take on another business which will need billions in investment.
11
Ive not had a choochoo ride in yonks.
Im sure with kier Starmer in the role of rail baron like Vanderbilt then it’ll go swimmingly?
Run like clockwork
The graffiti will evaporate
Never late
No sooty stabbings
Leafs on the track?
No problem.
Every station will have waving children who are friends of the poor but proud stationmaster,
Waving handkerchiefs for kindly old gentlemen like us.
And the commie employees will never go on strike.
7
Kweer trains are a fucking zoo. Only persons of colour, transies and lesbianic monsters are allowed to work for them – in the interests of diversity. Onboard staff – lispers and mincers -have to wear rainbow lanyards and painted fingernails. The drivers are paid £100,000 pa for working a three hour week. Add to this the random intercity bloodbaths, company song “From the Rover to the Sea” , and special privileges for the cycling wankers, and the experience is truly hellish. All aboard!
10
I remember when my daddy was locked in prison for being a spy.
Me an my siblings couldnt afford to live in luxury in the North anymore.
My. Mother took us to live in that London.
Next to a railway line.
Wed wave at the passengers every day.
We couldnt afford posh hankies
So we used some pissy undercrackers.
We were friendly with the station master Red Mick.
Who told us our daddy was a hero of the Glorious Peoples Revolution against the capitalist elite.
There was a kindly old gentleman who would drop his trousers and frantically wave at my 12yr old sister .
And luckily for daddy he was the Duke of York!!
And daddy was mistakenly freed from prison.
Now we live on Epstein island and its paradise.
13
The nostalgia of the Railway Children, Mis. I’d love to fuck that Jenny Agutter in a single compartment now.
5
Join the queue Sammy. When Mis alluded to The Railway Children one’s thoughts immediately go to Jenny followed by the closing scenes in walkabout. Closely followed by a stiffy.
5
I can still remember being a child in the old single compartment, when my parents took me to Blackpool for the day and having nowhere to sit due to a big fat bastard sat with his legs akimbo. At least I can now be satisfied the old fat cunt is dead.
7
The railways are a deliberately complicated mess to use,so the traveller can receive a very hefty fine for booking the right ticket at the wrong time.
An excellent business model.
They also allow all manner of wógs on them and are not segregated in any way.
Another excellent choice,if you want the railways to go totally bankrupt and have to propped up with gigantic govt subsidies.
Most unsavoury.
Good morning.
9
Here’s some better news..
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c8jrw12d3edo
Good show.
8
Only 20?
Bloody disappointing.
🤞 for the great Bradford earthquake.
Morning UT/all.
8
Not so good, Tez. If it means Soft Touch Starmer letting more of the bastards in.
As that unfunny cunt Jimmy Cricket used to say…
‘C’mere… There’s fucking more.’
7
Will celebrity saint, The Artist Known As ‘Malala’
go back to the flyhole where she came from to help her own people out in this time of need?
Three little words…
Will she fuck.
For all her anti Western and capitalist bullshit, she’s alright, Jack.
Fucking horrendous leech of a cunt.
Morning, Tez.👍
8
A wicked corrupt creature indeed.
Our next Foreign Secretary perhaps?
Your health sir.
4
Liebour love splurging our cash.Remember when Liam Byrne left a note saying they ran out of money?CUNTS
6
if this 💩 bunch are running it it’ll soon be a runaway 🚅 😩.. with the added diverse strength of a pavement checking if you are Beelzebub in disguise 👹…’oooh Mr porter what shall I do,you didn’t have to stab me I should have got off at crewe’
6
Public transport, that’s why cars were invented..🚙
8
100% correct Doc.
3
Of course, the ‘Beeeeb’ have told us the two knife wielding train psychos are ‘British Nationals’.
What? ‘British’ like the Children in Need poster boy Southport Treeswinger child murderer?
Not forgetting the Manchester Arena mass murdering human filth.
‘But….. But they were born here you know.’
A dog can be born in a stable. But it will never be a horse.
Apologists and excuse makers, fuck off.
13
Mrs Brain’s paternal grandfather served in India under the Raj Norman. Her father and his sister were born in India consequently. No-one ever anywhere suggested they were Indian.
4
Why don’t the cunts just bring back British Rail as it was?
5
That’s right Norman. At least with those single compartments, only one murder could be committed. What are they playing at allowing mad cunts to run the full length of these modern things, stabbing everyone in sight.
4
That Beeching cunt did it for me. There were lots of lovely little Railway Stations the twat closed down. What did it matter if hardly anyone got on the trains. I loved quiet journeys on the old steam trains.
Were I live now there’s still hardly anyone on these modern things. At least if I sit at the front of the train, the ticket inspector doesn’t reach me before its time for me to disembark.
5
Beeching was a fat cunt and probably a pedo. Where I live near Bridgend there are at least two mothballed railways that could be put back into prolific use. Why aren’t the green lobby arguing for railways? Oh that’s right, because under Agenda 2030 we’re not supposed to be able to have any movement at all outside of our 15-minute Pods.
5
♪♫ “Heidi Alexander, a-steamin’ and a rollin’,
With Heidi Alexander, you never have to guess …
When you hear the tootin’ of the whistle,
You know it`s Heidi at the throttle of the Cannon-bollock Express!” ♫♫
Toot-toot.
🚂
6
Memo to Heidi,
Next time you’re on a train, just remember it’s always the slowest member of the herd that the predator attacks.
4
It *used* to be ‘so many unanswered questions’ after a senseless attack or big incident (Saturday’s – ‘now’ – run of the mill 11 victims mass stabbing would have been classed as ‘huge’ in the 90’s)
Now, though it’s a variant .. so many *unasked* questions.
Like…
I wonder who’ll get the most compo re: Huntingdon … people who got sliced and stabbed for no good reason by a cunt, their average lives thrown into turmoil…or the man who was wrongly arrested due to – I’m sure it will be described as outdated racism/stereotyping – even though spin was applied in the form of ‘good faith mistaken identity’
Why the need for the ‘good faith’ add-on?
I also ponder if one of unprovokedly stabbed people was to use the ‘big N’ word in their statements to the gestarmpo about the attack/assailant that attempted to murder them and others … how many uses of same would get them arrested in their hospital bed?
Ignore the first one perhaps (?), warn about a 2nd use, then 3rd a formal caution, 4th cuffs ->nick.
Also. ‘How long until the next one?’
William Hill et al could make a fortune opening a book on it….. number of vics, knife/vehicle? , how long the assailant had been ‘British’
5
Same old same old 🤷♂️
1
The trains are getting better, sadly the passengers are getting worse.
Travelling by train should only be allowed for a certain class of people or rather than 1st class and standard on one train maybe separate trains.
Normal respectable people trains (white only)
Chav and chutney trains
Dross, Black and Asian trains
Forget integration, it doesn’t work
By the time HS2 is finished it with be like the train from Islamabad to Lahore, the P*ki express.
5
Perhaps cattle carriages would suffice?
🤠🐄
4
When HS2 opens Sicky it will quickly become obvious it is a white elephant. Fares will be pitched high for the “superior” service. Custom will be low because people won’t pay. To raise revenue fares will be reduced and more trains run. That will mean reducing the speed of the trains; halve the speed, quadruple the capacity of the line. This is already planned. HS2 parallels the existing line from Birmingham Moor Street to Marylebone. I’m sure upgrading that line would have been cheaper and less disruptive than HS2.
Who needs a railway line between Birmingham and London anyway? I’ve done the journey regularly sice the 1960s. I just get in the fucking car and drive. The radio programme I like, the temperature and air-con I like, only my own BO to tolerate, cheaper than the train, door-to-door and safer from psychopaths.
5
Welcome aboard, enjoy your free stabbing.
I was up late Saturday night so I saw the ‘raw’ news about what happened, not the state-sanitised crap we’ve been fed the past two days.
Witnesses said that the two noir ‘British Citizens’ indeed shouted the Balloo Cacktar chant as they were rampaging.
5
From what I’ve read and seen re the train stabbings the biggest threat to train passengers is care (or not) in the community. Paranoid schizophrenic having a delusional episode cos the cunt wouldn’t take his fucking meds. One wonders if he likes to indulge in a puff or two?
4
Puff? I don’t think gay sex was the motive 😁😁
4
You never know he may have been protesting about lgbfdreswaqcvn rights.
1
Give is a few days and I predict the first strikes over “pay and conditions” that were apparently sorted over the last strike over “pay and conditions” by the RMT and/or ASLEF, timed to cause maximum misery over the Christmas and New Year holidays, allowing them to put their feet up and fuck the paying/travelling public. You read it here first. Odds anyone?
4
Nationalised railways are even better than they were before privatisation because we’re guaranteed some sort of criminal activity or enrichment and it’s fun to guess which one.
Will it be yobbos playing tinny autotuned negros warbling on their phones? Stinking vapes or pungent odious cannabis? Ngubu, Patel or Chingchong shouting loudly in their horrid jibberjabber? Or maybe the grand prize, a bit of violent vibrancy?
5
They need to go to China and learn a few things. Airport style scanners on the way in, wait until the gate is open before entering the platform and then whizz away at 300kph with no aggro from other passengers and nice hot meals available.
2
It would seem a train fell off the rails somewhere near Shap just this morning, What is it with Shap? Doesnt seem to have a great track record.
2
I understand the trains in India are a right laugh.
https://asiatimes.com/2024/11/blood-on-the-tracks-of-indias-railways/
2