Besides my slight tendency to be drawn towards nominating Greta Thundercunt, I always try and nominate things that are a little leftfield and obscure, Today I nominate love / hate relationships to generate a bit of conversation.
I could focus on my ex, working for money, many things. But no, I shall focus this entirely in Buckfast tonic wine although eating stupidly hot curries, preferably for money comes a close second, Give me a “challenge” where its free for finishing it or even better, A prize, I’m all in to suffer the next day consequences.
Back to Buckfast. I don’t especially like the taste, I really don’t like the unique form of hangover it provides and I especially don’t like the culture associated with it (I’m a very peaceful drunk).
But without fail, I can’t help myself when shopping if I know I will be drinking, It sets a drinking day off very well, A bizzare caffeine fuelled tipsy that no other drink is even slightly capable of providing, Almost impossible to describe but after over 20 years of drinking the stuff, its very much a love / hate relationship. Drink a 2nd bottle at your own risk, A third and the game is over for the next day.
Nominated by Cunt of the Isles.
Your Rab C Nesbit and I claim my £5🙂🏴
13
I’m going for Eight Ace.
7
think its my mate gav
4
You are Keith Richards, and you’ve had yet another fall out with Mick.😉
6
Not in Scottish currency though?
2
I once got fucked up on Buckfast.
Made by monks apparently?
Dont suppose they have to worry about brewers droop?
I thought about becoming a monk.
But its a bad habit.
I’ll get my coat..
12
Avoiding elderly predatory homosexual abbots too.
7
Benedictine has always been my favorite liquer spirit. Made from 27 different herbs. Although in the past I could say that the two of us had a bit if a love/hate relationship. I called it ‘Druid Fluid,’ & it was just a question of when to put the bottle back down.
7
I heard some of them clergy types go through life with a dirty brown habit… grab my coat while you’re over there, Mis?
8
Monks wear habits because they can easily cover the child, when being called upon unannounced.
4
I love hate, it’s what gets me out of bed in the morning.
A day without hate is a day wasted.
15
Many many years ago Quintus Arrius (Jack Hawkings) told Judah Ben Hur (Charlton Heston) that hate keeps a man alive. What a great epic that was!
8
Your tastes change as you get older.
Things you liked leave you cold.
I now hate crowds, noisy cunts, smell of cannabis,
Lager, all things that never bothered me before.
I now like liquorice, hot chocolate ( no not the band)
And peeping through keyholes.
Never used to.
Tastes change.
Youve become bored of Buckfast.
Try summat else.
Pink gin fizz?
Strawberry daiquiri?
Creme de meth?
Heroin? Thats as Scottish as shortbread.
7
“Creme de meth”, MNC?
That`ll be the purple one and not the green one then.
Cheers.
🍸
8
Oh I don’t discriminate with drink, a strawberry daiquiri on a warm summers day works wonders.
Ale over lager but with prices on Amazon defying Scottish minimum prices and next day delivery, how can I say no to making the poor postman bring me 72 cans a week.
Draw the line at Chartreuse though, Heroin probably is better and more palateable than any herbal drink, Jagermeister, Drambuie.
7
I used to love jagermeister.
Few on a night out.
Stops you catching the sniffles.
More a medicine than a drink.
Some twat in the pub told me it contained elks blood.
But sadly it doesn’t and is vegan friendly.
5
Right on about Amazon, I can send my mate a ltr of Whyte and McKay to his doorstep for £18 on Amazon £26 in Tesco’s in Aviemore.🤔
6
You need to listen to your body MNC.
If you have a craving for certain foods it is usually down to a mineral imbalance which your body is trying to correct, without you been aware of it.
Licorice can be a sign of potassium deficiency or liver problems.
It’s true that your tastes change when you get older, but that is often down to your body’s needs.
I used to have milk in coffee, but not anymore.
It wasn’t really a decision that I arrived at, I just found myself ordering strong black coffee, especially in the evenings.
Your body, which I discovered later, can’t handle milk or dairy products too well as you get older.
5
After reading the review I am not surprised it is popular in Scotchland
Brown goo with the taste of the Clyde shipyard, goes down well with a deep fried Mars bars.
Love a curry but hate the curry shits.
6
I used to drink 10% lager and smoke untipped Capstan full strength. Packed it all in due to finding nothing stronger.
8
My grandad smoked Capstan full strength all his life.
When he died he left his body to Balfour Beatty who resurfaced the A1 with what they scraped off his lungs.
16
My dad smoked 40 Park Drive a day.
My grandad smoke Senior Service and his pipe.
6
Puff.
Mine smoked 120 Capstan Full Strength a day and drank absinthe by the pint.
We didn`t dare cremate the old git.
🤢💥
9
Beer or white wine for me.
I don’t care what brand of beer it is, it all tastes good to me.
I’m talking about the normal type of beers, not that dark, warm piss that wierdo’s like, and you can shove Guinness up your poop shute.
Any white wine will do me, unless it’s sweet.
I prefer dry.
I get whatever is on offer at the bodega at cut price.
I am currently half way through a 10 litre plastic bottle of the stuff which was in the €1 a litre pump.
People who order wine in bars and restaurants are cunts for paying way over the top.
10
Im losing my taste for alcohol.
Suppose its because im always driving.
I still enjoy a few pints of bitter on a sunday but thats it really.
Ive bottles of whisky, mead, gifts off family, customers,
I dont really touch them.
What a boring little cunt I am
8
No you’re not Mis. I’ve known a handful of alcoholics and you don’t want to join them, one of them now dead. I also know a cunt who seriously injured two people in the car he crashed into when he lost it while driving pissed. He’ll be lucky if he avoids jail.
9
That’s the slippery slope to becoming a peaceful Miserable. Look for other signs, like stuffing your face before sunrise, and stuffing your face at dusk. A penchant for white pyjamas and long white skirts.
12
I have bottles of spirits decades old, presents which were never opened.
I don’t drink spirits and I don’t have any friends to share them with, on account of being a right cunt.
I have scores of third sized bottles of vodka and whiskey.
Every time I buy a few cartons of Benson’s the shop gives away a bottle free.
I gave away 20 bottles recently to my Estonian builders who did some work at Casa Cunter.
7
Did I ever tell you that you’re my favourite cunter?
Well you are you know.
Cheers!
6
I was in Normandy last month Arty and was introduced to Ambuscade. Half pint of French beer, i glass of white wine, 1small glass of Calvados. Surprisingly nice.
1
I spent my working life in field service and so only ever drank very moderately. Now I’m no longer at risk of being called upon to drive at short notice I am able to drink more freely. On most days I have a 440ml can of beer, 3 or 4% and a small glass of wine with dinner. Bottle of wine lasts a week. Pharmacist at the GP surgery said I should cut down. Any thoughts?
9
Thats not excessive Arfur.
Think if you’re retired its not a issue.
I used to get the dentist lecturing me on smoking.
I gave up about 6 yrs ago.
Now the cunt asks about drink.
Dentist ” Do you drink?”
MNC ” not really. Few pints at weekend”.
Dentist ” you. Should think about the effects on your health”
MNC ” really? Tell me,
Do you drink yourself?”
Dentist bit startled
“err… Yes glass of wine in the evening..”
MNC ” sounds to me sweetheart like your the one should be thinking about the health effects”
The cheeky little cunt never mentioned it since.
Ive got fuckin socks older than him.
Mind your own business.
11
Aye arfur.
Tell the sanctimonious cunt to fuck off!
That’s not excessive.
9
Well Arfur. My doctor asked me how much I drank. I said 6 pints.
Oh , you should cut that down by half. Ok, 51/2 pints isn’t too bad, but you try buying a half when you’re with mates.
9
Tell your pharmacist to go and piss up a rope.
The cunt should stick to counting out pills and stop giving advice which he is not qualified to do.
Keep drinking.
The problems only start when you try to stop or cut down.
A sensible and fully qualified doctor here told Mrs Cunter specifically NOT to stop smoking when she last went for a minor surgery.
He said that her body would react differently to the anaesthetics if she were to change her habits.
9
When Elder was expecting the Lass, she was a smoker, all be it not a heavy one.
She was advised not to stop , to try and cut back, but that the stress of stopping far outweighed any other potential problems to the baby.
I’m happy to say that the Lass is an extremely healthy, incredibly bright 16 year old who is set to sweep the board in her upcoming exams.
5
Yes Jeezum.
Those were the days.
Doctors giving out sensible advice.
Mrs Cunter was told to eat whatever the fuck she wanted when she was up the duff.
She was also told not to stop smoking.
The midwife told her not to bother using a steriliser for babies bottles too.
She said that babies need to build up a resistance.
Now when anyone goes to the doctors for any fucking reason they are asked how many cigarettes they smoke a day.
It doesn’t matter if the answer is 8 or 80, they will be told to cut down and stop.
5
arfur@ I’m not a doctor.
But in my expert opinion you should tell him to Fuck Off. 😁
Good afternoon 👍
9
Some great comments and advice from all above. The NHS should start redirecting patients to IsaC for non-emergency no bullshit advice.
6
You want to change doctors. I went to the doctor for something or other and she asked me how much I drank so I told her 14 units a week. She asked if I found my job stressful and when I said yes she told me I wasn’t drinking enough.
1
I love to hate our current government.
7
I can now see Keir Stapo, mincing around and screeching the poof disco of Erasure’s ‘Love To Hate You’ at the British Public.
5
Certainly I love the fact that I hate Afghans,syrians,Arabs and the africunt.
Worth savouring like a good scotch.
Fuck off.
8
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5ypkd57n97o
I rest my case,once again.
8
A 22-year-old Afghan national?
That’s odd. I thought it was just Welsh choirboys who went in for that sort of thing.
10
HMO in nice residential street, the government don’t give a flying fuck.
8
“The family of the deceased man have been told and are being supported by specially-trained officers”
I wonder if the family members asked about the nationality – scratch that – the ethnicity of the murderer … and surmised somewhere muslimmy and made some reasonable comments about the frequency of suchlike in Europe, .. would the cops slap the bracelets on ’em?
9
Don’t fuck about trial, move immediately to execution.
4
I am 70, ex pisshead, never ever seen any Buckfast.
Does it really exist? Or just an urban myth?
8
It exists all right, but you can’t buy it in South Yorkshire.
Had my cousin visit from Inverness about 10 years ago, he was absolutely devastated!
9
It’s like a shit version of Sanatogen Tonic Wine.
7
Shit version of Sanatogen. Well, Since I referenced little Greta in the nom How. Dare. You?
Eldorado is a shit version of Sanatogen, Buckfast is the thinking mans highly caffeinated tonic wine.
3
Greatest love/hate series ever made.
Steptoe & Son.
10
I’m guessing your love affair with Utd is mostly hate at the moment Norm? At least since the end of the Fergie era anyway.
6
Well yeah, Liberal.
It was touch and go under Dave Sexton as well. From the mighty Doc’s Destroyers to the most (then) boring man in football taking over.
Still not convinced about Amorim. But that new goalie is a huge improvement after we got shut of the Black Banana.
And, I do hate most ex-United ‘pundits’. Roy Keane, doing his now well worn cliched routine (i.e: moaning at everything), Wayne Rooney (Sgt Beetroot from Worzel Gummidge meets Terry off Brookside), and the turd in the waterpipe, Gary bastard Neville.
6
I love my Country 🇬🇧 , but I hate its Government(s) with a loathing you cannot begin to understand.
13
Yes,I do…🤬
5
Never tried it myself,
Apfelcorn was my down fall.
an apple based gut rot that must be served at a precise temperature.
Correctly served it is remarkably flavoursome and surprisingly strong.
too warm, Jesus, it tastes like old apple cores and mouth wash.
Too cold, well the apple bit freezes and you wake up naked in a field or a police station one of the two.
6
That fucking cunt nominated this day week back, only, … for putting an 11 y.o. girl in a headlock and stabbing her 8 times, in London….
” ….has attempted murder trial dropped”
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwykp36rlrko
4
oh! – to save anyone reading the whole thing to find out WHY this cunt is getting the kid gloves? ..
quote
“No explanation was given in court for the reason for the decision to drop the trial”.
So there you go!
5
O/T, but I just had to share this snippet from the British Transport Police website, about two Chinese students who played the system to the tune of £140k.
“Liu, 26, and of Clay Pit Lane in Leeds, pleaded guilty to fraud by false representation and conspiracy to acquire criminal property and was handed a two and a half year prison sentence at Leeds Crown Court last week on Monday 20 October.
He was joined by Wanqing Yu, 25, also of Clay Pit Lane in Leeds. She also pleaded guilty to fraud by false representation and conspiracy to acquire criminal property, and was handed a 17-week prison sentence.”
I can’t stop laughing.
6
Settle down, Beavis, … it’s pronounced Wan-ching, apparently …
In dirty chyna, ‘gee zum preest’ could mean ‘vinegary balls’ …
😁
3
Certainly got them, Cuntemall.
I’m a sour old git, as is my right and privilege.
With great age comes great…etc.
4
Wanqing Yu? Someone is having a giraffe.
5
Probably for lunch, if ‘someone’ is a relative of the chinky cunt …
5
Off topic
That storm Melissa is ace isnt it?
Its going to fuck up Jamaica 👍
Class 5 apparently, most powerful theyve had, hehehe.
Magical.
They were giving advice on the news for the silly cunts.
Get under a mattress?!!
An wear a helmet!!!
Not convinced that will help in a hurricane with 200mph winds?
More like advice for hiding from debt collectors.
Anyway, its a breathe of fresh air
6
“Spent a week on one of those Caribbean Islands east of Cuba with my girlfriend in ’98.
I recall she gave me a particularly excellent midnight Lewinski on a deserted beach under the stars the last night we were there…”
“Jamaica”?
“No, no .. she offered”…
5
Hold on, whoa, stop.
I expect the Royal Navy and every available cruise ship is en route now. Keir’s very own wind rush, pun intended.
Get ready for da carnival every day.
Wha’ appening rude boy, is yardies all ova da place innit.
4
And MV Empire Windrush is standing by at Canary Wharf, available to speed their ‘English’ brothers (back) over there to help clear up after such a disastrous turn of Nature, generously chartered by Sir Lenworthy Henworthy OBN.
What?
No volunteers??
Really???
Oh, well, never mind…
3
O/T but already mentioned
The Torygraph is reporting that the star of today’s episode of ‘Diversity is our strength’ (brought to you daily by the Uniparty) was an illegal Afghan immigrant.
Turned up on a lorry in 2020 and granted asylum 2 years later.
No mention of this on the BBC website.
5
Buckfast, never tried it. Thunderbird and White Lightening killed my taste for cheap alcohol back in my teens.
But after Raquel’s budget I’ll probably be drinking it, a bottle of Tipex thinners as a chaser.
5
We’ll be researching how to make potato vodka and how to make a still soon enough.
Might as well put in the work now, before rubber tubing goes in short supply, Six.
3
I had the dubious pleasure of partying with some Polish bikers, they’d brought their ‘shed vodka’ with them.
Fuck that stuff made your eyes stream when you took a sip.
4
O/T,
Hurricane Melissa.
185mph winds
Jamaica.
Who cares..!
Question, how much money will Starmski’s spunk up to aid a country who hate white people and couldn’t get independence from the great white slavery .
Fuck em..!
1