Besides my slight tendency to be drawn towards nominating Greta Thundercunt, I always try and nominate things that are a little leftfield and obscure, Today I nominate love / hate relationships to generate a bit of conversation.
I could focus on my ex, working for money, many things. But no, I shall focus this entirely in Buckfast tonic wine although eating stupidly hot curries, preferably for money comes a close second, Give me a “challenge” where its free for finishing it or even better, A prize, I’m all in to suffer the next day consequences.
Back to Buckfast. I don’t especially like the taste, I really don’t like the unique form of hangover it provides and I especially don’t like the culture associated with it (I’m a very peaceful drunk).
But without fail, I can’t help myself when shopping if I know I will be drinking, It sets a drinking day off very well, A bizzare caffeine fuelled tipsy that no other drink is even slightly capable of providing, Almost impossible to describe but after over 20 years of drinking the stuff, its very much a love / hate relationship. Drink a 2nd bottle at your own risk, A third and the game is over for the next day.
Nominated by Cunt of the Isles.
Your Rab C Nesbit and I claim my £5🙂🏴
9
I’m going for Eight Ace.
4
think its my mate gav
2
You are Keith Richards, and you’ve had yet another fall out with Mick.😉
2
Not in Scottish currency though?
0
I once got fucked up on Buckfast.
Made by monks apparently?
Dont suppose they have to worry about brewers droop?
I thought about becoming a monk.
But its a bad habit.
I’ll get my coat..
8
Avoiding elderly predatory homosexual abbots too.
2
Benedictine has always been my favorite liquer spirit. Made from 27 different herbs. Although in the past I could say that the two of us had a bit if a love/hate relationship. I called it ‘Druid Fluid,’ & it was just a question of when to put the bottle back down.
3
I heard some of them clergy types go through life with a dirty brown habit… grab my coat while you’re over there, Mis?
4
Monks wear habits because they can easily cover the child, when being called upon unannounced.
2
I love hate, it’s what gets me out of bed in the morning.
A day without hate is a day wasted.
9
Many many years ago Quintus Arrius (Jack Hawkings) told Judah Ben Hur (Charlton Heston) that hate keeps a man alive. What a great epic that was!
1
Your tastes change as you get older.
Things you liked leave you cold.
I now hate crowds, noisy cunts, smell of cannabis,
Lager, all things that never bothered me before.
I now like liquorice, hot chocolate ( no not the band)
And peeping through keyholes.
Never used to.
Tastes change.
Youve become bored of Buckfast.
Try summat else.
Pink gin fizz?
Strawberry daiquiri?
Creme de meth?
Heroin? Thats as Scottish as shortbread.
3
“Creme de meth”, MNC?
That`ll be the purple one and not the green one then.
Cheers.
🍸
5
Oh I don’t discriminate with drink, a strawberry daiquiri on a warm summers day works wonders.
Ale over lager but with prices on Amazon defying Scottish minimum prices and next day delivery, how can I say no to making the poor postman bring me 72 cans a week.
Draw the line at Chartreuse though, Heroin probably is better and more palateable than any herbal drink, Jagermeister, Drambuie.
3
I used to love jagermeister.
Few on a night out.
Stops you catching the sniffles.
More a medicine than a drink.
Some twat in the pub told me it contained elks blood.
But sadly it doesn’t and is vegan friendly.
2
Right on about Amazon, I can send my mate a ltr of Whyte and McKay to his doorstep for £18 on Amazon £26 in Tesco’s in Aviemore.🤔
2
You need to listen to your body MNC.
If you have a craving for certain foods it is usually down to a mineral imbalance which your body is trying to correct, without you been aware of it.
Licorice can be a sign of potassium deficiency or liver problems.
It’s true that your tastes change when you get older, but that is often down to your body’s needs.
I used to have milk in coffee, but not anymore.
It wasn’t really a decision that I arrived at, I just found myself ordering strong black coffee, especially in the evenings.
Your body, which I discovered later, can’t handle milk or dairy products too well as you get older.
2
After reading the review I am not surprised it is popular in Scotchland
Brown goo with the taste of the Clyde shipyard, goes down well with a deep fried Mars bars.
Love a curry but hate the curry shits.
3
I used to drink 10% lager and smoke untipped Capstan full strength. Packed it all in due to finding nothing stronger.
5
My grandad smoked Capstan full strength all his life.
When he died he left his body to Balfour Beatty who resurfaced the A1 with what they scraped off his lungs.
13
My dad smoked 40 Park Drive a day.
My grandad smoke Senior Service and his pipe.
1
Beer or white wine for me.
I don’t care what brand of beer it is, it all tastes good to me.
I’m talking about the normal type of beers, not that dark, warm piss that wierdo’s like, and you can shove Guinness up your poop shute.
Any white wine will do me, unless it’s sweet.
I prefer dry.
I get whatever is on offer at the bodega at cut price.
I am currently half way through a 10 litre plastic bottle of the stuff which was in the €1 a litre pump.
People who order wine in bars and restaurants are cunts for paying way over the top.
5
Im losing my taste for alcohol.
Suppose its because im always driving.
I still enjoy a few pints of bitter on a sunday but thats it really.
Ive bottles of whisky, mead, gifts off family, customers,
I dont really touch them.
What a boring little cunt I am
4
No you’re not Mis. I’ve known a handful of alcoholics and you don’t want to join them, one of them now dead. I also know a cunt who seriously injured two people in the car he crashed into when he lost it while driving pissed. He’ll be lucky if he avoids jail.
2
That’s the slippery slope to becoming a peaceful Miserable. Look for other signs, like stuffing your face before sunrise, and stuffing your face at dusk. A penchant for white pyjamas and long white skirts.
5
I have bottles of spirits decades old, presents which were never opened.
I don’t drink spirits and I don’t have any friends to share them with, on account of being a right cunt.
I have scores of third sized bottles of vodka and whiskey.
Every time I buy a few cartons of Benson’s the shop gives away a bottle free.
I gave away 20 bottles recently to my Estonian builders who did some work at Casa Cunter.
1
I spent my working life in field service and so only ever drank very moderately. Now I’m no longer at risk of being called upon to drive at short notice I am able to drink more freely. On most days I have a 440ml can of beer, 3 or 4% and a small glass of wine with dinner. Bottle of wine lasts a week. Pharmacist at the GP surgery said I should cut down. Any thoughts?
3
Thats not excessive Arfur.
Think if you’re retired its not a issue.
I used to get the dentist lecturing me on smoking.
I gave up about 6 yrs ago.
Now the cunt asks about drink.
Dentist ” Do you drink?”
MNC ” not really. Few pints at weekend”.
Dentist ” you. Should think about the effects on your health”
MNC ” really? Tell me,
Do you drink yourself?”
Dentist bit startled
“err… Yes glass of wine in the evening..”
MNC ” sounds to me sweetheart like your the one should be thinking about the health effects”
The cheeky little cunt never mentioned it since.
Ive got fuckin socks older than him.
Mind your own business.
4
Aye arfur.
Tell the sanctimonious cunt to fuck off!
That’s not excessive.
2
Well Arfur. My doctor asked me how much I drank. I said 6 pints.
Oh , you should cut that down by half. Ok, 51/2 pints isn’t too bad, but you try buying a half when you’re with mates.
0
I love to hate our current government.
2
Certainly I love the fact that I hate Afghans,syrians,Arabs and the africunt.
Worth savouring like a good scotch.
Fuck off.
1
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5ypkd57n97o
I rest my case,once again.
1
A 22-year-old Afghan national?
That’s odd. I thought it was just Welsh choirboys who went in for that sort of thing.
1
HMO in nice residential street, the government don’t give a flying fuck.
0
I am 70, ex pisshead, never ever seen any Buckfast.
Does it really exist? Or just an urban myth?
1
It exists all right, but you can’t buy it in South Yorkshire.
Had my cousin visit from Inverness about 10 years ago, he was absolutely devastated!
1
It’s like a shit version of Sanatogen Tonic Wine.
0
Greatest love/hate series ever made.
Steptoe & Son.
2
I’m guessing your love affair with Utd is mostly hate at the moment Norm? At least since the end of the Fergie era anyway.
1
Well yeah, Liberal.
It was touch and go under Dave Sexton as well. From the mighty Doc’s Destroyers to the most (then) boring man in football taking over.
Still not convinced about Amorim. But that new goalie is a huge improvement after we got shut of the Black Banana.
And, I do hate most ex-United ‘pundits’. Roy Keane, doing his now well worn cliched routine (i.e: moaning at everything), Wayne Rooney (Sgt Beetroot from Worzel Gummidge meets Terry off Brookside), and the turd in the waterpipe, Gary bastard Neville.
0