I’m cunting these, because I think they have gone too far.
On my estate, a couple of houses were decorated for Halloween around the 11th October. On my recent dog walk, there’s about a dozen, with tacky spiderweb, complete with tacky giant spider, attached to the upper window and anchored in the front garden, accompanied by the fake cobwebs that trap insects and small birds.
Well done, cunts.
They leave these abominations up until around the 14th of November, when the Christmas ( oops, Festive ) decorations go up. The fireworks have been going off for the last 10 days, and they go on until 10pm, or later.
I’m not talking about the odd rocket, but those repeating airbombs, that shake your windows, and make your dog piss in terror ( and leave me non to stable, either ).
I’m all for folks enjoying their selves, but Halloween is one day, and the 5th of November is one day.
Fucking knock it off, Clampets!
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
I feel we could successfully combine the two, round up all the Halloween,trick and treat bastards and chuck them on a huge bonfire.
12
Could it also include gunpowder?
Thanks in advance.
9
And illegals
0
I fucking loathe fireworks.
Used to like em as a kid but even then to be fair, they were mainly small fry.
A Catherine Wheel, a sparkler and a Roman Candle.
Nowadays it’s just a chav pissing competition and nothing else.
“let’s wait for the neighbours to let off theirs and we’ll let off off ours afterwards until close to midnight if need be because our chav rockets are bigger louder and brighter than theirs”
I would love to insert the bastard things sideways into the anus of the thick inconsiderate numbskull bastards who think it’s well cool to illuminate the sky for a week before and after the 5th of November with their cuntishness.
Hallowe’en I don’t mind too much to be honest although the over the top “Trick or Treat” American imported shite is pathetic.
Penny for the Jack-o’-lantern turnip style is and always has been the way for us English.
Pumpkins are for pussies.
If you’re a firework enthusiast who is reading this comment – yes YOU – then you are a cunt!
Great nom by the way JP.
8
Always enjoyed the rocket launch from the arse, the screaming was most rewarding
5
I only do the trick version to see how quickly they can fuck off.
8
Sheffield, twinned with Gaza City.
10
😁👍
6
As a Sheffielder I can confirm that Gaza has a better run local council, town planning and most probably better run professional football sides.
I hate fireworks too. Stress for animals, army veterans and the elderly, it’s about time it was fucked off.
11
Nice to see the plebs keeping china and the landfill in business at this time of year..stupid cunts
8
The way Halloween, Bonfire Night and Christmas are thrown down your throats from September in the shops! The three could be combined and called Hallobonmas!
8
That`s already a Muslim festival isn`t it?
🛐
7
For a firework display everyone can enjoy, including Jeezum’s dog, may I suggest the detonation of a small nuclear device in Bradford on 5th November?
12
Can there be hot dogs and baked potatoes as well?
🌭🥔
7
Under the House of Commons and lords would be Better.
1
Schadenfreude …
https://www.reddit.com/r/WhyWomenLiveLonger/comments/y21ecx/fireworks_and_scousers/
(_!_)🚀💥
8
Thank you Sam. That explains why the words ‘Scouser’ and ‘intellegent’ are never seen contiguously.
10
or even ‘intelligent’.
9
Couldn’t agree more with the absurd wastefulness of these cunts that dawb their houses with these tacky, supremely un-scary, Halloween paraphernalia.
My demented incontinent raving psycho mother, who hasn’t washed for three years and stinks like a camel’s perineum, does absolutely nothing by way of dressing up the house for Halloween, but by fuck do the local kids shit themselves when they knock on the door and she answers. Saves a load of money on treats too, since they’ve run off further than we can throw them before you can offer them round.
9
… although a strangely practical occasion, Balsy, in some of our more vibrant neighbourhoods …
https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/5f9fbca228f94_53muwr31eiz11__700.jpg
5
Put out the the English flag and you are a cunt. Put out devil worship shit (albeit masquerading as spooky fun) and that’s okay. No, it is not good for the children/community, it is a kydee-fydler’s dream. This country is fucked (to paraphrase the legendary cunter, RTC).
Good morning, everyone.
9
A black adult mannequin standing over a caucasian girl mannequin in a school uniform with his hand reaching into his tracky for the schlong would be a great garden halloween display… perhaps while another adult male brown mannequin is staged in an attempt to take upskirt shots at the same time …
If you’re going to offend cunts, you might as well go for the gold …
10
mp3 player on a loop …
“You is beautiful”
“Can I has a kiss?”
“I want ro make a baby with you”
(All 3 © one Mr. Kebatu, Epping, 2025)
9
Halloween is a load of bollocks, another import idea embraced by the mongs.
Making an effigy of a roman catholic, parading it through the streets and then burning it at the stake I am all up for.
Fire works, well mixed emotions, I think organised displays are a better idea than general sale, purely based on some of the shit I used to do as a kid.
So it is probably best to restrict the sale, although I used to make my own stuff and out sourced from British rail .
Fucking blew a hole 1ft deep by 2ft wide in the back garden when I was a kid, I was well chuffed, until I realised I had to back fill it and make new to prevent a thrashing from my parents.
8
When these chocolate pretzels were recalled because they might contain metal fragments I went straight down to Sainsburys and bought all they had.
https://www.food.gov.uk/news-alerts/alert/fsa-prin-16-2025
I’ll be handing them out to the little trick’n’treating cunts tonight. Hopefully I’ll be able to watch at least one of the little fuckers get a severely lacerated mouth. Or better still, the entire alimentary canal shredded.
7
Ah, excellent stuff 👍
6
A bit harsh Geordie.
We just scoff a box of Ferrero Roche and then wrap Brussel sprouts up in the foil wrappers for Halloween.
I like to call then Odin’s golden balls of disappointment.
2
Combine the two… wait for the trick r treaters to knock on the door, then fire a rocket through the letter box 😁… How’s that for a scare 😱 now feck off too a&e for a 6 hour wait …and bonus for the staff at the hospital Is that they may be already bandaged 🤕…
6
Where I live there is an unwritten rule, if the house isn’t decorated and lit don’t fucking knock.
Screaming kids for two fucking hours or so, what’s not to like 😂
Fireworks should only be allowed for organised displays, allowing cunts to have them is just asking for trouble, and only on the 5th, not 1st to 10th
8
Celebrate Bonfire night burning down Westminster 🤣🤣🤣
5
It’s old hat these days and I no longer have to worry about trick or treat cunts now I live in rural Lincolnshire. But when I lived in a northern town I did wrap up small 🧅 s along with mini mars bars. How I laughed when the fuckers opened up to see an onion. Cunts.
8
Halloween: another crass American tradition that idiots over here have adopted because the media and supermarkets (another American invention) promote it.
Dressing up as characters from 30s and 50s horror films (which children shouldn’t be watching anyway) and then going around annoying neighbours begging for sweets. Why is that a thing; whose idea was that?.
Naturally it also gives love-handled fat slags and their beer-bellied worshippers yet another excuse to get drunk and spread new strains of herpes and chlamydia.
It’s similar to how Christmas is now all about ‘Santa’ and having yet more drunken parties rather than Father Christmas leaving a few presents for the children. Fucking Americans
9
Im not all for people enjoying themselves.
Im for them shutting the fuck up and stop being noisy cunts.
Every year for about 3 weeks my dogs terrified.
These are the very same cunts who cant afford to pay their bills but can spend £60 on fireworks.
Well you chav cunts i hope little ‘Jayden’ and ‘paris’ get 3rd degree burns and blinded by your airbombs.
You can run them to the A&E in your mobility car.
Fuck off
10
Amen
2
Have you ever seen bigste3429 on TikTok? He’s from somewhere near Stockport and is always going on about Chav’s kids called Jayden and Layden. He’d approve.
2
I have to report that name of mine, who apparently has too much time and money on their hands, put their Xmas lights up and on back on October 25th.
5
…a neighbour of mine. My keyboard is a cunt. And so am I
4
What a miserable shower you all are! Ban halloween, ban fireworks, silence the kids. This mentality is what leads to all the regulations and laws for your own good. Illegal to replace your own windows, fix the electrics in your own house, blanket low speed limits and now we learn that you need permission from the fucking council to rent out your own house! Fuck ’em all! I suspect the only time I go an hour without breaking some rule is when I’m asleep and I’m not sure about that.
PS; doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy throwing Rachel off a tower block.
6
just so you understand how it goes,
I have had my fun, I have pissed it up, put light bags of shit on peoples door steps, thrown fireworks at cyclists.
I am now old, miserable and don’t want any cunt doing to me what I have done to others.
so too fucking right ban it all!
Oh and a bit of respect from young folk wouldn’t go amiss either.
3
I honestly think that the problem is that the UK has too few holidays.
That is probably what you expect a lazy, Spanish bastard to write, but hear me out……..
In the UK national holidays are few and far between, so you have to milk them.
Although Halloween and Guy Fawkes night aren’t national holidays, people want to celebrate them as if they were, and they go way overboard in doing so.
Christmas is another one.
You probably have the Christmas ads on the telly now and a channel showing Christmas films.
Christmas is only one day too and we only celebrate it on that day, or rather the night before when we will have a nice meal.
On Christmas day all bars and restaurants will be open.
But here’s the difference.
We have Constitution Day on December 6th quickly followed by the Day of Immaculate Conception on the 8th.
These are national holidays.
We also have a further 6 national holidays throughout the year, 2 regional holidays and 2 further local holidays.
I know that you think that it’s excessive, but life is too short and everything gets done sooner or later.
More national holidays will mean that people don’t have to particularly look forward to them.
They will arrive soon enough.
¡Saludos!
4
Mrs Cunter has just reminded me that tomorrow is a National Holiday!
Todos los Santos.
We will have to go out and celebrate!
0
I’m sorry to read that some of you and your pets hate fireworks, but I think I may have a solution, at least for this year.
Brixton is all but deserted at the moment, so spend the next week there and it should be pretty quiet. Since Storm Melissa hit and in the spirit of Caribbean collaboration, most of the residents have flown to Jamaica to help with the looting.
9
Isn’t Rachel from complaints enjoying All Hallows Eve as our Witch in charge?🤔
6
Setting light to shit is the mark of a serial killer in the making. That and bed-wetting, and cruelty to animals (fact checked by the FBI). I wonder if Dennis Nilson enjoyed bonfire night? And what about Fred West and Peter Sutcliffe? The public has a right to know.
4
Pete Sutcliffe didn’t like bonfire night.
In case he got embers or sparks in his beard or woolly hair.
Although he was a fan of Halloween.
Often running around in a bedsheet playing a ghostie with Yorkie chocolate fingerprints on it.
5
The last week has seen Diwali fireworks every poxy night round my way and the dog hates them. He is genuinely terrified.
Living in the posh bit of Londonistan as I do, it is mostly the rich yanks who dress the house up for Halloween. I am very much looking forward to the cunts taking their mini cunts out trick or treating this year, as I notice that one of them has a nice pair of Bang & Olufsen speakers in his living room that won’t be there when they get back.
5
Shotgun shots sound very similar too fire works, you could get away with a bit of street cleaning next Diwali if you think about it.
5
When my kids were little, they used to go trick or treating Odin.
We’d get several parents to chaperone a bunch of littlest, but as our mums didn’t raise fools, one parent stayed home to guard the house.
Mind you, that’s the type of area I live in, no better 30 years ago than it is today.
Roll on 2027 ( or sooner, with any luck ).
3
Odin@
You need to take a stand.
Shout “Oi you fat cunts”
And point to the stars and stripes flag in your hand.
Tell them youll burn the fucker unless they calm down.
If they persist,
Build a effigy of Abraham Lincoln and torch the fucker in the gardenn
2
The little bastards with their “trick or treat” bollocks.
No treat for you, vermin scum. How about a trick? I’ll choose. Give me back the portion of my property taxers stolen from me to help pay for your fucking school. That’ll be a great trick!
Bastard kids. Consumers of everything, producers of nothing. Fuck off.
4
Its Halloween everyday in the House of Lords.
Coffins creaking open when they scent the gravy train to sign on.
I’d love to chuck a load of bangers in their crypt and finish a few off.
4
No trick or treat Yankee bollocks in my day, we went begging using this..
Happy days.
https://youtu.be/91khDd1W-64?si=wlr9o3BnCU0SzV6_
4
@doc…it was great hanging around the pub doors with your crap guy and mithering the pissed up punters for a few coins…’any spare change mister’
…’No you little brats’
…’well fuck off you pissed up old tramp’
Happy days 😂
4
Then off to the chippy, tanner’s worth with “bits”…👍
2
Not a fan of the trinity hallowe’en, bonfire night, Christmas, in fact I loathe all 3. My local has had their hallowe’en crap up since the beginning of October, looks like someone’s emptied the whole fucking shelves of poundland in there.
I said to the landlady that I’m 60 fucking years old, and I don’t want to sit in a nursery classroom and drink beer. Blow up eyeballs, crappy spiders webs and the like. She wasn’t happy, so I said I will come back after Christmas when all the plastic shite is down. Found another pub to frequent with subtle tones of autumn decorations. Chin chin.
1