The usual mongs have turned out for Ricky Hatton’s funeral.
Cunts in Manchester City shirts and waving City flags (what is it with these blue bastards?). Anyone with a shred of decency and respect wears black at a funeral.
Also – surprise surprise – there are even some Liverpool shirts in there. Might have known they’d be in there griefjacking. Like leeches on a big fat blood filled arse.
Yes, the lad was a huge City supporter. But at his funeral?! Shouldn’t heads be bowed silently as a mark of respect (a la Churchill and his send off)? Waving flags like its a day out at the Cup Final? Fuck off. What’s next? Sparklers? Whirly Gig Windwills? This is a funeral, Not a sodding carnival.
And, naturally, there are hordes of shitheads holding up their phones, ‘filming’ the procession. And, of course, these fuckers will be boasting about it on social media and bastard Tik Tok.
This is Dianafication for chavs and riff raff. Complete and utter cunts of the highest order.
Nominated by: Norman
Welcome to the new age,Norm.
Shite,ain’t it ?
12
Undoubtedly, most of the commoners watching the procession were dole enthusiasts.
It took place between 10am and 1pm.
Obviously his family were there, but our tax money are paying for the phones held by these indigent parasites.
11
I wonder how many Corrie chavs also shoehorned themselves into the funeral limelight?
5
Love a good funeral me.
Bet the buffet was good?
Sausage rolls, vol au vonts, little buttys, chicken legs, the works.
Not much of a queue
All in the bogs snorting coke.
But a funeral should be sombre.
Dignified.
Wear black, look sad,
Take your own xl paper plate.
8
Ps
I saw that simpleton Liam Gallagher was there,
And betting that ringworm Ian Brown was there?
Sunglasses on in church.
Did cleft palate mayor Andy burn em show up?
Gary Neville in his hi-vis and hard hat?
10
Neville wouldn’t be seen around those common people. He only associates with Sky TV minions and the upper echelons of the Labour Party :
Emily Thornberry: “Why are you eating the Mayonnaise with a fork?”
Neville” Fook me, ah fort it was Yoghur’. Ey up, wot’s fer pudding? Go’ any Angel Deliiiight?”
10
I listened to a good program on the radio about this,
A vicar was saying about certain faces that would constantly appear at funerals, initially he thought they were unlucky and then he worked out that they were buffet bargees.
The woman on the show invented a fictitious person and a few institutions on Wikipedia and announced the persons death in the times.
She received a number of letters from people who had not only known said person but had helped them in works with said fictitious institutions all to get too the buffet!
2
Indeed, Norman.
It appears that we are getting more and more like the Continental types everyday. Anyone would think we were Italian!
As someone famously said, in response to the question ” whatever happened to the British stiff upper lip?”
“It’s here, just above my lower trembling one”
8
I didnt go.
They was going to seat me between Dean Gaffney and frank Bruno!!
Fuck that.
Frank mithering me to put his straw in his carton of Umbongo juice and tie his shoelaces for him.
Knowing my luck kevin webster would collar me,
Or ken Barlow.
Bore me to death.
7
The only thing worse is a Do-as-you-likey funeral. Where taste, decorum and dignity are left at home in the caravan.
5
Good Morning
I can’t stand clapping at funerals, it’s a commemoration not some football match. I blame Blair hijacking Princess Diana , I think that’s where it all started.
I want everyone to bring their dogs at my funeral, at least they will behave better than many people .
8
Sort of bloke he was, not everyone wants a miserable funeral, I don’t. People turning up looking all somber when in reality they are just showing up for the sake of decency or to make sure you’re actually dead.
In their heads wondering if they might be getting something. I’m going in a cardboard coffin on the cheap. Very few people will generally give a fuck.
It’s fine to sneer at the working class but there us, like it or lump it.
7
I don’t want a funeral at all, Six.
Straight from the morgue to the crem for me, and I’ve made it clear to the family.
They can have a nice steak dinner followed by a massive piss-up with the money instead.
10
I hold the same view Jeezum. Funerals are going out of fashion rapidly. Not surprising since they’re based in religion and most people don’t believe in a sky fairy any more. My wife has instructions to ring round for the best price to dispose of me on the day I die.
7
I signed up for this.
https://metro.co.uk/2018/05/28/britains-first-body-farm-looking-volunteer-corpses-7584053/
fortunately I am still alive as it has not passed legislation yet.
or the wife could just leave me where I die and forensics’ can pop round later.
All in all a bit of a money saver and environmentally friendly!
1
I agree 6🐶. I’ve got a whoopie cushion fancy dress outfit I want to be wearing before I go into the oven. Folks can wear what the fuck they like, and no sobbing. Don’t mind the odd stink bomb,, fake Dogshit here and there, mourners wearing flowers that squirt water in peoples faces, and cigars that blow up. Smashing.
5
The poor bugger hung himself.
Perhaps it was the thought of all the cunts who would turn out uninvited for his funeral?
Anyroad,a very good fighter beset by “inner demons” in retirement.
Great nomination,thank you.
Good morning.
5
In my funeral instructions to a corrupt mortician, I’ll specify that my body is to be carefully butchered and served up as a delicious chili at the wake. Everyone apart from my kids will be obliged to eat a bowl as my floating ghost looks on and has a spooky wank, spunking ectoplasm into the hair of a few selected mourners.
8
I see Tyson made an appearance and couldn’t help the traditional pie-kee send off, he was seen on the church roof rolling up some lead flashing for a momento 😩
7
I cant remember what part of Scandinavia they were from, but the girl I was speaking too said that selfies with dead relatives were very common.
Almost like the Victorian dead child photos, only you left granny in the box and did not prop her up.
Its just the film everything culture has taken over, at your time of need someone will appear from nowhere and start filming you, not giving you a hand but fucking filming you!
a whole world of cuntishness!
Reminds me anyone seen the old footage of the man that parachuted into an alligator farm, that was fucking good!
https://youtu.be/jSVo3gvHhZc?si=ovz1fsnzgpIt0eUZ
2
Obviously, many of these griefjacker types know best.
‘He would’ve wanted everyone to be happy’, they say about a bloke who was so joyously happy that he hung himself.
Reminds me of an early episode of Only Fools & Horses where Triggers grandmother had died.
Del Boy – ‘Come on Trig, she wouldn’t want everyone stood around around looking sad’.
Trigger – ‘Nah. She wouldn’t have loved it. She was a miserable old cow!’
8
I dont want any celeb cunts or sports spastics at my funeral.
No frivolity or jokes either.
No fuckin ‘freebird’ “oh he loved this tune’
Just hymns.
I want proper.
Not some freakshow.
An black horses with plumes.
Victoria carriage.
No foreign food at the wake.
And no arsebandit vicar or lezzy type.
A proper goofy cunt vicar
An no blacks.
8
And Motörhead’s ‘Killed by Death’ playing as loud as possible over the crematorium speakers, eh MNC?
5
Thatd be lovely Thomas.
Maybe the vicar headbanging along?
6
Indeed. Although I cadge myself an invite to your funeral and, using AI, ‘Killed by Death’ would be changed to Lemmy growling
“Killed by AIDS”
or
“Killed by Gays”
or
“Killed by Blacks”
Your relatives would find it most amusing! ♤
6
I asked Mrs Cunter whether she wanted cremating or burying.
She said, “I don’t know, surprise me”.
Thanks to Bob Monkhouse.
7
I think that a funeral should be a celebration of someone’s life, not full of sadness for their death.
A funeral is for the people left behind, the cunt who is dead will know nothing about it anyway.
So people should celebrate any way they see fit.
4
I am watching Monster – The Ed Gein Story on Netflix
You wouldn’t want to die and be buried anywhere near him if you were a woman
4
What !? No miniature boxing ring on Ricky’s coffin, with a black boxer flat on his back and a white boxer with arms aloft.
5
O/T, Sarah Pochin you are right to many black/ Asian faces on GB TV adverts..!
An observation, no apology needed..!
GB has not yet finally submitted to minority rule.
8
My dearly departed mother decreed, ” not one piece of black at my funeral, or I will come back and haunts you”!
Only miserable cunts with a guilt conscious wears black at a funeral.
2
What about Johnny cash the man in black?
0
He could afford it, Mis.
0
Selfish parasites
3
Even blacks go ashen-faced at the death.
1
Shouldn’t a funeral be a dignified affair for family and friends? I don’t understand why it has to be some huge event for the general public.
2
Frivolity was suicide coverup.
0
Solid post Norman.
I saw some of the footage and thought it was a carnival, not a moment of solemnity for a poor sod who took his own life.
Starmers Britain sadly.
1
Funerals on my list of ‘to be cunted’
I declared at 18 I would never go to one again, having been ‘made’ twice previously.
A gathering where – sometimes, often even – absolute, undeniable cunts, .. are posthumously heaped with praise that they absolutely in no way whatsoever earned in life?
Fuck that.
Just discussed it with missus of 25 years recently – I won’t be going to hers, whenever, either.
Nonsensefests.
0
^ If she dies first between the 2 of us, I feel I should have added 😄
0
Sorry to go off topic, did anyone have Prunella Scales in the dead pool?
0
Jeezum had her … (in deadpool)
0