Bike theft will not be investigated by British Transport Police.
And why not?
Because apparently they have more serious things to do, like patrolling the stations to deal with other crimes.
Like what?
They don’t have the manpower to trawl through CCTV, fair do, get civilian volunteers to do it, twats.
Spend some fucking money for folk to leave their bikes in a secure facility, people will pay a reasonable fee.
When a bike is your only transport, having it stolen is devastating, so to effectively decriminalise bike theft is just a further indication of how far we have fallen.
Nominated by : Jeezum Priest
Insurance premiums will go up.
It won’t be long before Pákís will realise that there is no way of finding out through CCTV that their 4.000 quid, top of the range bike has actually been nicked 3 hours ago.
A crime number and a claim.
11
Wait for Rachel’s Big Budget Extravaganza..
In a desperate attempt to stop the Brexit Tommy Tommy Robinson £40 billion Black Hole created by Liz Truss she will no doubt introduce a Bicycle Theft Tax,which she will pretend is to be spent on more “bobbies on the beat” to stop bike theft and smash the gangs..
In reality the new tax revenue will be given to assorted cunts like Syrians and Algerians,to name a couple,for new e-bikes for their illegal drugś delivery service.
All “fully costed” you see.
The dirty cunts.
14
I`m betting that if Rachel did ride a bicycle there would be many quumfers on this site who would take early advantage of the saddle aroma following dismount.
🐽
5
I think that you will find that the correct name for a bicycle seat sniffer, according to The Oxford Dictionary, is a snerge.
7
Don’t suppose Flabbot rides one into work though, Sniffing her saddle by mistake, could involve a visit to the nearest hospital.
8
I’ve never understood the thing about saddle-sniffing myself Sam, always struck me as slighty odd.
Personally I’ve always found the practice of sniffing a still warm after being worn for twelve hours pair of panties to be be much more rewarding and stimulating.
Still each to his or her own.
9
Perhaps you are moompher in denial, Ron.
8
Is ‘moompher’ the term for a panty sniffer Sam?
If so, far from being in denial, I’m an enthusiastic advocate of this most rewarding practice; freshly worn and fragrant, still lovely and warm.
Yummy.
7
Well it sure beats robbing them off washing lines Ron, especially at this time of year, all cold & soggy, with the annoying hint of Lenor.
6
TTCE and me could be affected by Rachel from Account’s Big Extravaganza. There are rumours, Rachel is going to re-introduce car tax for classic cars 40+ years old. That’s TTCE’s Allegro costing him a few hundred more each year.
This fucking cunting fuckhead government. I just wish they’d all spontaneously combust. I’m sure the media do it to cunt us off – a picture of Rachel’s ugly supercilious grin and some caption along the lines of “Rachel Reeves to introduce new air breathing tax”.
Fucking shitstains.
7
There has also been talk about some sort of annual vehicle test as well. Of course we all know vehicles of this age or older are death traps on the road that no one bothers to look after. As usual it’s all about money, money, money, not safety, because if it was then they are chasing the wrong group of people, including me, TTCE, & many other responsible owners of these Classic Vehicles.
6
I spent £175 on a heavy-duty reinforced U-lock for my bicycle.
They stole the fucking lock & left the bike.
🚳
10
Mind you, some security devices are rather effective …
https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/b/bike-wheel-padlock-theft-bicycle-stolen-left-139912785.jpg
6
A unicycle with a flattie perhaps?
3
What sort of fool rides a bike to the station? Apart from the weather being frequently cold and wet there is the risk of being spread over the tarmac before you get there. On rare occasions I’ve used a train I get the wife to drop me off. If I was commuting regularly I would negotiate an account with a taxi firm.
Occurs to me I’m talking bollocks; I drive everywhere I go.
9
Once you start getting around by bike and bus it’s a slippery slope to veganism and trannyfication.
15
Gone are the days when you could take your bike on with you. Sit on a mailbag right next to it, light up a cigarette & open a beer.
7
You should see the bike racks at Oxford station, its like a sea of bikes.
4
Biggest one I saw was at Brugges Railway Station. Supprisingly many had been left unlocked.
5
Admittedly, these clowns did prosecute a friend of mine for urinating in a public place, when the toilets for that purpose were locked.
This no nonsense approach must have all the rape gangs, drug dealers, and people traffickers quaking in their sandals.
6
When asked about this further drop(off a cliff) in British policing in front of Trump, prime ninny starmer said ‘we have bike theft investigation in Britain ; we’ve had it for a very long time and are very proud of it’
So let that be it and all about it.
Fuck me, it occurs that the inventor of the point & click 100% accurate lie detector, if brought to market tomorrow, they/he/her/herm/hym/zir would be worth more than Musk before years end…
8
Just another item in a growing list which the police can’t or won’t act on, anything from shop-lifting and burglary to ensuring the safety of Israeli fans at a football match at Villa Park.
It’s much easier and warmer to sit in front of a computer eating biscuits and swilling tea, looking to see if somebody’s committed the heinous offence of making a joke about some cock in a frock, then strolling around to that person’s house to harass them about it.
Or of course, you could arrest the odd Jewish person for wearing a Star of David and acting ‘provocatively’ in the face of rabid pro-Plasticine extremists openly calling for jihad.
Soft option, two-tier policing in action in Britain.
Morning all.
15
Lardri di biciclette
The real reason for not investigating bicycle theft, is due to them being fat lazy bastards. Get cycling, get yourself fit and get chasing them.
5
Like these Sammy?
https://youtu.be/Qbp2LcGM5dY?si=USY261eFy6W1MZ_I
3
A unicycle with a flattie perhaps?
1
Oops! Wrong placement!
0
Surely JP’s penny-farthing can’t be that hard to find?
4
Only to ride.
3
Alas, LL, I’ve had to refrain due to a serious balance problem ( I kept falling over ) , wine with breakfast is not such a good idea after all, it seems.
5
The police can’t be bothered to investigate bike theft because cyclist in London are utter cunts.
Self righteous wankers who roll straight through red lights, ride on pavements and generally act the cunt.
See cycling Mikey and Jeremy Vine for evidence of this
9
There’s a lot to be said about cycle cunts jumping red lights, none of it good. Just another bunch of selfish, entitled arseholes in Britain 2025. Have a look at this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_kv4IYz2z0
Nothing that a few offical patrols armed with assault rifles couldn’t quickly sort out.
4
They can’t ride on the pathways near me as there are too many cars parked in their way. The lesser of the two evils maybe, because for most of the time they remain stationery. Trouble is though, in many cases there is no room for pedestrians either, so everyone has to spill out on the road, wheelchairs, bicycles & baby buggies included.
1
I can understand the police have their hands full beating up Joos. However, you would think Too Kweer’s green marxist cabal would encourage worship of the velocipede. If it is good enough for Peking it should good enough for the Milligoon. He could have a word in the police’s ear. Tell them to take the matter seriously. He could call in at the station to share a bacon sarnie.
It would also serve to bring back pride in one’s appearance to revive the penny farthing:
https://gr.pinterest.com/pin/417779302959540650/
That clown cunt Boris Johnson was keen on cycling at one time. Of course he is probably too fat and covid riddled to do any these days.
5
Don’t have time to trawl through CCTV
I can’t believe there isn’t a tech tool that can go through cctv and just pick out human activity, cutting down 8 hours of footage to something much more reasonable, how many bikes are left at the station and probably most are within a couple of hours in the mornings.
It’s not a case of not have resources, its the can’t be bothered like the fucking arbitrary £200 of shoplifting can’t be bothered.
Plenty of time to go through tweets though and investigate hurt feelings.
Maybe a policy of fuck off when some cunt complains that they were offended by someone saying they were born and bred in a particular town.
PS, cyclists are cunts however I do have sympathy for those who use them for work rather a nice little ride with 20 others
6
Overweight 5 foot tall man-hating women wouldn’t do much investigating anyway.
4
That silhouette should be a bantu. We all know who’s doing the thieving.
4
The Labour Party would be more useful if we could park our bicycles up the cracks of their arses. No need to lock them, no ones going to touch them with a bargepole.
19
Bike theft is a non crime.
I don’t want it investigated.
Fuck em.
Besides having your bicycle stolen is good for you.
Muhammad Ali had his bike stolen as a kid and in a fit of temper learnt to box, becoming the world heavyweight champion.
So having your bike nicked is character building.
Turns you into a sporting icon.
And keeps you out of my way you fuckin lycra deviants.
4
Hello Mis, Lycra is an excuse and you know it. Very few use it and its mostly lazy unhealthy car drivers who are wearing it, trying desperately to loose some weight and live longer. Run over some more of these illegals if you want to help.
2
so an odd fact,
British transport Police are 9,085 strong across the whole country , the MET has 33,201 in London.
I note that this is more of a London article, and I would side with BTP on this, go and have the MET deal with it!
Don’t forget the MET also has the city of London Police on their patch too which is another 998 officers.
I have not counted pcso’s or police staff in these figures I have just done boots on the ground bobby’s.
2
Public Service Announcement.
If you see something that doesn’t look right, text British Transport Police on 61016 and they will be pleased to chuck the fat cunt off the train at the next station.
https://www.binlabour.com/2020/02/can-nugee-make-it.html
See it, say it, sorted.
3
Seek it, sniff it, sorted. Cocaine on a train, with Kweer & chums.
2
To Ukraine, I forgot!
2
Bicycle Thieves.
The greatest Italian film ever made.🚲
Apart from any where Monica Bellucci gets her tits out, of course.
4
I saw a Raleigh Chopper in someones back garden the other day.
It looked tiny.
The best bicycle ever made.
Loved mine to bits.
3
Have you seen how much they go for these days? FS1E’s are off the scale too.
3
Im in a terrible mood 😡
Fuckin boiler packed up yesterday so no hot water,
This morning my key snapped off in the back door causing the missus to work from home due to not being able to lock it.
Gas engineer comes out,
Fixes the boiler,
Pump had packed up,
Then condemned our oven!!!
Carbon monoxide risk.
FFS.
I fell in a barrel of tits
Id come out suckin a black nudger.
Cursed by The Gods….
5
Do you honestly expect us to believe you shower or bathe and don’t cook the food you catch on an open fire in the woods somewhere? 🙂
5
Only in the colder months IY.
In warmer weather he bathes in the nearest running water and cooks nature’s bounty over an open fire, using a cunningly crafted spit.
3
That’s got Deliverance written all over it, JP.
The horror! The horror!
1
Not British Transport Police related, but I’ve only had 2 things nicked in my life (that I know of). One of them was my bike. A Raleigh Europa 10 speed. A Christmas present from my parents. Loved it. It was my mode of transport while I was a student. So pretty important and some cunt nicked it. I reported it to plod. Two things happened.
Plod explained there were bike thief gangs operating in the area. Apparently they show up in a van, some cunt opens the rear doors while another cunt jumps out, uses bolt croppers to break the lock, grab the bike, put it in the van and drive away. It all took seconds. Student campus areas were the hot spots. What utter scum filth.
The other thing plod said came from a time when the Rozzers were on our side. I was livid I’d been done like that and said something to the effect…if I’d caught them they’d be fucking sorry. To which plod said (pretty much word for word)…well if you’d chased them and they’d fallen over and injured themselves that would be unfortunate (ahem hint hint).
Plod had a rather large room at their cop shop where they stored recovered bicycles. I went down there regularly for weeks hoping my bike would show up. It never did. 40+ years later and I’m still pissed off about it.
5
Afternoon IY.
I haven’t had a bike stolen but a seat was nicked off my bike at school one day and I needed the bike for my afterschool job. So I had to ride this thing standing up desperately avoiding sitting on the seat post, like some fucking Elton John special.
Because of time walking with the bike wasn’t an option. I laugh now because it must have looked hilarious and I would have mercilessly took the piss if it had been one of my mates but at the time it wasn’t funny.
4
Afternoon LL.
I trust the day finds you well.
I can picture the scene. I expect your quads got a good workout that day. I do remember the seat theft thing along with nicking the front wheel. So you’d end up using the front wheel quick release to remove the front wheel then chain it to the frame which was chained to some immoveable object. And take the seat with you. All because of thieving pikey bastard scum.
With only the seat post for comfort, it’s amazing you didn’t succumb to The Gayness. Your quads kept you straight. Well done that boy!
1
I once had a bike nicked. The chief suspect was a local scrote who’s arse I’d kicked a couple of weeks previously.
A few months later he threw himself out of an upstairs window whilst tripping 🤪😜🤪👍👍👍
He suffered major brain damage and spent the rest of his days dribbling into his bin and shitting his nappy 😀😀😀
Still gives me a warm glow to this day. 👍
Get To Fuck
5
Bicycle!
Bicycle!
I want to ride my bicycle!
Sang a hysterical Freddy Mercury,
Proving sodomites love bicycles as a mode of transport.
No engine so relatively quiet for sneaking up on schoolboys.
Here he is
https://youtu.be/xt0V0_1MS0Q?si=ryf3rWPcK7l2
37aM
Kick all his spokes in
1
Dribbling into his bib, not fucking bin.
Paraplegic fucking phone.
5
Reckon the plod are fed up finding out the culprits are the usual suspects who have arrived by boat to avoid embarrassment in the stats. You get an idea of the problem when you see immigrant’s riding around town on bikes that are too small for them or the wrong colour!
Load of ol’ bollocks!
1