(A bit too short, but we’ll allow it because he is an annoying, over the top, ‘look-at-me look-at-me’ talentless cunt – NA)
A quickie.
Stating the Bleeding Obvious.
‘Alan Carr vows he won’t be funny on The Celebrity Traitors’
He certainly wont break the habit of a fucking lifetime unless mincing is your thing.
Nominated by : Cuntstable Cuntbubble
Good morning Cunters.
I always find it bizarre that this great big flouncy, handflapping whoopsie speaks just like Hartley Hare from Pipkins.
A poundshop Larry Grayson, certainly not funny as far as I am concerned.
Fuck off with you, great Jessie.
25
Can we see the evidence of when you were funny, al.
Gay-check
Weird looking-check
Talentless-check
Channel four contract- big fucking cheque
20
Twat.
I bet that he grew up completely normal until he decided to become gay.
Then the silly voice, daft expressions and mincing walk all had to be practiced to perfection.
Other guys, who also decide that they are gay, use cunts like him as role models.
Why can’t people just be gay and get on with it?
Why do they think that normal people have to know that they are gay, and the extent of their gayness.
Stick the idiot through an industrial wood chipper.
Good morning everyone!
23
Better to be “full on'” than be a stealth gay. At least we all know when to keep our ‘backs to the wall.’ I know because I was gay once, but I have put all that behind me.
14
This unfunny cunt comes on the screen, I switch over pronto. About as amusing as a terminal diagnosis. Quare twat, allegedly. Oh and a cunt to boot.
17
” Vows he won’t be funny ”
Why break the habit of a lifetime?
What puzzles me is why he keeps appearing on the idiot lantern at all.
16
He is the type of poofter who makes you cringe and wish that the laws on homosexuality had never been changed (to think – the added bonus of Streeting, Bryant and half of Starmer’s cabinet would be doing or had done 2 years penal servitude with hard labour, which would have debarred them from office).
It was unfair on those many men who found that nature had played a cruel trick on them, and never behaved in an effeminate manner, but certainly on every ship I served on there would be one screaming queen, flouncing around, calling every man “her”, deliberately trying to outrage, screeching and acting like an eleven year old girl. In an enclosed space they were not entertaining, they were a pain the arse – just as they probably HAD a permanent pain in their arse. I bet Alan Carr stinks of lavender perfume and pile ointment, probably already has a prolapsed rectum. When you look at that you can understand why all the public lavatories were closed down. He ought to take his “act” to the UAE. I wonder how many visits he has to make to the clap clinic each year?
22
I fortunately tend to have this sixth sense ability of knowing when utter codswallop is coming my way and this cunt is most certainly in that bracket. I don’t ever remember allowing or giving this twat any credence. I had to look up another unfunny annoying cunt I think is in the same boat and don’t know why called McIntyre. Maybe its their faces that turn me off them. I don’t even remember hearing their voices either.
12
Danny La Rue, Dick Emery, John Inman, Larry Grayson, Hinge and Bracket, Stanley Baxter, they were all at it back in the 1970s. It was an industry within an industry. How we all chortled at their sling-backed antics – albeit a little uneasily. Alan Carr missed the metaphorical bus and just looks and sounds like a cunt.
Good morning everyone.
41
While Kenny Everett didn’t particularly act like a mincer, but was funny as fuck.
29
And he got to ogle Cleo Rocas’ tits with impunity. The jammy bastard.
https://share.google/txkOeMaK7NdiQ9osc
9
A great comparison there, Odin.
When critics say there was no golden age of television, they’re talking bollocks.
Everett had a natural talent and air of lunacy that can’t be replicated.
And I don’t remember him once doing a sketch showcasing that he was as gay as a pink parasol.
16
And anyone who could get the character name, Cupid Stunt, past the tv execs for a 6:30 pm broadcast deserves legend status.
Even Barry Cryer told him he’d never get away with it.
18
Spot on, 20k CUTS. He did miss that bus but got straight on the other one and has been on it ever since.
If ever I decided to join a travelling fair the surest way to financial oblivion would be to open a shooting gallery with his nauseatingly fat poofy face on every target. Even Stevie Wonder and David Blunkett would come away with prizes.
13
Did you ever see Dick Emeries girlfriends.
0
I had a knowledge based job and understood and dealt with some pretty complicated matters on a regular basis. In later life I’ve developed an interest in popular science and understand some of the rudiments of, for example, quantum physics. Yet why we pander to this reprehensible cunt is further beyond my grasp than the distance from here to the edge of the known universe. I know that it’s not particularly becoming of me but I’d like nothing more than to punch the fat, ugly, grating-voiced and mincing cunt’s lights out. I fucking detest him/it.
I went to an all boys grammar school in the 1960s and 70s. In a declining industrial Lancashire town, it was not Eton or Harrow but we’d have dealt with his type of fat and grossly effete cunt with a degree of briskness and efficacy that would have put to shame the finest schools in the land.
17
Not a million miles from Carr’s rear end, self appointed [pompous fat poof Stephen Fry is apparently treading the boards as “Lady Bracknall” in the Importance Of being Earnest”, written by yet another fat poof Oscar Wilde.
6
Despite being a poof Oscar Wilde at least made a living from his talent as an author WC, although the gayness led to his downfall eventually. Half the people listed in this nom have no talent and live by selling their outrageous appearance and behaviour to television companies.
4
And born in weymouth, we will never forgive you speccy foureyes.
11
That’s not whey in his sloppy, mincingly wet-lipped slavering mouth.
11
It is particularly unnerving that this sort of person is allowed on the television and has not been locked up,for its own safety.
Once Khan’s Kaliphate is up and running this cunt definitely won’t be “funny” because it’ll be dead,although the ragheads who chuck it off the BT tower will likely have a good laugh about it later at the mosque.
Good morning.
14
Another cunt I can’t stand g. norton. I’ve had to forsake the evil twats programme from seeing and hearing the famous guests there are on it.
4
A duo I’d like to DecAnt down a bottomless well.
6
You know you’ve got it bad, when you allow inanimate objects like Roland Rat get to you.
2
I saw him on TV once, less than 30 seconds
I saw an ad for a show he was doing with Amanda Holden, bashing back doors in Italy
15
He would have loved that. How the hell do you pick two non entities to host a show. What were the twats thinking?
3
I gather this raving mincer and the televisual shitfest in question are currently popular amongst the hoi polloi. Not that I would know. So I read the first few sentences of the link to get myself up speed.
Apart from Carrsole the names Stephen Fry and Tom Daley appear, so ‘Celebrity Fudge Packers’ would seem to be more appropriate, subtitled ‘Whose cock is it?’ Each contestant has to slip his old man up the others’ shit chutes and the recipient has to guess its ownership.
Here’s a clue for Carrsole – if it’s the size of a tadpole and it’s inserted with a sweaty porcine grunt then it’s probably Stephen Fry.
14
Scream if it’s a whopper 😂
4
Leave him alone. He’s doing his part keeping the dumb dumb. He’d probably be very upset to read the likes of he comments above.
Everyone involved should take a step back and think about the harm words can do to a national treasure status delicate flower like Alan.
He’d probably need a week away from it all .. maybe a retreat with a showbiz pal who has some experience in hiding away from the general public.
And I for one endorse the notion.
Get on the blower. Alan … give Barrymore a tinkle …
14
It could be worse, you might have Stephen Fry and that other sodomite Tom Daley on the same program.
Hang on a bit…..
8
Any talk of mincers always reminds me of that 2005 Shepherd Neame, Spitfire Ale Bottle of Britain Campaigne, where two of their like are waiting for the local pup to open, with the heading “Bandit’s at 6 o’clock underneath.
10
This is what Alan Carr does:
He sits on the toilet and tries to force a shyt from his bumhole. He then squirts warm water up his anus to try and clear out the remaining poo.
Afterwards, another man will spit on his arsecrack and pen1s in an attempt to lubricate the anus. Following this, the man will ram his pen1s into Alan’s rectum, tearing the man’s frenulum and Alan’s rectal lining.
The man will then use Alan’s rectum to masturbate, ejaculating semen into Alan’s rectal cavity, mixing semen with poo, mucus, spit and blood.
At the end, Alan will lick and suck the remaining poo and spit mixture from the man’s pen1s, thus ending the activity.
Alan and other homosexuals call this ‘lovemaking’ and consider it romantic and the ultimate goal of their lives. Most do it anonymously with several different men per week and usually with the misuse of illicit and illegal substances.
12
A description both accurate and revolting Cuntrarian.
11
Well, at least Maidstone in Kent saw through this unfunny cunt and sent him packing. Well done you lot!
https://www.kentonline.co.uk/maidstone/news/get-ready-to-be-insulted-if-you-a45546/
3
Who is thus cunt?
3
I’ve always hated this fat blubbering mincing cunt.
Famous for being a poof.
OK, if someone is a doughnut puncher and has talent, then fair enough, Freddie Mercury, Laurence Olivier, George Michael, Derek Jacobi.
But famous and ridiculously paid for simply playing up to the gay caricature?
If a straight white comedian impersonated a phag in the style of Carr, they would be labelled a homopohobe and using gay stereotypes. Carr acts the way everyone thinks they are and he gets lauded for it. And, don’t get me started on that kerweir cunt from Coronation Street. He’s been doing the same shit there for years. Which is gossiping like a council estate slag and going ‘Ooooh!’ every other minute. Can’t fucking stand him either.
4
Being kweer is a career.
Apparently.
3
Teeth like a set of chisels.
Speccy, slimy,
Hes not the sort of arsebandit i can stomach.
Ive nowt against gays,
They have lovely cash that in the spirit of acceptance im willing to take off them free from prejudice.
If i was a gaylord id be like the original one
Quentin Crisp.
Handbag
Colourful neckerchief
Rouge an lippy
An big floppy hat.
Ohh ducky darling!!
4
Anyone who can tolerate being in the vacinity of Amanda Holden without wanting to punch her in the fucking face has to be a cunt of the highest order.
We have been forced to pretend tp accept these mincers, but Allan Car really grinds my gears
3
That Jimmy Corkhill was a great gayboy.
Theiving cunt like all scousers,
But a lorra lorra laughs
He went out with Fred the weatherman.
Theyd shed their colourful handknitted jumpers and bum the shit out of each other on Freds Canal boat,
Jimmy shouting
“calm down calm down dat hurts me ballonknot la”
Through the porthole window.
2