Nicola Sturgeon (32)

 

is a cunt.

Go on cunters, admit it. You hoped that you’d heard the last of the notorious Wee Jimmy Krankie look-alike after her desperate and spectacular fall from grace as Scotland’s First Minister.

‘Fraid not. The chunky little chancer is still seen hanging about Holyrood very occasionally, still trousering her MSP’s salary for seemingly doing very little. But lately she’s chiefly out and about on the promo circuit, desperately trying to drum up enthusiasm for her memoir ‘Frankly (or how I shafted Alex Salmond)’. No doubt stacks of these volumes will shortly be making their way to remainder bookshops and charity stores near you. Snap up your copy while stocks last.

But that’s not the worst of it, no. Get this; wee Nick Nick is talking about leaving behind the bagpipes and misty mountain land of her fathers, in order to seek some anonymity away from her goldfish bowl life in Scotland. Her persistent self-promotion notwithstanding, she’s claiming that the constant glare of being in the spotlight is all getting a bit much.

Whence might some solace be sought, I hear you ask? Perhaps lost among the teeming millions of Paris or New York, or in the quiet stillness of the Alps? Er… well no. Apparently Wee Jimmy, who has spent much of her life as a professional berater of England and the English, now spends a lot of her time in London, and is thinking of moving there. Dr Johnson’s noble prospect of that high road south does indeed beckon.

‘England is not yet a foreign country, would never be a foreign country, obviously even when we’re independent’ burbles Krankie, somewhat confusingly. Funny, but if Scottish independence is ever realised, here’s one Englishman who’s under the impression that England will indeed be ‘a foreign country’ to Scotland, just as much as France, Switzerland, or anywhere else for that matter. But then I don’t think that Sturgeon ever figured out just what independence for Scotland would REALLY mean in terms of its future status vis-a-vis the remainder of the UK. I think she thought of it somewhat in terms of the Markles’ ‘half in half out’ arrangement with the monarchy; keep the good bits, ditch the bad.

Personally I’m not enamoured by the prospect of some hypocrite who’s made a career of moaning, whingeing and bitching about the English moving south to take up residence, so as the wife would say, ‘get tae fuck Krankie’. Scotland’s fucking welcome to you.

the courier

Nominated by Ron Knee.

25 thoughts on “Nicola Sturgeon (32)

  1. A failure with a penchant for mysterious motor homes.

    A fake former husband,immediately jettisoned once the niceties of her political career collapsed.

    Her party a disaster,kept afloat by English wealth and unfortunate stupidity.

    Perhaps most galling,the direct spawn of Tony vermin Bliar’s crippling devolution policies.

    A midgęt toad aboard the tartan Gravy Train.

    Highland Oven.

    Good morning.

    • As you say Unk, another serious problem which can be traced back to Blair. I never could see the case for devolution. Now Rayner is promising more elected mayors. Why? Just another seat on the gravy train.

      • It will be a rest cure for “important” Labour MPs like that little poof Streeting when they invariably lose their seats (whoops, duckie!”) at the General Election. Little Wessy as Mayor of East London. That’s why dirty Ange wants more Mayors (though she’d rather have stallions).

  2. Someone who despises England and the English, yet wants to live here?
    Haven’t we got enough of those arriving in Kent already?
    Or in the House of Commons?

    • When the Reform Government start the mass deportations I’m hoping that, due to an administrative error, Kranks is classified as an illegal alien and transported to South Georgia.

  3. Scotland needs a monument to mark the Empress Nicola’s many achievements. It could celebrate Scotland becoming Europe’s drug death capital, educational standards in freefall, launching a ferry with painted-on windows or her superinjunction to prevent reporting of her lesbian affair with a Frog.

    Then of course there’s the motorhome and the lavender marriage. But for me I’d like to see Edinburgh’s Scott Monument pulled down (I’m sure Sir Walter must have written something mildly racist necessitating his cancellation) and replaced with a 100 foot high statue of female prison inmate Isla Bryson. Looking minxy in her blond wig and pink leggings with a boner bulge that would make even Mucky Ange wince.

    A fitting epitaph for Wee Krankie’s time in office.

  4. She is starting to look very butch and beefy. I reckon she is coming South to team up with Angela Eagle, so they can give demonstration bouts at the Lesbian Labour Ladies Wrestling Club, which, now that autumn is here is starting its 25/26 season at The Dyke Hall in Mincing Lane. Seconds away……

    • Indeed she is looking more and more chunky Mr B, as indicated by the pic up top.

      She earns the sobriquet ‘Legohead’ more each day as well.

  5. Fuck off you fishy bastard, please don’t choose my last vestige of England to pollute with your hypocritical bollocks. Go and annoy the Icelandics or something. Bloody politicians.

  6. Once in that trough feeding their boat race these detestable pieces of 💩 find it impossible to find the rim and climb out for a more honest way of living…piggy in looks and a massive hog in the mud …take the high road ya wee bint 🛣️

  7. I’m sure this poison dwàrf must have some kind of super injunction in place.

    No one can tell me that some intrepid journalist hasn’t been investigating rumours of a Lavender Marriage and Fish Suppering Frolics.

    Good morning 👍

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