Right. As usual I like to dial it back a bit to keep us all sane.
So today I am cunting Tupperware.
The other weekend I made 6 portions of chicken Thai curry. (Was fucking lovely, even reheated – a special recipe of people are interested I will share)
And I got my 6 containers out… 4 of which, the lid interacted with the body just fine.
The other 2, nah. They be popping lids and turning into rhomboids and all sorts of shit.
I threw them back in the draw in anger and fast forward to today, having eaten the curries. I now have 5 piles of warped, distorted lidless plastic bullshit.
You find a base. Yep. You find a lid. Yep. Do they match? Of course they fucking don’t.
Try to put the lid on: it resists. You press harder…One corner clicks down and the other end leaps off like a fucking spring trap.
You try again; sweating, rage building and suddenly the entire bastard thing collapses inwards like a neutron star and sprays your leftovers all over the floor.
Now your bolognese is on the tiles, your cat is trying to eat the Bolognese which will make him shit his pants and you are left slamming plastic rectangles together like some mong on a crystal maze timer. All you need is Richard O’Brien with a harmonica in the background and your set.
Don’t …fucking don’t…even get me started on the ‘warped by microwave’ elite tier of these arsehole containers.
They don’t just refuse to stack and oblige being quantised: they bend reality.
Try fitting a warped lid on a warped base and congratulations… Will you start the fans….please!
Fucking grim. And that’s without last week’s curry smelling like a adminals pie I cooked back in 1999.
Plastic pricks. Can’t rely on them, can’t stack them, seal them or depend on them, even when they are in front of you and they shapeshift when any heat is applied to them.
Should employ them as MP’s and save £90k a pop 😉
Nominated by Cunt Executive Officer.
Tupperware was always a con.
It was never about plastic containers.
That was just a cover story for the debauchery that went on at these ladies only parties.
Lots of fisting, carpet licking, tit sucking and dildo play.
You will note that men never got invited.
Absolutely disgusting.
12
Tribbing and scissoring too, I suspect.
Filthy.
5
I gave up on these overpriced lumps of crap years ago. I go to Poundland, and similar places and buy a pack of plastic containers or foil containers with lids, they come in various sizes and shapes.
Use them for batch cooking/freezing and once the soup/stew/sauce/whatever has been eaten, rinse and put in the recycling.
8
Agreed. It`s shite. Tried to re-heat a rather tasty missionary stew a while back and the bastard tub just melted over the fire. A fucking con.
🧑🏿🍳
14
Were you cooking, Sam, on one of those old black fireplace grates, we had in our kitchen just after the war. They were perfect. They had the first oven and hot plate similar to the microwaves of today.
5
My maternal grandmother was still using her black lead grate Sammy until she died in the winter of ’63. The house is still there but I imagine the grate will be long gone.
6
Thanks Sam, that’s my coffee gone over the monitor.
4
The first thing that came to mind, was to pile heavy books over the lids and leave long enough for you to think they don’t look wobbly. You could even warm them first to quicken my idea.
3
Apparently the late Queen, gawd bless her, was a huge Tupperware fan. Our present King insists on his cornflakes being kept in a Tupperware container that he inherited from his uncle, Lord Louis. His Majesty will have just enjoyed a bowl of Tupperware preserved cereal at Balmoral.*
* Fact checked by the late Lord St John of Fawsley
6
I heard they found Napoleons cock in the earliest Tupperware. I believe that to be bollocks.
6
Woodstock started as a tupperware party and got out of hand.
I like it,
My mam bought it in the 70s.
I dont have any though.
Its shite.
2
Lady Cuntgomery has a designated cupboard for her Tupperware and other shit.
I swear blind the fucking things are very close to being lighter than air, because if I breathe too heavily or move my hand too swiftly, the whole lot comes tumbling out with no actual physical contact.
It’s like playing Jenga, only with that game, you’ve got a chance of getting one or more blocks out before it tumbles.
No fucking chance with these Satan approved containers.
Bastard things!
6
Spot on FM.
Mrs Terry has an identical cupboard and it indeed has a hair trigger.
She blames the Far Right and I suspect she’s on to something.
To be safe,I’ve reported her to Prevent.
5
And the good lady is obsessed with those plastic water bottles, UT.
No movement needed to dislodge those.
Just eye contact.
I’ve started piercing the fucking things so they leak, but she simply goes out and buys another one.
4
Tupperwear parties were once the ‘housewives thing.’ Started by some chemist bloke called Earl Tupper, with products like Wonder bowls, & products with “burping seals. They still offer free gifts, & hostess rewards at social events today.
3
Mumsnet, eat yer heart out!
6
Uppercase 60s dream, all different colours.
Now cupboards full of cheap chunky food containers.
3
Large ones are good for draining oil from the MC and keeping nuts/bolts/fasteners from fucking off.
4
I buy the Gym Kitchen ready meals that come in something like Tupperware. Eat the food from them then chuck the container in the bin. Saves washing plates.
4
You can store your farts in Tupperware.
And send them to the council.
6
I wonder if Stacey Solomon would be willing to send me a fanny fart in some tupperware?
Can you ask her please, MNC?
I understand you both have the same agent.
4
I know for a fact that Stace (as i call her) does this already Thomas.
She sells fanny farts in Tupperware for £10
Thermos flask of her piss for £7
And a fresh turd in a cadburys Roses tin for £15.
2
Elton John used to sell semen samples for a fiver by farting into vials before he made it to the big time.
2
If it wasn’t Tupperware in those early days it was Avon and encyclopaedias. Now they’ve gone its just the god botherers. I tell them I’m holding a black mass and would they care to join us.
3
This is very well written and quite enjoyable, I should probably write something up about every time I touch a power tool I seem to end up stripping it and rebuilding it.
I went on holiday once and ended up fixing the Dyson in the cottage, and did a fucking strip down rebuild of a henry at my exe’s sons uni digs to clean a room for a deposit that was never returned!
3
Great idea..
https://youtube.com/shorts/7ho1KUOEkHY?si=X8ELsvBKRdr4Rb8V
3
It looks like Mohammad, Muhammad and Mahammed are going to have to find somewhere else. Sorry Oh Tinted Ones, no more Tupperware parties for you in the Bell Hotel, Epping.
Might I suggest there are some very acceptable mews houses in Islington where they might be relocated?
Failing that it’ll just have to be the Dorchester I suppose.
2
Just been listening to that report on the car radio Geordie. Fancy the judiciary making a decision useful to and approved of by the vast majority of the population! Astounding!
1
Yer da sells Acon?
0
Avon you prick!
0
Can’t we house illegals in giant tupperware containers.
I will be in charge of putting the airholes in.
Though I can be a little forgetful..
2
You really ought to be as generous as offering one hole, Bz…how else could you pump in the Zyklon B?
0
My mum had a tupperware party at our house in the late 70s.
The stuff was crap, but the array of MILFs that were there was a tonic.
All of them making a fuss of the young Norman, saying I was a lovely lad.
The lady next door but one was especially stunning. She smoked a cigarette in the most dirty way (from my point of view anyway) possible. A middle of the night Thomas the Tank over a tupperware party. But I had one.
1
I remember eating Angel Delight out of Tupperware.
I felt really privileged and modern.
Like i was one of the Jetsons or summat.
Everything was made of plastic in the 70s.
Notice its dissappearing?
Now if you want something made from wonder material plastic you have to go a paki shop or order something from china on Fleabay.
0
I learned that you really shouldn’t buy plastic dildos from Aliexpress.
Modelled on a life-size chınky winky, it doesn’t even touch the sides.
Of my urethra.
0