Hold the front page – gentlemen, if you have aged mothers in the care home, please restrain them, because I bring you BIG news!. It’s arrived! The 2026 Cliff Richard Calendar. Now 84, the Peter Pansy of Pop thinks we all want to see him posing in full colour. There are some very amusing comments in the piece – I will just pick out my favourite “I was buying his calendars for my mum in the ’80s – the 1880’s” – that gets the Boggs Award for Comment of the Week (the sender can have a 25% reduction on any film in the Boggs pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) Limited catalogue, if he writes in. I recommend Jess Phillips in “Hot Dildos” – thrills and spills with “Mr. Phillips” at the wrong end of her strap-on.
Seriously though, the ego of Anthony Blair’s former summer landlord is staggering. Who wants to see some old bugger (literally) coping with life in his rubber incontinence knickers, inserting a soothing suppository and zimmer frame. I just hope Blair, and indeed, Kweer, and his crop of Cabinet arse bandits buy copies – it might give little Wes the horn.
Not as serious as some of my cuntings, which are getting little support, I might add! Shame on you) but we all need a laugh and if you look at the pictures there won’t be a dry seat in the house:
Nominated by : W. C. Boggs
Well if some demented old devil woman (geddit?) wants to waste her pension on this crap then who is Cliff to deny her the opportunity?
And it’s Sir Cliff to you, Boggsy.
7
Cliff doesn’t just produce this calendar; this one’s a beard for his finances.
He also stars in a more discreet, ‘enthusiast’ calendar. Here’s February’s action pic:
https://share.google/DN2Lm4jltXqRZ8Wbm
Mostly safe pic.
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🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮
3
I have a theory.
There are straight people, admittedly fewer and fewer, who only like sex with the opposite sex.
There are homosexuals who only like sex with their own sex.
There are bisexuals who will have sex with either sex.
I believe that there must be non-sexuals.
These would be people that don’t want sex at all.
I think that Cliff is one of those.
He probably never wanks either.
Who knows? He might have had his cock and balls cut off.
He briefly went out with Sue Barker I think.
He was probably more interested in her tennis than her tits.
I doubt that he ever had a rummage around her clunge.
It just didn’t occur to him.
A wierd cunt.
Good morning everyone!
7
Morning TAC/all
I recall a very old issue of Viz where they said that if Cliff Richard was finally to climax after decades of abstinence, “the resulting jizzbolt would comfortably clear the radio mast on the top of the Eiffel Tower”!
8
An old joke that did the rounds many years ago –
Q. What’s the difference between Cliff Richard and the England football team?
A. Even the England football team manage to score at least once every 10 years.
5
@TAC, I believe they’re called ‘Asexual.’ Sorry but I can’t be arsed to confirm this tho.
4
Time to retire you old fart.
3
Yes a bit of a tosser, in it’s widest sense of the word, but he told the BBC to piss off so not all bad.
Never did me no harm, so ambivalent as to this cunting.
Mornin; all.
5
Who buys calendars these days, apart from 12 year old children who are struggling to find a suitable Christmas present for Great-auntie Ethel?
Even I use the diary function on my steam driven mobile to set up reminders for appointments and birthdays.
5
Point of order JP.
I think you’ll find it’s Great Uncle Ethel these days.
7
I stand corrected! 😁
5
I always buy the National Trust calendar each year with some magnificent landscapes. Sir Cliff (and Rodney) buy the National TRUSS calendar – there are money off cupons in there, for adult nappies and pile ointment
2
I know this isn’t saying much but compared to all the BBC presenters and stars who’ve been up to no good, Cliff Richard is a minor annoyance.
Nowt wrong with Cliff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgomTOOgl8M&ab_channel=CliffRichard
Good morning
2
I get Jim’ll Fix It vibes, once he is no longer with us. Pity those poor “house boys” in Bermuda.
0
Didn’t Our BBC fly a helicopter over his mansion and try to get him locked up?
Ah..here we are..
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-49576940.amp
What a bunch of cunts.
Good morning.
4
Hahaha, the BBC know all about kiddy fiddlers and pedalo files.
I think he fucked them off out of court. But hey ho he’s still a cunt for releasing mistletoe and wine.
I wonder if he ever played with Sue barkers camel toe?
8
New balls were called for…
3
Perhaps he could (re-)release a ‘silky’ duet with the Rev. Bris Chyrant, “🎶 We’re all going on a Bummer Holiday 🎵” recorded at the KY Blare Cottage Studios?
6
What Cliff is celebrating is the opposite of no longer having to send his shit calendar through the post anymore to check for bowel cancer, just like me.
2
Wonder who’s under the mistletoe in the December picture 😯…
3
Ive nowt against Richards.
Harmless.
Started out as a elvis impersonator.
Probably a bumboy,
God botherer
Tennis enthusiast,
Makes crap music etc.
But hes never offended my delicate sensibilities.
Although mistletoe and wine came close.
Least hes white.
7
Good nom.
Sir Cliff is the living embodiment of cunt.
A shallow, vacuous, sanctimonious, holier than thou fuck.
National treasure? National irrelevance more like. Mediocrity in action.
5
Perhaps Cliff Richard is just the product of the music industry’s imagination.
America had Elvis so Britain had to come up with something.
He couldn’t sing. It was all dubbed.
He never sold a record.
Although he has supposed to have had a number one record every year since the industrial revolution, nobody has ever brought one.
It’s all been a con.
I have never met anyone who has gone out and brought one of his records.
Nothing was ever sold.
I have never spoken to anyone who has seen one of his live performances.
Not surprising really as everything he allegedly produced was shite.
His so called concerts were cleverly edited.
Just him on the stage.
The thousands of adoring fans were actually footage from a Beatles concert.
The illusion continues with his calender.
Nobody will ever buy it, not even for a demented elderly relative.
But the story will be that it’s the best selling calendar for the year with sales outstripping all other calenders.
Just like Eastenders where it’s all imaginary nonsense which they can’t seem to kill off, so is Cliff Richard.
They have to keep his somehow relevant.
Don’t bother putting him as your choice in Deadpool.
He will ‘outlive’ us all.
4
Oh fuck, that’s me bollocks then. So that’s three who have cut a deal with the devil to piss me off.
0
My mam had a mate Dot, now sadly dead,
Who was a massive Cliff Richards fan.
Thought he was gorgeous!
Dead talented😳
I remember her going on about him at our house,
My dad said
“hes a puff”
She was dead upset hehehe
New balls please
6
A bit like my one and only ever ‘conversation’ pertaining to one Dale Winton…. a person of whom’s existence I had but a broad notion of, via (only)several several-seconds long examples of seeing him host crap whilst(me)television channel hopping over the years
A checkout lady, unbidden, initiated the exchange.
”Did you hear Dale Winton died?”
“Was he bent?”
** end of ‘chat’ **
jesus, I can just about see deal with pleasant cunts, but pleasantly banal is a step too far.
She did answer, by the way.
‘I think so’ was what she said.
6
What the fuck use is this google AI cunt for anything?
Just now. Asked it a simple question that a savvy ten year old would comprehend.
Was Dale Winton a bender?, I enquired of the supposedly super intelligent future of everything …
“No, the term “bender” does not apply to Dale Winton’s documented health struggles; he publicly discussed his significant period of depression, which was triggered by a bad breakup”.
3 links further down, Wikipedia sez DW ‘came out’ of the cupboard in his autobiography over 20 years ago.
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Q. Dale Winton, was he bent?
A. As a nine bob note m’lud.
2
I once saw Dale Winton in the HMV shop in Oxford Street. Very theatrical. I didn’t show that I knew who he was. I am sure that added to his depression
1
I hope he didn’t check out your arse when you weren’t looking, and then later that night (him) think about bumming you as his ‘inspiration’ while he had a tug …
Probably not.
I guess we’ll never know for sure, though.
1
Who the fuck would want a calendar of a raddled old cunt, I just look in the mirror each morning and check the date on my phone 👍
5
Like Clifford Richards my mirror has lightbulbs around the frame and smeared with kiss stains.
Is your mirror a car wing mirror you found at the side of the road Sicky?
3
It’s an old make-up mirror I stole from Suzy Izzard, I thought it might make me look lovely
5
You can thank Cliff for Wimbledon having their main courts covered, to prevent him ever singing there again.
4
I remember going to see him live a few times at the Brum Alexandra theatre and Odeon when I was a kid; just him and the Shads on stage, and fuck me, they were good!
Mind you, this was 1960, 61, 62… He’s long outstayed his welcome with ‘Mistletoe and Wine’ and other seasonal shite that he cashed in on.
Just put your feet up and enjoy your money, or better, get a couple of hot tarts in to give you a quick tremble while you’ve still got the chance, you cunt.
Morning all.
5
Went to see Summer Holiday in 62, thought it was great !! Saw it 60 years later…… my mate had a converted coach with bunks in it- shagging wagon.
3
Sorry, I cannot get on board with this one WC.
Cifff is a giant megastar who soars across the galaxy of British talent. His catalogue of massive hits outshines even those of Des O’Connor and Val Doonican!
I cannot wait for his next Christmas No1 smash about the baby Jesus and mince pies. Great stuff. Brilliant. He should do the yuletide M&S ads instead of the fat cunt.
Good morning, everyone.
4
There is only one thing worse than being boring,
And that is being Cliff Richard.
Fuck him.
4
Remember, old Cliff will be back on here fairly soon when celebrating ye olde turkey neck for xmas.
2
Well if he can still make some old girls get wet then good on him, one of the last enigmas. Cunting denied, until we find his hard drives.
3
I can’t really get behind this cunting. He is clearly asexual, so doesn’t feel the need to empty his nuts regularly. Those cunts at the BBC paid for trying to fuck him over and he got his own back.
He keeps old ladies happy and doesn’t seem to have harmed anyone. There are far bigger cunts out there worthy of our fire and brimstone.
4
Plus Devil Woman kinda rocks.
3
Wired for sound was sort of ok in an early 80s way.
1
Slim mop head old Cliff is only showing off and taking the plss out of fat old bald cunts who can’t manage to climb up on stage anymore due to being dead.
1
He needs to iron his neck.
Like a lizards ballbag.
1
“Look out! …. Clifffffff ….
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mJvJJaV6-Pc&pp=ygUZeW91bmcgb25lcyBsb29rIG91dCBjbGlmZg%3D%3D
0
The double vision picture of cliff in the link, sitting one behind the other was enough for me, probably both singing “We’re all going on a bummer holiday.” I am shocked that this cunt actually has any fans left that are still alive.
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