are cunts.
Well now, here’s something that you don’t see every day! Hollywood’s got a new superhero film coming out, and I’m sure that like me, you can’t wait for it to hit the big screen.
Put your hands together for ‘Fantastic Four; First Steps’, as we get yet another re-boot of, er, a re-boot. And with stunning originality, the plot focuses around the arrival of (cue growling synthesisers, roiling cloud effects) some alien cunt called Galactus, who for some reason wants to destroy the world. Again. As you do. Time for our heroes to step up once more and save the planet…
If the trailer’s anything to go by, this effort looks like a tacky, formulaic, and very tired final bid to save the franchise. Trouble is, we’ve been there and done that already, and we’ve all got the t-shirt. Oh, and purists will no doubt be outraged to note that in true Hollywoke style, the villain’s henchman, the Silver Surfer, has had his tackle nipped and is now female. They just can’t help themselves.
Well who knows at this moment if this will be a hit or a flop, but my guess is the latter. Superhero fatigue has set in good and proper I’d say, not to mention the fact that there seems to be something of a disenchantment in general these days where Hollywoke product is concerned. One thing I can predict with complete accuracy is that my hand won’t be going into my pocket to watch this. Enough already with the trailer.
Hollywood to me now seems utterly stale and stagnant, obsessed with re-boots, live action remakes and sequels, and full of virtue-signalling tossers who feel compelled to push agendas at the expense of the entertainment that Joe Public craves. Sadly I fear that the Fantastic Four will be one more nail in the coffin. Hollywood; the place where originality and creativity now go to die.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
That’s disappointing, I was expecting Rodney, Rachel from accounts, cum dumpster rayner and buffet buster lammy.
Nevermind, still with hollywierds record I’m surprised it wasn’t 3 pavement apes and a transbènder.
Galactus,that cunt has nothing compared to the Labour Party.
17
Perhaps Rodney could be Galactacunt, Bazza?
😗
5
Flame on!!
Thats what the Human torch used to say before erupting into a ball of fire.
Why?
Sounds gay.
Not as gay as
“up up and away”
that Superman says.
If someone kept bursting into flames hed be a social pariah.
And not be able to get insurance of any kind.
Lacks realism.
11
https://share.google/iv5tuweRqBARHNCcF
bit ducky
Morning!
4
Hehehe 😂
Morning Mickey
0
Handy if you fancy a fag and are out of matches though, Mis.
🚬
3
The one who can stretch his body was a brilliant American scientist effected by cosmic rays on a space mission.
One he finds he can stretch his body?
Starts to call himself…
Mister Fantastic.
Typical yank
9
Morning MNC/all.
It’s a shame that women don’t have elastic powers to re-tighten their fannies after giving birth.
It was like putting a cocktail sausage into a welly.
Shame the midwives don’t pop an extra repair stitch in there with a cheeky wink to the long-suffering husband.
But then they probably that the wife’s fanny has a ‘closing down, going out of business’ sign hung on it.
11
Morning Thomas 👍
Im just happy that they cant make their pussies burst into flames.
Stoking the fire!! 😁
8
As they say, be careful what you wish for Thomas. We had a friend who after giving birth they managed to stitch her up so tight her husband couldn’t get it in afterwards. They took her back in and opened her up a bit. Mind that was in the days when midwives weren’t allowed to do the sewing, it had to be done by an invariably male doctor. I suspect midwives, female ones anyway, have more idea.
7
Morning arfur…seems like a good excuse to put forward a case for backdoor fun…
8
Wedge an orange up her arse it takes the slack out.
4
Superhero fatigue set in with me when I was about twelve.
Decent films are very few and far between these days 😔
It’s fifty years since Jaws.
Love that film.
Good morning 👍
9
You got city hands mr Cooper.
https://youtu.be/-xQQIqAiTYA?si=msD3b-YXe1GJKGzC
4
” Here’s to swimming with bow legged women ”
😃
1
Modern movies, eh?
What a load of dog diarrhoea.
In the 90’s, we had Taratino’s best, stuff like The Usual Suspects, Se7en, seriously well-written stories that you actually had to concentrate to follow.
Now it’s just mindless slop, the film version of KFC and as AI marches onwards to replace them entirely, Hollywood and it’s leftie bumders and pædos will die a long-deserved death
11
Nail on the head Cunt Engine.
YouTubes Critical Drinker recently did a video on how Hollywood has produced absolute crap over the last twenty years, perhaps longer. Todays generation doesn’t have iconic films like you mentioned or a franchise like when I was growing up of Indiana Jones or Back to the Future (all subjective of course)
You can say a line or piece of dialogue from a film and you know who said it and even picture the scene. Now its just CGI generated horseshit and some arsehole in front of a green screen.
I hope you educated your lads in good cinema in their formative years and pointed them in the right direction. None of your ‘top shelf personal collection’ of course.
7
Morning LL…yes, most certainly. My kids have been bought up watching the Terminator, Aliens, The Thing, Robocop, etc. And proper original Disney cartoons.
Critical Drinker is indeed particularly good. If you haven’t heard of them, Ryan Kinel (RK Outpost), Yellow Flash 2 and Overlord DVD are also worth a watch.
5
Superhero films are thinly veiled gayness.
Men with big muscles wearing tight costumes.
Fantastic 4?
More like the Fruity 4 in my opinion.
Real men watch proper films.
Sort yourself out!
Good morning everyone!
8
Morning TAC…Hulk Hogan’s death this week reminded me of just how hetero wrestling is…a big, muscly, oily man in spangly tights with a big moustache ‘grappling’ with dozens of other men…nowt homo about that!
10
Morning Thomas.
Of course superhero films are gay.
They are made for a gay audience.
No woman is in the slightest bit interested in these films, or the slightest bit interested in the type of ‘man’ that watches them.
Women go for cosplay films when not watching soppy rom-coms.
For men it is a progression.
First they think of themselves as bi-curious.
Next they get a fascination for cocks.
Then visits to gay saunas to indulge in disgusting acts of depraved homosexuality.
Once they are totally out of control they then start seeking out superhero films.
It’s a disgrace.
11
Hear hear.
Children watch these films then grow out of them.
If adults are watching and more horrifyingly,enjoying such idiotic slurry it’s a certain bet they are either deranged or On The Other Bus.
In either case they should be placed in an asylum.
Good morning.
9
The mad scientists are also getting rid of top shelf clunge…
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cgeqe084nn4o
Oh the humanity!
5
What concerns me, and should concern all red blooded heterosexual males is what goes on in these sleazy cinemas that show these gay superhero films once the lights go down.
All manner of fisting, felching, docking and rimming.
Teabagging too, I suspect.
It wouldn’t surprise me if groups of several benders were forming trains up and down the aisles.
All bumming and getting bummed at the same time.
Except for the unlucky one in the ‘guards van’.
It’s not the sort of thing a gentleman should have to think about on a Sunday morning.
7
Your theory sounds plausible Artie,
But what about Batman?
Surely nowt gay about a wealthy man adopting a teenage orphan called DICK from a circus because of his acrobatic skills then taking him home to live in a secret cave below his house and dressing him in a mask and leather undercrackers?
11
I would like to re-boot all these childish cunts up the fucking arse.
5
Mainly due to the yanks making it all up about going to the moon in the first place. If it was true, they’d have every known criminal, child molesters, illegal immigrants, besides all other law breaking cunts living there out of everybody’s way.
5
I was disappointed with the Casio G-SHOCK line up. They created 4 new watched based off this soon off. All shit.
Come on Casio. Get yet fucking act together and do a historical collaboration edition.
I can imagine it now…G-Shock: the toughest watches for the toughest men.
The fantastic 4:
-Mao – Red metal strap and bezel with yellow face, accents accents and red hands.
-Hitler – Brown leather strap with, red bezel white face and black hands and accents.
-Polpot – blue band with a red watch and lugs, white face.
– Saddam -Brushed stainless strap with the word ‘Babylon’ across the clasp. Stainless bezel and case. Entire face is lume and glows in the dark. Black hands.
… Hmm. i need to go…where that number for Casios marketing department?
4
Pile of sugar coated wank….from a once great industry with proper actors/actresses replaced with CGI and special effects and wooden performers who are more concerned with virtue signalling and ‘influencing’ the air brained … Anyway it should be renamed the fantastic fourteen for the sake of inclusion of the LGBTQ+++++++++ crowd 🏳️🌈….hey mincey lube on 😆
5
If I was interested in cartoons and superheroes I’d watch Hollywood films. Or was 10 years old and liked tripe Disneyfied for morons.
I’m not. So couldnt give a fuck.
7
There used to be a programme on radio 4 called “I’ve Never Seen Star Wars” with intellectual guests explaining why. Wouldn’t say I was cleaver, but I’d never seen the fucking shite either.
5
I have never watched a Star Wars film.
Or Harry fucking Potter.
Or any Hobbit twaddle.
Fast and Furious?…… Stick it up your dung funnel.
If it hasn’t got Clint Eastwood in it where he is shooting people then count me out.
Except for the early St. Trinian’s films.
They were good.
11
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLRlY46ttfE
One of the greatest scenes in one of the greatest westerns of all time.
Would it even get made these days? Could it even get made these days?
3
Ive always suspected at some point id develop superpowers.
A supernatural curse
A strange meteorite
Exposure to a mystic crystal or toxic substance
A radioactive spider
Or some other common. Occurrence.
But im not going to wear a fuckin cape,
Or call myself captain Awesome or some yank shite.
And ill not necessarily use these powers for good.
Some kids drowning?
” Allah. help. Me!”
Ah.
One for Aquaman that
Nowt to do with me.
5
It depends who it is, Mis, If I try hard enough, evil shite will get their comeuppance. Otherwise who I feel are nonentities and don’t get a tuppenny shite about, are let off.
It even you want anyone got rid of, just give me a shout.
2
Does GIVE a …
1
What the fuck … Don’t give a ….
2
That toxic substance will probably be the out of date county cream paint you never talk about.
3
I have some limited exposure to AI at work and I reckon that within three or four years, AI will be so advanced, you’ll be able to input certain parameters like character sets, general storyline pointers and location suggestions and in the time it takes to make a cup of tea, the PC will have rendered the entire thing.
The possibilities are truly infinite!
My first film will be a re-writing of Se7en, where at the climax, Morgan Freeman shoots Brad Pitt in the leg and drives off with the box and, after unbuttoning his trousers, slowly lifts Gwyneth Paltrow’s head out with a sinister smile.
11
I hate thst Morgan Freeman.
All those dead flies on his face.
Puts me off me tea.
In the Shawshank redemption where Tim Robbins has him find a rock that doesn’t belong there?
Itd be a note
” those flies on your face always disgusted me.
You deseved to be in prison.
Your a disgrace”
Go fuck yourself Andy Dufree
6
On another note Thomas, they’ve taken away Chaturbate and Xhampster away from me, unless I show my mush and that I’m old enough to watch. How do I get round it.
2
Sammy you need to download Tor browser.
1
Just realised what you meant, Thomas, that’s after I’d given them my information. Think I’ll have to do without due to not trusting them. Thanks again.
0
Hollywood needs filmic geniuses like me. They need to turn away from fantasy comics and give the public what they want – real sex and violence – make it big, make it authentic, and shocking – I have some brilliant scenarios for them – take my latest project – The Mean Streetings. A demented quare mothers boy, undergoing conversion therapy, kills his husband, Joe Dancey, and hides the body in his employers garden – then the rampage begins. He phones up several female workmates and tells them he is worried about his career, and gets himself an invitation to call on them. Jess Phillips, Sugartits Cooper, Rachel a former bank employee, Angela Eagle, portly tart with a heart Emily Thornberry. After each visit the woman is found stark bollock naked, all strangled with a stocking (part of Wessy’s own collection), each one arse-raped. His final victim is his boss. He calls on Rodney to confess, only to find Rodders prancing around in frilly knickers, stockings and suspender belt, and in an orgy of sex and violence Rodney goes the same way as the women. Will Chief Inspector Peter Mandy Mandelson, who has been put in charge of the case,manage to stop any more killings, or is Mandy in as much danger as the other victims?. Only time – and the budget for nylon stockings – will tell.
That is the sort of film that will lure the public back to the cinema again.
Give me the money and we will start shooting tomorrow.
6
I’m not sure my love dungeon has the capacity to film all that televisual wonderfulness, Mr Boggs.
Never mind, we’ll fit them all in somewhere, no doubt.
5
You need good characters in a film for it to work.
My favourites
1) Dirty Harry
2) Quint-Jaws
3) Tuco – Good the bad and the ugly
4) jake the poacher-Withnail
5)colour sargeant Frank Bourne-Zulu
6) Danny and Peachy – the man who would be king
A pleasure to watch.
Added to the film.
CGI? Fuck that.
3
Could Go Insane. Mis.
2
Which one of the Marvel Cinematic Universe 40ish(?) movies did I like best?
The one that started it all.
Iron Man.
Why?
Only one of them I watched.
4
Ive seen a couple.
The worst was Ghost Rider.
Starring that little talentless nepo cunt Nicholas Cage.
Hes playing someone meant to be in their early 20s.
He does this by. Wearing a ill fitting wig that Di Abbott would baulk at, and massive glow in the dark false teeth.
Hes a absolute cunt. 👎
4
I once sat in the passenger seat of Nicholas Cage’s orange Lamborghini Countach, … without actually wanting to in the first place.
But that’s a story for another time. 😆
Can I add Robocop and Clarence Boddicker to your/the list for an entertaining movie with an absolutely standout performance.
And in particular his Oscar worthy delivery of
‘Bitches, leave’.
3
ha ha The cunts online cunts rulebook : give me 20 upticks by midnight & I’ll tell the Cage/Lamborghini story (which is pretty short as my tales go, so there’s that) .. but give me 40 and I’ll keep it to myself 😄
2
I passed one of those huge billboards the other day with an advert for the latest reboot of Superduperman.
‘IT BEGINS’ it screeched in big letters.
Yeah, for about the hundredth fucking time. Wish they’d give it a rest. Can’t remember the last time I actually went to the flicks to see an American film.
Morning all.
6
There are some great old American movies, Ron …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIaj7FNHnjQ&t=4s
… good clean family fun.
They don`t make them like that any more.
🍿
3
Couldn’t agree more old son. Here’s another classic clip…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9glvXLW1tw
2
I`m guessing the token nigġer is the one who looks like the elephant man?
🐘
3
They ran away free Elephant Man.
1
I’ll say this; I’ve never seen a more pathetic looking version of The Thing than the one in this flick. The original looks like ten tons of rubble cobbled together.
1
A kids film, aimed at adults…who are, well, still kids.
In other words…modern day, bearded, tattooed, drainpipe trouser wearing, lager drinking cunts
3
Let’s go back to 1945 and start all over again.
2
Sammy @ Let’s go back to 1939……
Briiing briiing ! ” Hello. That you Adolf ? We’ve considered your proposals and agree that you can have Yoorp, as the Yankees call it. We’ ll keep The Empire 🇬🇧 and everyone else can Fuck Off.
Make sure you give Ivan a damn good thrashing, there’s a good chap.
Give Eva my fondest regards.
Toodle-oo. ”
Winston hangs up
5
You’re right Jack, I was thinking of correcting everything, where we should never allowed Charlie to have a go at us. I was also thinking of myself and my dad would’ve got his cock out earlier and that would mean I might not be here now.
0
Thank goodness I’m not a child and don’t have to watch this endless crap. Presumably, there is a woke message, probably something to do with “Earth, maaan” or the environment, and it no doubt is peppered with tokens.
2