Are cunts.
The wife’s going out tonight with her pals, so earlier on she got me a Pukka steak and kidney pie for my tea.
Now please be advised that if you’re considering buying one at any time, the box will promise you ‘layers of crispy puff pastry, minced kidney and tender steak; a rich gravy, and prime cuts of meat’. It will also feature a piece of a sliced open pie, packed with what look like mouth watering chunks of steak.
Prepare yourselves for disappointment however. What you’ll get is most likely what I got; a gravy and cardboard pastry pie. Inside the hard but brittle casing I found a nasty thick sludge with what I think was a little shred of kidney. Of those succulent pieces of meat pictured on the box there was not a trace. Not a fucking sniff.
As you may imagine, this disgusting mess was quickly consigned to the bin, and I rustled up egg, beans and chips with toast instead, but not before I fired off a salvo to the makers of this rubbish, telling them exactly what I thought of their nasty shit. It won’t gain me anything, but at least it helped to lower my blood pressure.
Pukka Pies? More like Fukka Pies, the robbing cunts. Yuk! Caveat emptor!
Nominated by Ron Knee.
I have tried one of their plain steak pies Ron and it wasn’t too bad. I couldn’t eat kidney though – not offaly me – but mention of the fact that mince is in the description you can be sure Nurse Streeting, if he is reading ISAC will be buying one for his hubby tonight
13
Is there any greater crime than a disappointment pie?
Not to me.
Ive never had a pukka pie
Im strictly Hollands.
I dont commit adultery.
Pukka is suspiciously what spitty dinner lady Jamie Oliver says
So id be worried hed gozzed in it.
I would tell mrs Knee not to buy them anymore and to nip the chippy for 2 hollands meat n potato pies in future.
Dont fanny about with a plate they come in luxurious tinfoil trays, eat straight from that.
And get some chips too.
14
Steak and kidney pudding is divine.
Especially if handmade.
That big manky crust in the picture doesn’t look right to me?
Looks like something peeled off John Merricks forehead.
Pukka? =fukka
11
Theyre made in Leicestershire and have ‘company values’
Alarm bells ringing
And owned by unilever.
Leistershire, so no doubt filthy ethnics mauling them?
Using iqbals false teeth to put the pattern on the crust.
16
Or as my dear mum calls it mnc, kate and sidney, daft bint.
3
The wife makes a food of the gods S&K pie. A pound of mince half a pound of kidneys mustard mash with peas or beans. All my diplomacy cannot convince her to do a S&K pudding.
3
MNC@. You’ve been reading my mind, again 😁
I’ve just read Ron’s excellent nom and my first reaction was that there is no greater crime than being served a duff pie.
Good job I read the comments, as you have already made this clear.
You alright ?
it’s a sweaty bollock day today 😐
Hope you’ve got some of that new fangled arse, cunt and cock spray ?
Don’t want you stinking out customers houses 🏘️
If you’re lucky, some of them might give your nether regions a sniff.
If you’re really lucky, they may be women 😂
LOL.
Afternoon MNC / All
8
Afternoon Jack 👍
Ive got the day off today 😁
And im glad, its hot as hell.
Dogs asleep under a fan in the front room
Im watching Jack Hargreaves and drinking vimto.
Cool as fuck😎
9
Snake and Pygmy.
9
Bravo MNC. Nothing like having a day off !
Our Hound is in a darkened room, snoozing. Took her out early doors, so she’s had some exercise.
I’m continuing my mammoth task of turning the shed into a summerhouse.
Keep doing a bit, then having a minute.
I’ve been a bit hampered this last ten days or so, impaled my arm on some fucking bamboo, swelled up like a balloon 🎈 and was red as fuck. Been oozing pus for a week 🤮
After loads of Dettol, Sudocrem and plasters it’s about the size of a sparrows egg now.
Got it on the run 👍
Meanwhile, Ethel is doing fuck all 🙄
Enjoy the Vimto
5
Duff’s the word Jack; as I said, a tiny shred of (what I assume was)
kidney, and not an atom of steak.
Naturally Fukka Pies couldn’t be arsed replying to the complaint I fired off. Well that’s ok; now I just go around telling anybody and everybody who’ll listen that their pies look like diarrhoea inside a cardboard box.
Cunts.
Afternoon all.
8
Take a permanent marker pen to the supermarket Ron.
And let your creativity flow 😅
Good afternoon 🌞 👍
6
It was typical of the missus WC, bless her.
I particularly asked her not to get ‘and kidney’, but she still came back with that. Not that it mattered ultimately, as there was fuck all by way of either steak or kidney in the cunt
6
Pictures on packaging should be done by the trading standards, never look like that.
Whether its pies or politicians, trust your eyes only..
11
Perhaps it might be an idea to eat politicians. Just think of scrag end of AnalEase Dodds, breast of Lisa Nandy, or belly of Thornberry, Abbott’s black pudding or minced cabinet. You could bung them all in a tasty piecrust. I’d draw the line at Jess Phillips though – not fit for human consumption – you’d never get your teeth through her.
7
But you could use hers Mr boggs, those can bite through steel cables.
She was the inspiration for jaws in the bond films.
8
“Minced cabinet”..
I agree,put the lot through an industrial mincer,no doubt thereafter straight to the Pukka Pie Shit Filling Dept.
What a mess.
Good show Mr Boggs.
6
100% agree, Barry.
If the content doesn’t resemble the picture, they should be prosecuted.
0
I was thinking of getting another steak pie, but having read MNC’s thoughts on the matter , I don’t think I will.
8
I once bought a variety pack of Snaktastic® crisps in Lidl.
One sealed, unopened pack was just air.
Surprisingly, it tasted better than the ones with actual crisps in.
🥔
13
I couldn’t eat offal, or anything that came from the inside of an animal. I’d sooner have an egg!
The factory is here on the Island. If you were to visit you’d be ill.
I saw a block of matter about 600mm Sq oozing blood and I believe I saw an eye looking out from it. That’s the raw material for the process.
Puke-pie? no thanks.
8
What island Ray?
Island of Dr Moreau?
Skull island?
7
I’m absolutely never going to eat another one Ray. I think I feel a bit sick now, even though it is ages since I ate my one. I will stick to cheese and tomato sandwiches in future.
7
I wouldnt feed a mass produced pie to my dog. There is no way of knowing what lips, dicks and arseholes are in them.
10
Hey CC sounds like the name of a gay club.
2
I have a pie shop near me, very popular and all made on the premises.
I have on occasions had a pukka pie, I can’t say they are crap, maybe average.
10
I really should learn some basic cooking skills. I can do toast. The kids reckon if their mother dies first I’ll go down with scurvy or rickets or beri-beri.
8
Beri-beri. Two of your five a day.
5
Tried a Pukka Pie about 5 years ago. Total rip-off.
It made Turkey Twizzlers seem like food of the gods.
PS: Jamie Oliver is a detestable, fat, down syndrome mong.
12
I don’t mind their steak pies but the fresh ones not frozen. All the chippies in Notts have sold pukka pies since I was a kid.
5
Leicestershire’s finest!
To be honest, they’re only supposed to be eaten at the football after a few pints.
6
Indicative of the rapid decline of the UK.
Pies made Great Britain great.
And they were fucking good at making them.
Obese, ruddy faced women working away in the scullery, cooking delicious pies. Full of meat and gravy. Covered with an amazing crust or boiled in suet.
The fucking cunts at Pukka Pies should be taken outside and shot.
What they are doing is nothing short of treason.
Don’t get me started on the cunts who produce the pies for the few remaining pie and mash shops in London.
9
Goddard’s in Greenwich shut years ago and it now…a McDonalds.
I used to love their steak and kidney pie. Puff pastry in an earthenware dish, with two scoops of mash and gravy for £4.50.
Food of the gods it was.
9
a proper pie has to be out of a container and have not only a top, but sides and a base…otherwise it’s not a pie. Just a meat stew with a lid on it…that’s not a pie.
Always ask this in a pub or restaurant when it has ‘pie’ written on the menu…….young waiters and waitresses look bewildered, and probably think I’m a cunt, but I won’t eat a stew with a lid on it as a pie. Pastry or suet is the best part IMO
3
Full of meat and gravy. Covered with an amazing crust or boiled in suet. Are you talking about the women or the pies?
5
I treat myself down the pub occasionally to their Landlord pie, steak and mushroom, cooked in ale with a puff pastry top. It is about fifteen quid or so with veg or chips but I think that’s ok.
9
I think that the landlord is a robbing cunt.
15 quid for a pie with a few vegetables?
He must be A-rab.
10
As to my earlier post, it’s steak not mince ffs
3
I used to go to a little farm shop in Kent for their home made steak, Guinness and mushroom pies.
On my last visit, you can imagine my horror to find that the pie department had been outsourced to some pie manufacturer in Tonbridge.
Their pies are now, somewhat predictably shit.
6
I dont like it when they put silly shite in the pie.
Chicken and tarragon
(whats a fuckin tarragon? Does she mean ptarmigan?
Ricotta and spinach
Try it on Popeye im not keen
Curry🤮
Surely id order a curry if thats what i wanted?
Artichoke, feta, caramelised onion, fuck off.
Im a Englishman 🇬🇧
8
Tarragon? Didn’t they ride dragons in game of thrones.
8
Dunno Baz,
Henry. The eighth was married to that Catherine of Tarragon.
10
Only eat white meat along with fruit and salads.
6
…..bet your shits just slide out Sammy?
24
I once purchased a Ginsters cornish pasty. When I bit into it, I found it only half full, not what was depicted on the wrapper. I had found the Sleepy Hollow! Enough room for the mouse from the film to be hiding inside.
12
Ginster’s tis shite m’lud. Fucking awful fayre.
0
I was violently assaulted yesterday.
On the allotments.
By wasps.
Didnt see the nest,
They live in paper houses like japs,
One stung my arm another my leg, then my ear.
Took me a second to realise what was going on.
Crazy bastards 😡
Totally unprovoked.
Round 2 tonight.
Theyre getting a wake up call.
See how hard they are when I brick their shitty paper house while theyre in bed.
15
Petrol bomb the little bastardś.
8
Make your own napalm with Vaseline mixed thoroughly with a splash of unleaded; not too much unleaded but enough to make the Vaseline workable.
Flick great globs of it at the nest and then finish of with a long, lit splint of wood.
Very satisfying.
8
Send in some B29’s, low level with incendiary cluster bombs.
Worked on the Japs.
7
Get stuck in Mis.
Give the nasty little fuckers one from me. Fling a Fukka pie in there while you’re at it.
10
Ruining British pies is a Cunts Trick.
Treason in fact.
Think on.
8
Bet mr Starmer has never eaten a pie.
The little fanny would dislocate his jaw.
Be rushed to hospital for a stomach pump.
Hes going into shock
10ccs of rocket salad stat!!
8
I’ve never had a little fanny pie.
4
Which pie would you like?
Steak and kiddely
You mean steak and kidney.
That’s what I said diddely.
Actually, their chicken and mushroom variety isn’t bad, I guess.
If you are in to produced by machine pies though give a Tesco finest all butter pastry steak and ale pie a go, not too bad for a mass produced piece of crap.
5
Apologies Major.
I appear to have repeated your comment further down the thread
3
No worries Herman, actually, yours was better composed.
2
Not so sure about these Hollands Pies.
https://www.google.com/search?q=hollands+pies&rlz=1C1CHBF_en-GBGB1154GB1155&oq=hollands+pies&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIJCAEQABgKGIAEMg0IAhAuGK8BGMcBGIAEMgcIAxAAGIAEMgcIBBAAGIAEMgcIBRAAGIAEMgcIBhAAGIAEMgcIBxAAGIAEMgcICBAAGIAEMgkICRAAGAoYgATSAQkzNDkxajBqMTWoAgiwAgHxBTpUEO_tUAu98QU6VBDv7VALvQ&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#lrd=0x487b9932153ad455:0x1a147be391d3e1c4,1,,,,
The only way forward is to make your own at home. Not exactly difficult – you can even buy rolls of shortcrust or puff pastry in the supermarket, save the ballsache of making your own.
9
All the shite foods you’re all complaining about must have too much salt. Due to my age Aviva healthcare have been helping me with what I eat. They help you to avoid diabetes and with me being on the verge of it, I’ve managed to avoid it when Aviva left me to cope by myself.
4
Hollands pies are the reason there’s no cats in Accrington. Or rats, mice and roadkill.
11
Mrs M is just bringing Miserable around with some smelling salts after he fainted – in a manly fashion, after reading that.
9
It’s funny that, but around our way there are always loads of notices up about missing cats. I even saw one about a missing tortoise (‘Speedy’ by name) once.
There are also a few Chinese and Indian restaurants in the vicinity, not that I’m implying anything you understand
7
Sorry to hear your Pukka wasn’t pukka Ron.
If you want more meat in your pie then buy Linda McCartney…
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/vegetarian-pies-laced-with-meat-1556546.html
4
I worked for a pie manufacturer once, Ginsters, we were out in the veg store where it was bloody freezing in the winter. To warm our feet we used to go in the pie vat room and get our mate to open the lid on the vat, then sit on the edge with our wellies in the pie mix – lovely.
Anything we found in the spud pallets went in the pasty filling mixers, dead dragonflies, mice, etc.
In short, beware of factory produce.
9
Incidentally, if anyone discovered an Airfix 00 scale soldier in their tin of Ambrosia creamed rice pudding, circa 1996…Sorry.
4
Friend of mine who suffers from a speech impediment went in to the local pie shop and said
“Can I have a pie please”
Shopkeeper asks “what flavour?”
“Steak and Kidileye” comes the response.
Shopkeeper says ” surely you mean kidney?”
Friend says “that’s what I said didileye”
Sorry about that
3
The Fray Bentos pie that comes in a tin, are for single men to carry around as a status symbol like a badge of honour to let women know that they are pathetic human beings who need looking after.
6
They have gone downhill too and are now £3 a pop. No meat chunks at all, no kidney either. Cunts.
1
The Fray Bentos pies used to be pretty decent, but I haven’t had one for yonks.
Sounds as tho they’ve gone the same way that Fukka pies have.
The word will get around on both fast enough. People aren’t going to pay an increasing price for an increasingly inferior product.
0
Chukka pies
3
Oh dear talking of pies, bob villain aka fruit pastille Robinson barley has just received a custard pie to the face, and has been dropped by his agency and manager.
I heard you want your career back, shut the fuck up.
7
🤣🤣🤣
0