Old Moaners


Moaning old cunts.

Are, well, Cunts!

Growing up, if a ball strayed into the wrong garden the house owner would threaten to stab it next time it fell in although no balls were ever stabbed, but old Jimmy over the fence got more and more beetroot coloured every time.

Now we have codgers moanning about the mere sound of people exercising/having a laugh instead of being out stabbing each other.

Now I have never and will never played Padel, or tennis in my life, Badminton is a real mans sport.

But old farts comparing a ball and bat to the somme, I just wish they lived near me so they could compare my summer bbq smoke and jungle music with a tribal feast which lasts 48 plus hours, and tell them they are next on the grill if they have anything to say about it.

Telegraph.

Nominated by : Cunt of the Isles

48 thoughts on “Old Moaners

  1. @Admin, I did NOT give you permission to use a picture of my husband! 😂

    It was in the public domain, deary. ISAC lawyers are on standby in case you want to make something of it – NA. 😂

  2. These old moaners ought to follow the example we set here on IsAC.

    Won’t catch us moaning about anything. 😂

  3. I’m a moaning old fecker. Why can’t people go to the park I’m helping to pay for instead of making loads of noise in their gardens?

    • The cunty kids next door booting the football as hard as they can.
      That noise and the dumb basket ball thud fucking thud…..

  4. As ive gotten older ive grown to hate the sound of childrens laughter,
    Or people having fun.

    “mister miserable can i have my ball back please?”

    Says cute little Jimmy next door,
    His cheeky little smile beaming at me,
    Gappy now hes losing his milkteeth.

    Third time this week the banana footed little cunts hoofed his ball into my flowetbeds.

    ” can you do headers Jimmy?
    Ill throw it ovet and you head it”

    Jimmy assures me he can indeed do headers,
    And is jogging on the spot in antisipation.

    “ready?”

    Yes hes ready.
    “1….2….3…..oh sorry that was half a paving flag!”

    Some lessons stay with you.

  5. If you want to hear REAL moaners listen to the “voice note” leavers on Talk Radio (“Tooorrrk” as the stentorian tone of the announcement has it). They all sound like stage Cockney taxi drivers “‘I mate it’s Bill of Battersea here, tellyu what gets me……….”.

    Though I agree with the outlook of the station, so many of the presenters and contributors, not to mention the frightful cheap adverts, with the gabbling tart talking at twenty to the dozen……” terms and conditions apply”, and adverts for car insurance and lotteries). I try the station from 6 a.m. but I am fatigued by 8.00 . Perhaps moaning is best done in writing. Good morning

  6. A vicious thorn hedge surrounds The Rookery.

    Many a child has run home screaming for Mother, after plunging their hands in to retrieve a ball.

    Poor little pinkies full of thorns 😃

    Cracks me up every time 😁

    Good morning 🌞👍

  7. Give over….you can’t beat a good old moan, it’s what you get up for nowadays, let’s face it you’ve got a plethora of subjects in good ol’ blighty to set your sights on for a good session…meldrew wouldn’t stand a chance against me in a shootout…amateur 🤬

  8. I moan about people playing that stupid fucking tennis game on the beach.

    Do they have this in the UK?

    Two fucking idiots with huge plastic ping pong bats, hitting a plastic ball at each other.
    No nets, no court, no points and no rules.

    Just the constant tap, tap, tap of the ball going back and forth between them.

    The stupid game can go on for ages.

    Just lie in the sun, Get in the sea or fuck off and have a beer at a chiringuito, you annoying cunts.

  9. I like a good moan it’s a right of passage into senior years and no young upstart can take that away from me!

    • Who cares.
      We’ll all be brown bread long before then.
      Britain nowt but a Chinese colony.
      Ruled from Beijing.
      Inhabitants forced to speak Mandarin.
      Mudslimes used as slave labour.
      Always look on the bright side of life…

  10. Closing the windows and curtains and sitting in the dark curled in a ball on the floor muttering and grimacing at every ‘grunt-thwack’, sounds like the onset of mental illness. How long before a deranged neighbour, driven to insanity, goes on a killing spree – “Several Padel players slaughtered by deranged grandmother wielding Kalashnikov”.
    I feel sorry for the night shift workers though.

  11. My life is shit. I’ve got no friends. The family all hate me. The neighbours look down their noses at me. I’m always skint and I can’t afford the odd holiday or small luxury. The car’s always breaking down, the house is freezing in winter but still costs a fortune to heat. The roads round here are full of potholes but the Council Tax keeps going up. Third World dross are moving into the area. The shops are all closing and the pubs have been converted to mosques. Everything has to be bought on line which is a scammer’s playground. The missus barely tolerates me. Have you seen the price of everything these days?

    Ah well, mustn’t grumble.

  12. I’m an old cunt and not miserable in the least. There are few things I enjoy more than taking the wife and grandkids tin McDickheads for an unhappy meal.

  13. I try to restrict my moaning to what’s justified and then I try to look behind the problem for the explanation at root. This nearly always comes down to politics. Sometimes I think all the MPs are arseholes.

  14. I live in a row of elderly people who live alone and I’m one of them. I unfortunately have a couple next door to me who are half my age and prefer to inconsiderately sit out the back and talk on their phones and chat, right close to my open window now its summer. I’ve recently come up with the idea of using my iPad that plays groups of nonstop inaudible talking and it seems to have done the trick of masking my neighbour’s and stopping them at their own game. I don’t mind listening to it become I’m making it. Once they stop I switch it off. They can’t complain to me when its they who are the inconsiderate ones.

  15. I hit a paywall about 4 lines in, but was already bored so it saved me a minute or so, I guess.

    So that constitutes a news story for the Telegraph nowadays, eh?

    ***

    People are annoying cunts. That’s the species. ‘Most every cunt hates some percentage of the rest of it. I currently float about the 80%(on a charitable day) and 90% level, myself. Those are highly-considered rough numbers.

    I live by a simple rule. Care the same amount about some other cunts problem(s) as that self same cunt would probably care about yours. It’s a real time-saver in this finite earthly existence.

    Caveats : I pulled an semi-conscious cunt from a fire once, (industrial explosion) and spent nearly an hour helping at a roadside accident another time but some things are a jot more ‘act now, regret the time you lost at it later’ scenarios.

    ‘Are you sorry you saved the young lads face(from grafts)? … or helped the old (she was 82) lady driver, Cuntemall?

    I wish someone ELSE had had what it took in the scenarios, and stood up instead, so to speak, but gawping fucking idiots were all that were around both scenarios.

    But I feel better about corvids(crows ravens etc.) that were in mortal trouble that I rehabbed & released over the years than the *people* in those 2 examples there.

    Please don’t mistake my rambling above with moaning … my complaining stems from pure derp-down hatred .., there’s a difference. 😉

    • *deep-down …

      … I might add that rescued wildlife, specifically birds, really does/do act more grateful for the help than selfish people ever do, .. Mr On-fire, and Granny-in-the-ditch there both being examples of that. MNC told a story on here once, of helping some old geezer who was heart-attacking in the woods, for which he didn’t even get a ‘thanks’ afterwards, too.

      I even visited the fire guy in the burns unit the following week, out of some kind of ‘responsibility’ vibe. But a year later met him in a pub .. he left after a while with his mates and about 10 minutes after THAT, realisation hit me the cunt hadn’t so much as put a pint on the counter for me!

      People!

      • Typical attitude of many people C, I have learnt to expect nothing that way I’m never disappointed. Still driven to help the fuckers though. Mug that’s me

  16. With age comes a change in what gives you pleasure.

    The late nights, partying, drinking heavily, shagging about are left behind for more gentle pasttimes.

    A poison pen letter, dogshit on car door handles,
    Loosening the bolts on a garden trampoline,
    And other simple pleasures.

    • I don’t even have to exert myself Mis, evil thoughts have come true. Sometimes I have to hold back, otherwise there won’t be anyone left to torment.

    • Indeed MNC, I find a slowly smouldering grass clippings bonfire helped along with a liberal application of Jays Fluid works wonders. Use it like a gas attack, wait for the correct wind direction and unleash.

  17. Good nom, Mr Isles.

    I am sure I would moan a lot less if other people weren’t such cunts. Most people round our way are fucking retards, It is amazing how the more pig ignorant the individual, the more fucking noise they make. They seem to think that paying for a couple of pints of gnats piss entitles them to bellow and shriek all the way home. Fucking wankers. I also don’t like to hear all the swearing, It really pisses me off. I suppose it is because they have such limited vocabularies. The fucked up marxist educayshun system is to blame. As for their feral kids, the little cunts need a fucking walloping. The bastards (literally in most cases) are left to run riot while their bone idle parents collect their bennies and take drugs. Even those who do work are all employed by the NHS or as teaching assistants, so contribute fuck all. Bring back the mills and work houses I say – and capital punishment. Another fucking war wouldn’t go amiss either…

    Good morning, everyone.

    • Swearing is part of my national identity, drinking is another part.
      But no excuses for drunken singing/shreiking.
      If you cant act normal while drunk you should only be allowed to drink advocaat or tequila, should silence most.

  18. We used to moan about the weather, now moan about all the scum invading the country and pray for shit weather to keep them out 🤨

  19. Stupid old codgers wandering around like they’re on day release from a funeral parlour get right on my mantits. Staring at cash machines like stupified zombies, shuffling into shop doorways and just stopping, driving at 15mph, the list goes on and on and on.

    We all get old, and we’re all entitled to be old cunts so long as we keep up the pace. But if you become an old thick twat, then get fucked off to the nearest incinerator.

    • I know what you mean Wokey. I see them everywhere and they drive me crackers. I think and sometimes say out loud to myself; “Move you dozy old fucker!” and next moment I realise they can’t be much older than me because they would have been despatched to the crem by now.

  20. ‘Badminton is a real mans sport.’

    Anything past that became meaningless drivel.

    ‘just wish they lived near me so they could compare my summer bbq smoke and jungle music with a tribal feast which lasts 48 plus hours, and tell them they are next on the grill if they have anything to say about it’

    Sounds like you live in an area full of other primitives, shouldn’t be a problem as the neighbours little chimps play stab your neighbour in the slum next door.

    Moaning old cunts who remember when consideration for one’s neighbours was a healthy virtue.

      • You’re the one talking about neighbours. Nearest house to my croft is over half a mile away, so my neighbours are horses and sheep. Black sheep! I guess you have problems with something a little closer to home going by your odd response.

        And badminton? No irony lost!

      • Of course I take everything on this site seriously and respond in kind……

      • Apologies C of the I, thought I was on the third world UK thread.
        My mistake.

  21. There used to be a working men’s/social club right near us. And, it didn’t matter what entertainment or food was put on. All the old cunts in there would do was moan. Even before the night’s music began, they started. Some lad I know who worked there put on CD as he was preparing the stage for the compere and the singers one Saturday night. The oldies in there immediately complained that the song that was on was ‘too modern’. It was David Bowie’s Life On Mars from 1973, and this was in the year 2012!🤣

    A singer who was on there once sand Kings of Leon’s ‘Sex On Fire’. The old fuckers were aghast and the moaning was near infinite. If it wasn’t Gracie Fields or Engelbert Fucking Cuntberdinck, they were never happy. Death rattling old bastards.💀

    • I used to belong to a local history group until a couple of years ago ,a and there were some very interesting events to be fair, but about 80% of the people going were nasty old cunts. I went with a friend of similar age so at late 40’s/early 50’s, we were considerably younger than the vast majority of the others.

      I decided I’d had enough when I was accused of cheating at the Christmas general knowledge quiz where I had won the extravagant bounty of a box of Quality Street. I was accused of somehow getting the answers beforehand , when it was really just that I had some idea of things that had happened in the last 30 years.

      This same group got banned from a local restaurant that had agreed a generous group discount for them – but apparently they moaned like fuck the whole time about anything and everything, and totally alienated the staff and other diners.

      We went on a coach trip to a beautiful garden in Wiltshire, which at the time was full of magnolia and rhododendron blossom and a carpet of bluebells, but all they wanted to see was the family crypt, which was locked anyway. Someone had kindly made picnic food for no charge, but they moaned like fuck again about seeds in the bread, or mustard in sandwiches. They helpfully gave non stop directions advice to the young coach driver, then berated him for getting lost on the way back.

      It really made me think that I don’t want to get like that, I really hope it is not inevitable.

  22. That Samuel Smiths pubs wont allow music.
    No jukebox
    No live music
    Also
    No mobile phones
    No swearing

    Only a matter of time till smiling is added.

    Good pint though. Cheap too👍

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