Aston Villa FC [2]

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Okay guys. I set out on this cunting in full knowledge that it may appear idiosyncratic or lacking in relevance to the wider world, but I’m hoping that you’ll cut me some slack. I need to vent my spleen, and the object of my wrath is Aston Villa, the team I’ve had the ‘pleasure’ of supporting for sixty years or more (here I use the word ‘pleasure’ in the same context that some might apply it to self-flagellation).

Here’s the scenario. It’s 25th May, the last day of the Premier League season. Villa have got a great chance of securing a top five spot in the league and with it, participation in the 2025-2026 Champions League competition. To maximise their chances however, they ideally need to win their last game, and hope that at least one of their rivals fail to win. And here is where they come face to face once more with the dark side of The Force; their last match is away at Manchester United, the team against whom Villa have what must be the worst record in the PL by a country mile.

Now as it turns out, they didn’t even need to win. The Toon obligingly lost at home, meaning that just a draw for Villa would have been enough to secure fifth place at Newcastle’s expense. But this is the Villa we’re talking about. So what happened? They bottled it is what happened. They did what they always do at Old Trafford. They ran onto the pitch, promptly shat in their shorts, and proceeded to lose 2-0 against what is universally regarded as the worst Yanited side in donkey’s. Mad? I’ve got steam coming out of my ears.

Now I can guess what people may say. It’s only a game Ron. Think of your dodgy blood pressure. Relax. Be reasonable. Well all I can say is that my capacity for reason became stunted a long time ago where this club is concerned, and my response this morning is ‘fuck off Villa. JUST. FUCK. OFF.”. I think I’m done.

Erm… see you next season then I suppose…

Nominated by : Ron Knee

65 thoughts on “Aston Villa FC [2]”

  2. Hello again Ron,
    I’d support any team like the one on show, because there aren’t any lazy spent matches amongst them.

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  3. You are lucky you have a spleen to vent Ron, I left mine in Alicante 50 years ago. Two or three years ago I had an ultrasound and the radiologist said everything was fine, I said what about my spleen? That’s OK he said so I told him he had bloody good eyesight if he could see it from Kettering. Red faces all round. 🙂

    The football season seems to come around rather too quickly, caused by UEFA Mickey Mouse competitions. I know they are paid bloody fortunes but if you are professional sportsman you need time to recover from a season and they don’t seem to be getting it. I am not surprised the England team are performing so badly they can’t be arsed.

    Hope all is going well on the medical front Ron.

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    • Thanks Wank.

      Wish I could report that I was full of beans health wise, but the reality is that my heart issue has become a bit of a daily battle, with a variety of persistent, unpleasant symptoms to contend with. I feel fucked a lot of the time; breathless, dizzy, nauseous, unsteady. Think the meds have something to do with that.

      Still, what can you do? Try and find a way to reach an accommodation with it. But at the moment I’m not even allowed by the hospital to think about a holiday.

      It’s a cunt, but c’est la vie.

      Ron – wasn’t aware of your health woes until I read this. Wishing you all the best from Admin Mansions – NA.

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      • I went through it all last year Ron, I was very lucky and got in at the Royal Papworth. See what you can do to get there they were more than bloody good. It has taken a long time to get over it, this week I finally felt pretty normal.

      • All the very best, Ron, Just done my last session of this week today. Don’t feel too bad though.

        You take it easy pal.👍

      • Hi Ron. Excuse the tardy response but I’ve only just read your post at 12:01 pm. Just to say that after my cardiac event they did overdo one of my meds which caused my blood pressure to be too low. The systolic was in the low 90s and the faintness I suffered as a result was cured immediately when my GP reduced the dose. Also I’d say don’t be despondent. My event was just over nine years ago now and I must say I tend to forget it, it now has so little effect on my daily life. All the best.

  4. Thought you were appalling against the red devils you looked like a bottom six side 😩….still at least you are holding onto your traditional stadium 🫡 like my mob who are going to upgrade the capacity by staying at our home and not moving to a soulless bowl out of town 👍… hopefully we won’t be gifting you a goal at E.R. like last time 🤪…up the whites ✌️

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    • It’s nothing unusual G-e. Don’t know what it is, but our record against the Mancs is so bad that I think we might as well just give them the six points every year and save ourselves the trouble.

      The Villa also just have this capacity to freeze when it matters. Not only did they shit themselves against Yanited, they did the same thing against Palace in the FA Cup semi a couple of weeks earlier, and got stuffed.

      Emery our manager has done wonders for the club since he joined, but there’s still the matter of replacing the backbones of a few in the squad who just seem to lack the crucial winning mentality.

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      • No doubt about it, Ron. We are shit.

        I long for the days of Cantona dueling with Big Paul McGrath.

  5. I feel for you, Ron. Still, om the bright side, those greedy cunts in the Club World Cup will be fagging themselves out well into July (I hope fucking Benfica win it!). Fingers-crossed for a few high profile pulled hamstrings to ensure Citeh have a truly shit 2025.26 season.

    Good morning, everyone.

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  6. That vintage header pic is devoid of any of our coloured cousins, & is full of real Englishmen. What a refreshing change!

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      • Sir Stanley Mathews could certainly kick a ball Gelderd, but I think, in his proffesional lifetime, he only scored two goals against Aston Villa.

  7. On a positive note Ron, Villa will play in the Europa League next season (I think) and if a Tottenham team managed by Ange Postecoglu can win the fucker then I’m sure Villa can.

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    • Truth is Herman, the shower of shit known as Tottenham got very, very lucky in the EL last season. Someone had to win it and they did so fairs dos. However, to get to the final they played a bunch of nobodies (e.g. Qarabağ, Bodø/Glimt) and teams that people have actually heard of but aren’t very good anymore (e.g. Roma, Eintracht Frankfurt). In the final they played Manure who are woeful at the moment. A Fergie era team would have had that final wrapped up before half time.

      Basically, Spurs stumbled, fumbled, staggered and flopped over the winning line without ever having faced decent opposition or having to play really well to win a game. The standard of the EL last season was crap, but as I said someone had to win it. It’s just that the achievement of doing so is rather undermined by the fact it wasn’t hard fought for or deserved on the basis of excellent play, superior tactics or a high degree of sporting prowess. Spurs just happened to be the best (just) of a garbage collection of teams.

      Spurs playing PSG in the Super Cup in August will be interesting. It’s a pity the Fat Aussie Wanker isn’t still in charge because if he had been, PSG could well have got into double figures. The next Levy scapegoat, Thomas Frank – he of zero world class player or European competition experience – will find out pretty quickly how shite Spurs are.

      Anyway, if the EL is as bollocks next season as it was this past season, Villa should win it at a canter. Of course Villa should be in the CL where Spurs will embarrass themselves next season. Knock out stages? I don’t think so. Hahaha.

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      • Good afternoon IY

        On the money regarding Tottenham Hotspur.

        If Postecoglu had remained in charge for the start of next season, (which a lot of fans did I believe) then I genuinely think a double figures defeat would have happened at some point.

        The 3 defeats last season to the bin dippers could have resulted in such a scoreline.

        The Ropey League was a watered down version last season and Tottenham fell over the line because I think the players took it upon themselves to park the bus and ignore that bluffing Aussie cunts advice.

        You could argue that they’ve acted like a big club by relieving Ange Postecoglu of his duties before further embarrassing himself and the club next season.

        Not to mention injure or harm the development of the majority of the squad.

        Thomas Frank, despite being a relative novice, at least seems to have some tactical flexibility and man management skill, which is something that has been clearly missing for the last 2 seasons.

        Daniel Levy is and always will be a cunt however.

      • Afternoon Herman – Hope you’re well this fine Saturday.

        With the little tidbits of info leaking from here and there in the media, I get the sense that some part of the decision to sack the Aussie was based upon a culture shift and power base he was trying to build. Levy doesn’t want the football manager to get too big for his boots and I think the Aussie was. Still, even a very basic knowledge and understanding of football will tell you if you have a preferred way of playing you need the players to implement that system. If you don’t have those players available, then at the very least make the team difficult to beat and build from there. The Aussie chose not to do that (in the league) and only after the cup win did he pretty much admit he gave up on trying to be competitive in the PL. That’s a dereliction of duty in my book and an insult to the cunts who went to the stadium to watch a team not be competitive.

        I say cunts regarding the people who paid to see the games because again, in my book, they are part of the problem. If they seriously wanted change at the club, then they wouldn’t attend games in protest. As soon as the avalanche of money into the coffers is impacted, Levy would be under the spotlight. But they keep filling the stadium week in, week out and buy the programmes, over-priced beer and pies and thus continue to fund the money making circus Levy has created. By continuing to fund his circus, the club will never be shot of Levy until he himself decides to step down. Maybe I’ll care again once he’s fucked off. I have my doubts.

  10. Try supporting Coventry City aka the glorious Sky Blues for 59 years!
    Won the Cup in’87 and errr thats it.
    They’ve pushed me to the brink many many times. And still i love ’em.
    Keep the Faith.

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      • I despise gloryhunting cunts. Especially ones from the far east (Ah. Me Riferong Man U fahn. Lyan Giggs) and ones from Ireland, They in particular piss me off.

        Hearing some discovered Old Trafford in 1993 twat gobbing off in a know all loud Jim McDonald/James Nesbitt accent makes my piss boil every time

        If I could still piss, that is.😉

      • Sounds like you’re refering to that childish full of himself cunt Eamonnnn Holmes?

    • I second the “good lad” comment, SH.

      I wonder if your continued support of the Sky Blues has anything to do with them not playing in the PL.

      I was a Spurs fan from a very young age until 2020. The PL getting involved in the whole BLM thing boiled my piss. The final straw for me was when that straight-legged penalty inducing cunt Harry Kane said in an interview that the players should continue taking the knee. The level of ignorance, sheep mentality, towing the party line and contempt shown for people who saw through that charade was just too much for me to bear. I was done with the club and PL football. These days I have barely a passing interest, don’t watch much of it on telly and despite Tottenham actually winning a cup last season, I really didn’t care. I felt no emotional reaction to their triumph. That in itself tells me I really have moved on and to be fair, I don’t miss it.

      Many years ago my barber at the time was a Coventry City fan and his barber mate was a Spurs fan. Good banter every time I went in there. He used to needle me about how Spurs nicked Terry Yorath off Coventry back in 1979. Happy days….back when Spurs had a decent team and manager and the Sky Blues played at Highfield Road and wore an iconic strip.

      https://www.pinterest.com/pin/132363676533590993/

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      • If whale tongue swallowed a ton of plankton, I’d go on bended knee wishing he would die.

      • Me too, Sammy. I was never bowled over by Kane.

        Yes, he’s scored a lot of goals but many of them were penalties rather than from open play. I’ll give him credit for his hold up play which is/was decent, but exciting to watch? Nah. Better than average, probably good to very good but not approaching a great player. And a massive cunt. Filling the shoes of a previously undroppable cunt Shearer. Good grief, how long did that love-in go on for? Kane is a spent force and yet still starts for boring/tedious/crap England. Overrated by a country mile me thinks.

      • Hello again IY

        The BLM shite cannot be cunted enough.

        One of the most egregious political/social grifts I can ever remember.

        The likes of Kane and Southgate were all over it. The pair of stupid spineless fuckwits.

        Takes all sorts to get a Knighthood (See Starmer, Savile and Khan as evidence)

        Couldn’t help but notice that the Spurs now have a perpetual rainbow flag perched in the corner of the new gaff.

        I still watch a bit of football because old habits die particularly hard in some cases but it’s certainly a pale imitation of the 80s and 90s game that I grew up following.

        The game has became more skilful, open and free scoring in the modern era but has been globalised to the point of exhaustion where everything is the same, everywhere.
        From the stadiums, to the tactics, the pitches, the goal nets themselves through to the abundance of bland African players in every team in every corner of the planet,

        .

      • Hey, you know your stuff, IY! Might sound like sour grapes but i was half glad we haven’t been promoted this year.
        Too many overpaid cunts in the Prem.
        Plus, we’d get beat every week.

  11. There’s a small place in Manchester called Ashton and they call their team the Villa. Not sure they still do due to moving away since the eighties. I thought they were your team, Ron, when I was a youngster.

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    • Indeed Sick.

      Of course this season was actually a pretty decent one for the Villa, one for which the supporters of most clubs would give a finger.

      The perceptive readership of IsAC may well have rumbled the fact that this nom was also poking a bit of gentle fun at the moaning football fan who’s never satisfied no matter what. Still, it doesn’t alter the fact that I was proper pissed when they couldn’t even manage a fucking draw.

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  13. How can supporters of football teams in this country proudly stand up and cheer on a load of money grabbing spent matches. Still keeping the unrecognisable names of traditional towns and cities is farcical. Come on Umbongo United !

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    • There’s much in what you say Sammy.

      Still, speaking for myself, my loyalty to the Villa goes back to my childhood days in the late fifties, when the notion of a ‘foreign’ player went back to having a player from north of the border or Northern Ireland, and the players earned a fiver a week.

      Of course things have changed out of all recognition, if I was eight years old now I’d be wandering around in a Liverpool or Man Shitty shirt, watching my heroes on Sky.

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      • Same here, Ron.
        My grandad took me to Old Trafford when I was four years old. My grandad, my dad and myself. All Newton Heath born and bred. Always enjoyed going there with my dad and/or grandad. But I started going myself and with my mattes when was old enough. I also started seriously going to away games and europe with my mates. Been everywhere, from Spotland to the San Siro, From Liverpool to Lodz. And I enjoyed every second of it.

        But, I really do believe it has come to an end. We are no longer a football club, and I can’t see any City style takover any time soon (if ever). I am just glad I saw some great teams and great players.

  15. I got shut of MUTV after getting fed up with all the spent match heads slowly coming in along with unproven pickaninnies. Also showing live matches on the women’s game. To make myself clear, I’m not misogynistic in anyway, but a proud philogynist. Its just that I don’t particularly like the ladies game.

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    • I watched MUTV when I could look at Hayley McQueen’s tits.

      But, it made my stomach turn, when Crerand and Macari became Glazer yes-men.

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      • I had to laugh when Hayley & Mandy were competing for who could show the biggest cleavage.

  16. At least you will be in Europe, Mr Ronald.

    The gods reached into my darkest thoughts and made ITFC get relegated and Scouse Cheats FC champions. Just like in ‘86.

    Back in the PL in 2047.😬

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    • It was a shocking season to be fair..
      I started off saying don’t anything stupid in the first 15 mins, oh bollocks.
      To eventually saying don’t do anything stupid in the first 60 seconds, oh bollocks.
      We were incredibly naive..

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  17. At least the Villa have some hope, Ron.
    My lot are well and truly fucked.

    From the Glazer scum, to Steptoe Ratcliffe, Frank Spencer Amorim and the shower of shit that masquerades as the team. We are frigged, an we will go down soon enough.

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  18. Was always a pleasure to go to Villa Park in the 70s and 80s, Ron.

    Our old boy, Jimmy Rimmer in goal. And Gary Shaw, Tony Morley, Gordon Cowans, Dennis Mortimer, Peter Withe, Alan Evans, David Geddis, Andy Gray. A top bunch pf players.

    Our old boss Big Ron’s early to mid 90s Villa was also excellent and underrated.
    They were our greatest rivals during the early Premier League classic Fergie years, I went to this one. Bloody great game,

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZF0477BSzOQ

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      • Indeed he was Herman.

        I have no real love for the modern game. But I do miss what it was. I recently found a horde of Red Issue fanzines, who I used to write and do the odd cartoon for in the late 80s and early 90s. The fan culture and humour then is a world away to what is is now (non-existent).

        I have also found around 100 pristine copies of Shoot Magazine in my attic. They are from the 1983-85 period. And I shall enjoy going through them.

      • And by Shoot, you actually meant Shoot Your Load, right?

        “I found some old footie magazines from the 80s/90s in my attic, your Honour. Honest.”

        I’m pulling the other one and it’s ringing loud and clear. 🙂

  19. I finally see our peaceful cum receptacle prime minister has finally called an national inquiry into grooming gangs.
    Sorry pàķi inbred grooming gangs..

    Looks like Rodney won’t be getting any suit’s and spectacles from his bum boy alli for a while.

    I want ever public servant that is complicit or turned a blind eye to be incarcerated, pensions confiscated and lives ruined.

    Then deport every fucking pàķi in this country, willingly or by the end of a gun.

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